Holding yourself accountable for the mistakes you’ve made, and the people you’ve hurt definitely requires strong inner strength, that unfortunately not all of us are blessed with. The sad thing is that no matter what happens in life, certain people will never attempt to put things right, or make amends. If you know someone who is completely incapable of making a mea culpa and who is completely unconcerned by the prospects of making things right, it’s time for you to consider whether they have narcissistic traits.
>>> Discover 6 things we should stop apologizing for
Why don't narcissists never apologize - 6 Reasons why 😥…
The 6 explanations below will give you some extra insights into their bad behavior!
1) They lack empathy
The truth is, narcissists find it impossible to put themselves in other people’s shoes, and therefore fail to understand how intense and hurtful emotions can actually be. Plus, they are simply clueless when it comes to being sympathetic and comforting, so, if you are friends with one, you probably shouldn’t go to them for support after a breakup, for example. In short, their own feelings are too intense that they can never really afford to feel bad for anyone else.
2) They believe that ignorance equals bliss
When they choose to ignore their victim’s pain, they can therefore wash their hands of all responsibility, and simply act like nothing has happened. In their minds, failing to acknowledge their wrongdoings helps legitimize their behavior and subsequent choices. For them, turning a blind eye to what's going on means that they are virtually off the hook and therefore unconcerned with anything.
3) They believe that time makes you forget
Because they believe themselves to be superior beings in every sense of the word, narcissists actually think that people are so weak in the face of their manipulation, that they will forget their wickedness. They underestimate their victims so much that they truly believe they can get away scot-free with anything. After all, they aren't exactly used to facing the consequences of their actions.
>>> Read; What it means to have a superiority complex
4) They project the fault onto others
You have no doubt already figured it out, but these folks always remain completely in denial with regard to accountability and instead opt to blame their victims when trouble arises. That’s right, gaslighting is definitely one of their not-so-secret weapons. These slippery snakes completely wash their hands of their actions and pretend to be oblivious to the hurt and pain they cause people around them.
5) They don’t believe people deserve their time
Why on earth would they waste their time trying to apologize to people who they consider as being below them? This may seem like the ultimate blow, however, it really is true. These abusers have zero empathy for those they hurt and consider themselves as being above everyone. So, the question is, why would they care to give anyone their precious time in the first place?
6) They have every intention of repeating their behavior
Now, this is probably the most hard-hitting reason of all, and confirms the cycle of toxicity. Despite their promises to change, people with this personality disorder can never fully put a stop to their inherent desires to hurt and control others. The vicious circle will always continue here because these people are incapable of breaking it and doing anything different. Plus, they often struggle to see what they do as being wrong...
💡Practical tip time💡 Self-care strategies to prioritize your mental health when you are with a narcissist
- Break out of isolation
To break the hold on you, it's important and necessary to come out of isolation so that you can find outside resources and be supported in your emancipation process. Being understood and supported in the process of becoming aware of, questioning and ultimately breaking the toxic relationship with a narcissistic pervert, will enable you to move forward at your own pace, with the conviction that you are on the right path. - Transform yourself
With support, you'll finally be able to start the process of change. The priority is to protect yourself from the toxic relationship by separating yourself from the narcissistic pervert. That's why it's so important to have the right support. It's rarely easy to separate, especially when the relationship is based on dependency. That's why you need support to strengthen your decision, and to take action to get out of the grip for good.
How do you make a narcissist feel sorry for their actions? - Be firm and patient
Narcissists tend to be impulsive with their reactions and certainly don’t like being pressured into doing things. Plus, they certainly don’t like the idea of being threatened either, so if you want an apology from one, you must bide your time. Here, there’s no use in trying to back them into a corner because they’ll simply lash out at the idea of them losing control over the situation. In any case, letting them know exactly what you feel and expect is important, however, your efforts definitely need to be measured.
When narcissists know they are in the wrong and that you won’t back down, they’ll try to overwhelm you and get you to move on, in an attempt to avoid taking responsibility. Narcissists are adept at turning certain situations around to make it seem like the other person is to blame. They pretend to be victims, they twist their words and do everything they can to make you think they did nothing wrong. Next, if you notice a narcissist trying to change the subject to disagree, refocus the conversation on the main point. He probably won't admit his mistake, but he'll know he can't manipulate you so easily anymore.
Do narcissists admit they are wrong?
Narcissists rarely admit they are wrong due to their deep-seated need to protect their fragile self-esteem and maintain an image of perfection. Admitting fault or acknowledging mistakes threatens their carefully constructed sense of superiority and invulnerability. When faced with undeniable evidence of their wrongdoing, they might employ various defense mechanisms such as deflection, blaming others, minimizing the significance of the error, or even rewriting the narrative to make themselves appear as the victim or the misunderstood hero. On the rare occasions when they do admit to being wrong, it is often a calculated move to serve a greater manipulative purpose, such as regaining trust, avoiding consequences, or reinforcing their control over a situation or person.
💡 FAQ: Do narcissists apologize for cheating? 💡
Narcissists rarely offer genuine apologies for cheating. If they do apologize, it is often insincere and serves their own interests rather than reflecting true remorse. Here are some typical behaviors:
- Deflecting Blame: They might shift the blame onto their partner, suggesting the cheating occurred because their needs were not being met, thereby avoiding personal responsibility.
- Minimizing the Act: A narcissist might downplay the significance of the cheating, suggesting it wasn't a big deal or that their partner is overreacting.
- Manipulative Apologies: When they do apologize, it may be superficial, designed to manipulate their partner into forgiving them quickly without addressing the underlying issues.
- Gaslighting: They might deny the cheating or suggest that their partner's suspicions are unfounded, making the partner doubt their own perceptions and feelings.
- False Promises: They may make promises to change or to never cheat again, but these promises are often empty and made only to regain control or avoid consequences.
Overall, narcissists' apologies for cheating are typically more about maintaining their own image and control rather than expressing genuine regret or a desire to make amends.
>>> Read; How do you know a narcissist is cheating?
Editor’s opinion - Not apologizing gives them powerThe bottom line is that narcissists are constantly on the lookout for ways to keep the upper hand, and overtly refusing to say sorry even when they know they’ve done something wrong is a perfect example of the lengths they’ll go to. It’s also a way for them to prevent you from moving on, and more importantly to stunt the healing process.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
#BornToBeMe Connect with an advisor |
Be sure to check out these articles too;
I have been married 37 years and I made many mistakes and apologized hundreds of times. I can count on one hand where my wife apologized and always "what about". I take responsibility for a failed marriage but she will never do the same.
Frank a year ago