Are Narcissists Insecure? Yes, Of Course They Are, And Here Are 10 Reasons Why

Last updated by Katie M.

There is no denying that narcissistic personalities display some deeply worrying and disturbing traits, but what if these devious traits were just a means of protection? What if they were in fact a complete facade, fabricated to keep people away, in the hope of hiding their deepest darkest insecurities? After all, everyone has weak spots, even the most confident and put together of people, so why wouldn’t a narcissist deal with the same niggling doubts as everyone else? It's time we got to the bottom of this and discovered why these folks are so insecure.

Are Narcissists Insecure? Yes, Of Course They Are, And Here Are 10 Reasons Why
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Although narcissists would like us to buy into their grandiose personalities and unshakable confidence, in reality, these folks doubt themselves at every twist and turn. Their inner turmoil is so great that they believe they have to compensate for it, by putting on an act of strength and insensitivity. Indeed, these individuals go to extreme lengths to preserve their insecurities and to hide their truths from people who they believe are susceptible to judge them for what they believe are shortcomings.

10 Examples that prove narcissists are insecure

And just like that, the facade slipped away...

1) They feel wholly inadequate

The unfortunate truth is that they never feel good enough in anything they do. Whether it is in their professional life or in their relationships, they never consider themselves to be up to the standard that people expect of them, which explains why they often lie and form an inflated sense of self around them. For fear of being judged and looked down upon, they’ll never admit that they are in a dead end job that they hate, and are definitely more likely to pretend that they are in the running to become CEO rather than accept the truth!

2) They often experience tough childhoods

As we all know by now, our formative years take place when we are very young and when it comes to our personalities, we are a product of our environment. Low levels of self-esteem are therefore concretized during our childhood and adolescence. In the particular case of a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) the individual was more than likely constantly told that they were insufficient and useless by their family members and parents when they were a child. Now, their tough upbringings don’t excuse their present behavior, but it does go a long way in explaining why they act so deviously as adults.

>>> Find out whether narcissists are born or raised

3) They are anxious about their relationships

Relationships, both professional and romantic, are like labyrinths for narcissists, because they simply don’t know how to approach them. Plus, when they feel themselves getting in too deep, they panic and want to run without actually thinking anything through, which gets them into more trouble and anguish. It has to be said that their relationships are always toxic as well as demonstrations of vicious cycles which lead them to intense destruction. The bottom line is, a relationship with a narcissist will never end well...

4) They always view other people in a negative light

Now, because they are so insecure and unwilling to get to know people for whom they really are, their narcissistic traits mean that they are hugely judgmental. They have such reservations that people have poor intentions towards them, largely because of what they see on social media, that they build walls up around themselves and refuse to truly let others in. Their hearts are well as truly closed, which would explain why none of their relationships are pure.

5) They are incapable of dealing with their true emotions

In the eyes of a narcissist, emotions are synonymous with weakness and risk, making them vulnerable. Their tough upbringings often mean they have never really received much love, affection or guidance and are therefore unable as adults to express their feelings. Plus, they believe that they need to appear strong in order for the people in their life to respect them. After all, what could be worse than not feeling respected and admired?

6) They want to conceal their pain

Years of poor treatment, abuse and insults have lead to them building a fort around them as a way to protect themselves for disappointments and betrayals. Although it may not seem like it, deep down these folks are suffering and calling out for someone to take them into their arms and listen to them. The real problem here is that their pain is so deep-rooted and unaddressed that instead of making them empathic to the suffering of others, it does the complete opposite.

7) They have high levels of stress and anxiety

Let’s not beat around the bush here, individuals with this personality disorder have very poor mental health, simply because they are unaware of how to deal with their emotions and too proud to ask for help. Their stress and anxiety accompany them everywhere, yet they are never addressed and instead simply swept under the rug, due to the fact that they refuse to appear as troubled.

>>> Discover the 5 main symptoms of anxiety

8) They are perfectionists, but never satisfied

Narcissists are experts in hiding behind a facade and have learned to perfect their act over the years, and this means that they expect the best of everyone else too. They simply don’t have time for errors or excuses, they demand that everything and everyone meet their requirements, otherwise all hell will break loose. Now, the trouble with having such high expectations is that no one can ever meet them, which provokes a spiral of rage within these folks.

9) If they could, they’d spend much of their time alone

If truth be told, NPD sufferers wouldn’t bother socializing or associating themselves with others if they didn’t believe their entourage could help further them along. Narcissists see socializing and making friends as a complete waste of time, and will only ever make an effort to get along with people whom they believe could help them in some form or another.

10) They are completely unable to trust

That’s right, trust is virtually a foreign word to them and unfortunately when they try to look it up, Google Translate just doesn’t come up with the goods. These individuals are convinced that everyone is out to get them, which is why they need to be more cunning than the rest. Their negative views are what prevents them from finding happiness and establishing genuine connections.

Can a narcissist be a good person?

A narcissist is a person who often lacks a lot of self-confidence. They are people who most of the time have unresolved emotional wounds. These unresolved emotional wounds will cause the manipulative person to have an excessive need to control situations, and to achieve this they are usually tempted to control situations through the control of the emotional relationship. With these scary traits in mind, narcissists simply can’t be classed as good people. The emotionally manipulative narcissist plays on emotions and feelings such as empathy, guilt, friendship, or love, while at the same time they are always playing a game of emotional strategist, or in dominant-dominated relationships, and therefore painting themselves out to be upstanding citizens.

Editor’s opinion - They create a persona to hide behind

No one like to fess up to the shortcomings and weaknesses, but narcissists take their denial to the next level and often form a strong persona to hide behind, in order to conceal their suffering. Now, if we are honest, many of us run from what we deem as character failures, however, in this case, choosing to remain completely oblivious to them can become dangerous and lead to even more pain. Recognizing our insecurities isn’t an easy feat, but it is key in ensuring that other people aren’t put in danger because of them.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

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Article presented by Katie M.

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Comments

My wife i believe is a narcissist; very weak and meek with outsiders but Despises me when she doesn't get her way in almost most cases, and i realize, I have given in to her demands most often. she somehow concocts facts that relieve her of any tort; often she does lie. this article i have read is a real eye-opener that should help victims of narcissistic abusers see the light of day.

They are easy to spot, 1. They come 1st 2. They have zero empathy 3. They love themselves 4. They see themselves as superior to everyone 5. They manipulate the situation 6. They often belittle 7. They rewrite history 8. They are great actor's / actress's Underneath the whole façade is a person that is actually dealing with a major mental health issue.

God yes,,, they need their fiction to survive

They always spring their trap and show the true colors when you need them the most.. it’s part of the whole process.. I just want to remember feeling normal or even just not broken and utterly betrayed, used, discarded.. I feel so violated and hurt all the time, it’s been so long and there’s still days I feel like she just left and relive all the manipulation and emotional torture… I don’t feel like myself anymore, I’m so sad and scared all the time I can barely function. It’s hard to talk about or want to or explain it anymore. I wish I could move on but I’m always trapped by the pain of how she treated me. Now it’s been so long and people need me and I can’t even support them probably. I can barely function like an adult I cried last time I tried to cook for myself, I feel so used and stupid for ever believing all the lies and cards and promises. I wish I could have a companion again, I don’t know if I ever want another relationship after this. But I spent so long with my ex everyday together, I miss the feeling of another person and I wanted to share my life with her forever.. she promised in every way to never do what she did and even that was worse than I ever possibly imagined. She never cared about me, thought of me as less than a person and stole a piece of me I needed to live probably, she turned me into her! I have an eating disorder now, panic attack’s, I don’t leave the house anymore or work I had a promising future and career I earned that too, and now I can’t even think about these things without getting tears in my eyes or drive to places I like without feeling like I should give up and anything is better than feeling so depressed and worthless and used.. sorry I wish I could end on a positive note… I have improved a lot, but knowing she moved on before I even knew what hit me and having to face all these deaths in my family and not being able to help financially, emotionally, I feel like a burden but I help them all and they count on me, I want them all to disappear secretly so I can leave this world and not have to hurt anyone but I will never do that to them and I know I can want more for me, I just never thought I’d have to live like this again after growing so much only to have it stolen by the sweet girl next door who said I was her everything.. blah

It’s sickening, the depths they’ll sink and the lies they live with… they are master manipulators, everything is a lie with them they fake their personality try to appeal to the deepest parts of you only to break them for some sick sense of control and power over another person..

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