What Does A Narcissist Hate? - 10 Things They Really Can’t Stand

Last updated by Katie M.

Narcissists are experts in the field of duping and manipulating their victims, yes, that’s right they are true chameleons, which explains why many of them often go undetected. Their behavior is definitely dangerous and means we definitely need to figure out what makes them tick and, in this particular case, what they hate. Understanding what these entitled personalities dislike is one of the keys to best exposing them and freeing their victims from their grip. Now, we all get angry for one reason or another, but people with this personality disorder have different triggers related to the things they despise.

What Does A Narcissist Hate? - 10 Things They Really Can’t Stand

When people with narcissistic traits decide they hate something, all hell breaks loose and no one in their perimeter is safe and trust me, I should know because I’ve been there, done that and bought the t-shirt with my ex. My ex was a complete narcissist, so I know firsthand what gets under these vindictive people’s skin and want to alert you to their triggers too.

10 Things that narcissists hate above more than anything else

1) Losing control

Control is a narcissist's best ally, and they need it in order to be able to sink their claws into their victims. From deciding where to go out to eat, to taking the lead in conversations, these personalities will want to be the ones pulling the strings and if people don’t get on board, well that’s just too bad. They feel the need to be the one who decides and feel entitled to take the lead in all circumstances. Negotiation with these folks is literally a distant dream because they will only ever take their opinion into consideration.

2) Feeling looked down on

No one likes to feel disrespected, but narcissists simply just can’t accept the feeling. When they believe that someone has started to lose their admiration for them, things could take a dangerous turn because they’ll do anything to win back that triumphant feeling of being looked up to. After all, these guys need to be told that they are the best looking, the smartest and the most interesting people on the block.

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3) Truly strong people

Now, the thing is, folks with this personality disorder are completely jealous of other people. Be it for their possessions, their success or their abilities; the bottom line is they’ll always be envious of those they believe are truly respected for their authentic selves. It’s important to remember that these people are only put on a facade that they are strong, confident and respectable, yep, they’re only hiding behind a well-constructed mask and really don’t view themselves very highly.

4) Being lectured and challenged on what they claim to know

Now, this point could really make them see red! It’s not uncommon for sufferers to believe their own hype and to convince themselves and others for that matter of fact that they are experts in certain areas. Whether they believe they are completely up-to-date with current affairs, foreign policy or even the history of football, they’ll hate anyone else invading their so-called territory and claiming to know a thing or two. Jealousy also comes into play here and makes them feel threatened and undermined by folks they obviously consider to be inferior to themselves.

5) Being told no

Okay, so imagine the consequences of showing a red rag to a bull, well, a victim finally standing up for themselves would probably produce the same effects. People with narcissistic tendencies hate being told no because they believe themselves to be superior and know better than everyone else, so why would anyone need to go against them and affirm their views?

6) Seeing other people happy

You’ve probably guessed by now, but we’re dealing with inherently unhappy and dissatisfied personalities, who struggle to love themselves. Their battles with their self-image mean they can’t stand being around those that seem secure and happy with their lives and situation.

7) Being confronted with the ugly truth

I’d be lying if I said these guys were the bravest when it comes to facing up to their realities and realizing who they are. In fact, admitting their weaknesses to themselves is something they are equipped to do. After all, feeling bad about themselves goes against their mantra of making themselves look and feel good at all times. Plus, no one really wants to admit that they are manipulative, controlling and dishonest.

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8) When someone else steals the limelight

How dare anyone steal a narcissist’s glory, and if you choose to do so, you’d best be prepared to face their wrath! The truth of the matter is that these personalities can’t stand the idea of anyone in their entourage succeeding or doing better than them. Competition is everything for them, and second place is definitely out of the question.

9) Being unable to manipulate their victims

This is undeniably their biggest source of frustration ever. These personalities don’t exist if they have no one to manipulate and control. Manipulation is their biggest hobby, so when their victims find their voice and decide enough is enough, a feeling of anger and emptiness washes over them.

10) Being ignored

When all eyes aren’t on them, and they aren’t being made to feel special, you can count on drama starting. You must remember that these folks have over inflated egos, which mean they need to command your attention and have you at their beck and call at all hours of the day and night for that matter.

>>> Am I a narcissist? Take the test here

What personality type do narcissists hate?

The narcissist is essentially a control freak, meaning these folks love pulling the strings and calling the shots when it comes to deciding things for their victims. Now, if their victim understands their game, and shows himself to be independent, they’ll instantly turn the tables and have the abuser panicking. Indeed, narcissists hate it when limits are imposed by people who appear strong and confident in their decisions. However, people with strong personality types will evidently push the manipulators to undermine their victim's confidence and esteem Furthermore, these manipulative personalities hate anyone capable of standing up to them and saying no. Indeed, the manipulator is always right and claims to have knowledge, power, and dominance. When told no, the manipulator goes crazy at the expense of those around them. These folks must always be right and be able to obtain everything. "No" is thus synonymous with a loss of control, which they do not appreciate.

Do narcissists hate themselves?

The answer is yes, however, these folks will never admit it! People with this personality disorder are shrouded with self-loathing and hate, but are too proud to seek help for these issues. Now, whilst they may appear to be confident and powerful, this image is in fact just a well-put- facade, designed to hide what they perceive as their weaknesses. 

Narcissists don’t have the capacity to love themselves, due to their dramatically low self-esteem, which therefore means that they often become trapped in a dangerous spiral of self-hate. A narcissist is essentially jealous of everyone around them, and that’s why they take such pleasure in destroying and tormenting their victims. Now, whilst they appear confident, these folks would all struggle to genuinely find something they loved about themselves. They lack of love they experienced in their childhood develops into a whole life of self-despising as an adult.

Whatever your relationship with a narcissist, it is important to remind yourself that they only put out into the world what they want other people to see. Indeed, they hide their flaws behind carefully constructed disguises and are never really prepared to address the root of their problems.

Editor’s opinion: Stand strong and don’t back down

People with narcissistic personalities will do anything to remain in control and get what they want, so don’t be drawn into their little games when they claim that you’ve done something to hurt their feelings. There are many things that get to us, but don’t let yourself be tricked into feeling guilty about things that have allegedly upset them because this will be a catalyst to gaining your sympathy vote.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!


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Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.


Like many others out there, it wasn't until I was about 60 that I started understanding the family dynamics in a house controlled by a Narcissistic mother. I loved my father dearly, and acknowledge that he was a good provider, but I now recognize him as the happy drunk, enabler, and weak parent that he was. Sadly, I believe that the bitch had a hand in my father's death many years ago - something that I did not want to acknowledge at the time, even though I was at his house, about 6 hours after he died. I went through years of upset from this, blaming myself of course, as Scapegoats tend to do. Narcmom's greatest accomplishment in life was that she managed to turn us siblings against each other. I got screwed by a Narc brother, but I believed it was baked in the cake from day 1 for one of the brothers to carry out the bitch's hatred toward me. It would have been an older golden brother, but he ended up dying with Schizophrenia earlier this year in a mental hospital. I would have asked many questions at that hospital, but Golden brother #2, the one that never even visited the confined brother, was surreptitiously listed as the next of kin. Probably at the same time Narcmom started moving the estate to his account in Pennsylvania. The will with me as executor disappeared along with the money. I laugh, though, because mommy controlled her golden baby so much that she dissuaded him from working with me, so he lost out on a fat pension and benefits for life. She also sabotaged his first 2 marriages, and he ended up with a white trash bar fly from the bowels of Pennsylvania. What a screwed up family. I am happy they're out of my life.

Sounds like my life.Im sad I was blindsided n lost all my years living in quilt n shame.Im a good person.

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