I’m Scared Of Failure - How Can I Overcome This Fear?

Last updated by Lauren Hart

“I won’t manage it”, “I can’t do it”… I often say this because I doubt my abilities tremendously. Being so negative allows me to calm my fear of failure a bit. By doing nothing, I don’t run the risk of failing. I prefer to do nothing and remain in a state of waiting, for fear of not succeeding. So I procrastinate, thinking about the fact that I didn’t take the plunge out of anxiety. How can I overcome this fear to really start doing things?

I’m Scared Of Failure - How Can I Overcome This Fear?
Contents: 

Are you scared of failing? Take this test to find out: 

When you’re scared of failure, there are some tell-tale signs. A good way to find out whether you suffer from kakorrhaphiophobia, otherwise known as the fear of failure, is to check whether you have this type of behavior:

➜ We don’t want to lead: since we have a negative self-image and don’t believe in our abilities, leading a group project is out of the question. We’ll never volunteer to be the leader. Many young people from generation Y don’t want to become managers for this reason!

➜ We only retain negative remarks: when someone criticizes our work, we tend to retain only the negative, even if there were positive opinions too. Worse, we don’t like compliments!

➜ We’re ultra-perfectionists: the fear of failure leads to a need to control everything, bordering on an inflexible personality.

➜ We compare ourselves to others: it’s hard not to be envious when we’re scared of failure. We see others succeed and mentally compare ourselves to them. We feel that their success will never happen to us.

➜ We cannot handle a big event: the fear becomes physical, symptoms of stress appear including hyperventilation, stomach aches, sweating, etc.

The causes of the fear of failure

Before trying to overcome the fear of failure, like any other phobia, you must understand the causes of this anxiety and go back to its origins. It may be due to a past failure, which was so traumatic that it turned into an emotional shock. Low self-esteem also contributes to the fear of failure. Since we don’t value ourselves enough, we tell ourselves that we obviously won’t succeed.

😰 This phobia of failing is often associated with the fear of being afraid. It may lead to a state of anxiety or depression, which can be serious. This is why we must act quickly as soon as we identify this problem in ourselves.

How to beat the fear of failure?

Everyone hates failing. Nevertheless, the real fear of failure becomes disabling, preventing us from achieving our goals or dreams. This paralyzing anxiety should not rule our lives, so don’t hesitate to test these solutions to overcome it:

Understanding your emotions and freeing yourself from them

It’s real in-depth work that needs to be done to understand where the emotion of fear comes from. You have to go back to the origins while taking a step back from this fear. It’s important to be factual and see events from an external point of view to better manage your emotions, as for the fear of failure.

🧘‍♀️ For this, it’s good to learn to relax physically so as not to feel the physical symptoms. We practice meditation, yoga, breathing exercises… In short, all the little things can help us overcome this emotion of fear.

Seeing failure differently

All success stories have had failures. Even our teachers at school repeatedly told us that it’s normal to make mistakes, that this is how we learn. It’s important to play down failure because this is how we improve, how we push our ability to adapt, and our resistance to difficulties. A failure can also help us to succeed better. It allows us to correct our mistakes and get our aim just right!

💪 The more we fail, the more we ascend in order to succeed!

Reprogramming your thoughts

Limiting beliefs are those that paralyze us. Typically, when we tell ourselves that we won’t succeed and that we aren’t capable. This is why we need to learn to reinitiate our thoughts by starting cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT).

It’s important to regain self-confidence and learn to let go, which is what this therapy does. It resets our reflexes and thought patterns by exposing us, little by little, to our anxiety. Thanks to it, we become capable of taking action in order to accomplish the projects that are important to us.

How do you bounce back from failure?

It is not a question of accommodating failure, but of drawing all possible lessons for the future. In case of failure in a relationship, do not put all the blame on the other person, but also recognize your shortcomings and mistakes. In the professional or student field, identify the reasons that made you fail, and take them into account so that you don't do it again. In short, sometimes you have to know how to evaluate yourself in order to repair yourself.

Editor’s note: Don’t let fear guide your choices

We’re all afraid of failing, and that’s normal. Failure is difficult to live with, even if it’s a source of many lessons. Identifying this fear is a good starting point, as long as you don’t let it take over. It mustn’t stop you from acting out of fear of making a mistake.

👉 If this fear deprives you of doing certain things, make an appointment with a psychologist in order to identify the cause and set up new ways of working.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy… It’s here and now!
#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out these articles too:

Article presented by Lauren Hart

Writing is a beautiful means of expression that I cannot do without. It has allowed me to channel my hypersensitivity, plus I love writing about psychology and personal development. For me, self-understanding is the best way to move forward!

Read our latest articles here:

How To Get Revenge On A Narcissist?

Narcissistic abuse is one of the most horrific challenges anyone can ever go through in life, but that’s not to say that their reign of terror will last forever. Evidently, breaking the cycle of abuse isn’t exactly straightforward, however, once the discard phase has been activated and victims realize that they can walk away with their heads held high, the revenge phase can commence 😈. Unsurprisingly, getting even with a raging egocentric narcissist needs to be carefully planned, but ironically, their self-centered personalities expose to many axes of revenge, which will evidently really get to them…

Are Narcissists Lonely?

Loneliness is one of society’s biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population 😔. Now, lots of us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and strong-willed to feel alone, however, the truth is they are often the biggest victims of loneliness, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner malaise.

"Nobody Likes Me"

Never invited to parties, never listened to or solicited... It feels like you're just an ordinary person, who is pushed aside and has no value. If this is the case, we often end up coming to the sad conclusion that "nobody likes us! But, why do we think this? Now, this thought does not reflect reality, it hides deeper issues that need to be worked on to detach ourselves from this heavy feeling. Everyone deserves to be loved, including us!

6 Reasons Why Narcissists Never Apologize - They Hate Saying Sorry

I’ll be the first to admit that my stubbornness means I’m not exactly the most willing person when it comes to uttering the words ‘I’m sorry’, but I always push through my pride; although unfortunately, the same can’t be said for narcissists... Indeed, people who suffer from this personality disorder will simply never hold their hands up and accept responsibility for their actions, despite how deeply they’ve hurt your feelings. 😱 You know the idiom getting blood from a stone, right? Well, when it comes to apologies from these toxic personalities, nothing is more appropriate, and here are 6 reasons why!

Why Do I Feel Bad When People Don’t Message Me Back?

Friday night rolls around and after a hard week you were expecting to have a drink with a girlfriend, but she seems to have left you hanging on read... To make matters worse (and the humiliation?) you even saw the little typing sign appear, yet you never received a reply. Well, if that’s the case, obviously you or your "how about a drink tonight?" didn’t deserve an answer. Let’s take a look at why some people don't reply to messages, and why when someone doesn't reply to your text, this makes us feel so bad.

Do Narcissists Enjoy Kissing?

Kissing is a deeply intimate act, and although in popular culture it is often classed as only being worthy of first base, it does in fact go way beyond that toxic evaluation. We have no doubt all had at least one lingering kiss that we’ll never forget; one which left all of our senses tingling and hungry for more. 💏 Well, that memorable smooch left us reminiscing because it was sincere and meant something. In short, it encapsulated love and romance, which are two things that narcissists are quite simply incapable of feeling.

How Do You Know A Narcissist Is Cheating?

Narcissism is wholly incompatible with healthy relationships, which goes some way in explaining why people with this personality disorder always believe the grass is greener elsewhere. Indeed, fidelity isn’t something they excel in and adds to their exhaustive list of weaknesses alongside their love of manipulation and dishonesty. 💔 However, they are so cunning and crafty that catching them out and confirming your intuitions is no easy feat. To make things easier for you, here are the 10 signs you need to look out for if you believe your narcissistic man is cheating on you.

I Never Thought I’d Say This, But I Hate Working From Home…

Work has always been a synonym of repression for me because it takes up so much of our precious time. Let’s be honest, a 9-5 job with a horrendous daily commute often means that work is sadly our sole occupation. So, when the Covid-19 pandemic struck over a year ago, and we were all ordered to stay home, I found it hard to hide my joy in front of my distraught coworkers; although thankfully my acting talents saved me. You can probably already tell, but going into the office every day was nothing less than torture for me. Yet, all these months later, I’ve realized that I despise working from home and would do anything to sit in my uncomfortable office chair once again!

Do Narcissists Play The Victim?

If you have ever had the displeasure of encountering someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, then you’ll no doubt already know how manipulative they are. Indeed, these folks despise taking responsibility for their actions and will do whatever it takes to avoid taking the rap for them, including play the victim. That’s right, these master puppeteers won’t hold back on pulling the strings and changing the narrative so that it suits them. Plus, they know exactly how to turn the waterworks when they want to get people on side.

I Have A Problem With Authority, Argh!

With all the orders my parents gave me, I thought I was armed for school, but as soon as I was at pre-school, my parents were summoned because I refused to do what the teacher told me. As I grew up, it became increasingly difficult to tell my manager where to get off, summoning my parents was no longer an option, but the intolerance to authority remained. Can we reconcile ourselves with authority, whether it is a silent or uncontrollable difficulty?

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack