10 Signs The Narcissist Discarding Phase Has Been Activated

Last updated by Katie M.

The most important thing to understand when dealing with a narcissist is that their reign of terror won't last forever. Now, whilst their torment underway, it will no doubt be one of the most harrowing things you can mentally go through. However, when the abuser decides they've had enough of you, they'll halt their horrific abuse in a heartbeat and look for someone else. People with narcissistic personality disorders are constantly on the lookout for new prey and when they find someone who fills their criteria, they'll move into the discarding phase of their plan. After all, they aren't very eco-friendly, their motto is out with the old, in with the new!


For this kind of abuser, once they have totally broken your confidence, wrecked your mental health, and isolated you from your entourage, they'll get bored by you and decide that they need to move on to fresher pastures. Essentially, a narcissist discards you when you no longer represent a challenge for them. When they have total control over you, they'll subsequently look for someone else to metaphorically break in order to fulfill their sick tendencies.

10 Signs a narcissist is ready to leave you

1) Your abuser will become even meaner

In any typical cycle of abuse, things get a lot worse before they ever get better. Now, when a male narcissist finally decides that he is done with his victim and wants to move on and start afresh, they'll become ever viler than beforehand. Here, the insults will increase tenfold, as well as the shaming, criticism, and gaslightingAfter all, it might be the end might be near, but that's not to say that these devious manipulators will want you to be able to move on with your life confidently. Instead, they'll want to completely destroy any shred of confidence you have left, to ensure you'll never be able to truly move on from your ordeal. In short, they will no longer want you, but that doesn't mean they'll want anyone else to have you either...

2) They'll throw threats around

Despite them already moving on, these abusers just won't be content in letting you leave amicably, and instead of apologizing for all the pain they've put you through, they'll threaten you in order to obtain your silence. Whilst these dangerous characters are totally at ease with their toxic personalities in a private setting, in public, they have a reputation to protect, and can't afford to be exposed. In reality, they'll do whatever it takes to keep you quiet and therefore continue their reign of evil. Ultimately, if other people knew how sadistic they really were, they'd never be able to trap new victims.

3) They'll delete you from social media

In their insular worlds, deleting you from social media is one of the biggest punishments that exists. For folks with narcissistic tendencies, social media is key to feeding their egos. They love showing off to their followers and making them believe that their lives are fantastic, whereas, in reality, it is just a simple act of smoke and mirrors. Whenever they delete anyone, it's a sign that they no longer consider them to be important or worthy enough to see what they perceive as great content.

4) The love bombing will wear off

Whereas before, they'd shower you with compliments and gifts, during the narcissist discard phase, you'll be lucky if they even bother to acknowledge you. Here, you'll definitely feel a real difference in their communication, and they'll certainly appear colder, even to the point of seeming uninterested and indifferent.

>>> Read up on love bombing here.

5) You'll hardly ever see or hear from them

Once they have decided they are done with their victims, they'll move into ghosting mode, meaning you won't hear from them for excessive periods of time. Plus, they'll no longer harass you to find out who you are with and what time you'll be back. Furthermore, your weekly date nights and special routines will become a thing of the distant past.

6) They let you see your friends and family

When their abusive tendencies are in full swing, they typically forbid their victims from seeing their loved ones, in order to remain in full control over them. Here, their aim is to limit all outsider's points of view and opinions on your relationship. They like to keep contact with the outside world to a strict minimum so that no one will pick up on what's really going on. However, when they have decided to move on, they'll no longer pay attention to who chat to and will even stop reading your text messages.

7) Jealousy becomes a non-issue

When a narcissist abuser only has eyes for you, you can expect them to get jealous over anything and everything, trust me, even a smile from your local barista will set them off. However, when they decide that they are finished with you, they’ll become totally laid-back when other guys attempt to flirt with you.

8) They'll openly compliment and flirt with other girls

Now, these cunning folks don’t do anything by halves, and they certainly won’t hold back in getting the message across when they no longer want you. You can therefore expect them to flirt with other girls at every opportunity. After all, they never pass up on an occasion to make you feel bad about yourself, so why would they start just as your relationship is breaking down?

9) They'll start up a smear campaign

Here, they won’t hold back, and because they are such master manipulators and expert gaslighters, they’ll lie and fabricate horrible rumors about how toxic and dangerous YOU are. In fact, the victims of narcissistic abuse are typically made out to be the perpetrators of it.

10) They'll blame you for everything

Everything will be your fault and try as you might to make them understand their shortcomings, they’ll never be willing to reconsider their behavior, or apologize for it. The truth is, for these folks, they are never in the wrong, which explains why they typically place their own feelings above everyone else’s. Attempting to reason with them is therefore useless because they, unfortunately, don’t want to change.

Editor's opinion - The narcissist discard phase is a blessing

Although the discard phase may seem cruel, it is in fact a blessing in disguise in the long run. It gives you the opportunity to move on serenely and to definitively break off all contact with your abuser. It will be a period in which you'll rediscover yourself and what you are capable of.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!


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Article presented by Katie M.

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