As Covid limits our social exchanges, more and more of us feel alone. But beware, feeling alone doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the reality. You may just be caught up in a negative spiral that makes you think others don’t want you, aren’t interested in you or simply don’t like you.
First of all, it is important to distinguish different situations:
- You feel alone, this is mainly a feeling, an emotion, a sensation
- You are lacking social connections, you are isolated on a relationship level for various reasons
- You live alone within your 4 walls. This is residential solitude
It’s important to identify the source of your loneliness first. Identifying it, putting it into words will help you overcome it.
8 Things I do when I feel alone and isolated - These tips really help
1. I try to reconnect with myself
When I think about it, this emptiness, I feel it deep inside of me. Trying to fill it by going out shopping or by attending events that seem to give me a social life is like putting a bandaid on a hemorrhage. It’s better to stitch up the inside so I forget about all these superficial strategies and reconnect with my deepest identity. Sometimes the fear of solitude is linked to the fear of being alone with ourselves, this interiority that we don’t always know very well. Hence the importance of taking the time to take stock of our situation.
2. I learn to love myself…
What if love could fill this void? A sincere and powerful relationship… like the one I should have for myself before thinking about the love of others. I have to get to know myself, to become aware of my qualities and my tastes, it’s the best way to regain self-confidence, satisfy my desires and appreciate solitude if it should last.
3. And appreciate solitude
Too often I see it as an imprisonment even though it could be real freedom. Lots of people complain about not having the time to do what they want or that they are blocked by their close ones. On my own, I can devote myself to me and my hobbies, which makes my condition an ally.
4. I awaken my creativity
Reading, cooking, creative hobbies or whatever… On this planet, there is an activity that’s made for me! Taking time for myself and investing in a hobby will keep me busy. And transforming this negative feeling into productivity will make me proud.
It’s also by doing certain activities that you can meet people. If that doesn’t happen, I will still enjoy keeping myself busy. Either way, I’m a winner!
5. I feel grateful for what I have
Because this emotion allows me to be thankful for life and realize that it can also be pleasant. Keeping a gratitude diary and writing down everything that is going well will help me to realize that happiness is already there and is hidden in the details. I, who thought I was transparent, recall that moment when my colleague noticed my new glasses. That’s how, little by little, the void will be filled.
6. I don’t feel guilty and I listen to my needs
Despite appearances, nobody has a perfect life. Under no circumstances should I feel guilty about feeling this void. It’s normal and even happens to the best of us! An emotion is always real, you must accept it and listen to its message. In reality, by sending me these signals, my conscience is trying to send me a message; there is something in my life that doesn’t suit me. So it’s time to look introspectively to define my future strategy for happiness.
Desires buried inside me for too long want to awaken… It’s not by closing my eyes or by running that I will help them.
7. I take stock of my relationships
At the end of the day, why do I feel lonely? Because of a lack of acquaintances? Is it related to the distance with some lost friends? Or am I just surrounded by toxic people and relationships that make me feel misunderstood? After identifying what’s wrong, I can call certain people back and exclude others.
8. I might even adopt a pet
Because these little balls of fluff have a lot of love to give. By welcoming a faithful companion into my life, my feeling of loneliness will dissipate because someone is waiting for me at home, even if it is furry and has four legs!
The editor's opinion – You have to reconnect with yourself and with others
“It doesn’t matter whether isolation is real or not,” explains psychologist Laurie Hawkes. “It’s how we experience it that causes suffering or not.” The blame should therefore be placed on our culture and its ideals of sociability. Our generation has access to plenty of means of staying connected to others: telephone, Internet, or even fast travel. But these new tools reinforce the feeling of solitude… Moments alone are devalued and even perceived as distress.
The solution would first be to reconnect with yourself. Perhaps we are not afraid of solitude, but an inner self that we don’t know. Hence the importance of getting to know ourselves better by questioning our fears, beliefs, desires and needs. Then we should reinvest in our relationships. Many of us complain about superficial connections. We would feel much less lonely if we got involved. Giving time and interest, creating memories… It’s a question of giving meaning and value to human relationships.
Check out some more great articles: