Holding yourself accountable for the mistakes you’ve made, and the people you’ve hurt definitely requires strong inner strength, that unfortunately not all of us are blessed with. The sad thing is that no matter what happens in life, certain people will never attempt to put things right, or make amends. If you know someone who is completely incapable of making a mea culpa and who is completely unconcerned by the prospects of making things right, it’s time for you to consider whether they have narcissistic traits.
>>> Discover 6 things we should stop apologizing for
Narcissists don’t apologize because…
The 6 explanations below will give you some extra insights into their bad behavior!
1) They lack empathy
The truth is, narcissists find it impossible to put themselves in other people’s shoes, and therefore fail to understand how intense and hurtful emotions can actually be. Plus, they are simply clueless when it comes to being sympathetic and comforting, so, if you are friends with one, you probably shouldn’t go to them for support after a breakup, for example.
2) They believe that ignorance equals bliss
When they choose to ignore their victim’s pain, they can therefore wash their hands of all responsibility, and simply act like nothing has happened. In their minds, failing to acknowledge their wrongdoings helps legitimize their behavior and subsequent choices.
3) They believe that time makes you forget
Because they believe themselves to be superior beings in every sense of the word, narcissists actually think that people are so weak in the face of their manipulation, that they will forget their wickedness.
4) They project the fault onto others
You’ve no doubt already figured it out, but these folks always remain completely in denial with regard to accountability and instead opt to blame their victims when trouble arises. That’s right, gaslighting is definitely one of their not-so-secret weapons.
5) They don’t believe people deserve their time
Why on earth would they waste their time trying to apologize to people who they consider as being below them?
6) They have every intention of repeating their behavior
Now, this is probably the most hard-hitting reason of all, and confirms the cycle of toxicity. Despite their promises to change, people with this personality disorder can never fully put a stop to their inherent desires to hurt and control others.
Do narcissists admit they are wrong?
A narcissist will never admit to wrongdoing, whether that be in a relationship or in a friendship setting, they will never ask for forgiveness for the mistakes they have made. He or she will never admit to wrongdoing and will not try to make amends. The reason for this attitude lies in their egocentric and domineering nature, which does not include the slightest bit of compassion and empathy. Besides, the fact that a narcissist is simply too proud to admit being in the wrong, his overinflated ego makes him deny any wrongdoing, plus his low self-esteem puts him in a constant battle to look good in the eyes of others.
How do you make a narcissist say sorry? - Be firm and patient
Narcissists tend to be impulsive with their reactions and certainly don’t like being pressured into doing things. Plus, they certainly don’t like the idea of being threatened either, so if you want an apology from one, you must bide your time. Here, there’s no use in trying to back them into a corner because they’ll simply lash out at the idea of them losing control over the situation. In any case, letting them know exactly what you feel and expect is important, however, your efforts definitely need to be measured.
When narcissists know they are in the wrong and that you won’t back down, they’ll try to overwhelm you and get you to move on, in an attempt to avoid taking responsibility. Narcissists are adept at turning certain situations around to make it seem like the other person is to blame. They pretend to be victims, they twist their words and do everything they can to make you think they did nothing wrong. Next, if you notice a narcissist trying to change the subject to disagree, refocus the conversation on the main point. He probably won't admit his mistake, but he'll know he can't manipulate you so easily anymore.
Editor’s opinion - Not apologizing gives them power
The bottom line is that narcissists are constantly on the lookout for ways to keep the upper hand, and overtly refusing to say sorry even when they know they’ve done something wrong is a perfect example of the lengths they’ll go to. It’s also a way for them to prevent you from moving on, and more importantly to stunt the healing process.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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Good article. Western society female narcissism and BPD is prevalent over male. Female mental health issues and mistakes are covered and defended by State on a fake basis that women are mothers, oppressed, weak sex, wage gap etc. As a medical professional of 23 years in Europe as well as 22 years in the United States, there is a clear attempt to minimize diagnose criteria in women compared to men in US.