Brilliant, ambitious, perfectionist... These words correspond to some people, especially women, who suffer from āTinkerbellā syndrome. But as in all fairy tales, thereās a dark side... Just like Peter Panās fairy, they try to impress and are perpetually unfulfilled, compulsively seductive, and even manipulative. Psychotherapist Sylvie Tenenbaum coined this term after noticing that some people were obsessed with appearances and success. Letās explain.
For many years, I was pretty good at sports: I went to the gym several times a week, I ran, and I swam. Even though I never took pleasure from it, I was aware that I had to be active, especially being overweight. However, since I finished my studies, thereās something Iāve been lacking horribly in order to do sports: time! And this is the case for many adults, as 95% of the 18 to 65-year-olds donāt do enough sport.
I remember this suspension bridge in Northern Ireland, it was over the cliffs and the wind made it sway dangerously. It was impressive, but I thought I could get over it with no problem. Except that once I was on it, I realized that you could see the void through the planks. I was frozen on the spot by the fear, I couldnāt take another step. That day was when I realized I had acrophobia. What is it exactly? How do you develop a fear of heights? All will be explained.
Iām not the best at introducing myself at work. Iām one of those shy people, so itās always hard to reach out to others. However, Iāve improved over time and now know how to introduce myself at a new job! After all, if youāve had a successful job interview, and youāve been chosen, you shouldnāt ask yourself too many questions and be confident. Here are 8 tips that will help you make a splash when introducing yourself at work!
There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Letās settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?
āRevenge is a dish best served cold.ā Iāve always heard this expression, but cold or hot, does revenge really do any good? The desire for revenge overwhelms us when we suffer an injustice. Itās a primary reaction mechanism rooted in our unconscious. When we suffer, we want the other person to suffer too. Letās see why this makes us feel good, but also why revenge can be dangerous for our mental well-being. All will be explained.
Getting over an ex isnāt always an easy process because we all mend, move on and heal differently. Whilst for some of us, a quick hookup and a few weeks of reflection is enough, others take much longer to move forward and on to new things. Whatever method you choose when it comes to forgetting about your past love experiences, know that it takes a lot of strength of character. The post breakup period can make us feel lonely and lost, but believe us when we say there is light at the end of the tunnel. Discover the motions people go through and the steps involved to being able to recover for heartbreak.
It's often tough for those in abusive relationships to face the music and admit that things aren't healthy. Controlling behaviors span from constant criticism, which makes victims feel drained, to domestic abuse. If any of these situations ring true to you, then itās probably about time you gave your relationship some thought and started thinking about leaving the relationship and moving on. We're here to discuss what qualifies a relationship as toxic and what we need to do to put an end to the abuse. After all, it's time you made your future brighter and started focusing on your wellbeing.
What are people in a sexless relationship called? Are they roommates? Or even platonic lovers? For me and for many others; sex is the foundation of any relationship, but being the curious person that I am, finding an answer to this question seemed like a challenge I couldn't turn down. Thinking back to the early days of my relationship, going 3 days with no action between the sheets was virtually impossible, yet, many couples say putting a stop to love making saved them. This got me thinking and after reading more about sexual abstinence, it got me thinking about the benefits of giving the bed springs a break.
Have you decided to end your relationship, yet you want to do it in the kindest way possible? If you are in this situation, you must go about it in the right way, regardless of what's gone on or who is to blame. Breakups can be brutal, and you don't want to inflict pain and suffering on your partner, right? But you can't exactly let yourself be unhappy for much longer, either. Letting someone down gently is a tough balance to enact, and it involves asking yourself the right questions to make the separation as painless as possible. If you want to be able to walk away from your partner in the smoothest possible way, you're in the right place.
My longest relationship only lasted 2 years, which might not seem like a long time, but it's a big achievement for me because I can never usually get past the 6-month mark without becoming bored stiff. Even though my past relationship have always been healthy, they've never satisfied me, which lead me to wonder am I cursed with eternal dissatisfaction? Relationships never seem to excite me for long enough and always eventually fizzle out, leaving me wanting to head for the hills. Despite my past failures, I still believe in love and want to get to the bottom of why I give up on romance so easily.
Whether itās in friendship or love, betrayal is extremely painful, especially when it comes from people you trusted. Going through it can be very traumatic and can even lead you to wonder whether you'll ever truly heal and recover. With that in mind, many questions surface, including; how do you get over it when someone stabs you in the back? How do you rebuild yourself and learn to trust again? Here are 5 steps to overcome disloyalty, and who knows, they may even reinstall your hope in people.
Sometimes a relationship is a long quiet river, and sometimes it's a rocky disaster from start to finish. Although, when things hit a rough patch and donāt go the way we wanted them to, we might consider taking a break in order to smooth things out. The idea of taking a break was probably made famous in Friends with Ross and Rachelās tumultuous relationship, but is it actually the solution? Is taking time apart from the one your partner the secret to crossing your love crisis, or will it push you further apart?
Do you have an annoying habit of being constantly over the top just to get other people to notice you? Do you love being in the spotlight? If you've answered yes to the previous questions, you are definitely one of those people who live to attract the attention of others. At work, whilst out with friends or on social media, you no doubt always need to be front and center. And, even though this excessive behavior tends to harm you, you just canāt help yourself! This begs the question, where does this need come from? And, how can you rectify it before itās too late?
If youāre anything like me, youāre no doubt sick of being manipulated and humiliated by the narcissistic vampires that surround you. Enough is enough! The time has come for you to stand up for yourself! No matter who is making you feel bad about yourself; you need to flip the tables and take back the power. Psychological abuse has deep and lasting impacts, but turning the page and moving on is the healthiest thing any victim can do. Here are 9 essential tips on how you can defend yourself against a narcissistic pervert.
I always thought that I was surrounded by people who loved their jobs, that is until I started openly talking about my hate for mine. Letās get one thing straight, Iāve never liked work, but have only recently built up the courage to talk about my hatred of it. That's right, I used to hide my despair under a huge smile in an effort to convince myself I was overreacting, plus I was also afraid of other people judging me. In fact, daring to share my thoughts got me asking if I was the problem; was I the black sheep? Or, were my reasons for this bold statement justified? It's time to see if are all secretly on the same wavelength.
Is the gaze and approval of others essential for you? Are you incapable of saying no? Do you do everything you can to get yourself noticed? This excessive need to please may well be indicative of a profound uneasiness. Why do you need to feel validated by other people so much? And how can you free yourself from this oppressing tendency? We reveal everything you need to know for a more straightforward lifestyle.
Wanting things to go well is perfectly normal, but sometimes this need for perfection can represent a huge barrier in our lives. Do you have trouble not giving in to the temptation of micromanaging everything in your life? Does leaving things to chance make you nervous and put you on edge? Where does your need to control everything come from? Letting go and becoming more easygoing will change everything for you and help you start living your best life. Discover how to let loose and free yourself from this need.
Come on, let's not kid ourselves (for once), we all embellish the truth at certain points! Admit it, we'd be lying if we denied it! Whether you're one of those people who make up stories without even realizing it or whether you occasionally let slip a little white lie, weāre all guilty of fabrication. But, have you ever asked yourself what is it that makes you turn to dishonesty and why you feel better afterward for doing it? Letās check out the reasons together!
Shame, sadness, joy, fear or anger are all emotions that can provoke a crying fit. Although, what if someone told you that crying is good for your spirit and for your health too? Well, thatās the case, so don't be ashamed of your tears anymore because crying is actually good for you, so it's time to get out the tissues and let go of all your emotions.
Are you the type of person who constantly feels the need to apologize without having done anything wrong? Would you for example feel bad about being late to a meeting if your car broke down on the way? Do things that are totally out of your control make you feel terrible about yourself? We all perceive guilt differently, and some of us are far more susceptible to feeling culpable than others. We reveal where this tendency comes from and what you can do to learn to shake it off. It's time you freed yourself from these self-imposed shackles of guilt!
In this day and age, we are surrounded by sex, to the point where we literally can't escape it. Whether it be in commercials, magazines, movies or even successful books, it plays an important part of our lives. Yet, for the most part, itās not a subject that never comes up in our conversations. If we chat about it, we often feel like we are opening the door on our bedroom activities and offering our intimacy up to critical eyes. But why is this fascinating and widespread subject so shameful and taboo to talk about? Here are our explanations on why we have such a hard time chatting about one of our favorite leisure activities.
You know, the metaphor of the glass half full and half empty. Well, itās meant to determine our levels of optimism. If you consider that the glass is half empty, you're a pessimist, whereas if you view it as being half full, you are a natural optimist. I, unfortunately, fall into the first category of people and have a hard time looking on the bright side of life. No matter what life throws at me; good or bad, I can never seem to be upbeat about anything. But, that's not to say that all hope is lost, indeed there are many tips and techniques when it comes to being an idealist.
Friday night rolls around and after a hard week you were expecting to have a drink with a girlfriend, but she seems to have left you hanging on read... To make matters worse (and the humiliation?) you even saw the little typing sign appear, yet you never received a reply. Well, if thatās the case, obviously you or your "how about a drink tonight?" didnāt deserve an answer. Letās take a look at why some people don't reply to messages, and why when someone doesn't reply to your text, this makes us feel so bad.
I have never been disappointed with a slice of Nutella on toast, it's always there during both bad and good times in my life. To me, food is a sort of emotional outlet, a pleasing solution to my problems. Even if Iām not hungry, I canāt resist the urge to go and raid my cupboards to look for food. Is this due to my love for fine food and drink? Do certain foods act like a drug on me? Why does eating feel so good?
From serial killers, gruesome crime stories to horrific fiction there are certain seemingly twisted topics that we can't get enough of. Indeed, being confronted with horror and terror seems to excite our brains to the point of giving us goosebumps. Although it makes us feel uneasy and puts us on edge, many of us are totally obsessed. This dark universe draws us even the sweetest and most innocent amongst us in, but why does it have such a strong hold over us? Why do all things scary and terrifying fascinate us so much? Letās get some answers.
If being in a relationship with a narcissistic pervert is difficult, then itās even more so when you have decided to leave them. Indeed, these manipulative individuals are left with nothing when their victims leave them, which explains why theyāll go to any lengths to keep them under their control. If you have recently managed to break up with a narcissistic pervert, you canāt be sure that heāll get the message and leave you alone once and for all. So, how can you get over this breakup, and youāre your heart? And how can you stop thinking about your toxic ex?
Have you finally opened your eyes and realized that itās time you dumped your manipulative partner and walked away once and for all? If so, congratulations are in order, because one of the hardest parts of this process is recognizing that youāre in a toxic relationship with a narcissistic. The next step involves leaving them and not looking back; but how do you go about doing so? Especially when you are terrified by their excessive behavior. It may be tough, but itās time to free yourself from this dangerous relationship by following our advice on these delicate breakups.
Whether itās your boss, your partner, or even a family member; we are all very likely to come into contact with whatās known as a narcissistic at one point or another. Now, we hear so much about them and especially about how dangerous they can be for us, so how can we be prepared to avoid falling into a destructive spiral with one? Well, the best solution to avoid plunging into precarious territory with one, is knowing how to recognize their narcissistic characteristics. Indeed, all types of narcissists exhibit common behavioral traits and attitudes, so without further ado, letās explore them and learn to spot them.
Now, after years of taking active steps to move on and recover from this ordeal, Iāve finally found the strength to say that I was in an abusive relationship for over 2 years. Dating my abusive ex broke me for a certain period, but it always made me want to pick myself up and encouraged me to start living my life for myself. Youāve guessed it, being in a toxic relationship was both my downfall and my motivation for rising back up again. Despite feeling much stronger after turning the page on the manipulative behavior, being with my narcissistic ex has certainly changed me in just about every way possible, but getting to this point has been a journey.
As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldnāt they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesnāt bode well for a healthy sex life. Discover how they behave in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.
Even though we all grew up dreaming of the perfect Disney-esque romance, we no doubt all wholeheartedly agree that relationships certainly arenāt easy, yet they are made even tougher when a narcissistic partner is added to the mix. As someone who has previously dated a guy with a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), Iāve decided to share the 10 ultimate red flags and warning signs that your Prince Charming is actually more of a poisonous frog than anything else.
Narcissists often get bad press, and although many of us try to see the best in most people, in their case, it can be extremely difficult to find. The truth is, folks with this personality disorder donāt exactly have many redeeming qualities that could potentially help to excuse and explain their borderline evil behavior. Plus, when it comes to love, their lack of empathy means they have next to no loyalty, which means many of them often end up cheating on their partners. Ladies, if you are in a relationship with a narcissist, the alarm bells ought to be truly deafening.
Loneliness is one of societyās biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population. Now, lots of us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and strong-willed to feel lonely, however, the truth is they are often the biggest victims of this phenomenon, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner malaise.
Iāve always been very open with my dating history, so if youāve read some of my other articles, youāll probably already know that, none of my relationships have ever fulfilled me, or even made me feel good about myself. In fact, since dating my most recent partner, who was by the way a raging narcissist, Iāve decided that I need to take a break from love, and instead, spend more time on finding myself. How did I get to this point? Well, when I was with my ex, no matter how hard I tried, our love disintegrated, well at least for me, it did. I can now firmly say that all the tears, arguments, and pain have taught me that loving someone with narcissistic tendencies will only ever end in disaster, and Iām about to share why.
We hear lots of rumors about narcissists; about them having a gigantic sense of entitlement, a dangerous lack of empathy, and a grandiose sense of self-importance, but do we really know what they do to their victims? Are we really aware of how they go about inflicting so much pain and suffering? What is their modus operandi, and how do they obtain that all-important power and control? I want to make it my personal mission to open peopleās eyes to just how dangerous people with a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can beā¦
If reading up on narcissists terrifies you, you probably already realize how dangerous their toxic personalities can be. Although, that being said, Iām probably going to add to the list of reasons as to why you should be ultra wary of these abusers, by revealing who they prey on. One thing that can be said about narcissists is that they certainly arenāt predictable people! Plus, spoiler alert, they donāt necessarily always choose to emotionally abuse seemingly weak people, no, in fact, they often choose bigger fish to fry because they love a challenge. Discover the types of personalities they hone in on and why.
Now, I donāt want to make you paranoid, but the truth is that narcissists are everywhere, and thatās why itās so important to be able to spot them and their devious ways. So, with that in mind, why wouldn't there be a narcissist lurking in the office? Has that given you food for thought, and suddenly got your mind racing? Who is your number one suspect? Is it Jon; the guy who constantly hogs the photocopier, or perhaps even Emma; the backstabbing human resources manager? In any case, knowing how to identify these personalities is essential, so discover the 10 deplorable behavioral signs you need to look out for. Youāll never look at your coworkers in the same way again!
After a succession of dating disasters, I decided that it was time I took a step back to analyze the root of my consistent heartbreak. Being on the dating scene is tough, and meeting new people just isnāt as easy as they make it out to be. Although, that being said, meeting toxic monsters seems to be a lot less complicated, well at least for me, it seems that way, thatās right, I have a real talent for it. So, after deleting all of my apps and going on a dating hiatus for several months, I finally understand why I attract people with narcissistic personality disorders, who do nothing but break me down and subject me to narcissistic abuse.
If youāve ever had the pleasure or in this case displeasure to meet someone with narcissistic tendencies, youāll probably already have a firm opinion on the question above. Indeed, folks with this particular mental health condition lack empathy, have inflated egos, and can be extremely harmful to our mental health. The truth is, their toxic personality traits are so deeply ingrained in them, that embarking on the process of changing and becoming better people is an extremely difficult mission for them. Most experts would agree that in the majority of cases, it is in fact mission impossible, so without further ado, here is why change is so unlikely in people with NPD (narcissistic personality disorders).
"Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved."
- Gandhi
"Believe you can, and you're halfway there."
- Theodore Roosevelt
