"Love is when difference no longer separates". When he says white, I say black. He's a dog person and I prefer cats. If being alike guaranteed a long-lasting relationship, my man and I would be left out in the cold and probably wouldn't last longer than a week together. We’re worlds apart, yet madly in love and use our differences to form a great team, to make discoveries, to gain in organization and even in open-mindedness! The absence of common points is not a flaw, and here’s the proof.
If Meghan Markle hadn't married Prince Harry, but instead went for an actor like herself, their story wouldn't have been so cute and would probably have gone unnoticed in the stratosphere. Many couples prove that differences are a strength, and my relationship isn't any different.
When the passion fades, we start to notice what really matters in a relationship. In addition to his beautiful eyes and his devastating humor, I realize that his reassuring nature calms my omnipresent stress, or that he is a fine cook whereas I am more gifted at eating. I bring my touch of diplomacy to the table, and he’s there to organize things. Thanks to our differences, the strengths of one partner compensate for the weaknesses of the other, and this is real teamwork! Imagine a household made up of two angry or two shy people, it just wouldn’t work... By being efficient and balanced, we pull each other up.
New food, new music groups or new hobbies, I learn something new every day! Well, although I'm not 100% converted yet, I can legitimately say that thanks to him, I can now bear listening to hard rock. Differences are more sources of discussion than sources of conflict or reasons for divorce. As long as you are not closed-minded, expose your own point of view and listen to your partners too.
It's true, our lack of common ground sometimes poses a problem; especially when we sit at the table. He can't live without meat, and I can. He has never understood the usefulness of soup, and I drink it regularly. But each problem has its solution! It simply requires organization. It is also valid for the choice of vacation location, in turn, we make concessions, we step out of our comfort zone, and we are delighted to make each other happy, because the next time, the roles will be reversed!
Be careful not to confuse soulmate and double. I don't want my other half and I to become one to the point that our entourage does not even differentiate us. We are a couple, but two people with differences. Differences that must be cultivated because they make me the person I am. Down-to-earth, while he is a great dreamer, organized, while he leaves room for surprise... It is in passing for his character traits, different from mine, that I fell under his spell! After all, only narcissists would like to go out with their clone.
> Read; am I too demanding of my partner? <
Any love coach will tell you; a relationship that is built on difference requires a real capacity for openness, adaptation, understanding and acceptance. In addition to spending time with me and showering me with attention, my man accepts to see the world through my eyes and understands that I have a different way of functioning than he does... and he has no problem with that. I think we have the ultimate proof that he loves me. And without love, none of this would have been possible!
If, as the saying goes, opposites attract, it still seems preferable to have a few common interests. Without seeking absolute mimicry, having endless discussions, and fiery debates, in a word, a stimulating and fruitful exchange allows you to cultivate your relationship. Living privileged moments around your passions is just as rewarding.
In fact, when the first signs of routine appear, if you have no common ground, nothing that can cement the relationship, it quickly becomes problematic. Whilst having absolutely nothing in common might not seem like a huge issue, in the beginning, eventually, it will drive a wedge between you and your partner. That’s right, you’ll soon find that you have nothing to talk about and aren’t exactly excited at the prospect of spending quality time together doing one of your partner’s favorite activities.
Editor's opinion: Having things in common reassures us!Every relationship is beautifully unique, just like the factors that impact its chances for success. Whilst we don't have to love spending our weekends watching football with our partner, it is important to compromise when it comes to love. I'm not saying you have to do everything together and be attached at the hip, but, having some common ground is essential for a love story to last in the long run. 🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now! #BornToBeMe |
Hopefully, now you are proud of your differences, and that your couple is stronger for it!
Article presented by Katie M.
Discover the world through my eyes.
A little belittling remark here, minimizing our emotions there... So many little things that show us that we’re being psychologically abused. It may seem trivial, but that’s the problem. We downplay it too much, which makes it the most common type of abuse. So, how do you identify psychological abuse? What should you do if you’re a victim? Let’s explain.
I suffer from an eating disorder, and several people around me have a mood disorder. I’m not completely unfamiliar with behavioral disorders, or at least not these. However, there are several types of disorders and they can even affect sexual behavior. So how do you define them? Here’s a list and some definitions related to behavioral disorders.
As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. Discover how they behave in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.
We are all unique individuals, and we, therefore, go about handling breakups and the other obstacles life throws our way, differently. Now, when it comes to breakups, there are those of us that almost become celibate and decide that they can't stand the idea of getting to know anyone ever again. Then, on the other hand, there are those that fill their phones with dating apps and jump from one one-night stand to the next. This second scenario may seem harmless, but once we dig a little deeper into the repercussions of it, we soon realize that sleeping with other people so freshly out of a relationship masks troubling sentiments of unhappiness and uneasiness.
Ever since I was a child, I’ve felt like I do things according to others. My choices and my behavior have long been dictated by the approval of others. As I’ve got older, I’ve learned to assert myself and detach myself from what others might think of my actions. Why do we constantly seek this validation, and how can we get rid of this need for recognition when it becomes toxic? Having been there myself, I’ll explain it all to you!
You were well on your way. You were holding on, motivated by the idea of finally having a bikini body this year. But then the lockdowns and the laziness all hit you at once... That’s right, your cellulite is still there and not ready to leave just yet. But guess what?! Cellulite is like a little pimple, either we own it, or we resort to using tricks to camouflage it.
Work has always been a synonym of repression for me because it takes up so much of our precious time. Let’s be honest, a 9-5 job with a horrendous daily commute often means that work is sadly our sole occupation. So, when the Covid-19 pandemic struck over a year ago, and we were all ordered to stay home, I found it hard to hide my joy in front of my distraught coworkers; although thankfully my acting talents saved me. You can probably already tell, but going into the office every day was nothing less than torture for me. Yet, all these months later, I’ve realized that I despise working from home and would do anything to sit in my uncomfortable office chair once again!
Today, I’m focussing on a habit that drives me crazy: wanting to have the last word. It’s probably because I’m not very good at comebacks or self-confident enough that I’m both fascinated and annoyed by people who always want to be right. But why do they always want to have the last word? What’s behind it?
In general, thumb sucking ends around the age of 6. I say “in general” and not “normally”, because as an adult I don’t feel weird or particularly bothered by it. When I get stressed, I allow myself to let go and return to my childhood self by sucking my thumb. Those who know about it or catch me by surprise make me realize I should be ashamed… But is this habit a big deal? What if it makes me feel better? It’s certainly no worse than lighting up a cigarette or biting your nails…
There are people who don’t like to be touched at all, and who are almost disgusted by physical contact. There are people who like to caress and be caressed for anything and everything, and there are people like me who always recoil when someone tries to touch them. Why do I shy away from physical contact? What if it’s all linked to the past?
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
- Oscar Wilde
