As in all relationships, whether romantic or friendly, there are highs and lows. However, the definition of a toxic relationship is when the ups and downs are too frequent that we start to suffer the consequences of it. If you notice that your friend's behavior has changed, then it may be time to distance yourself.
10 Signs of a bad friend - If you recognize any of these, end the friendship
1. Your ‘friend’ is no longer interested in what's going on in your life
On the phone or during your outings, your pal only ever talks about themselves and no longer seems to care enough to ask you about your well-being. You no longer talk about your joys and heartbreaks together.
2. Your relationship is too opportunistic
Your previous BFF only gives a sign of life when they need a favor from you, you should move on. You are no longer a confidante, but a tool to help them achieve their goals.
>>> Check out: Help, I'm way too nice
3. You are no longer comfortable confiding in them
A true friend knows (almost) everything about your life and story. Normally, you accept the fact that you feel vulnerable when you talk to them about your worries. But if you feel more judged than supported and listened to, that's a bad sign.
4. You come second to everything else
They no longer take the time to see you and always has better things to do, so you find yourself as an afterthought when they have nothing else to do.
5. They no longer take the initiative
You are the only one who makes an effort to stay in touch. Calls, texts, invitations, if you don't make the first move then you’ll never see each other.
6. You learn everything about their life on social media
They no longer tell you anything personal, or rather they tell you the same thing as their 500 virtual friends. You feel like you've lost your privileged status...
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7. They demean and criticize you
Someone becomes toxic when they put you down. Normally this special person is supposed to be loyal, listen to you, comfort you and encourage you!
8. You are afraid to give them your opinion
Everything you tell them is for their own good, but they no longer understand that. On the contrary, every time they feel upset or offended, it always leads to an argument.
9. They see you as a rival
In their eyes, you're a threat, so they never stop comparing your respective lives. Work, apartment, dress size; in short, they are jealous and try to play down your success and achievements.
10. You feel like you are competing for their attention
They only talk about their other pals, of whom they draw a wonderful portrait. Funnily enough, they are kinder towards them, by praising their qualities. Everything they do makes you understand that the others are much better than you.
When should you let a friendship go? - 4 Scenarios
Our life is punctuated by encounters: ephemeral encounters, superficial friendships, but also sincere and deep friendships, and even childhood friendships. The latter are built on an unconscious pact of mutual aid, support, benevolent listening, and sharing of values built on common interests and affinities. If this pact can last over time, it can also break, because human nature is to evolve and reinvent itself. Life brings to everyone certain understandings of the world, and these may come to diverge.
- When the friend is always absent when you need their presence and their support. In those one-way friendships where you give as much as you can without reciprocating.
- When the friendship breaks down. Friendships are usually built on common interests and similar ideals. But in the course of life, these can change (differences of opinion, political ideas, lifestyles), and then it becomes difficult to succeed in sharing activities or ideas. Distance is then created and sometimes tensions and misunderstandings appear.
- When, for whatever reason, the presence of this friend becomes more toxic than their absence.
- When our needs change. It can happen that in our development, we radically change our perception of life and that we feel the need to change an environment that no longer suits us, which can include friends who once suited us, but with whom we no longer recognize ourselves.
How to rekindle a friendship that ended badly
Friendship is a source of happiness and health. Unfortunately, like all relationships, it can end for one reason or another, voluntarily or not. If this is the case, nothing prevents you from wanting to get back in touch one day. However, it is not so simple, and it is not a question of resuming the relationship as it was. It's also best not to pick up the relationship where it ended, with the same degree of intimacy. Indeed, you really need experience and time to build trust with another person, whether it's an old friend or a new friend. Therefore, you need to give things time, that's why it's better to reach out via text or email first because it gives the other person a chance to think. After all, everyone may have their reasons for not agreeing to reconnect; they may have a lot of friends, or they may be juggling work and personal issues.
Editor's note - The delicate task of breaking up with a friend
Ending a relationship is never easy. The best way to make a breakup as smooth as possible is through non-violent communication. There is no need to list the other person's flaws and mistakes, but it is better to be transparent. Talk about your feelings and say things simply with sincerity and honesty. Clarity and diplomacy will make it possible to end a friendship without triggering a war.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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