How Do You Tell If A Guy Is Hurt After A Breakup & How To React

Last updated by Katie M.

As women, we have no doubt been told all our lives that men deal with things differently, especially where feelings are concerned, right? You’ve most probably even heard that women come from Venus, whereas men come from Mars? Well, beyond sexist clichés, our previous experiences in love are sufficient to prove that we don’t handle things in the same way, particularly when separation is involved. Discover the 10 signs your ex is heartbroken and not yet ready to leave your love story in the past.

How Do You Tell If A Guy Is Hurt After A Breakup & How To React

Societal pressure means that young boys are often taught to ‘suck their feelings up’ in an attempt to look tough and ‘manly’, yet unfortunately, these archaic expectations can be hard to shake, even in adulthood…  Because men are told they should never cry, many of them have difficult relationships with their own emotions, meaning it can be hard to read them, although, certain actions definitely speak louder than words.

10 Signs your ex is not over your breakup…

1) He attempts to call or text you

A breakup is never an easy decision to accept. Yet, when this brutal life change finally sinks in, the reality of a broken heart can make men lose their way, to the point where some guys even stalk you in an attempt to get you to change your mind. Many of us are reluctant to pour our hearts out, but a downtrodden guy won’t hesitate to bombard you with calls and texts to get you to change your mind. Although men are taught to run from emotional pain when they are hurting, they undoubtedly open their hearts.

>>> Read; My ex is calling me, what should I do?

2) Then, he blocks you on social media

After the initial bombardment and influx of undesired communication, the shock often wears off and turns into anger. When the post-breakup anger sinks in, hurt ex-boyfriends can take drastic decisions and decide to cut all ties with the past, so you shouldn’t be surprised to see your ex deleting you on social media and completely erase your past. After all, we all have to find ways to deal with the pain, and this social media tactic is a coping mechanism like any other.

3) His friends and family reach out to you

When your mutual friends and ex-in-laws reach out to you, this is a telltale sign that your ex-partner is really missing you, especially when they contact you to tell you how low they are feeling. Although, on the other hand, their reaching out could be seen as an orchestrated pity party tactic in an effort to get you back. Whatever happens, be sure to keep your wits about you.

4) He starts dating someone else soon after

Rebound relationships are the perfect band-aid disguises for broken hearts. Their only purpose is to convince people that they are over an ex and have totally moved on. Now, no matter how convincing this smoke and mirrors situation may seem, know that jumping from one relationship to the next is never a healthy move and instead simply an attempt at burying painful feelings.

5) He engages in destructive behaviors

Negative emotions frequently push us towards destructive behavior to distract us from the pain we are experiencing. Handling a breakup is never easy and can often trigger sleeping demons within people, especially if they feel lonely and misunderstood. From alcohol to drugs, when people are feeling low, even the biggest vices seem like options to mask and forget about the trauma.

6) He starts rumors about you

We all react differently when we are hurt. Whereas some people quickly get over heartbreak and seem to brush it off, others fall into a trap of spitefulness and do everything in their power to change the narrative and make themselves look better. For certain people, especially those with narcissistic traits, will do anything to save their reputation, even to the point of creating rumors and lies.

7) He creates a new online persona

Social media is a great way to let people know that you are living your best life, and many hurt exes will certainly not hold back in posting photos of themselves having great fun after the breakdown of their relationship. After all, their main motivation here is to make you jealous, so why wouldn’t they suddenly take dreamy trips away or eat in the fanciest restaurants?

8) You keep ‘randomly’ bumping into him

If you keep seeing your ex in YOUR favorite coffee shop, you know, the one he found ridiculously overpriced, then this is a telltale sign he is not over you. If he goes out of his way to create allegedly chance encounters with you, then you can be sure he is feeling sad with regard to the demise of your love story.

9) He apologizes non-stop

I mean, could there be a clearer sign that he’s having trouble moving forward than this? If your ex puts all his cards on the table and offers you a sincere apology, then his position seems pretty evident.

>>> Find out why I'm incapable of apologizing

10) He begs for another chance

Okay, so I know this final point feeds into the previous, but seriously, how much more proof does anyone need that an ex is still smarting and wants to give things another go?!

How to react when your ex doesn’t want to move on, but you do…

If you have come to the conclusion that you want to be alone and follow your own path, then you need to see that goal through. Despite your ex reaching out and him mobilizing your friends to talk you into getting back with him, you must remain strong and respect your own choices. You are the only person able to make such important decisions and shouldn’t be swayed by outside influences, no matter how convincing they are. If you feel yourself being pressured into taking back an ex-partner, give yourself the green light to cut all contact with those attempting to influence your choice.

Who hurts more after a breakup?

Put simply, women are more likely to give a lot in a relationship than men. A brief encounter can lead to nine months of pregnancy and several years of breastfeeding for a woman, while the man can 'walk off the stage minutes after the meeting, with no further commitment. It's this risk that has made women more difficult when choosing a partner. If men are not affected immediately, they suffer more from the rupture in the long run. The man will feel the loss more and more deeply as he integrates the fact that he must re-enter the competition to attract the attention of women, to replace what he has lost. It can be worse if he understands that the loss is irreversible.

This loss of the other can have serious consequences. A breakup can lead some people to lose their job, to adopt self-destructive behavior. Students decide not to attend their classes anymore… According to certain studies dating from January 2015, it takes about three months to recover. recover from a breakup. At least after this average period of time, respondents felt more mature and set new goals. Divorced people have a harder time getting out of marriage nostalgia, with an average of eighteen months of remission after separation.

>>> Read; How to get rid of emotional blocks

Why is he being so cold after a breakup?

Men can appear cold after a break-up for a variety of reasons. One common reason is the way society has traditionally encouraged men to suppress their emotions and adopt a stoic facade. As a result, they may feel compelled to mask their pain and vulnerability, opting for aloof behavior to avoid showing their emotions. What's more, some men may perceive that the best way to cope with a break-up is to concentrate on their work, friends, or activities, which can give the impression that they are cold. In reality, their apparent coldness may be a coping strategy to deal with their own heartache. However, it's important to remember that every individual reacts differently to a break-up, and we shouldn't generalize behaviors based on gender. Some men may be open to expressing their emotions, while others may take more time to process them in private.

Editor’s opinion - Heartbreak affects us all!

Heartbreak is never completely harmless, no matter how much we try to convince ourselves that it’s nothing. It awakens insecurities, doubts, and anxiety in many of us, that we then proceed to carry through into our future relationships and friendships. However, with solid support and time to heal, we can all overcome this difficult situation and look forward to a brighter future.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!


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Wengood's playlist


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  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
  15. With Or Without YouU2
  16. HelloAdele
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
  19. WingsBirdy
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

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