What is a complex?
A complex is a focus on a part of your body or personality that you consider to be a flaw. Complexes often originate in childhood, but they can also appear after a painful event. Nowadays, the relationship with our image is even more complicated with excessive advertising and social media. As a result, we often make judgments about ourselves that have an impact on our self-esteem. In extreme cases, the obsession over a complex can turn into a pathology, which is then called dysmorphia.
The most common complexes
They generally concern everything that is visible, especially your face, such as your nose, hair, skin, facial features… But also body parts that you try to hide as much as possible, such as your breasts, stomach, thighs…
Psychological complexes are obviously those that aren’t visible, but that can seriously impact your social life. One person might think that they aren’t cultured and won’t speak in public, another might be embarrassed by their shyness and may find other ways to overcome it (heavy drinking, provocative behavior, etc.).
Money, profession, or origins may give some people complexes. Note that the latter is a common reason for seeing a psychologist. Today, both men and women dare to talk about it in order to overcome a complex.
>>> Discover these 9 tips for developping your self-confidence
I have a complex, 5 steps to move forward
1. Seek out the source
There is often a trigger for a complex, such as childhood teasing, bullying, or family trauma, which impacts your self-confidence. Identifying the source of a complex may help you to reconcile with yourself. Indeed, sometimes memory is so painful that we would rather focus our attention on concrete detail. For example, my boyfriend left me, and to avoid facing up to it, I focus all my attention on my slightly round belly.
2. Make peace
You mustn’t try to eradicate your faults at all costs, you should simply make peace with your complexes. Your flaws, real or imaginary, make up the essence of who you are, they define you and make you unique. Without weaknesses, there are no strengths, and it’s this combination that leads to a greater knowledge of yourself. Think about it!
3. Don’t put yourself down
We often wrongly think that by reaching some kind of ideal, we will put an end to our complexes, which is not true! Once again, it’s by making peace with yourself and accepting your complexes that you will stop having them. Everyone has flaws and complexes, so it’s best not to put yourself down. Women who no longer have complexes (they exist!) have above all learned to detach themselves from what others think, to be positive, and avoid comparing themselves or putting themselves down when they fail.
4. Accept and enjoy
Gradually tame your complex. Try to expose yourself a little more every day and showcase your strengths and assets. You’ll end up realizing that there’s nothing nicer than enjoying life and not wasting a second longer putting yourself down.
5. Forget the “rules” of beauty
There is no such thing as the ideal clothing size or the perfect nose shape! Don’t focus on the obsessions that society may impose, but rather on your well-being before anything else. Some great models have turned their difference into a strength, such as Winnie Harlow, who has vitiligo.
Editor’s note: Don’t let them ruin your life
Complexes can make life impossible. Having complexes can very quickly have an impact on your social life and even your love life. You may want to hide yourself under layers of jumpers to hide your complexes. Don’t hesitate to contact our qualified psychologists, who can help you rebuild your self-image.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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