Now, a narcissist will certainly never win boyfriend or husband of the year, but when their feelings are hurt and their partner has ended things, they crank up the intensity level of their evilness. Their immaturity and need for revenge mean they are incapable of respecting the decision to end things, and will begin to treat their past lovers in an even more demonic way.
6 Things narcissists do to their exes just after a breakup 🤔
1) Narcissists dip in and out of their exes' lives
Narcissists are anything but predictable, and they love to keep their exes on their toes by regularly ghosting them and popping back up in their lives. At certain points, they’ll bombard their ex-partners with messages (they'll turn to love bombing) telling them how much they miss them, whereas, at others, they’ll give them the silent treatment for weeks on end. The instability they inflict on their partner means they remain in control and are constantly in the driver’s seat by picking and choosing when to communicate.
>>> Discover the reasons ghosters always come back
2) The narcissist will try to become friends with them
They’ll no doubt claim that they don’t want any drama, and will insist they want to be amicable about things moving forward. By reinforcing the idea that they want to stay friends, they are actively leaving the door open to getting back together whenever please. The truth is, their sense of superiority means they believe that they can restart relationships whenever, regardless of what has happened.
3) A narcissist ex will flirt
Flirting involves toying with people’s emotions and exciting their curiosity, and it’s a field that self-obsessed narcissists excel in. They love feeling sexy and wanted because it boosts their ego and sense of self-importance. Plus, by flirting with their ex, they’ll reinforce their puppet master role and therefore believe they are the architects of their future.
>>> Read; Is flirting cheating?
4) They’ll spread lies about their exes
By moving on to the darker side of a narcissist’s personality, we soon realize that they are extremely bitter exes and will always attempt to seek revenge. Now, they are never even slightly concerned about hurting people’s feelings or remorseful about their actions, no, they are more worried about saving face. Indeed, preserving their reputation is so important to them that they become even more obsessed with their ego and will make up lies in order to do so. Plus, nothing is out of bounds for them, that do anything they deem useful to get back at their exes.
5) They’ll play mind games
Narcissists are well known for playing mind games because they help to reinforce their hold over their current or past victims. They’ll resort to love bombing, self-esteem reduction, and emotional manipulation to keep their ex under the thumb. The truth is, these games send subliminal messages to the victims that they’ll never truly break free and get their lives back. Here, we are dealing with emotional torturers who will stop at nothing to crush people that they believe have betrayed them.
6) They’ll blackmail them
Whether they have compromising text messages or photos of their exes, they’ll use whatever material they have against them, and of course they’ll take pleasure in seeing them squirm. They get their sick kicks from making threats and will use whatever they have to get their past lovers to do exactly what they want, which means breaking the cycle of abuse can be excessively tough.
💡 FAQ: What to do when my narcissist ex tries to contact my family 💡
Dealing with a narcissist ex contacting your family can be challenging. Here are some steps to consider:
- Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate with your family about the situation and ask them to respect your boundaries by limiting or ceasing contact with your ex.
- Stay Calm and Composed: Narcissists often seek to provoke reactions. Remain calm and avoid engaging in any drama they may try to create.
- Document Everything: Keep a record of any communications or actions taken by your ex. This documentation can be useful if you need to take legal action.
- Legal Advice: If your ex’s behavior becomes harassing or threatening, seek legal advice. A restraining order or other legal measures may be necessary to protect yourself and your family.
- Communicate with Your Family: Explain the dynamics of your past relationship with your family. Help them understand why it’s important to maintain distance from your ex.
By taking these steps, you can help protect yourself and your family from further manipulation and stress.
Is my ex a narcissist? - Here are 10 signs he is 😈
Love is definitely a blinding emotion and can be very confusing for our emotions. When we are with someone, it can be hard to see their flaws and even tougher to pick up on their bad behavior, especially where manipulation and gaslighting are concerned. Plus, narcissists don’t exactly parade around with a badge on declaring their personality disorder. If you are recently fresh out of a relationship and have doubts about your ex flame, here are the signs that your ex is a narcissist.
1) He was the one who decided when we saw each other.
When you made offers, he declined. Often he’d say he had a lot of work on, but preferred to take care of things from A-Z anyway.
2) When you spoke to him about how you felt, he cut the conversation short.
He said some pretty hurtful phrases: if I like you, it's not for your intelligence, or you're stupid, you're fat, and even, you have a big nose. Always on the tone of the fun so that it went down better.
3) He never introduced you to his family or his friends.
You now wonder whether they even know you existed.
4) He talked about the future, but never included you in his plans.
You were always an afterthought in everything.
5) His words and actions that don't add up.
For example, he told you that we were in a relationship but never acted as if you were.
6) His past was a mystery
He never really spoke about his life, his past relationships. You hardly knew what he did with his days or even those long evenings when you were without news.
7) They had an excessive need for admiration
Did your ex constantly seek validation and admiration from you and others? Narcissists have an insatiable need for praise and often fish for compliments. They might have basked in the spotlight, always wanting to be the center of attention, and felt entitled to special treatment.
8) They lacked empathy
One of the hallmark traits of narcissism is a lack of empathy. Reflect on your relationship: Did your ex struggle to understand or care about your feelings? Narcissists often dismiss or belittle the emotions of others, focusing solely on their own needs and desires.
9. They had a grandiose sense of self-importance
Did your ex have an inflated sense of their own importance? Narcissists often believe they are superior to others and may exaggerate their achievements and talents. They might have had an unrealistic sense of entitlement, expecting you and others to cater to their whims.
10) They had difficulty handling criticism
How did your ex react to criticism or setbacks? Narcissists typically have a fragile ego and can become defensive, angry, or even vengeful when faced with criticism. They might have blamed others for their problems and refused to take responsibility for their actions.
💡FAQ 💡 Can you rebuild yourself after a relationship with a narcissistic pervert?
You know the answer to that question, and you already know what I'm going to say! Yes, of course it's possible. The first key to overcoming it is as simple as that, and certainly easier said than done: regain your self-esteem 💪. I'm not even talking about good self-esteem, just relearning to value yourself as an individual.
But why? As you have no doubt read on other dedicated websites and blogs, a narcissistic pervert always works in the same way. He isolates you, creates a vacuum around you and, above all, constantly puts you down. Whatever you do, whatever you say, whatever you try, it's never good enough. You're no good at anything... In the end, all you can see are your flaws, and you're left with the feeling that you're no longer capable of anything, that you're no longer worth anything.
💡FAQ 💡 Do narcissists miss their exes?
This certainly isn’t an easy question to answer because absolutely nothing is straightforward with these bullies. Whilst on paper, narcissists are incapable of loving anyone other than themselves, they struggle with the idea of change, so when someone they previously relied on suddenly disappears, they can feel sad, although they won’t admit it. These slippery snakes need a steady network of people around them to be able to feed into their grandiose ideas and theories. Now, they won’t miss their exes romantically, but they will miss being able to manipulate and toy with them.
💡FAQ 💡 What do narcissists say about their exes?
Let’s be honest, a narcissistic person will never ever say anything positive about one of their ex-partners, and that’s simply because they want to pass themselves off as the victim. Narcissists won’t hesitate to tell their friends and family that their ex was a liar, a cheater, and manipulative. They’ll call them all the names under the sun in order to get people to believe that their ex was the toxic partner in the relationship. In fact, they’ll even go as far as to make up stories and lies about their behavior, and in some cases, they’ll switch roles in the story for an even more convincing delivery. In short, they’ll never be completely honest about what went on, and will never be very complimentary about their former partners either. After all, telling the truth would ultimately unmask them.
💡FAQ 💡 Do narcissists suffer after a breakup?
A narcissistic person may feel certain emotions after a breakup, but their reaction and suffering may differ from those of a non-narcissistic person. These folks often have a high self-perception, and find it difficult to accept or express vulnerable emotions such as sadness or emotional pain. Their priority is often to preserve their self-image and self-esteem.
After a breakup, a narcissist may:
- React with anger or rage: A break-up may be perceived as an affront to their ego and self-image. They may react angrily, seeking to discredit their ex-partner or blame themselves.
- Finding a new source of validation: To compensate for the loss of validation and admiration from their ex-partner, narcissists may look for a new target to fill this need.
- Devaluing themselves or dismissing the break-up: Some narcissists may minimize the importance of the past relationship or dismiss the break-up as insignificant to preserve their self-esteem.
- Use manipulative tactics: To regain control or punish their ex-partner, narcissists may use manipulative tactics such as gaslighting or victimization.
- Pretending indifference: To mask their vulnerability, some narcissists might feign indifference to the break-up, giving the impression of not being affected.
Editor’s opinion - Talk about your troublesIf you are still being emotionally toyed with by a bitter ex, then seeking support in the form of friends, a group, or even law enforcement is one of the best ways to ensure your safety. Opening up may be difficult, but it’s an essential step towards safeguarding your mental health.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy… Let’s do it here and now!
#BornToBeMe Connect with an advisor |
Be sure to read these articles too;
I moved out & left my ex after 30 years together...Part was marriage...He had us get divorced while he held my hand & we have 2 beautiful girls...I was over him & he took revenge on me...He had me fall for him again...He took me fishing, bought me things, opened & closed the doors for me...Then on the 4th of July I showed up at his house & I seen this van at his house & got a gut instinct that this was his girlfriend's...I go this is hers isn't it? He goes I tried to tell you...So I go I got something for you & I got our wedding ring put it in his hand & told him to shove it up his beep beep...Then I bolted in front of him & went straight up to her & told her she could have him...Then left...He has part of my family turned against me plus part of the town...My daughter told me don't let him win this time...He is trying to play mind games with me to get me to leave town...His sister tried for 30 years to split us up & she finally won...Bad part is I still love him but keeping my eyes peeled...He is with this girl & he has turned mean as a snake...I'm not going anywhere...Pray for me...He said she takes him to church...& he has got all weird & fake acting...At least when I was with him he was nice...That's bcuz he would abuse me & I knew how to dodge him to save face...
Karen 2 years ago
Sorry you gone through this I guess not only women go through this but us men too. Fortunately, it’s a lot of good man out there And of course, some good women as well It’s hard to deal specially if they’re narcissist My left after 27 years, brainwash my kids in trying to smear my name across the highway, social media Honestly, I don’t believe at this point do I anywhere because it hurts to much. But I hear you stay strong ignore them Focus on your kids win your kids. The universe never wrong, payback comes in full price karma is real. It is hard to focus on yourself because we are not narcissists because we are good people. I hope you’ll find a true love and person who adores you, for who you are believe and pray, and it will happen. 🤞🙏
Sergei 9 months ago