Now, I’d never really advocate falling in love with an emotionally abusive vulture, because I firmly believe that narcissists are incapable of enjoying healthy relationships. But, I know that at times we can’t control what we feel, especially when it comes to love, so I want to warn you about the dangers and sources of potential heartbreak caused by loving a narcissist. And, you’ve no doubt probably already guessed it, but, cheating is certainly at the top of my list!
Narcissists demand loyalty, but can never offer it back in return
If you’ve read any of my previous articles about narcissists, you’ll know that I have a bad track record of choosing them as romantic partners. Although my experiences seem tragic, they do give me the certitude that faithfulness isn’t one of their fortes. To give you a glimpse into my backstory, my toxic exes demanded I remained faithful, and restricted me from seeing my lifelong male friends, yet, I couldn’t expect the same from them. No, in fact, their frivolous attitudes meant they loved flirting and turning on the charm for anyone who would give them the time of day, and stroke their egos. Their hypocritical behavior was something that made me feel terrible about myself, yet I was so convinced of their love for me that I simply accepted it. In essence, I was brainwashed and didn’t realize that I was putting my mental health at stake with the manipulation and gaslighting I was subjected to. My exes wanted to keep me around as their plaything, but that didn’t stop them texting others girls, sleeping with them either…
>>> Discover the personality types that narcissists target
True love doesn’t exist for a narcissist
I know that I’m about to shatter the fairy tale for many of you, but bad boys, and in this case narcissists, don’t change, despite how much love and commitment you give them. As little girls, we all dream of running off into the sunset with a rebel who suddenly transforms into Mr Perfect the moment we confess our feelings for each other. Unfortunately, this fantasy couldn’t be any further from the stark reality, especially where toxic personalities are concerned.
Love is an alien concept for them
As for narcissists, they don’t believe that love exists, and certainly aren’t motivated by the prospect of finding someone they can spend their lives with. Now, I hear you asking, if they don’t want to find a healthy relationship, what do they want? Well, as terrifying as it may seem, these folks are quite happy to be alone, except when they believe someone can benefit them either professionally or financially. These vampire-like personalities will only ever ‘give’ themselves to people who can help them along, on the condition that they are also weak and agreeable, aka, easy to control.
Cheating is normal for them
It’s fair to say that narcissists aren’t cut out for relationships and will ultimately always have their heads turned when they are with someone. Their lack of empathy and self-entitlement means they believe they can do and get whatever they want, without a single thought for the people they hurt. These characters are like children in a sense, they are instantly attracted to new and shiny things, well in this case people, which explains why their heads are turned with such ease. A narcissist believes they deserve the best in all realms of life, and won’t hesitate to upgrade their partner if someone better (prettier or more successful) comes along.
How do you know if a narcissist is cheating?
Narcissists are very sly characters, plus they are experts when it comes to covering their tracks. Their sneakiness mixed with their frequent gaslighting means that their unfaithfulness can be hard to detect, however, certain signs don’t lie. Here are 5 signs your narcissistic partner is seeing someone else behind your back.
- 1) He randomly cancels plans on you - Canceling is completely out of character for these control freaks, who love planning everything they do meticulously.
- 2) He wants to try new things in bed - The truth is, these folks love their routines, and aren’t exactly spontaneous enough to try new things, be it sexually or in general.
- 3) He’s recently changed his phone’s password - If this is the case, he is definitely hiding something, and that something is probably nudes or sexts…
- 4) He starts paying attention to his appearance - If your narcissistic partner has transformed into an Adonis in the matter of weeks, then something is up.
- 5) He gets irritated easily - If he lashes out and is evasive whenever you ask him where he’s going, or who he is meeting, then you are definitely being cheated on.
How can you tell if a narcissist is lying?
Narcissists can be skilled at lying and manipulating others to get what they want. However, there are some signs that may indicate when a narcissist is lying:
- Inconsistencies: Narcissists may struggle to keep their lies straight, so you may notice inconsistencies in their story or details that don't add up.
- Lack of empathy: Narcissists tend to be self-centered and lack empathy for others, so they may not show any concern or emotion when lying.
- Grandiosity: Narcissists often exaggerate their accomplishments or abilities, so their lies may be grandiose or seem too good to be true.
- Deflection: If you confront a narcissist about their lies, they may try to deflect the conversation or blame others for their behavior.
- Gaslighting: Narcissists may try to make you doubt your own perception of reality, leading you to question whether they are lying or not.
It's important to remember that not all individuals with narcissistic traits are compulsive liars, and not all liars are narcissists. However, if you suspect that someone with narcissistic tendencies is lying to you, it's essential to trust your instincts and proceed with caution.
Editor’s opinion - My ex was a serial cheat, but I managed to leave
Empaths such as myself just aren’t compatible with guys who have narcissistic personality disorders, because we always find ourselves forgiving the unforgivable. I should know because I’ve been there, done it and even bought the t shirt. It took me months to build up the courage and end things definitively with him, but I’m so glad I eventually did! I’d managed to brush off his incessant flirting with other woman, secret late night phone calls and endless dating apps for years, until one day I decided that I deserved better and left. If you are also in this situation, know that you can and absolutely NEED to do the same!
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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