When A Narcissist Loses Control, These 10 Things Happen

Last updated by Katie M.

You probably know by now that narcissists only ever look for one thing and one thing only; and that’s control! Whether in their personal or professional life, folks with this personality disorder need to be in the driving seat and the one calling the shots, otherwise all hell breaks loose. Although their cunning and manipulative nature means they are often hard to escape, it is still possible to turn the tables on them and take the upper hand. Yet, you’ll need a thick skin to do so because when they feel their power slipping away, they become even more dangerous and abusive; here’s how they react when that happens.

When A Narcissist Loses Control, These 10 Things Happen
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When we find ourselves in an abusive situation, which is damaging for our mental health, lots of us struggle with deciding what to do. When faced with master manipulators, should we talk to our family members about what we’ve been through? Or, should we remain silent in the hope that our narcissistic abuser can change? This dilemma is a very frequent one, however the truth is abusers never change, which really only leaves us with one option and that’s to flee, yet this is likely to provoke an unprecedented amount of rage when the guilty party realizes their world is collapsing around them and that they are about to be exposed! This is what happens when someone with this personality disorder feel the control slipping away...

When a narcissist loses control over a victim, they'll do these 10 things

When the narcissist can't control you, they'll act out and do these things;

1) They become even more devious than before

Whenever a narcissist starts to panic, they step their manipulation up a level and unleash a new realm of rage, which must be said that many of us could never even imagine was possible. They’ll yell, stomp their feet, sulk and do everything in their power to keep you between their grips, even if it means becoming violent and physically abusive… Their goal is to scare you into thinking that you won’t be able to survive or get by without them, meaning that absolutely nothing is off limits. That’s right, they’ll act like a spoiled child having their favorite toy confiscated, yet their favorite toy is you; their victim.

2) They’ll give you the silent treatment

When a narcissist can no longer control you, they try to guilt-trip you into staying, so what better way to do so than by cutting off all forms of communication and acting like you no longer exist to them? Here, we are dealing with very smart people who aim to isolate their victims from their family members and friends, leaving them to believe they have no one else other than their abuser to turn to. Who would have thought that silence could be such a powerful tool?

3) They’ll start up a smear campaign against you

A narcissistic personality disorder means that sufferers will do anything and everything to preserve their image and make their victims look like the guilty party. They’ll spin webs of lies in an attempt to get people to believe that the people they targeted are simply out to get them and jealous of their success and lifestyle. Nothing is off limits here, and they really will go to great lengths to protect their reputation. So if you have recently broken up with your narcissistic pervert, don’t be surprised if you hear of rumors circulating about you on social media, for example.

4) They’ll go off the radar

Folks with such passive-aggressive personalities may simply just give you the slip when they believe that you have taken back the control. The idea of distancing themselves is to leave their victims with plenty of unanswered questions that will keep them up at night. Plus, for them, being the one who physically goes away will plant terrifying thoughts in the heads’ of their victims and plunge them into a sense of the unknown in regard to when they’ll show up again. That’s right, when they lose control, they’ll simply decide to ruin your life from miles away.

5) They might even stalk you

Because what’s scarier than the idea of being tracked everywhere? These vengeful beings aren’t above inflicting a last dose of terror on their prey, and often become obsessed with the idea of wrecking people’s lives by constantly lurking in the shadows. In fact, the thought of making folks look over their shoulder excites them and makes them feel omnipotent.

6) They’ll go into denial mode

‘No, I’d never dream of doing that’ is probably their most used phrase… When their reputation is at stake, they’ll become the most sophisticated liars around and will refuse to accept and acknowledge the truth. Accepting they are in the wrong is completely out of the question, meaning they’ll fight to the bitter end in order to preserve their image, even if it involves making ludicrous claims and painting themselves out as the victim.

7) They’ll humiliate you

Whether it’s by revealing your deepest, darkest secrets or repeating things that you’ve said about other people, a narcissist will use your own past against you in an attempt to burn bridges with your loved ones. When they feel like the control is slipping from their fingers, these personalities will become obsessed with making you look like a bad person.

8) They’ll try to get a reaction out of you

Intense narcissistic rage means that these folks naturally know how to push their victims buttons in order to make them feel even worse. They are great at analyzing other people’s weaknesses and don’t hold back when it comes to exploiting them for their own gain. They’ll believe they’ve hit the jackpot if they can make their victims break down and seem unstable or unreliable.

9) They’ll make you want them back

They know how to charm people, and this is what makes them so successful in the art of lies and deception. Their naturally manipulative characters help them read situations and turn them around to their advantage. The truth is, their analytic skills mixed with their appreciation for love bombing make them hard to resist, especially when they promise to change and become better. They know how to guilt-trip and aren’t afraid to do so in order to get what they want, even if it involves blatant manipulation and lies. Plus, they never respect any boundaries and will therefore make it impossible for their victims to forget them.

10) They’ll give their all to totally break your confidence

From insulting you about your physical appearance, your weight, or even convincing you that no one will ever love you, narcissists have a way of making people believe that they are worthless and incapable of achieving anything without their presence. Wearing down their victims is a key step in getting them to stay and grabbing onto the remaining bits of control. After all, when our self-esteem is at rock bottom, moving on is definitely much harder.

What is a narcissistic collapse?

A narcissistic collapse is the first step in a sequence concluding in depression. It comes from the massive disinvestment of the self and is caused and brought into play by failures and disappointing events. When faced with the prospect of being defeated, the narcissist becomes hollow and projects their fears onto external factors, including their victims.

There follows a movement of intense hatred and the emergence of archaic violence. These destructive impulses are very violent and hard to control. Following this, the world then appears destroyed, including what was good in it. Sometimes the repression prevents the violence from being expressed. It follows an archaic guilt and a reversal of aggression against oneself, which accentuates the disinvestment of the self.

The characteristic global sequence can be broken down into three stages. - first phase: the disappointment produced a first collapse. - second stage: the projection leads to a violent and destructive reaction. - third time: the backlash produces a second collapse.

Editor’s opinion - How to take control away from a narcissist - Be the decision maker

Once you’ve exposed your narcissistic abuser and can finally see them for what they truly are, you mustn’t back down, despite how intimidating the prospect of a future alone may seem. The key is to move forward and in order to do so, you can’t allow yourself to fall for their lies or to doubt yourself and your strength to walk away once and for all. When these folks lose control, they do indeed become much more dangerous, however that shouldn’t prevent you from freeing yourself from their malignant clutches.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

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Comments

All things that fit Trump to a tee.

It’s very obvious by your remark you have no idea The devastating and disastrous ways your soul can be destroyed by a real narcissist. I can’t even figure out if I exist anymore.

yes sound just like my roommate in live in a house with, she has been doing this more and more everyday. ever since i told her that because of her nercissism is what is making me decide to move into a dorm room when i transfer to university. even though the roommate say's she has bipolar, i just wonder if her psychiatrist did not look into narcisssism at all??? i have been dealing with her even harassing me for reporting her actions to her (our)old foster mother, on her actions. to harass me to block te foster mother and not talk to her anymore. to even that roommate acts like the gestapo now on whenever i talk to my old foster mom. well the foster mother is supportive that i move into a dorm. but i don't think she know's how to get rid of that housmate. i just wonder is this the signs of the narc roommate soon-to-give up on her control on me? or will she get worse over time. that girl is 31 and acts this way and i am 32 years old autistic women that been dealing with this girl. lord know's why she is this way, sice that girl beleives i am a demon and have a demon just for me being into history as a history major. while she believes she is so christianeven though i know she is having a affair with a marrid guy, does not take her meds.lives a sexually loose lifestyle. that girl for all she does in her life, thinks i am just evil and bloody adolf hitler. even though this girl has been known to be racist. so another question is what do expect again for now tell august 2023 from that room mate and how might this girl act after i leave her.

That describes my daughter, she has to be the one that can be diagnosed. She heard my girlfriend say something on the phone and has convinced me to throwy girlfriend out . She is doing everything I just read to a T. So how should I handle her to avoid her from lashing out on me. Concerned Dad

My daughter is like this . My girlfriend said something on the phone and she heard her. Now she has convinced me to throw out my girlfriend , has taken control of everything on my life. She will not hear of my girlfriend coming back . How can I stop her . She has gone way to far with this. Concerned Father

My ex pastor is like this. He is a total pain. But his misdeeds are catching up with him. He is dangerous to be around, and his world is getting smaller.

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