7 Ways Narcissism Affects Your Friendships

Last updated by Katie M.

Whenever narcissism infiltrates any aspect of our lives, things become toxic and the dynamics instantly change. When such devious tendencies haunt our friendships, things take a turn for the worst and can even become dangerous for our self-esteem and mental health. Now, whether you are friends with a narcissist or you yourself display signs of this personality disorder, you’ll no doubt agree that this condition strains friendships to the point of completely breaking them down.

7 Ways Narcissism Affects Your Friendships
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Narcissistic traits tinge every sort of relationship with underlying toxicity that simply can’t be ignored. Although, folks with this condition like to make people believe that they have plenty of friends and a huge entourage, the reality is starkly different. Not being genuine and using underhand tactics to remain in control are just some reasons why narcissists are lonely and fail to maintain long-term friendships. Now, I’m not saying they are total social pariahs, but they do go through pals as fast as a flash, and never really have a solid core of people they can rely on. I guess the sad truth is that as soon as something, or in this case someone better comes along, they cast people to one side and move on.

How narcissism affects your friendships

Here’s how it grinds amicable relationships to a complete halt.

1) It pushes your friends away

This particular personality disorder means that sufferers hide behind a facade in a shallow attempt to present to the world the person they wish they were. This obviously implies that the confidence they claim to have is simply just an act that they use to hide their scars and past disappointments. After all, no one can really expect to have good and reliable friends when they never accept to lower their walls and let people in.

2) People’s patience will wear thin

Eventually, all the lies and manipulation will tire people out and encourage them to walk away once and for all.

3) Boundaries will become non-existent

Someone with a narcissistic personality won’t ever dream of respecting your boundaries, and certainly won’t take the time to reflect on what makes you feel bad or uncomfortable. Plus, for them, invading your personal bubble gives them a sense of control over you.

4) Feelings will be ignored

This point links into the previous one because no matter how many times you express that you are feeling uncomfortable, yet they won’t even bat an eyelid, and certainly won’t attempt to empathize with you. These kinds of friendships are completely one-way and won’t ever become anything different.

5) The sense of competition will become overbearing

That’s right, these folks have to shine and need to be made to feel special 24/7. Plus, being in competition with other people gives them the spike of adrenaline they need. That being said, these guys always play dirty, so you can expect them to put you down in order to validate themselves.

6) Jealousy will reign

The bottom line is that narcissists are jealous of their friends and simply see them as a commodity, or a means to an end. They don’t genuinely appreciate them and use them to their own advantage in most cases. Furthermore, because they are jealous, they’ll spend their time putting them down and trying to make them feel bad.

7) Guilt-tripping will become frequent

Whenever people don’t play along and dance to the beat of a narcissist’s drum, all hell will break loose. That’s right, sufferers of this condition will completely let rip and spin tall tales of how they feel victimized and ignored. In short, they’ll do anything to make people feel sorry for them.

Do narcissists tend to have a lot of friends?

When it comes to friendships, narcissists love to seduce people, which is why at the beginning, the victims will be convinced that they have met their best friend. That being said, these people are very sociable and love meeting new friends, or should I say victims. For these manipulators, friendship does not exist, nor does love, in fact, the only thing that interests them is using their so-called friends. It will therefore be possible for them to pretend to be a friend, to the point of believing in it themselves because this link brings them something that they could not obtain alone.

How do narcissists treat their friends?

They will often use the same mechanisms, including guilt and gaslighting. Narcissistic friends like to position themselves as victims, because by doing so, they make their prey oscillate from the role of savior to that of executioner. The art of these toxic friendships also consists in reeling in the misfortunes of the other person and knowing how to continually and subtly remind them of them. Indeed, the narcissist in friendship is quite simply the gravedigger of self-confidence, whilst they sabotage the joy of life of their so-called friends. The effects of such a relationship are cruelly felt by the victims. Here, victims suffer a drop in confidence in their abilities, a loss of friends and can sometimes suffer real emotional and financial rackets.

Editor’s opinion - Choose your friends wisely

In a society where we meet so many people, it can be easy to fall under the influence of poorly intentioned people who want to do us harm. If you suspect you have narcissistic friends, keep in mind that you’ll never be able to change them, which is why you need to walk away at the earliest point possible. It’s certainly better to have a few good friends than lots of fake friends…

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