How Does A Narcissist React When They Can’t Control You?

Last updated by Katie M.

You probably know by now that narcissists only ever look for one thing and one thing only; and that’s control! Whether in their personal or professional life, folks with this personality disorder need to be in the driving seat and the one calling the shots, otherwise all hell breaks loose. Although their cunning and manipulative nature means they are often hard to escape, it is still possible to turn the tables on them and take the upper hand. Yet, you’ll need a thick skin to do so because when they feel their power slipping away, they become even more dangerous and abusive; here’s how they react when that happens.

How Does A Narcissist React When They Can’t Control You?
Contents:

When we find ourselves in an abusive situation, which is damaging for our mental health, lots of us struggle with deciding what to do. When faced with master manipulators, should we talk to our family members about what we’ve been through? Or, should we remain silent in the hope that our narcissistic abuser can change? This dilemma is a very frequent one, however the truth is abusers never change, which really only leaves us with one option and that’s to flee, yet this is likely to provoke an unprecedented amount of rage when the guilty party realizes their world is collapsing around them and that they are about to be exposed! This is what happens when someone with this personality disorder feel the control slipping away...

When a narcissist loses control over a victim, they'll do these 10 things

When the narcissist can't control you, they'll act out and do these things;

1) They become even more devious than before

Whenever a narcissist starts to panic, they step their manipulation up a level and unleash a new realm of rage, which must be said that many of us could never even imagine was possible. They’ll yell, stomp their feet, sulk and do everything in their power to keep you between their grips, even if it means becoming violent and physically abusive… Their goal is to scare you into thinking that you won’t be able to survive or get by without them, meaning that absolutely nothing is off limits. That’s right, they’ll act like a spoiled child having their favorite toy confiscated, yet their favorite toy is you; their victim.

2) They’ll give you the silent treatment

When a narcissist can no longer control you, they try to guilt-trip you into staying, so what better way to do so than by cutting off all forms of communication and acting like you no longer exist to them? Here, we are dealing with very smart people who aim to isolate their victims from their family members and friends, leaving them to believe they have no one else other than their abuser to turn to. Who would have thought that silence could be such a powerful tool?

3) They’ll start up a smear campaign against you

A narcissistic personality disorder means that sufferers will do anything and everything to preserve their image and make their victims look like the guilty party. They’ll spin webs of lies in an attempt to get people to believe that the people they targeted are simply out to get them and jealous of their success and lifestyle. Nothing is off limits here, and they really will go to great lengths to protect their reputation. So if you have recently broken up with your narcissistic pervert, don’t be surprised if you hear of rumors circulating about you on social media, for example.

4) They’ll go off the radar

Folks with such passive-aggressive personalities may simply just give you the slip when they believe that you have taken back the control. The idea of distancing themselves is to leave their victims with plenty of unanswered questions that will keep them up at night. Plus, for them, being the one who physically goes away will plant terrifying thoughts in the heads’ of their victims and plunge them into a sense of the unknown in regard to when they’ll show up again. That’s right, when they lose control, they’ll simply decide to ruin your life from miles away.

5) They might even stalk you

Because what’s scarier than the idea of being tracked everywhere? These vengeful beings aren’t above inflicting a last dose of terror on their prey, and often become obsessed with the idea of wrecking people’s lives by constantly lurking in the shadows. In fact, the thought of making folks look over their shoulder excites them and makes them feel omnipotent.

6) They’ll go into denial mode

‘No, I’d never dream of doing that’ is probably their most used phrase… When their reputation is at stake, they’ll become the most sophisticated liars around and will refuse to accept and acknowledge the truth. Accepting they are in the wrong is completely out of the question, meaning they’ll fight to the bitter end in order to preserve their image, even if it involves making ludicrous claims and painting themselves out as the victim.

7) They’ll humiliate you

Whether it’s by revealing your deepest, darkest secrets or repeating things that you’ve said about other people, a narcissist will use your own past against you in an attempt to burn bridges with your loved ones. When they feel like the control is slipping from their fingers, these personalities will become obsessed with making you look like a bad person.

8) They’ll try to get a reaction out of you

Intense narcissistic rage means that these folks naturally know how to push their victims buttons in order to make them feel even worse. They are great at analyzing other people’s weaknesses and don’t hold back when it comes to exploiting them for their own gain. They’ll believe they’ve hit the jackpot if they can make their victims break down and seem unstable or unreliable.

9) They’ll make you want them back

They know how to charm people, and this is what makes them so successful in the art of lies and deception. Their naturally manipulative characters help them read situations and turn them around to their advantage. The truth is, their analytic skills mixed with their appreciation for love bombing make them hard to resist, especially when they promise to change and become better. They know how to guilt-trip and aren’t afraid to do so in order to get what they want, even if it involves blatant manipulation and lies. Plus, they never respect any boundaries and will therefore make it impossible for their victims to forget them.

10) They’ll give their all to totally break your confidence

From insulting you about your physical appearance, your weight, or even convincing you that no one will ever love you, narcissists have a way of making people believe that they are worthless and incapable of achieving anything without their presence. Wearing down their victims is a key step in getting them to stay and grabbing onto the remaining bits of control. After all, when our self-esteem is at rock bottom, moving on is definitely much harder.

Editor’s opinion - How to take control away from a narcissist - Be the decision maker

Once you’ve exposed your narcissistic abuser and can finally see them for what they truly are, you mustn’t back down, despite how intimidating the prospect of a future alone may seem. The key is to move forward and in order to do so, you can’t allow yourself to fall for their lies or to doubt yourself and your strength to walk away once and for all. When these folks lose control, they do indeed become much more dangerous, however that shouldn’t prevent you from freeing yourself from their malignant clutches.

Be sure to check out the following content too:

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Comments

That describes my daughter, she has to be the one that can be diagnosed. She heard my girlfriend say something on the phone and has convinced me to throwy girlfriend out . She is doing everything I just read to a T. So how should I handle her to avoid her from lashing out on me. Concerned Dad

My daughter is like this . My girlfriend said something on the phone and she heard her. Now she has convinced me to throw out my girlfriend , has taken control of everything on my life. She will not hear of my girlfriend coming back . How can I stop her . She has gone way to far with this. Concerned Father

My ex pastor is like this. He is a total pain. But his misdeeds are catching up with him. He is dangerous to be around, and his world is getting smaller.

Wasted time love patience reson I was hoping time would bring trust and respect

I felt the same way. I was on an emotional rollercoaster. I changed my morals to accommodate him. No boundaries and lack of respect. Sudden bursts of anger and insults I started to believe I deserved. He Was cheap. I finally realized I was never going to be his girlfriend All His love was given to his adult daughters. I felt used and ashamed

Read our latest articles here:

I’ve Got Nothing In Common With My Family

The older I get, the more I feel like I’m different from my family. I even often feel like we’re incompatible, yet I didn’t have that feeling before. Family is such an important part of our lives that it’s confusing when it’s incompatible. What is it about a family that makes you feel like you have nothing in common with them? Is it a reflection of real incompatibility? What solutions are there? All will be explained.

Let Me Have Just One Child!

I subscribe to several profiles of moms on social media with only one child. I’ve seen the same rant on their posts and stories many times: let me have just one child! Tired of the never-ending question “When is the second child coming?”, they spoke out to say that their choice to have just one child was heavily criticized. But why is this decision to have just one child perceived so badly? Let’s find out.

Are Narcissists Aware Of What They Do?

When it comes to people with narcissistic personality disorder, it is often difficult to distinguish the truth from the common misconceptions. In this precise case, I thought it was about time we took a closer look at their psyche and inner workings of their consciousness, by addressing whether they are privy to their condition. After all, people with such an intense sense of entitlement and serious lack of empathy must realize that they are narcissistic; right? Well, in fact, the answer to that is not exactly black and white, so let’s take a look at why.

Am I A Narcissist?

You are no doubt here because people have pointed out to you that you love being the center of attention and on top of that, you have a huge sense of entitlement, right? Or perhaps it’s because you lack empathy and have a grandiose sense of self-importance? If you are nodding your head to either of the previous scenarios, the following signs in our narcissist test will in fact reveal whether you have narcissistic traits that could be diagnosed as a disorder. Our 10 steps diagnostic tool is here to confirm or refute your suspicions, so let’s get started.

Test Out The 36 Questions That Lead You To Finding Love

Imagine if you could fall in love in just 36 questions? Well, it's possible! An experiment conducted by the American researcher in psychology, Arthur Aron, was set up to study this possibility. Thanks to the questions of the experiment, it is in fact possible to fall in love with a stranger or to rekindle the flame between two exes. Whether you believe the hype or not, it might be interesting to put things to the test and to discover the questions of the experiment! After all, these 36 little interrogations could lead you to finding the love of your life.

I Love Being Lazy

I’m lazy, there, I said it! I've probably always known this, although it probably took me a long time to admit it and say it out loud because it’s very frowned upon. But now I’m alright with it. Why? Because stress is just as dangerous as smoking and inactivity is no longer a taboo… what’s more, it feels amazing!

Is Working With Your Partner A Good Or Bad Idea?

Sharing everything with your partner is a sign of a healthy relationship for some people, even when it comes to working. However, that being said, for others, working with their partner just seems like a bad idea and the perfect recipe for tension. Do we need to separate our personal and professional lives, or is it okay to blur the lines and mix everything? After all, what could do wrong? Find out how to cope when your significant other is also your coworker!

How Can Good Self-Esteem Help You Through Difficult Situations?

Self-esteem essentially refers to someone’s sense of personal worth or value. By way of explanation, self-esteem is related to how you view yourself and how much you appreciate yourself, regardless of the situations you face. Now, having a definition to hand is all well and good, but how in a practical sense, how can being sure of yourself help you handle some of life’s most difficult circumstances?

What Is Candaulism?

Now, many of you are no doubt scratching your head wondering what candaulism means, but some of you must already know by now, and that would explain the recent spike in Google searches for the term. Candaulism is in fact a sexual practice in which a man exposes his female partner or photos of her, to other consenting people. This particular fantasy is therefore associated with exhibitionism. Although that’s not all, the term can also apply to a male partner watching his girlfriend or wife making love to someone else. So, let’s take a peep (get it?) at this practice.

What Does Cheating Say About A Person?

Believing that you are in a committed relationship and then realizing your partner has been playing away is certainly one of the most brutal things anyone can go through, and I’m speaking from experience. Being cheated on throws everything you know up in the air and raises plenty of questions just about everything. However, it also gives you a clearer insight into who you were really with. That’s right, it speaks volumes about a person’s character, and said volumes aren’t exactly always beautiful poetic either.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to soothe an anxiety attack