Any form of manipulation is devastating, but some are more difficult to notice and acknowledge than others, and unfortunately, love bombing falls into that category. When we meet someone with whom we instantly click, we are often blindsided by the attention and affection they smother us with. Now, I don’t want to tar everyone with the same brush, but in my experience, if someone I was dating seemed too good to be true, that often turned out to be the case… That’s right, although I believed I was in a healthy relationship, the reality was completely the opposite. After all, how could my kind and loving ex be ill-intentioned? He was, at the time, the nicest guy I’d ever met! Love bombers are in a league of their own when it comes to manipulation, which explains why people with narcissistic personality disorders are frequently guilty of wrecking their victim’s mental health in such an unforgiving way.
10 Signs you are a victim of love bombing
Discover the biggest indications of this toxic covert abuse.
1) Your partner pays you hundreds of compliments
Now, compliments are great at any stage of a relationship, but when you are constantly being bombarded with them, this is definitely a red flag. Narcissists typically use compliments in an attempt to influence their victims and to ultimately make them reliant on them. In the long term, a narcissist wants their prey to look for their approval on every matter of their life, and will do this by becoming the principal influencer when it comes to their self-confidence and assurance.
2) You get endless calls and texts
This is a warning sign to watch out for in any realm of life, but especially when it comes to dating. Now, we are all constantly hooked on social media for example, yet that doesn’t mean inundating someone with calls and messages is okay. This goes for seemingly cute messages too!
>>> Find out if a narcissist can be faithful.
3) You are often lavished with gifts
Let’s face it, who doesn’t love being spoiled from time to time? The problem is, when buying gifts becomes a habit, things can take a turn towards toxicity because when the pure sentiments aren’t there, it’s as if your partner wants to buy you. In other words, gifts can be used as emotional blackmail.
4) Your partner always wants to be around you
This is perhaps one of the most obvious signs of love bombing out there, yet despite it seeming blatant, it can be misconstrued, as deemed as adorable instead of controlling. Now, spending time with your partner is great, but it’s equally important to maintain your own life too. After all, even when we are taken, we all need time alone.
5) Your man wants to move very quickly
If your boyfriend tells you he loves you after 2 weeks, then alarm bells ought to be ringing at a deafening volume!!!
6) He wears away at your boundaries
Having boundaries is essential in love, and if someone tries to break them down and encourages you to cast them to one side, you need to head for the hills. Even if your partner is all sweetness and light with you, you should NEVER in any circumstance have to set aside your principles and beliefs.
7) You feel pressured to act the way they want you to
Many love bombers try to impose their own standards on their victims and often pressurize them to live up to their requirements. In reality, it’s as if they have created a relentless mold and are prepared to bully their partner into it. Yes, you’ve probably already guessed that they consider their partners are their playthings.
8) Communicating with your SO is always so intense
In my experience, I always felt extremely drained after the simplest of conversations with my ex. He would always make things so complicated to the point where I felt like I was constantly being backed into a corner and obliged to defend my point of view.
>>> Discover the power of positive communication in relationships
9) They say what you want to hear
Love bombers and narcissists are the biggest sweet talkers out there and trust me, they will literally say anything to get their own way, no matter how ludicrous it is. They’ll promise you the earth and so much more, but unfortunately, everything they say is based on a lie...
10) The PDA often goes overboard
The hugs, the kisses, and the handholding are all just a bit much, right? Being affectionate is one thing, but piling on the PDA at any given moment is unhealthy and a little intimidating too, especially when it feels forced and unnatural.
What to do if someone is love bombing you? - 5 Strategies to handle the abuse
We are all fairly receptive to flattery and when we are showered with gifts and compliments over a significant amount of time, we start to lower our guard and become blissfully unaware of our manipulator’s true intentions. Although, when we cotton onto them, there are ways to take back control.
- 1) Refuse the gifts - Make it clear that you don’t need to be spoiled 24/7. You are an independent woman and if you want something, you’ll buy it for yourself.
- 2) Explain your concerns - Communication is the most important part of any relationship, so don’t hold back and be sure to share what you feel.
- 3) Establish boundaries - Setting ground rules will certainly help you figure out whether it’s true love.
- 4) Catch them off guard - When they are least expecting it, ask them to point out one of your flaws, and then analyze their reaction and response. No matter how much they feel for you, they can’t love every single thing about you.
- 5) Don’t let them become clingy - Maintaining friendships outside your relationship will ensure your support system remains steady.
Editor’s opinion - Wolves dressed in sheep’s clothing
Love bombing can be hard to pick up on because the perpetrators hide their real motives behind layers of false sweetness. Indeed, they are great actors and will go to extreme lengths to hide mask their real intentions and disguise what they are really capable of. That being said, just because they sugarcoat their actions, it doesn’t mean they are any less harmful and damaging for our mental health. These folks operate within the depths of the shadows, but that’s not to say they can’t be detected thanks to open communication with our entourages.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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I have just ended a 2 month relationship with a guy I met on holiday. I thought was the one. He was very good looking and totally my type. 1. He told me he saw a fortune teller and she told him he’d meet me. And oher weird soul mate stuff. 2. In the first week he confessed his undying love for me. Said I love you and in exaggeration. We we in a FB Relationship. 3. Told me I am his forever. He will make me his forever. We will die together. OTT Complimants and staring at me the whole time. 4. Told me I am the most important person in his life even more important than his own family inl children and he would do anything for me. Seriously WTAF!!?? 5. This is a 48 year old man btw - He said if I wanted to get married he’d marry me tomorrow. 6. Told me I am Gorgeous. I am the most beautiful women hes ever dated. His Body is all mine. 7.Treated me like an abolute princess. Perfect Gentleman. 8. Paid for everything . Bought me gifts. Drove me home (2hrs) 9. Promised me holidays and expensive gifts. 10. Said he put a spell on me. WTF?! 10. Phoned me about 10 times or more a day from 5am till after 10pm. 11. Called me his wife!!??!!!! 12. On our one month anniversary he drove two hours to knock on my door to see me. I WAS IN MY PYJAMAS!! 13. Had photos taken and printed of us and hung up all over the wall and printed some for my flat too. I saw this as a red flag ended it but now his true colours are really coming out :(. Going through emotional hell.