Even if you’ve spent years with your partner, any relationship has the potential to veer of the normal and healthy route. If you believe you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, we're here to guide you through the next steps to take. Although it requires immense strength, we know you're capable of taking back control! Discover how you can get out of your toxic relationship and find happiness once again.
What is a toxic relationship?
A relationship should make you feel good about yourself, but if it makes you feel terrible and brings you down then there’s a problem. Toxic relationships are characterized by manipulative partners who make you feel bad and who ultimately destroy your self-confidence and esteem. Relationships based on emotional abuse and controlling tendances are unfortunately much more common than we think. Yes, the saying is true: love makes you blind. However, a relationship should not make you unhappy or negatively impact your mental health.
Yes, in a relationship, it is important to consider your partner's desires before making a decision, but it shouldn't be a one-way street. If you have to ask your man's permission to do something, and you feel like you're not free, this is a sign of a toxic or even abusive relationship.
3 Signs you're in a toxic relationship
Although they often take time to come about and develop, when they finally do, they definitely hit hard. Here are some of the top signs you are in one:
1) You feel constantly put down
If your partner always seems to want to change you and is never really satisfied with you, then this is an important sign that you need to break things off and walk away. Being put down by your toxic partner and made to feel bad or inadequate about your appearance is also a sign that things aren't healthy between you. When you can’t be yourself, it’s never a good sign. If your partner talks down to you and is always negative about you, it's to ruin your confidence in yourself. If this is the case, you need to get away from this relationship because you are being manipulated.
2) You feel isolated
If your partner seems to want to take you away from your friends and family, then the bad news is, your relationship isn’t one that will help you grow. If you're unable to see your loved ones without it sparking world war 3, because of a so-called 'lack of trust', red flags should appear. Indeed, him becoming jealous of your close friends and family should also set off alarm bells. In a healthy relationship, you manage to find a good balance between your relationship, your friends and your family. You maintain an active social life, as this is very important to your well-being. If your partner won't let you see certain people or gives you the cold shoulder when you go out, there's a problem.
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3) You always fear disappointing your partner
If you constantly worry about disappointing him and are always anxious about not being able to live up to his demands, then there’s a problem. If you find yourself putting your partner’s wishes before your own then there are definitely some deep-rooted issues that need to be addressed. Does your partner not like certain aspects of your personality or certain passions or interests? If the person you are with doesn't like you the way you are, you can be sure that they don't deserve you.
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How to escape from an unhealthy relationship in 3 essential steps
1) Recognize that you’re the victim
You can only ignore obvious signs that you are the victim of manipulative abuse for so long. If you identify yourself in any of the signs evoked above then you are in a toxic relationship and need to be aware of it.
2) Put an end to it for good and walk away
Whether you’re dating a manipulator, a narcissist pervert or a passive aggressive person, the bottom line is your partner needs help. If your partner categorically refuses the option of getting help, then unfortunately, you need to end the relationship immediately and walk away. Putting yourself first is essential. Although walking out is tough, it needs to be done and will benefit you mutually.
3) Rebuild yourself gradually
After years of being under the control of a toxic partner, having the sentiment of losing part of yourself is completely normal. Developing affectionate dependence towards your partner is virtually inevitable, but know that you’ll eventually learn to love life once again!
Editor's advice: Start talking about your experiences
Realizing that we are in an unhealthy relationship that is indeed damaging to our self-esteem is definitely a difficult process to go through. When we've been under a manipulator's thumb for years, scenarios and certain behaviors often become normalized parts of the relationship. That being said, the first step to freeing yourself and reconnecting with who you really are is talking.
Stepping out of the silence and communicating with people you trust will help open your eyes to your situation and will no doubt give you the moral support you need to take the next steps. Sharing what you've been through will help you put things into perspective and could even be the key to convincing you that you deserve better. Once you start to realize what you've experienced, you'll never want to put yourself through it again and this awakening will be extremely positive for your future love stories.
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