6 Tips on how to support a loved one who is being abused by a narcissistic pervert
How to successfully go about helping a friend escape from the clutches of a toxic relationship...
1. Open your friends’ eyes to their reality
If a victim stays with her abuser, it is because she does not perceive him as such. If she isn’t able to see the level of danger linked to her situation, she may even try to find ways to fix her partner instead of facing the reality.
2. Help people become aware of their needs
In a gentle and roundabout way, getting victims to confide in you will lead them to question themselves and realize the toxicity of their situation. A commando operation would be too brutal, so avoid using crude words such as manipulator, narcissistic traits or controlling.
3. Facts need to be taken into account
When awareness floods in, moments of relapse will still be frequent and doubt will surge. The victim will wonder whether or not she’s exaggerating or even if she’s crazy. This is therefore when our friends need to be brought back down to earth with emotional support of course.
Here, patience is the key, because victims cannot be rushed into making decisions.
4. Be there no matter what
Our friends may attempt to push us away because the pain and denial are too overwhelming. Although these reactions might be hurtful, as support systems, we need to be strong and present during these moments. Being resentful and abandoning them will not help the situation.
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5. Believe them and avoid judging
After experiencing such physical and psychological abuse, the victim needs strong, unwavering support. Listening and understand her emotions is the best solution. Blaming her for her passivity will only break her more.
6. Help victims begin the process of reconstruction
In order to see the light at the end of the tunnel, she will surely have to take legal or psychological steps. When the time comes to rebuild, being accompanied by a professional who is well-informed on the subject is a lifesaver. This will allow the victim to develop her self-confidence again, and to understand why she is attracted to this type of relationship, so as not to repeat this pattern.
Editor’s opinion – Isolation is the worst solution
Victims often tend to be withdrawn because of the shame and embarrassment that they feel and this behavior only glorifies a narcissistic pervert, who aims to isolate his partner. After the awareness and the steps mentioned above, it is necessary to help your friend or loved one to rebuild herself. A good first step is to remind her of her qualities, her kindness, her importance, her values and her skills. The idea is to rebuild her confidence and accompany her onher journey to rediscovering herself. You can also encourage her to re-enroll in activities that she enjoys. However, depending on the extent of the damage, getting professional help will be even more effective.
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