How Narcissists Treat Their Exes: 6 Shocking Things They Do To Them

Now, a narcissist will certainly never win boyfriend or husband of the year, but when their feelings are hurt and their partner has ended things, they crank up the intensity level of their evilness. Their immaturity and need for revenge mean they are incapable of respecting the decision to end things, and will begin to treat their past lovers in an even more demonic way.

6 Things narcissists do to their exes just after a breakup 🤔

1) Narcissists dip in and out of their exes' lives

Narcissists are anything but predictable, and they love to keep their exes on their toes by regularly ghosting them and popping back up in their lives. At certain points, they’ll bombard their ex-partners with messages (they'll turn to love bombing) telling them how much they miss them, whereas, at others, they’ll give them the silent treatment for weeks on end. The instability they inflict on their partner means they remain in control and are constantly in the driver’s seat by picking and choosing when to communicate.

>>> Discover the reasons ghosters always come back

2) The narcissist will try to become friends with them

They’ll no doubt claim that they don’t want any drama, and will insist they want to be amicable about things moving forward. By reinforcing the idea that they want to stay friends, they are actively leaving the door open to getting back together whenever please. The truth is, their sense of superiority means they believe that they can restart relationships whenever, regardless of what has happened.

3) A narcissist ex will flirt

Flirting involves toying with people’s emotions and exciting their curiosity, and it’s a field that self-obsessed narcissists excel in. They love feeling sexy and wanted because it boosts their ego and sense of self-importance. Plus, by flirting with their ex, they’ll reinforce their puppet master role and therefore believe they are the architects of their future. 

>>> Read; Is flirting cheating?

4) They’ll spread lies about their exes

By moving on to the darker side of a narcissist’s personality, we soon realize that they are extremely bitter exes and will always attempt to seek revenge. Now, they are never even slightly concerned about hurting people’s feelings or remorseful about their actions, no, they are more worried about saving face. Indeed, preserving their reputation is so important to them that they become even more obsessed with their ego and will make up lies in order to do so. Plus, nothing is out of bounds for them, that do anything they deem useful to get back at their exes.

5) They’ll play mind games

Narcissists are well known for playing mind games because they help to reinforce their hold over their current or past victims. They’ll resort to love bombing, self-esteem reduction, and emotional manipulation to keep their ex under the thumb. The truth is, these games send subliminal messages to the victims that they’ll never truly break free and get their lives back. Here, we are dealing with emotional torturers who will stop at nothing to crush people that they believe have betrayed them.

6) They’ll blackmail them

Whether they have compromising text messages or photos of their exes, they’ll use whatever material they have against them, and of course they’ll take pleasure in seeing them squirm. They get their sick kicks from making threats and will use whatever they have to get their past lovers to do exactly what they want, which means breaking the cycle of abuse can be excessively tough.

Is my ex a narcissist? - Here are 10 signs he is 😈

Love is definitely a blinding emotion and can be very confusing for our emotions. When we are with someone, it can be hard to see their flaws and even tougher to pick up on their bad behavior, especially where manipulation and gaslighting are concerned. Plus, narcissists don’t exactly parade around with a badge on declaring their personality disorder. If you are recently fresh out of a relationship and have doubts about your ex flame, here are the signs that your ex is a narcissist.

1) He was the one who decided when we saw each other.

When you made offers, he declined. Often he’d say he had a lot of work on, but preferred to take care of things from A-Z anyway.

2) When you spoke to him about how you felt, he cut the conversation short.

He said some pretty hurtful phrases: if I like you, it's not for your intelligence, or you're stupid, you're fat, and even, you have a big nose. Always on the tone of the fun so that it went down better.

3) He never introduced you to his family or his friends.

You now wonder whether they even know you existed.

4) He talked about the future, but never included you in his plans.

You were always an afterthought in everything.

5) His words and actions that don't add up.

For example, he told you that we were in a relationship but never acted as if you were.

6) His past was a mystery

He never really spoke about his life, his past relationships. You hardly knew what he did with his days or even those long evenings when you were without news.

7) They had an excessive need for admiration

Did your ex constantly seek validation and admiration from you and others? Narcissists have an insatiable need for praise and often fish for compliments. They might have basked in the spotlight, always wanting to be the center of attention, and felt entitled to special treatment.

8) They lacked empathy

One of the hallmark traits of narcissism is a lack of empathy. Reflect on your relationship: Did your ex struggle to understand or care about your feelings? Narcissists often dismiss or belittle the emotions of others, focusing solely on their own needs and desires.

9. They had a grandiose sense of self-importance

Did your ex have an inflated sense of their own importance? Narcissists often believe they are superior to others and may exaggerate their achievements and talents. They might have had an unrealistic sense of entitlement, expecting you and others to cater to their whims.

10) They had difficulty handling criticism

How did your ex react to criticism or setbacks? Narcissists typically have a fragile ego and can become defensive, angry, or even vengeful when faced with criticism. They might have blamed others for their problems and refused to take responsibility for their actions.

Be sure to read these articles too;

• Examples of text messages a narcissist sends
• What will a narcissist say to get you back?