Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Last updated by Katie M.

Now, narcissists are known for demonstrating a worrying lack of empathy along with deviously manipulative traits, oh, and before I forget to mention it, HUGE egos too. Yes, that’s right, they love spending hours looking in the mirror and being told how fabulous they are. To put it in other words, people with this personality disorder are firmly in love with themselves, to the point of being totally obsessed with their so-called perfection, but the question is, can they put their self-admiration aside enough to become preoccupied with someone else?

Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Yes, narcissists can become addicted to a person and need to know their victims like the back of their hand

Although at first glance, people with narcissistic personalities seem to be completely and utterly wrapped up in themselves, they do in fact find the strength and time to become obsessed with those they dream of manipulating. Now, I’m not trying to scare you, but narcissists love analyzing people’s personalities for their own personal gain, and in order to do so, they need to become very closely acquainted with their potential prey, which means stalking them on social media for example, meeting their friends and getting up very close and personal with them. When a person or in this case, potential victim, has caught their eye, they’ll spend hours and hours trying to learn everything about them, in an attempt to uncover their weaknesses because their goal is to manipulate them. For them, having insights on their prey is the key to grabbing control of their lives and breaking down their spirit.

Narcissistic behavior

After all, in order to remain on top, hunters (in this case narcissists) must always know the inner workings of their prey and understand how they operate. Furthermore, being in control is what drives them, so having to scroll through years and years of MySpace statuses in order to dig up precious scoops about those they have set their sights on isn’t going to get in the way of their ultimate aim.

>>> Read; Who do narcissists target?

Why might a narcissist obsess over one ex?

When a narcissistic person becomes obsessive with an ex-partner, it may be the result of several factors related to their personality and emotional needs. Here are some possible explanations:

  • Loss of control and narcissistic wounding: The end of a relationship can be perceived as a loss of control for a narcissistic person. Losing the attention, admiration and power she had over her ex-partner can cause significant narcissistic injury. As a result, she may become obsessed with her ex in order to regain control, restore her wounded ego and maintain a hold on the person.

  • Need for validation and admiration: Narcissistic people have a constant need to be admired and valued. When they no longer receive this validation from their ex-partner, they may become obsessive in the hope of re-establishing this source of approval. They may seek to reassure themselves that they are still desirable and superior to their ex-partner.

  • Need to feel superior: Narcissists have an exaggerated sense of their own importance, and seek to feel superior to others. Obsession with an ex-partner may be motivated by a desire to maintain the idea of being the best option, or to prove that they are irreplaceable. They may see the relationship with the ex-partner as a competition and be determined to be perceived as the winner.

The 5 reasons why narcissists become obsessed with people

Discover the inner workings of their minds and what fuels their compulsion below.

  • 1) Jealousy
  • 2) Fear
  • 3) Boredom
  • 4) An inherent need to control
  • 5) Feeling threatened

How to tell if a narcissist is obsessed with you?

Identifying whether a narcissistic person is obsessed with you can be complex, as their behavior can be subtle and manipulative. However, there are certain signs that can indicate narcissistic obsession. If this person always seems to want to be the center of your attention, constantly seeks your approval, and excessively compliments you to win your admiration, this can be a sign. They may also be jealous and possessive, seeking to control your time, activities, and social interactions.

Narcissistic obsession can manifest itself in devaluing your opinions and achievements, or projecting their insecurities onto you to make you vulnerable and dependent. If this person does not tolerate your independence and seeks to isolate you from others, this can be another indicator of narcissistic obsession. It's vital to recognize these signs and take steps to protect your well-being and set clear boundaries if necessary. If you have concerns about a relationship with a narcissistic person, seek support from friends, family, or qualified professionals to help you cope.

Narcissists are known for having unhealthy obsessions

Whether it’s with their appearance, how successful they are, or even the image they project, these folks that things to the extreme, and will do absolutely anything for other people to regard them as perfect. Their unhealthy obsessions are formed because they suffer from a serious lack of self-esteem and struggle to channel their energy positively. They carry around deep inside them scarring insecurities, which they have a hard time externalizing and therefore ironically become imprisoned by them. Indeed, their own complexes are definitely partly responsible for their devilish behavior and explain why they are so wrapped up with the idea of portraying the perfect life to those around them. Yes, you’ve got it, their own shortcomings result in them becoming trapped in their own lies, which in turn provoke a snowball effect of evil schemes.

What to do if you believe a narcissist is obsessed with you

If you believe that this is the case, running a mile probably sounds like a great shout, although it’s probably not the most feasible choice. Instead, let’s be realistic and think of the bigger picture, which is your mental health. When we are surrounded by truly toxic individuals, our mental health and self-esteem are likely to nosedive, which is why we must open up to our friends and family about what we are going through, whilst establishing boundaries with our abuser. We must take any means necessary to regain control, including blocking our abuser, refusing to see them and denying them sympathy or support.

How to make a narcissist obsessed with you?

In love, this manipulator needs the approval and adoration of his partner, meaning it’s fairly simple to make a narcissist obsessed, especially when you’re prepared to stroke his ego. In reality, he seeks this in all his friendships, family, and professional relationships too. To make a narcissist obsessed with you and fall in love, you have to push him to understand that you are a woman worthy of him. And it's in the bag!

Indeed, the manipulator is in love with himself, and all the gaslighting techniques are intended to hide his true self. In order to seduce him, you should compliment him constantly and prove that you are willing to support him in every aspect of his life. In fact, you’ll have to show him the most docile and agreeable version of yourself if you want him to fall for you, so don’t hold back on the charm.

So, as you can see, making a narcissist fall in love can be quite the challenge, however, it’s definitely not impossible. The key is to understand their complex personalities, and what motivates them. He's not going to let you turn the situation around, because that would mean he's lost control.

Can a narcissist really love another person?

No, it is not possible for a narcissist to fall in love with anyone other than themselves. The profile of the manipulator in love is always the same: liar, dominator, and devoid of feeling. He is often compared to a person without a heart and incapable of feeling affection for someone. By nature, he has no desire to change his behavior. Their hold on their victim is more vital than their desire to feel. The manipulator in love is unable to love because he reproduces exactly what he has been subjected to. His experiences and his life during childhood allow him to reproduce certain patterns in his relationship. 

The only goal of the narcissistic pervert is to put his victim in a spiral of emotional dependence by making them lose all confidence in themselves. The person living with a manipulator will not succeed in making a narcissistic pervert fall in love. Although a narcissist cannot fall in love, they are capable of giving praise and making their prey feel good at certain points. It is therefore essential to make a distinction between love and a feeling of well-being.

Why might a narcissist obsess over one ex?

As much as we like to dehumanize narcissists, we must admit that they are fairly similar to us in certain ways, especially when it comes to love. Now, like most of us, narcissists often have that one person that got away, yet in their case, that person could actually be the root of all their manipulative ways. Indeed, narcissists have deeply obsessive personalities and can become absolutely hooked on a person who they believe has resisted them. These folks often have trouble moving on and also accepting the fact that the other person has not chosen to be with them. For them, not only is this a dent to their ego, but it’s also truly hurtful to them, and often worsens and intensifies their tendencies.

Editor’s opinion - All obsessions can become extreme...

Any sort of obsession can become unhealthy, especially when it is focused on an individual. In this case, folks with this personality disorder can indeed veer into a dangerous sense of disillusion and become irrational. If you know someone who is going through this, encourage them to reach out to mental health professionals for help and support before their condition takes over.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!


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"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

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