Navigating the choppy waters of single life is never easy, and the reality hits all of us at various stages. Finding out your ex slept with someone else following your breakup is always hard to swallow, but you must know that it is no reflection on you. Pain makes us act in strange ways and at times increases our insecurities.
Why your ex hooked up with someone else after your breakup - 10 Reasons
1) They were cheating on you beforehand
If your ex is able to jump into bed with someone straight after your breakup, then perhaps those suspicions you had whilst you were dating were actually founded. If you'd been together for a long time and your ex was happy to sleep with someone else, pretty much straight away, then you need to consider the fact that they weren't always exactly as faithful as they claimed. Perhaps those social media friends requests and secret hidden messages did in fact mean something after all. Even if it turns out that they were unfaithful, tell yourself that you are in the best situation possible now, and therefore rid of their toxicity.
2) They want revenge on you
If word gets back to you that your ex is on a hookup spree, then it may be because they are seeking to get revenge on you, and this is the only way they know-how. By dating other people, even though the wounds of their last relationship are still fresh, they are trying to prove a point, and that point is that their love life is active. Although hookups may seem pretty innocent, they are, in reality, ways for people to blissfully bury their feelings and overwhelming sadness.
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3) They want to jump back on the horse
Seeing new people after a breakup is synonymous with putting a metaphorical band-aid on your injuries. It may take away the pain temporarily, but it will never address the root of the problem. If your breakup was messy, it's only normal that your ex wants to get back out there into the big old dating world, and therefore prove to himself that he can do it and that he has something to offer too.
4) The intimacy is therapeutic
Let's face it, when we are hurting, we all crave a little intimacy in our lives. We all want to be held, hugged, kissed, and told that everything will work out no matter what. We need to have someone by our side who will fulfill our emotional and physical needs without ever judging us for what has happened in the past. Plus, we also feel the need, to be honest, and safe once again.
5) They want to boost their self-esteem
Going through a breakup is never easy, and can knock our confidence, especially when we are the one being dumped. Moving on afterward can be particularly tough when insults, reproaches, and criticisms have been thrown around in the buildup of going your separate ways. When your self-esteem is low, it's easy to go looking for people who will fawn over you, in an attempt to make yourself feel better.
6) They feel lost
Starting a new chapter at any point in life is complicated, yet when we aren't the action makers behind it, it can be difficult to accept and know what to do afterward. If your ex felt lost when things came to an end between you, they no doubt wanted to find refuge in someone else, as a way of reassuring themselves. After all, they do say that hookups are some of the best remedies for getting over people.
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7) They are looking for a new relationship
Some of us are simply relationship-type people and feel at our best when we are dating. In fact, some of us really struggle to be alone and constantly go looking for a new partner, as soon as our old relationship hits troubled waters. However, although it can be tempting to run into someone else's arms, never actually learning to love yourself on a solo, single basis can be troublesome for the future.
8) Their friends gave them that advice
Whenever a guy splits up with his girlfriend, the first piece of advice that his friends will give him is to go out, party, and find someone else. They'll convince him that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
9) Their pride has been hurt
Walking away from a long-term and stable relationship is often heartbreaking for many of us, and in many cases, it can crush the very little confidence and pride we had. If your ex dates immediately after you split up, then it could be that he is trying to boost his ego and prove a point to himself.
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10) They are unaware of how to verbalize their feelings
Guys struggle to express their feelings and often bury them under deep layers of bravado. In fact, the only way they feel comfortable expressing themselves is through their actions, which often lead them towards more pain and sorrow. By essentially acting out and having successive one-night stands, your ex is crying out for help.
Will sleeping with someone else help get over your ex?
Sleeping with another person after a separation helps to heal one's ego, to restore one's confidence, to revalue oneself, and feel desirable. But the benefits are often temporary, simply because these relationships cannot deeply heal the wound of abandonment, rejection, shame, guilt, or failure of the romantic relationship. Essentially, hooking up with someone just puts a band-Aid on a wound, furthermore, it entertains us, and often comforts us after the shock of the breakup.
But, this solution won't work for everyone because what pushes people to have sex, beyond a physiological need, are psycho-affective needs specific to each person. Thus, a person who associates sexuality with tenderness, feelings, and complicity, will not necessarily feel valued by a one-night stand. And be careful, by wanting to verify that we are still desirable, we can get caught up in the game. Because if, for example, it goes badly under the sheets with your new flame, your self-confidence, already weakened, can take another blow. When we lose something, we often try to replace it quickly to avoid suffering. But if we fall too quickly into the arms of someone else, our hearts and body may not follow.
Editor's opinion - Let this close the chapter
Splitting up and cutting someone out of your life forever is a tough move to make, however, it is a necessary one when it comes to protecting both your happiness and mental health. If your ex-partner is able to move along from your relationship so easily, then in hindsight, the relationship wasn't right for you. At times, hard situations make us realize what we need, and certainly what we no longer need in our lives.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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