When we find ourselves in an abusive situation, which is damaging for our mental health, lots of us struggle with deciding what to do. When faced with master manipulators, should we talk to our family members about what we’ve been through? Or, should we remain silent in the hope that our narcissistic abuser can change? This dilemma is a very frequent one, however the truth is abusers never change, which really only leaves us with one option and that’s to flee, yet this is likely to provoke an unprecedented amount of rage when the guilty party realizes their world is collapsing around them and that they are about to be exposed! This is what happens when someone with this personality disorder feel the control slipping away...
How does a narcissist react when they can't control you? - 10 Things they do
When the narcissist can't control you, they'll act out and do these things;
1) They become even more devious than before
Whenever a narcissist starts to panic, they step their manipulation up a level and unleash a new realm of rage, which must be said that many of us could never even imagine was possible. They’ll yell, stomp their feet, sulk and do everything in their power to keep you between their grips, even if it means becoming violent and physically abusive… Their goal is to scare you into thinking that you won’t be able to survive or get by without them, meaning that absolutely nothing is off limits. That’s right, they’ll act like a spoiled child having their favorite toy confiscated, yet their favorite toy is you; their victim.
2) They’ll give you the silent treatment
When a narcissist can no longer control you, they try to guilt-trip you into staying, so what better way to do so than by cutting off all forms of communication and acting like you no longer exist to them? Here, we are dealing with very smart people who aim to isolate their victims from their family members and friends, leaving them to believe they have no one else other than their abuser to turn to. Who would have thought that silence could be such a powerful tool?
>>> Read; Why the silent treatment is so powerful
3) They’ll start up a smear campaign against you
A narcissistic personality disorder means that sufferers will do anything and everything to preserve their image and make their victims look like the guilty party. They’ll spin webs of lies in an attempt to get people to believe that the people they targeted are simply out to get them and jealous of their success and lifestyle. Nothing is off limits here, and they really will go to great lengths to protect their reputation. So if you have recently broken up with your narcissistic pervert, don’t be surprised if you hear of rumors circulating about you on social media, for example.
4) They’ll go off the radar
Folks with such passive-aggressive personalities may simply just give you the slip when they believe that you have taken back the control. The idea of distancing themselves is to leave their victims with plenty of unanswered questions that will keep them up at night. Plus, for them, being the one who physically goes away will plant terrifying thoughts in the heads’ of their victims and plunge them into a sense of the unknown in regard to when they’ll show up again. That’s right, when they lose control, they’ll simply decide to ruin your life from miles away.
5) They might even stalk you
Because what’s scarier than the idea of being tracked everywhere? These vengeful beings aren’t above inflicting a last dose of terror on their prey, and often become obsessed with the idea of wrecking people’s lives by constantly lurking in the shadows. In fact, the thought of making folks look over their shoulder excites them and makes them feel omnipotent.
6) They’ll go into denial mode
‘No, I’d never dream of doing that’ is probably their most used phrase… When their reputation is at stake, they’ll become the most sophisticated liars around and will refuse to accept and acknowledge the truth. Accepting they are in the wrong is completely out of the question, meaning they’ll fight to the bitter end in order to preserve their image, even if it involves making ludicrous claims and painting themselves out as the victim.
7) They’ll humiliate you
Whether it’s by revealing your deepest, darkest secrets or repeating things that you’ve said about other people, a narcissist will use your own past against you in an attempt to burn bridges with your loved ones. When they feel like the control is slipping from their fingers, these personalities will become obsessed with making you look like a bad person.
8) They’ll try to get a reaction out of you
Intense narcissistic rage means that these folks naturally know how to push their victims buttons in order to make them feel even worse. They are great at analyzing other people’s weaknesses and don’t hold back when it comes to exploiting them for their own gain. They’ll believe they’ve hit the jackpot if they can make their victims break down and seem unstable or unreliable.
9) They’ll make you want them back
They know how to charm people, and this is what makes them so successful in the art of lies and deception. Their naturally manipulative characters help them read situations and turn them around to their advantage. The truth is, their analytic skills mixed with their appreciation for love bombing make them hard to resist, especially when they promise to change and become better. They know how to guilt-trip and aren’t afraid to do so in order to get what they want, even if it involves blatant manipulation and lies. Plus, they never respect any boundaries and will therefore make it impossible for their victims to forget them.
10) They’ll give their all to totally break your confidence
From insulting you about your physical appearance, your weight, or even convincing you that no one will ever love you, narcissists have a way of making people believe that they are worthless and incapable of achieving anything without their presence. Wearing down their victims is a key step in getting them to stay and grabbing onto the remaining bits of control. After all, when our self-esteem is at rock bottom, moving on is definitely much harder.
What is a narcissistic collapse? - What are the signs of it?
A narcissistic collapse is the first step in a sequence concluding in depression. It comes from the massive disinvestment of the self and is caused and brought into play by failures and disappointing events. When faced with the prospect of being defeated, the narcissist becomes hollow and projects their fears onto external factors, including their victims.
There follows a movement of intense hatred and the emergence of archaic violence. These destructive impulses are very violent and hard to control. Following this, the world then appears destroyed, including what was good in it. Sometimes the repression prevents the violence from being expressed. It follows an archaic feeling of guilt and a reversal of aggression against oneself, which accentuates the disinvestment of the self.
The characteristic global sequence can be broken down into three stages;
- first phase: the disappointment produced a first collapse. -
- second stage: the projection leads to a violent and destructive reaction. -
- third stage: the backlash produces a second collapse.
What does a narcissist meltdown look like?
When a narcissist spirals and melts down, (usually when people get close to unmasking their behavior), these manipulators explode. Whenever anything gets under their skin, these folks immediately feel isolated and realize that they have nothing to hold on to. In this instance, they will try to drag as many people as possible down, notably by means of lies and further manipulation, pitting people against each other, to continue to divide and maintain their reign, which is drawing to a close. In other words, when they are totally overwhelmed, rare cases of questioning may occur on certain pathological character traits, but the road is very long.
How does a narcissist regain control?
When a narcissist feels the tables turning on them, they will do everything in their power to regain control and pull back their authority. Narcissists don’t take well to having their power diminished, which is why they won’t hesitate to become even more cunning and conniving when they feel that their victim is slipping away. Now, to regain control, these guys won’t hesitate to make fake apologies about their behavior, in a sick attempt to lull people into a false sense of security. Likewise, they’ll also make up excuses for their actions and will claim that they can change and become decent human beings. In short, they will intensify their lies and manipulation in order to remain in the driving seat, and you’ve guessed it, they won’t even feel bad about it.
Editor’s opinion - How to take control away from a narcissist - Be the decision maker
Once you’ve exposed your narcissistic abuser and can finally see them for what they truly are, you mustn’t back down, despite how intimidating the prospect of a future alone may seem. The key is to move forward and in order to do so, you can’t allow yourself to fall for their lies or to doubt yourself and your strength to walk away once and for all. When these folks lose control, they do indeed become much more dangerous, however that shouldn’t prevent you from freeing yourself from their malignant clutches.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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