Do Narcissists Always Come Back? - Yes, Here's When And Why They Reappear

Last updated by Katie M.

You're probably thinking that once a narcissist has upped sticks and fled, he'll never dare to show his face again, however, quite the opposite is true. The reality is that these folks are like bad smells, there's no getting rid of them quickly, therefore regardless of all the pain, hurt, and trauma they've put their victims through, they'll always make a comeback, just to prove that they are still in control. In fact, no matter how much time has passed, these torturous monsters will always eventually rear their ugly heads, just to get in that one last vicious blow. Discover which 10 circumstances they'll decide to show up in their exes' lives.

Do Narcissists Always Come Back? - Yes, Here's When And Why They Reappear

Victims of narcissists often believe that they have seen the back of them once the discard phase is over, and they have been dumped, but in actual fact, the spiral of abuse doesn't finish there. Getting to a point where abusers no longer contact victims is a very long-winded and drawn-out process, but that's not to say it isn't worth it. Now, losing control is a narcissist's worst nightmare and when their ex moves on, their fear becomes a concrete form of reality. Although, be prepared because they will do absolutely anything to claw back the influence and authority that they once had.

10 Circumstances that see narcissists running back to their exes

There's always a reason for them to pop up...

1) When their ex is happy

Narcissists are deeply jealous people, and when the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head, they'll often go running back to an ex. The sad truth is, they hate seeing their previous victims; whom they believed they had totally destroyed, living their best lives. In fact, seeing a simple selfie of their ex smiling on social media is enough to push them over the edge, and throw them into a jealous rage. For these vicious characters, when they set out to destroy someone, the person should never be able to piece themselves back together afterward...

2) When their ex ignores them

Whenever their phone calls and text messages go ignored, the possessive narcissist wants to know why. For them, the trauma bond linking them to their ex should be strong enough for them to remain at their beck and call following their breakup. However, in reality, victims do eventually pick themselves up again and find the strength to block their abuser and draw a line under their toxic relationship. Plus, relinquishing control over someone isn't a straightforward process for them...

3) They claim went through an epiphany

Now, these people certainly shouldn't be underestimated, especially where their acting skills are concerned. They have such little regard for their ex-partners, that they'll make them believe anything, and will even try to convince them that they have changed. Here, they pull out all the big arguments as to why they should be given a second chance, including, their emotional connection with you, plus they'll take love bombing to the extreme. That's right, they'll do anything in their power to make you forget the narcissistic abuse.

4) They are bored with their new victim

These folks constantly need to be kept on their toes and challenged, so when they come up against people who don't exactly put up a fight, they typically decide to ghost them and run back to a reliable ex, who'll give them the entertainment they need. Breaking someone's soul is after all their guilty pleasure, and the more difficult the process is, the better.

5) When they want to play the field

Narcissists are huge cheaters and love dating around in the hope of finding more potential victims. Even when they are in a relationship, they'll be sneakily signed up to dating apps and regularly chatting with other girls. Plus, their need for a constant source of supply of admiration means they need to feel venerated and respected. Someone has to feed their ego, after all, which is why they run back to their trusty exes for adulation!

6) When they miss torturing you

Torturing people is definitely their favorite hobby and not one that they can give up instantly. In fact, their nostalgic ways often drive them back to their exes. Well, getting rid of old habits certainly isn't an easy feat, and these abusers certainly can't resist the temptation to tear people down.

7) When they miss the sex

Narcissist relationships are very different from healthy ones, and everything about them is completely different, including sexually. People with this personality disorder have very bizarre needs in the bedroom, which not every partner will be willing to accept, however, in this case, these monsters know their exes are ready to bow down to their every sexual demand.

8) If they think you are still in love with them

As true full-blown narcissistic characters, their egos are completely out of control, which is why they genuinely believe that their ex-partners are still in love with them. Despite all the terrible series of abuse, these people subject their victims to, they are still convinced that they can walk back into their lives because the romantic feelings are still present.

9) When they are in financial trouble

Victims of these slippery snakes all have a similar sort of profile, and by that I mean they all have something that interests a social-climbing narcissist. Now, in all honesty, these cunning characters often enter relationships thinking that they can benefit financially in some form and therefore live their dream lives financed by someone else's credit card. These leeches will suck everything from you, including your soul and your money too.

10) When they see you've become stronger without them

This is where their resentfulness comes into play and their jealousy kicks in. Whenever these mental health abusers see their victims doing well, the evilness within them will arise and encourage them to become even more aggressive towards them and will make it their personal mission to destroy them once and for all.

How to make a narcissist come crawling back?

Sometimes ending a toxic relationship is just too brutal and may even lead the way to you wanting your own form of toxic revenge. By wanting a narcissist to come crawling back to you, you are no doubt playing with fire. But, on the other hand, if you believe this will give you the clean break you need, getting him back is fairly simple. All it will take is a message, or a call in which you act completely indifferent to his woes. Essentially, whenever you act in the opposite way to what he expects, he’ll immediately want to resume the manipulation game.

Indeed, to hurt someone who hurt you, you must start by changing your own behavior. Know that a narcissist wants to push you to the limit, which is why he constantly belittles you so that you lose all confidence in yourself and, therefore, that you no longer dare to retort anything. The narcissistic manipulator dreams of seeing you: hysterical, angry, and aggressive. You must therefore do the opposite, namely: keep your calm, do not respond to him out of anger, and ignore him. By doing this, you’ll have him exactly where you want him.

Why do narcissists come back when you are strong again?

The toxic manipulator almost always returns to their victim, and they like to catch them when they are least expecting it. Indeed, if the narcissist comes back, it is to manipulate their victim even more and to get more out of them. They choose to do this when their victim is getting back on their feet, as a sort of challenge to themselves. The victim’s new energy, his serenity, benevolence, and kindness are like magnets for the manipulator. As soon as they think they can get something more out of them, they rush back to torture them. In reality, if the manipulator acts like this, it is also because they are dependent on their victim. The narcissist’s return is marked by toxicity. Their disguised intentions are malicious and ill-intentioned. Likewise, they’ll try to persuade their victims that their presence is a favor to them. Here, their goal is simple: to make their victim dependent in every way. Once they are able to manipulate their victim through guilt, alienation, or instrumentalization, they have the royal road to further control.

What does no contact do to a narcissist?

In the beginning, he will always try to contact you by different means and on different subjects but as soon as he realizes that you want to ignore him, he will be ashamed because he will start to understand that he has failed, but he will start again sooner or later, he will let one or two months go by and then, like a cat with its mouse, he will "jump" on you when you least expect it! The worst thing is that he follows you everywhere because of course you had given him your contact details: phone, emails, websites, etc... You have to persevere and above all not give in even if he complains, because he has all the problems in the world, but he never asks you if you are okay, he doesn't care, you are his toy, his prey that he will only let go of when he has broken it down so much that he is no longer interested.

How long does it take for a narcissist to come back?

Narcissists are very reactive people and struggle to sit on their hands for long periods of time, which is why, they are quick to take action. These folks typically only let a day pass when their victims have sent them away. They choose not to allow their victims too much breathing space, in an attempt to retain control over them. In fact, narcissists believe that the more they keep their victims isolated and away from their close loved ones, the easier they are to control and manipulate. Once the 24-hour period has passed, the narcissist will be back with a vengeance, to try to regain the control and to trap you. In this case, you should expect to be bombarded with text messages, calls, and unplanned visits to your house.

Editor's opinion - Stand strong regardless of their efforts

No matter how much a narcissist tries to back you into a corner in an attempt to get you back, stand strong and ignore their attempts. Falling back into the pattern of abuse is a one-way ticket to hell that will be even harder to escape from the second time around. Although they may promise to change and do better, they are, in reality, incapable of it...

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!


Be sure to check out the following articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Our most popular 'psychology' articles:

What Does A Narcissist Hate?

Narcissists are experts in the field of duping and manipulating their victims, yes, that’s right they are true chameleons, which explains why many of them often go undetected. Their behavior is definitely dangerous and means we definitely need to figure out what makes them tick and, in this particular case, what they hate. Understanding what these entitled personalities dislike is one of the keys to best exposing them and freeing their victims from their grip. Now, we all get angry for one reason or another, but people with this personality disorder have different triggers related to the things they despise.

What Is The 333 Rule For Anxiety?

I want to be completely open and honest with you, so let’s get started. Anxiety has dominated my life for the past 5 years and has been at the root of countless panic attacks and bouts of intense stress. You’ve probably guessed it, but it has had a devastating impact on my mental health and has therefore changed my life for the worst. Now, I’m not here for a pity party, but instead of focusing on the negative sides of this condition, I want to share the most effective tip I’ve found when it comes to feeling less anxious; so without further ado, let’s take a look at the 3-3-3 rule.

How To Heal From The Pain Of Being Rejected

Whether it’s the breakdown of a relationship, a family dispute, or even being fired dismissal... We have all experienced the feeling of being rejected, excluded, or left out. Whilst some people manage to bounce back quite quickly, others suffer from it in a persistent way. As for me, I understood how to move on, because I was able to recognize my rejection wound. So, how can we overcome the fear of rejection and move on from it?


“He’s lying through his teeth!” You’re confronted with a mythomaniac in your close circle. You had no doubts about what they were saying and after conducting your own little investigation, you’re stunned! They’ve been leading you on since the beginning… They invented a life for themselves. But why? How do you recognize a liar, and how can you protect yourself? We’ll tell you everything.

Why We Feel So Socially Exhausted After Lockdown

“Are you coming to the party on Saturday?” After months of restrictions and several lockdowns, I must admit that I wasn’t expecting to hear this question. So I did a series of things, I had drinks with my girlfriends, I went to parties, lunches, etc. And without realizing it, I felt exhausted. Why do I feel like I've been running on empty since the end of lockdown?

Split Personality

Are you familiar with dissociative personality disorder? You may well think of schizophrenia, yet the two conditions are different. What is dissociative personality disorder? We’ll explain all.

More insights into our personalities:

Ergophobia: When The Fear Of Work Eats Away At You…

I know the real fear of work. I suffered from it for a long time, but I’m happy to say that today I’m cured. It’s an illness that can make others smile, as you can easily be seen as lazy. However, it’s not the case for people suffering from ergophobia, the fear of work. Where does this fear come from? How can it be treated? All will be explained.

6 Differences Between Being Self-Centered And Being A Narcissist

When it comes to mental health disorders, the parameters of each condition often seem blurry, and this explains why many of us have trouble identifying them. Plus, certain disorders frequently encompass similar symptoms and traits, making recognizing and therefore understanding them even more complicated. Let’s take being selfish and having a narcissistic personality disorder, for example. Because they overlap on such a huge scale, upon first glance, they do in fact seem indistinguishable to many of us. That being said, when you dig a little deeper, the differences do become more and more apparent.

I Have Fits Of Anger

Anyone who’s never felt anger can close this article! We’ve all felt this virulent emotion at one time or another 😡. It’s neither bad nor good, but it has the right to exist. It’s healthy to feel angry when you’re betrayed or a victim of an injustice. However, when anger attacks are recurrent, it’s good to learn how to control them. When anger hurts others or ourselves, it becomes a problem.

I’m Scared Of Failure

“I won’t manage it”, “I can’t do it”… I often say this because I doubt my abilities tremendously. Being so negative allows me to calm my fear of failure a bit. By doing nothing, I don’t run the risk of failing. I prefer to do nothing and remain in a state of waiting, for fear of not succeeding. So I procrastinate, thinking about the fact that I didn’t take the plunge out of anxiety. How can I overcome this fear to really start doing things?

Why I Hate Conflict And What I Need To Do To Face It

As soon as I feel tension build up with someone close to me, I take flight. I don’t like conflict, even if I don’t agree with the other person, I run from it. As a result, I keep it all inside of me, which can generate a lot of annoyance. Rather than this eating away at us from the inside, we need to learn to overcome this fear of conflict to make our voice heard. Why do we run away from conflict? How can we overcome this fear? Here are some explanations.

What Are The Signs That You Are Unhappy?

I sometimes feel bad, I don’t have the energy anymore… When we encounter financial, family, or other difficulties, as well as serious events such as bereavement, we accumulate psychological wounds. We can be resilient and move on, but we can also be overwhelmed by a growing sense of unease. There’s no shame in feeling bad psychologically, it happens to us all. However, spotting the signs of unhappiness enables us to be alert and to take care of our mental health.

8 Reasons Why Millennials Feel So Lost

If you ever find yourself watching the news or reading traditional journalism outlets, you’ll no doubt have picked up on the bad rep that millennials get. That’s right, we millennials (those of us who were born between 1981 – 1996) are often criticized for being ‘woke’, overly sensitive, entitled, and lazy. Now, isn’t that a bunch of adjectives you’d instantly like to forget! As you can probably tell, I don’t agree with the evaluation regarding our age group and am here to explain why we feel so lost and disconnected.

Why Do We Like Being Scared?

Making up ghost stories, talking about horrible legends, wanting to talk about spirits… I think we all did it when we were children. Even as adults, if we like watching horror films or documentaries about serial killers, it’s because we love scaring ourselves! 😱 However, the question we may ask ourselves is why we like being scared? There are neuropsychological and sociological reasons behind this attraction. All will be explained!

How To Get Rid Of Your Horrid Complexes

Legs too fat, lips too small, scars or even shyness, whether it’s physical or psychological, complexes often have the bad taste of spoiling our lives and making us unhappy. But we won’t let them do that to us! We’re worth more than that, right?

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde