Are Narcissists Insecure? Yes, Of Course They Are, And Here Are 10 Reasons Why

Although narcissists would like us to buy into their grandiose personalities and unshakable confidence, in reality, these folks doubt themselves at every twist and turn. Their inner turmoil is so great that they believe they have to compensate for it, by putting on an act of strength and insensitivity. Indeed, these individuals go to extreme lengths to preserve their insecurities and to hide their truths from people who they believe are susceptible to judge them for what they believe are shortcomings.

10 Examples that prove narcissists are insecure

And just like that, the facade slipped away...

1) They feel wholly inadequate

The unfortunate truth is that they never feel good enough in anything they do. Whether it is in their professional life or in their relationships, they never consider themselves to be up to the standard that people expect of them, which explains why they often lie and form an inflated sense of self around them. For fear of being judged and looked down upon, they’ll never admit that they are in a dead end job that they hate, and are definitely more likely to pretend that they are in the running to become CEO rather than accept the truth!

2) They often experience tough childhoods

As we all know by now, our formative years take place when we are very young and when it comes to our personalities, we are a product of our environment. Low levels of self-esteem are therefore concretized during our childhood and adolescence. In the particular case of a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) the individual was more than likely constantly told that they were insufficient and useless by their family members and parents when they were a child. Now, their tough upbringings don’t excuse their present behavior, but it does go a long way in explaining why they act so deviously as adults.

>>> Find out whether narcissists are born or raised

3) They are anxious about their relationships

Relationships, both professional and romantic, are like labyrinths for narcissists, because they simply don’t know how to approach them. Plus, when they feel themselves getting in too deep, they panic and want to run without actually thinking anything through, which gets them into more trouble and anguish. It has to be said that their relationships are always toxic as well as demonstrations of vicious cycles which lead them to intense destruction. The bottom line is, a relationship with a narcissist will never end well...

4) They always view other people in a negative light

Now, because they are so insecure and unwilling to get to know people for whom they really are, their narcissistic traits mean that they are hugely judgmental. They have such reservations that people have poor intentions towards them, largely because of what they see on social media, that they build walls up around themselves and refuse to truly let others in. Their hearts are well as truly closed, which would explain why none of their relationships are pure.

5) They are incapable of dealing with their true emotions

In the eyes of a narcissist, emotions are synonymous with weakness and risk, making them vulnerable. Their tough upbringings often mean they have never really received much love, affection or guidance and are therefore unable as adults to express their feelings. Plus, they believe that they need to appear strong in order for the people in their life to respect them. After all, what could be worse than not feeling respected and admired?

6) They want to conceal their pain

Years of poor treatment, abuse and insults have lead to them building a fort around them as a way to protect themselves for disappointments and betrayals. Although it may not seem like it, deep down these folks are suffering and calling out for someone to take them into their arms and listen to them. The real problem here is that their pain is so deep-rooted and unaddressed that instead of making them empathic to the suffering of others, it does the complete opposite.

7) They have high levels of stress and anxiety

Let’s not beat around the bush here, individuals with this personality disorder have very poor mental health, simply because they are unaware of how to deal with their emotions and too proud to ask for help. Their stress and anxiety accompany them everywhere, yet they are never addressed and instead simply swept under the rug, due to the fact that they refuse to appear as troubled.

>>> Discover the 5 main symptoms of anxiety

8) They are perfectionists, but never satisfied

Narcissists are experts in hiding behind a facade and have learned to perfect their act over the years, and this means that they expect the best of everyone else too. They simply don’t have time for errors or excuses, they demand that everything and everyone meet their requirements, otherwise all hell will break loose. Now, the trouble with having such high expectations is that no one can ever meet them, which provokes a spiral of rage within these folks.

9) If they could, they’d spend much of their time alone

If truth be told, NPD sufferers wouldn’t bother socializing or associating themselves with others if they didn’t believe their entourage could help further them along. Narcissists see socializing and making friends as a complete waste of time, and will only ever make an effort to get along with people whom they believe could help them in some form or another.

10) They are completely unable to trust

That’s right, trust is virtually a foreign word to them and unfortunately when they try to look it up, Google Translate just doesn’t come up with the goods. These individuals are convinced that everyone is out to get them, which is why they need to be more cunning than the rest. Their negative views are what prevents them from finding happiness and establishing genuine connections.

Are narcissists aware of their insecurities?

Narcissism classically refers to self-love and is normally part of the psychic construction process of individuals. So much so, that psychologists believe that low self-esteem is the main cause of this personality disorder. That’s right, narcissism is underpinned by a lack of self-confidence, however, folks with this personality disorder seem unable to accept this so-called flaw. Indeed, instead of recognizing and acknowledging their lack of confidence, they act out and inflict their frustration on other people.

Narcissists are acutely aware that they lack in self-esteem, but aren’t motivated enough to work on themselves to improve it. They are plagued with insecurities; from their looks, their professional success, (or lack of it), to their relationship history. However, these personalities simply aren’t equipped with the tools necessary to address the issues in question and prefer to repress their insecurities and act like they don’t exist.

In conclusion, yes, of course they are aware that they suffer from a severe lack of confidence in all areas of their life, however, they'll never willingly change this. Therefore, they'll continue on the road to frustration, and will destroy those they are jealous of.

Can a narcissist be a good person?

A narcissist is a person who often lacks a lot of self-confidence. They are people who most of the time have unresolved emotional wounds. These unresolved emotional wounds will cause the manipulative person to have an excessive need to control situations, and to achieve this they are usually tempted to control situations through the control of the emotional relationship. With these scary traits in mind, narcissists simply can’t be classed as good people. The emotionally manipulative narcissist plays on emotions and feelings such as empathy, guilt, friendship, or love, while at the same time they are always playing a game of emotional strategist, or in dominant-dominated relationships, and therefore painting themselves out to be upstanding citizens.

Be sure to check out these articles too;

• What are a narcissist's weaknesses?
• Are narcissists aware of what they do?
• Are narcissists attracted to each other?