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The 7 signs to watch out for to chase away fake friends
Thereâs nothing worse than someone who claims to be our friend and then sticks a knife in our back at the first opportunity that comes along đ€. This ends up hurting us so badly that we become suspicious and end up preferring to be alone than badly surrounded. Yet, there are signs that can warn us about toxic friendships, here are 7 of them đ!
1. Theyâre always there in the good times, but not in the bad
This is the most blatant sign in my opinion, as it shows how fake someone is when theyâre not there for us in the bad times. When it comes to doing an activity, having a party or going on a trip, theyâre there, no problem. Yet, when weâre going through a tough time for a bunch of reasons, no one is there! đ
This happened to me when a close friend died. Through the different stages of grief, I saw my genuine friendships, and it helped me to weed out my fake friends.
đ These people are only there out of self-interest, not to experience a complete relationship đ.
2. They always criticize others
We often become aware of a personâs toxicity when they openly criticize others in front of us. We can make comments about those around us, but when itâs constant and always negative, this is a red flag! In addition, it makes us aware that we must be criticized in the same way when weâre not there⊠Indeed, if the fake friend criticizes in front of us, we can be sure that they do the same when our backs are turned đ«!
3. Theyâre never wrong
Recognizing your wrongs is paramount to a healthy relationship đ. Except that fake friends donât care about questioning themselves and saying when theyâve made a mistake. Their ego is so much bigger than ours that theyâll fight until we give in so as not to lose face. So we may like to be right, but we need to know how to stop in time so as not to hurt the other person đ€. Itâs crucial to take into account the other personâs feelings, but fake friends donât do thatâŠ
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4. They never do what they say they will
Stood up once, twice, three times in a row! When you have a fake friend, itâs always difficult to see or do things with the other person, no matter how small. Fake friends make promises and never keep them, the same goes for their commitments. How many times have I had âfriendsâ stand me up at the last minute đ? In a healthy relationship, you shouldnât be ignored all the time. The other person should keep their word and show that they can be trusted enough.
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5. They only talk about themselves and never listen
Me, me, me⊠Fake friends are never interested in us, but they love talking about themselves, no problem đ! They bring everything back to themselves, even when we mention a problem weâve encountered: âYou know, Iâm not feeling great right now either, in fact the other day IâŠâ and just like that, itâs back to speech about their life đ€Ł. Theyâre their own priority, so they never listen actively or show empathy for others. Narcissus, when you hold us!
6. Theyâre jealous of our successes
Whether said openly or silently, jealousy is never a positive emotion. How do you spot a jealous friend? It comes through little phrases like âyouâre always luckyâ, âbad things never happen to you, they happen to me!â. Unfortunately, theyâre not necessarily a nasty person, but their lack of confidence may have a strong impact on their relationships.
đ Some people donât like it when we grow and when weâre happy. Fake friends prefer us to remain on the same level as them and experience the same conditions.
7. They manipulate us
Fake friends are often extremely manipulative! They do everything to achieve their goals and whisper their ideas to others. Of course, everything is cleverly done so that it suits them and goes their way. Itâs like brainwashing, you donât know if an idea comes from you or if the other person whispered it to you. Fake friendships are often orchestrated by a toxic person who uses emotional blackmail or likes to play the victim.
đ In short, itâs essential that youâre careful not to surround yourself with fake friends. Sometimes a relationship can break down or be unbalanced, but if thatâs the case, you need to talk about it. Communication is the basis of a healthy relationship, it enables you to set things straight. However, if the other person doesnât make an effort and if youâve picked up on these signals, you know that the other person isnât really there for you. Making the decision to discard fake friendships will only have positive results as youâll only keep relationships based on kindness, listening and empathy đ„°.
Editorâs note: If history repeats itself, you need to ask yourself questions...There are several types of fake friends: the profiteer who only talks about himself, who gossips about us as soon as our backs are turned, the envious one who is jealous of everything all the time, the judge who thinks he directs our conscience, etc. Itâs key that you spot them quickly in order to manage them as well as possible and to get them out of our lives if the need arises. Note that you donât have to discard them from your life, identifying them allows you to manage them better and therefore communicate well. Saying things clearly, explaining what we feel, can be enough to make a relationship healthier. On the other hand, you may have noticed that some people are addicted to toxic relationships, in friendship as in love. If this pattern recurs, you need to ask yourself the right questions and go back to the root of it. Why do I get close to this type of person? What am I looking for in them? These patterns are obviously unconscious, which is why you need to do this work with a psychologist. Donât wait to make an appointment. đ€ Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... Itâs here and now! #BornToBeMe |
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