One Saturday morning, my phone rang out of the blue. It was Chris, my friend Lauren’s husband. He never calls me, so I thought this was odd, so I picked up the phone and launched an interrogative "hello". To my surprise, the only response I was greeted with were moans and groans. I smiled and laughed to myself, thinking that, I’d been pocket dialed whilst Lauren and Chris were making love. Although, I quickly realized that it was Saturday morning and every Saturday morning Lauren goes to her gym class. Something bad was going on…
While I always thought that as a couple, we should refrain from confessing to little relationship slip ups, now I find myself in a very uncomfortable position, with information I didn't want to have about someone close to me. What should I do about it?
When I found out by chance, I realized that I didn’t really know much about what was going on. Maybe it's just a one-time mistake. Maybe Lauren even knew about it, how was it to know? If I told my girlfriend, I risked destroying her life and relationship over something I wasn’t even 100% sure of. After thinking it over, I came to the decision that I just couldn’t tell her and ruin everything she’d spent so long building. She’d only end up hurt, humiliated and betrayed, and would probably end up hating me too in the process. This just seemed like a bad idea to me.
>>> Check out: Help, I'm way too nice
Here, what counts is our ability to keep a secret. We are guarantors of information we have been entrusted with, so we forget about allegiance and loyalty. Seeing as we find out by chance, there's no question of making our friend suffer because of something that isn’t really any of our business and that essentially risks ending our friendship. If the unfaithful person has implicated us in the drama, it is with them that we must try to settle things. Why not insist that he confess everything to his partner? After all, he seems to want to confide, so perhaps there’s a chance that things could work out. Infidelity is easier to deal with in the private bubble of the couple, because it induces a feeling of shame, and the more people who know about it, the greater that feeling of shame grows.
>>> Is cheating inevitable in a relationship?
Breaking this horrible news to anyone is never an easy feat, especially when it’s to one of your good friends. However, if you find out that your friend’s partner is being unfaithful, you owe it to them to come forward and share what you know. After all, keeping them in the dark would be a huge betrayal too. Now, it’s obviously not easy to tell your friend that their partner is a love rat, but you need to keep in mind that she needs to be aware of what’s going on in order to make the best decisions for her future. Here are some tips on how to let her know in the gentlest way possible.
Staying friends with your ex is an understandable wish, but it is better not to hold on to and brood over your resentment, as it can damage the friendship. If during the previous relationship, there are gray areas, such as cheating, and misunderstood actions that need to be clarified or brought up, it is better to discuss them. Certain rules must also be taken into account and respected when making this decision. If you realize that you can't move forward, if the friendship bothers one of you, if one of you is hurt, and you still have hope, if you have the desire, if there is still some ambiguity during the friendship, if the emotion is too intense, then you have to recognize that the new relationship will be complicated.
On the other hand, some stories that started with a friendship have turned into a love story, and unfortunately, it may be that the new partners realize that the previous relationship was preferable. Getting into a relationship with a friend has always been considered risky. That's why many people prefer not to try: they are afraid of losing someone who is important to them.
Editor's note – Every situation is uniqueTelling a friend that her man is cheating on her is to interfere in her relationship and take the risk of losing her. However, in the end, there is not really a universal rule and instruction manual about what to do in this situation. Basically, it all depends on your relationship. The one you have with your friend (do you usually confide in each other?) and the one you have with her partner. Are you that close to him? Has he ever cheated on her in the past? In any case, when faced with this situation you will always have to weigh up the pros and cons before making your choice and remember that the most important thing is not to ease your conscience because keeping a secret like this will never make you a bad friend! 🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now! #BornToBeMe |
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A little belittling remark here, minimizing our emotions there... So many little things that show us that we’re being psychologically abused. It may seem trivial, but that’s the problem. We downplay it too much, which makes it the most common type of abuse. So, how do you identify psychological abuse? What should you do if you’re a victim? Let’s explain.
I suffer from an eating disorder, and several people around me have a mood disorder. I’m not completely unfamiliar with behavioral disorders, or at least not these. However, there are several types of disorders and they can even affect sexual behavior. So how do you define them? Here’s a list and some definitions related to behavioral disorders.
We are all unique individuals, and we, therefore, go about handling breakups and the other obstacles life throws our way, differently. Now, when it comes to breakups, there are those of us that almost become celibate and decide that they can't stand the idea of getting to know anyone ever again. Then, on the other hand, there are those that fill their phones with dating apps and jump from one one-night stand to the next. This second scenario may seem harmless, but once we dig a little deeper into the repercussions of it, we soon realize that sleeping with other people so freshly out of a relationship masks troubling sentiments of unhappiness and uneasiness.
Ever since I was a child, I’ve felt like I do things according to others. My choices and my behavior have long been dictated by the approval of others. As I’ve got older, I’ve learned to assert myself and detach myself from what others might think of my actions. Why do we constantly seek this validation, and how can we get rid of this need for recognition when it becomes toxic? Having been there myself, I’ll explain it all to you!
You were well on your way. You were holding on, motivated by the idea of finally having a bikini body this year. But then the lockdowns and the laziness all hit you at once... That’s right, your cellulite is still there and not ready to leave just yet. But guess what?! Cellulite is like a little pimple, either we own it, or we resort to using tricks to camouflage it.
Work has always been a synonym of repression for me because it takes up so much of our precious time. Let’s be honest, a 9-5 job with a horrendous daily commute often means that work is sadly our sole occupation. So, when the Covid-19 pandemic struck over a year ago, and we were all ordered to stay home, I found it hard to hide my joy in front of my distraught coworkers; although thankfully my acting talents saved me. You can probably already tell, but going into the office every day was nothing less than torture for me. Yet, all these months later, I’ve realized that I despise working from home and would do anything to sit in my uncomfortable office chair once again!
Today, I’m focussing on a habit that drives me crazy: wanting to have the last word. It’s probably because I’m not very good at comebacks or self-confident enough that I’m both fascinated and annoyed by people who always want to be right. But why do they always want to have the last word? What’s behind it?
In general, thumb sucking ends around the age of 6. I say “in general” and not “normally”, because as an adult I don’t feel weird or particularly bothered by it. When I get stressed, I allow myself to let go and return to my childhood self by sucking my thumb. Those who know about it or catch me by surprise make me realize I should be ashamed… But is this habit a big deal? What if it makes me feel better? It’s certainly no worse than lighting up a cigarette or biting your nails…
There are people who don’t like to be touched at all, and who are almost disgusted by physical contact. There are people who like to caress and be caressed for anything and everything, and there are people like me who always recoil when someone tries to touch them. Why do I shy away from physical contact? What if it’s all linked to the past?
Narcissists definitely move with the times, which is why many of them constantly troll dating sites for new victims. Chatting with a manipulator of this magnitude can be a rollercoaster experience, with dizzying heights that might lead you to believe you are in love, to gut-wrenching lows which will make you question your worth. For any raving narcissist, text message exchanges are a great way to reel in victims and follow through with their master plans for ultimate control over them. Are you texting someone you suspect to be a narcissist? The examples below could confirm your suspicions.
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
- Oscar Wilde
