Do Narcissists Come Back? - Yes, 5 Signs One Is About To Pop Back Into Your Life

Last updated by Katie M.

You're probably thinking that once a narcissist has upped sticks and fled, he'll never dare to show his face again, however, quite the opposite is true. The reality is that these folks are like bad smells, there's no getting rid of them quickly, therefore regardless of all the pain, hurt, and trauma they've put their victims through, they'll always make a comeback, just to prove that they are still in control šŸ˜Ø. In fact, no matter how much time has passed, these torturous monsters will always eventually rear their ugly heads, just to get in that one last vicious blow. Discover which 10 circumstances they'll decide to show up in their exes' lives.

Do Narcissists Come Back? - Yes, 5 Signs One Is About To Pop Back Into Your Life

Victims of narcissists often believe that they have seen the back of them once the discard phase is over, and they have been dumped, but in actual fact, the spiral of abuse doesn't finish there. Narcissistic abuse doesnā€™t end with the breakup. In fact, many victims find that the manipulation continues long after the relationship ends. Narcissists are notorious for their inability to let go, and they often find ways to re-enter their victims' lives, even after a period of separation. Getting to a point where abusers no longer contact victims is a very long-winded and drawn-out process, but that's not to say it isn't worth it. Now, losing control is a narcissist's worst nightmare and when their ex moves on, their fear becomes a concrete form of reality. Although, be prepared because they will do absolutely anything to claw back the influence and authority that they once had.

What are 5 signs a narcissist will come back into your life?

Navigating relationships with a narcissist can be an emotional rollercoaster. Narcissists are experts at manipulation and emotional control. They use various tactics to regain their influence over you, often when you least expect it. Recognizing these signs can help you prepare and protect yourself from falling back into their trap. If youā€™ve recently distanced yourself from a narcissist, itā€™s crucial to be aware of the signs that they might be plotting a comeback. Here are five telltale signs a narcissist might re-enter your life:

1. Sudden acts of kindness

Out of the blue, you might notice the narcissist reaching out with seemingly genuine acts of kindness. They might send you a thoughtful message, offer help, or even give you a gift. This is often a tactic to lower your guard and make you question your decision to distance yourself.

2. Playing the victim

Narcissists are masters at flipping the script. They might start portraying themselves as the victim, sharing sob stories about how much theyā€™ve suffered since you left. This tactic is designed to evoke your sympathy and make you feel guilty for cutting ties.

3. Promises of change

One of the most common tactics is the promise of change. They might claim theyā€™ve seen the error of their ways and are committed to becoming a better person. Narcissists are skilled at using emotional manipulation to convince their ex-partners that theyā€™ve changed. They may claim to have had a life-altering realization, but in reality, this is often just another tactic to regain control. Their promises of change are rarely genuine and are typically short-lived.

4. Reaching out through mutual connections

If direct contact doesnā€™t work, a narcissist might try to get to you through mutual friends or family members. They might ask these people to pass on messages or even try to turn them against you.

5. Creating ā€œcoincidentalā€ encounters

Narcissists are known for their cunning nature. Donā€™t be surprised if you start running into them more often, whether itā€™s at your favorite coffee shop, the gym, or other places you frequent. These ā€œcoincidentalā€ encounters are often carefully orchestrated to make you believe itā€™s fate or a sign that you should reconnect.

Do narcissists come back? - Yes, especially in these situations šŸ«¢

There's always a reason for them to pop up...

1) Narcissists reappear when their ex seems happy

Narcissists are deeply jealous people, and when the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head, they'll often go running back to an ex. The sad truth is, they hate seeing their previous victims; whom they believed they had totally destroyed, living their best lives. In fact, seeing a simple selfie of their ex smiling on social media is enough to push them over the edge, and throw them into a jealous rage. Narcissists are driven by jealousy and a need for control. When they see their ex moving on and thriving, it threatens their sense of superiority. They cannot tolerate the idea that someone they once controlled is now happy without them.

2) When their ex ignores them

Whenever their phone calls and text messages go ignored, the possessive narcissist wants to know why. For them, the trauma bond linking them to their ex should be strong enough for them to remain at their beck and call following their breakup. However, in reality, victims do eventually pick themselves up again and find the strength to block their abuser and draw a line under their toxic relationship. Plus, relinquishing control over someone isn't a straightforward process for them...

3) They claim went through an epiphany

Now, these people certainly shouldn't be underestimated, especially where their acting skills are concerned. They have such little regard for their ex-partners, that they'll make them believe anything, and will even try to convince them that they have changed. Here, they pull out all the big arguments as to why they should be given a second chance, including, their emotional connection with you, plus they'll take love bombing to the extreme. That's right, they'll do anything in their power to make you forget the narcissistic abuse.

4) They are bored with their new victim

These folks constantly need to be kept on their toes and challenged, so when they come up against people who don't exactly put up a fight, they typically decide to ghost them and run back to a reliable ex, who'll give them the entertainment they need. Breaking someone's soul is after all their guilty pleasure, and the more difficult the process is, the better.

5) When they want to play the field

Narcissists are huge cheaters and love dating around in the hope of finding more potential victims. Even when they are in a relationship, they'll be sneakily signed up to dating apps and regularly chatting with other girls. Plus, their need for a constant source of supply of admiration means they need to feel venerated and respected. Someone has to feed their ego, after all, which is why they run back to their trusty exes for adulation!

6) When they miss torturing you

Torturing people is definitely their favorite hobby and not one that they can give up instantly. In fact, their nostalgic ways often drive them back to their exes. Well, getting rid of old habits certainly isn't an easy feat, and these abusers certainly can't resist the temptation to tear people down.

7) When they miss the sex

Narcissist relationships are very different from healthy ones, and everything about them is completely different, including sexually. People with this personality disorder have very bizarre needs in the bedroom, which not every partner will be willing to accept. Narcissists often use sex as a tool for control and manipulation. Their sexual needs can be unusual, and they may seek out partners who are willing to cater to these desires. When they return to an ex, itā€™s often because they know that person will fulfill their specific sexual demands.

8) If they think you are still in love with them

As true full-blown narcissistic characters, their egos are completely out of control, which is why they genuinely believe that their ex-partners are still in love with them. Despite all the terrible series of abuse, these people subject their victims to, they are still convinced that they can walk back into their lives because the romantic feelings are still present.

9) When they are in financial trouble

Victims of these slippery snakes all have a similar sort of profile, and by that I mean they all have something that interests a social-climbing narcissist. Now, in all honesty, these cunning characters often enter relationships thinking that they can benefit financially in some form and therefore live their dream lives financed by someone else's credit card. These leeches will suck everything from you, including your soul and your money too.

10) When they see you've become stronger without them

This is where their resentfulness comes into play and their jealousy in relationships kicks in. Whenever these mental health abusers see their victims doing well, the evilness within them will arise and encourage them to become even more aggressive towards them and will make it their personal mission to destroy them once and for all.

>>> Read; Do narcissists enjoy kissing?

 šŸ’”FAQ šŸ’” How long does it take a narcissist to come back? 

Normally, after a break-up, the person who decided to leave the relationship doesn't come back. But that's not the case with a narcissist. Even if it was them who took the decision, or even if it was their partner who decided to end the relationship, the abuser always comes back. In short, these manipulators find being dumped truly unacceptable.

But how long does it take for them to return to their former partner? It's difficult to say exactly how long it takes for them to return, but one thing is certain: they come back very quickly. The longer it takes to return, the more time the victim has to reflect on their relationship. Studies have shown that narcissists always return within 7 days of their break-up. In fact, it should be noted that their return is purely for revenge, not love.

How to make a narcissist come crawling back?

Sometimes ending a toxic relationship is just too brutal and may even lead the way to you wanting your own form of toxic revenge. By wanting a narcissist to come crawling back to you, you are no doubt playing with fire. Engaging in this kind of game with a narcissist is risky. Narcissists thrive on power and control, and by trying to manipulate them into coming back, you may find yourself caught in an even more toxic cycle. Itā€™s important to recognize that while you may feel empowered by getting them to return, the relationship will likely remain unhealthy and damaging. But, on the other hand, if you believe this will give you the clean break you need, getting him back is fairly simple. All it will take is a message, or a call in which you act completely indifferent to his woes. Essentially, whenever you act in the opposite way to what he expects, heā€™ll immediately want to resume the manipulation game.

Indeed, to hurt someone who hurt you, you must start by changing your own behavior. Know that a narcissist wants to push you to the limit, which is why he constantly belittles you so that you lose all confidence in yourself and, therefore, that you no longer dare to retort anything. The narcissistic manipulator dreams of seeing you: hysterical, angry, and aggressive. You must therefore do the opposite, namely: keep your calm, do not respond to him out of anger, and ignore him. By doing this, youā€™ll have him exactly where you want him.

šŸ’” Practical tip time - How to fix boundaries in your life šŸ’”

The following tips can be put into practice by anyone seeking to tame this important concept of respecting ourselves and telling others when they've overstepped our boundaries.

  • 1) Introspection: This is the first step. In fact, we need to know our own limits in order to recognize when others' behavior or demands exceed them. To do this, we can draw on past experiences that have provoked negative feelings in us, because we then exceeded our limits. What's more, the limits we set are not necessarily the same for everyone we come into contact with. In fact, it's normal to have stricter limits with a work colleague than with an old friend.
  • 2) Focus on your own feelings: When we exceed our own emotional limits, our bodies can react with real physical discomfort. Stomach ache, nausea, sudden headaches... It's good to know how to recognize these discomforts and the elements that provoked them, to then better identify the limits we have.
  • 3) Assert yourself: Once we've identified our own limits, we need to put them into practice in our daily lives. To do this, it's important to be direct and express your displeasure when someone exceeds them. This may take some practice, but it's important to start with "lighter" statements, and then gravitate towards the more serious stuff. For example, it's easier to start by informing a colleague that he's asking you a question you consider inappropriate, rather than confronting his life partner about behavior that bothers us.
 šŸ’”FAQ šŸ’” Why does the narcissist keep coming back? 

Narcissists often keep coming back to their former partners for several reasons, primarily driven by their need for control, validation, and supply. Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration, and they see their partners as sources of this "narcissistic supply." When they feel that supply diminishing, they may return to reassert their dominance and regain control. Additionally, narcissists have a deep-seated fear of abandonment and rejection, so they may come back to avoid facing these uncomfortable emotions. They may also return to manipulate their former partners into believing that they have changed or to create a sense of dependency. Ultimately, the narcissist's return is rarely about genuine love or remorse; it is more about maintaining power and satisfying their own needs.

Does a narcissist ever let you go of a victim?

A narcissistic person can let go of their victim, but this depends on several factors, such as the person's degree of narcissism, their motivations and the specific dynamics of the relationship. Here are some common scenarios that can occur:

  • Devaluation and abandonment: These people may go through a cycle of valuing and devaluing in their relationships. At first, they may idealize their victim, valuing them and giving them excessive attention. Over time, however, they may begin to devalue and criticize their victim, blaming them for problems and treating them unfairly. In some cases, this can lead to emotional abandonment or a complete breakdown of the relationship.

  • Replacement: Narcissistic people often need to feel constantly admired and valued. If they find another person who seems to offer greater narcissistic gratification, they may abandon their current victim to focus on this new source of admiration. They may then lose interest in their previous victim and let her go without remorse.

  • Maintaining control: In some cases, narcissists may choose to keep their victims in their orbit in order to continue to exert a certain level of control over them. They may use manipulative tactics, emotional blackmail or gaslighting to keep their victim in their grip. In this situation, they don't let go of their victim completely, but rather continue to exert a toxic influence on their life.

>>> Read; What does narcissistic abuse feel like?

Editor's opinion - Stand strong regardless of their efforts

No matter how much a narcissist tries to back you into a corner in an attempt to get you back, stand strong and ignore their attempts. Falling back into the pattern of abuse is a one-way ticket to hell that will be even harder to escape from the second time around. Although they may promise to change and do better, they are, in reality, incapable of it...

šŸ¤— Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Letā€™s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Connect with an advisor

Be sure to check out the following articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

šŸŒ» Discover the world through my eyes.

Our most popular 'psychology' articles:

The 10 Weak Points Of A Narcissist Revealed

Each one of us has our own weaknesses that hold us back in life; be it at work or in relationships. However, on a more positive note, most of us have the will to work on them and transform them. That being said, once narcissists are brought into the picture, the idea that they want to work on their weaknesses doesnā€™t exactly seem feasible. For a deeper understanding of these narcissists and more insights into the workings of their minds, discover their weak spots and which pointers they struggle with on a daily basis, yet aren't willing to admit or work on šŸ‘Ž.

Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Now, narcissists are known for demonstrating a worrying lack of empathy along with deviously manipulative traits, oh, and before I forget to mention it, HUGE egos too šŸ˜ˆ. Yes, thatā€™s right, they love spending hours looking in the mirror and being told how fabulous they are. To put it in other words, people with this personality disorder are firmly in love with themselves, to the point of being totally obsessed with their so-called perfection, but the question is, can they put their self-admiration aside enough to become preoccupied with someone else? If, on the other hand, you're looking to get a narcissist hooked on you, you're in the right place with these tips.

What Do Narcissists Hate The Most? - 10 Things That Drive Them Crazy

Knowing what narcissist manipulators hates can help victims to break free from their evil psychological grip. Indeed, even these manipulators see themselves as invulnerable beings, their victims often ignore how their pathological narcissism makes them suffer in many ways. šŸ˜± Let's take a closer look at what these cunning beings cannot stand, and what exactly drives them wild. Now, we all get angry for one reason or another, but people with this personality disorder have different triggers related to the things they despise.

How Does A Narcissist React When They Can't Control You? 10 Things They Do

You probably know by now that narcissists only ever look for one thing and one thing only; and thatā€™s control! Whether in their personal or professional life, folks with this personality disorder need to be in the driving seat and the one calling the shots, otherwise all hell breaks loose. šŸ˜Ø Although their cunning and manipulative nature means they are often hard to escape, it is still possible to turn the tables on them and take the upper hand. Yet, youā€™ll need a thick skin to do so because when they feel their power slipping away, they become even more dangerous and abusive; hereā€™s how they react when that happens.

What Is The 333 Rule For Anxiety And Panic Attacks? It's A Soothing Technique

I want to be completely open and honest with you, so letā€™s get started. Anxiety has dominated my life for the past 5 years and has been at the root of countless panic attacks and bouts of intense stress šŸ˜Ÿ. Youā€™ve probably guessed it, but it has had a devastating impact on my mental health and has therefore changed my life for the worst. Now, Iā€™m not here for a pity party, but instead of focusing on the negative sides of this condition, I want to share the most effective tip Iā€™ve found when it comes to feeling less anxious and reducing panic attacks; so without further ado, letā€™s take a look at the 3-3-3 rule.

Are Narcissists Insecure?

There is no denying that narcissistic personalities display some deeply worrying and disturbing traits, but what if these devious traits were just a means of protection? What if they were in fact a complete facade, fabricated to keep people away, in the hope of hiding their deepest darkest insecurities? šŸ˜± After all, everyone has weak spots, even the most confident and put together of people, so why wouldnā€™t a narcissist deal with the same niggling doubts as everyone else? It's time we got to the bottom of this and discovered why these folks are so insecure.

Split Personality

Are you familiar with dissociative personality disorder? You may well think of schizophrenia, yet the two conditions are different. What is dissociative personality disorder? Weā€™ll explain all.

How To Heal From The Pain Of Being Rejected

Whether itā€™s the breakdown of a relationship, a family dispute, or even being fired dismissal... We have all experienced the feeling of being rejected, excluded, or left out. Whilst some people manage to bounce back quite quickly, others suffer from it in a persistent way. As for me, I understood how to move on, because I was able to recognize my rejection wound. So, how can we overcome the fear of rejection and move on from it?

Mythomania

ā€œHeā€™s lying through his teeth!ā€ Youā€™re confronted with a mythomaniac in your close circle. You had no doubts about what they were saying and after conducting your own little investigation, youā€™re stunned! Theyā€™ve been leading you on since the beginningā€¦ They invented a life for themselves. But why? How do you recognize a liar, and how can you protect yourself? Weā€™ll tell you everything.

Why We Feel So Socially Exhausted After Lockdown

ā€œAre you coming to the party on Saturday?ā€ After months of restrictions and several lockdowns, I must admit that I wasnā€™t expecting to hear this question. So I did a series of things, I had drinks with my girlfriends, I went to parties, lunches, etc. And without realizing it, I felt exhausted. Why do I feel like I've been running on empty since the end of lockdown?

More insights into our personalities:

Do Narcissists Apologize? 6 Reasons Why They Never Say Sorry

Iā€™ll be the first to admit that my stubbornness means Iā€™m not exactly the most willing person when it comes to uttering the words ā€˜Iā€™m sorryā€™, but I always push through my pride; although unfortunately, the same canā€™t be said for narcissists... Indeed, people who suffer from this personality disorder will simply never hold their hands up and accept responsibility for their actions, despite how deeply theyā€™ve hurt your feelings. šŸ˜± You know the idiom getting blood from a stone, right? Well, when it comes to apologies from these toxic personalities, nothing is more appropriate, and here are 6 reasons why!

Ergophobia: When The Fear Of Work Eats Away At Youā€¦

I know the real fear of work. I suffered from it for a long time, but Iā€™m happy to say that today Iā€™m cured. Itā€™s an illness that can make others smile, as you can easily be seen as lazy. However, itā€™s not the case for people suffering from ergophobia, the fear of work. Where does this fear come from? How can it be treated? All will be explained.

6 Differences Between Being Self-Centered And Being A Narcissist

When it comes to mental health disorders, the parameters of each condition often seem blurry, and this explains why many of us have trouble identifying them. Plus, certain disorders frequently encompass similar symptoms and traits, making recognizing and therefore understanding them even more complicated. Letā€™s take being selfish and having a narcissistic personality disorder, for example. Because they overlap on such a huge scale, upon first glance, they do in fact seem indistinguishable to many of us. That being said, when you dig a little deeper, the differences do become more and more apparent.

I Have Fits Of Anger

Anyone whoā€™s never felt anger can close this article! Weā€™ve all felt this virulent emotion at one time or another šŸ˜”. Itā€™s neither bad nor good, but it has the right to exist. Itā€™s healthy to feel angry when youā€™re betrayed or a victim of an injustice. However, when anger attacks are recurrent, itā€™s good to learn how to control them. When anger hurts others or ourselves, it becomes a problem.

Iā€™m Scared Of Failure

ā€œI wonā€™t manage itā€, ā€œI canā€™t do itā€ā€¦ I often say this because I doubt my abilities tremendously. Being so negative allows me to calm my fear of failure a bit. By doing nothing, I donā€™t run the risk of failing. I prefer to do nothing and remain in a state of waiting, for fear of not succeeding. So I procrastinate, thinking about the fact that I didnā€™t take the plunge out of anxiety. How can I overcome this fear to really start doing things?

Why I Hate Conflict And What I Need To Do To Face It

As soon as I feel tension build up with someone close to me, I take flight. I donā€™t like conflict, even if I donā€™t agree with the other person, I run from it. As a result, I keep it all inside of me, which can generate a lot of annoyance. Rather than this eating away at us from the inside, we need to learn to overcome this fear of conflict to make our voice heard. Why do we run away from conflict? How can we overcome this fear? Here are some explanations.

What Are The Signs That You Are Unhappy?

I sometimes feel bad, I donā€™t have the energy anymoreā€¦ When we encounter financial, family, or other difficulties, as well as serious events such as bereavement, we accumulate psychological wounds. We can be resilient and move on, but we can also be overwhelmed by a growing sense of unease. Thereā€™s no shame in feeling bad psychologically, it happens to us all. However, spotting the signs of unhappiness enables us to be alert and to take care of our mental health.

8 Reasons Why Millennials Feel So Lost

If you ever find yourself watching the news or reading traditional journalism outlets, youā€™ll no doubt have picked up on the bad rep that millennials get. Thatā€™s right, we millennials (those of us who were born between 1981 ā€“ 1996) are often criticized for being ā€˜wokeā€™, overly sensitive, entitled, and lazy. Now, isnā€™t that a bunch of adjectives youā€™d instantly like to forget! As you can probably tell, I donā€™t agree with the evaluation regarding our age group and am here to explain why we feel so lost and disconnected.

Why Do We Like Being Scared?

Making up ghost stories, talking about horrible legends, wanting to talk about spiritsā€¦ I think we all did it when we were children. Even as adults, if we like watching horror films or documentaries about serial killers, itā€™s because we love scaring ourselves! šŸ˜± However, the question we may ask ourselves is why we like being scared? There are neuropsychological and sociological reasons behind this attraction. All will be explained!

How To Get Rid Of Your Horrid Complexes

Legs too fat, lips too small, scars or even shyness, whether itā€™s physical or psychological, complexes often have the bad taste of spoiling our lives and making us unhappy. But we wonā€™t let them do that to us! Weā€™re worth more than that, right?

Wengood's favorite tunes šŸŽµ

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist?

How to detect a narcissist?


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde