Do Narcissists Come Back? - Yes, They Always Do, Here's Why

Last updated by Katie M.

You're probably thinking that once a narcissist has upped sticks and fled, he'll never dare to show his face again, however, quite the opposite is true. The reality is that these folks are like bad smells, there's no getting rid of them quickly, therefore regardless of all the pain, hurt, and trauma they've put their victims through, they'll always make a comeback, just to prove that they are still in control 😨. In fact, no matter how much time has passed, these torturous monsters will always eventually rear their ugly heads, just to get in that one last vicious blow. Discover which 10 circumstances they'll decide to show up in their exes' lives.

Do Narcissists Come Back? - Yes, They Always Do, Here's Why

Victims of narcissists often believe that they have seen the back of them once the discard phase is over, and they have been dumped, but in actual fact, the spiral of abuse doesn't finish there. Getting to a point where abusers no longer contact victims is a very long-winded and drawn-out process, but that's not to say it isn't worth it. Now, losing control is a narcissist's worst nightmare and when their ex moves on, their fear becomes a concrete form of reality. Although, be prepared because they will do absolutely anything to claw back the influence and authority that they once had.

10 Situations which cause narcissists to come crawling back 🫢

There's always a reason for them to pop up...

1) Narcissists reappear when their ex seems happy

Narcissists are deeply jealous people, and when the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head, they'll often go running back to an ex. The sad truth is, they hate seeing their previous victims; whom they believed they had totally destroyed, living their best lives. In fact, seeing a simple selfie of their ex smiling on social media is enough to push them over the edge, and throw them into a jealous rage. For these vicious characters, when they set out to destroy someone, the person should never be able to piece themselves back together afterward...

2) When their ex ignores them

Whenever their phone calls and text messages go ignored, the possessive narcissist wants to know why. For them, the trauma bond linking them to their ex should be strong enough for them to remain at their beck and call following their breakup. However, in reality, victims do eventually pick themselves up again and find the strength to block their abuser and draw a line under their toxic relationship. Plus, relinquishing control over someone isn't a straightforward process for them...

3) They claim went through an epiphany

Now, these people certainly shouldn't be underestimated, especially where their acting skills are concerned. They have such little regard for their ex-partners, that they'll make them believe anything, and will even try to convince them that they have changed. Here, they pull out all the big arguments as to why they should be given a second chance, including, their emotional connection with you, plus they'll take love bombing to the extreme. That's right, they'll do anything in their power to make you forget the narcissistic abuse.

4) They are bored with their new victim

These folks constantly need to be kept on their toes and challenged, so when they come up against people who don't exactly put up a fight, they typically decide to ghost them and run back to a reliable ex, who'll give them the entertainment they need. Breaking someone's soul is after all their guilty pleasure, and the more difficult the process is, the better.

5) When they want to play the field

Narcissists are huge cheaters and love dating around in the hope of finding more potential victims. Even when they are in a relationship, they'll be sneakily signed up to dating apps and regularly chatting with other girls. Plus, their need for a constant source of supply of admiration means they need to feel venerated and respected. Someone has to feed their ego, after all, which is why they run back to their trusty exes for adulation!

6) When they miss torturing you

Torturing people is definitely their favorite hobby and not one that they can give up instantly. In fact, their nostalgic ways often drive them back to their exes. Well, getting rid of old habits certainly isn't an easy feat, and these abusers certainly can't resist the temptation to tear people down.

7) When they miss the sex

Narcissist relationships are very different from healthy ones, and everything about them is completely different, including sexually. People with this personality disorder have very bizarre needs in the bedroom, which not every partner will be willing to accept, however, in this case, these monsters know their exes are ready to bow down to their every sexual demand.

8) If they think you are still in love with them

As true full-blown narcissistic characters, their egos are completely out of control, which is why they genuinely believe that their ex-partners are still in love with them. Despite all the terrible series of abuse, these people subject their victims to, they are still convinced that they can walk back into their lives because the romantic feelings are still present.

9) When they are in financial trouble

Victims of these slippery snakes all have a similar sort of profile, and by that I mean they all have something that interests a social-climbing narcissist. Now, in all honesty, these cunning characters often enter relationships thinking that they can benefit financially in some form and therefore live their dream lives financed by someone else's credit card. These leeches will suck everything from you, including your soul and your money too.

10) When they see you've become stronger without them

This is where their resentfulness comes into play and their jealousy in relationships kicks in. Whenever these mental health abusers see their victims doing well, the evilness within them will arise and encourage them to become even more aggressive towards them and will make it their personal mission to destroy them once and for all.

>>> Read; Do narcissists enjoy kissing?

How to make a narcissist come crawling back?

Sometimes ending a toxic relationship is just too brutal and may even lead the way to you wanting your own form of toxic revenge. By wanting a narcissist to come crawling back to you, you are no doubt playing with fire. But, on the other hand, if you believe this will give you the clean break you need, getting him back is fairly simple. All it will take is a message, or a call in which you act completely indifferent to his woes. Essentially, whenever you act in the opposite way to what he expects, he’ll immediately want to resume the manipulation game.

Indeed, to hurt someone who hurt you, you must start by changing your own behavior. Know that a narcissist wants to push you to the limit, which is why he constantly belittles you so that you lose all confidence in yourself and, therefore, that you no longer dare to retort anything. The narcissistic manipulator dreams of seeing you: hysterical, angry, and aggressive. You must therefore do the opposite, namely: keep your calm, do not respond to him out of anger, and ignore him. By doing this, you’ll have him exactly where you want him.

💡Practical tip time - How to fix boundaries in your life💡

The following tips can be put into practice by anyone seeking to tame this important concept of respecting ourselves and telling others when they've overstepped our boundaries.

1) Introspection
This is the first step. In fact, we need to know our own limits in order to recognize when others' behavior or demands exceed them. To do this, we can draw on past experiences that have provoked negative feelings in us, because we then exceeded our limits. What's more, the limits we set are not necessarily the same for everyone we come into contact with. In fact, it's normal to have stricter limits with a work colleague than with an old friend.

2) Focus on your own feelings
When we exceed our own emotional limits, our bodies can react with real physical discomfort. Stomach ache, nausea, sudden headaches... It's good to know how to recognize these discomforts and the elements that provoked them, to then better identify the limits we have.

3) Assert yourself
Once we've identified our own limits, we need to put them into practice in our daily lives. To do this, it's important to be direct and express your displeasure when someone exceeds them. This may take some practice, but it's important to start with "lighter" statements, and then gravitate towards the more serious stuff. For example, it's easier to start by informing a colleague that he's asking you a question you consider inappropriate, rather than confronting his life partner about behavior that bothers us.

Does a narcissist ever let you go of a victim?

A narcissistic person can let go of their victim, but this depends on several factors, such as the person's degree of narcissism, their motivations and the specific dynamics of the relationship. Here are some common scenarios that can occur:

  • Devaluation and abandonment: These people may go through a cycle of valuing and devaluing in their relationships. At first, they may idealize their victim, valuing them and giving them excessive attention. Over time, however, they may begin to devalue and criticize their victim, blaming them for problems and treating them unfairly. In some cases, this can lead to emotional abandonment or a complete breakdown of the relationship.

  • Replacement: Narcissistic people often need to feel constantly admired and valued. If they find another person who seems to offer greater narcissistic gratification, they may abandon their current victim to focus on this new source of admiration. They may then lose interest in their previous victim and let her go without remorse.

  • Maintaining control: In some cases, narcissists may choose to keep their victims in their orbit in order to continue to exert a certain level of control over them. They may use manipulative tactics, emotional blackmail or gaslighting to keep their victim in their grip. In this situation, they don't let go of their victim completely, but rather continue to exert a toxic influence on their life.

>>> Read; What does narcissistic abuse feel like?

Editor's opinion - Stand strong regardless of their efforts

No matter how much a narcissist tries to back you into a corner in an attempt to get you back, stand strong and ignore their attempts. Falling back into the pattern of abuse is a one-way ticket to hell that will be even harder to escape from the second time around. Although they may promise to change and do better, they are, in reality, incapable of it...

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!


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How to detect a narcissist?

How to detect a narcissist?

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde