What is the secret to a lasting relationship? If someone knows, can they please share it with me? Given that I can’t seem to stay in one for longer than 6 months, I’d love to know! My problem is that when I'm with someone, even though I have feelings for them; I get bored once I feel like I've learned all about them. When I feel like I've figured them out, I can't help but want to move on. At the beginning, of course I get butterflies in my stomach and excited when they text me, but as the months pass by, the routine becomes monotonous and time seems to stand still. If I put as much energy into saving my relationships as I do into looking for reasons to flee from them, then I probably wouldn’t be here writing this…
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Why do I give up so easily on relationships?
I jump into things head first without thinking them through…
Spending time at home with your friends, meeting up with your family, or going away for the weekend are all things I love doing. I’m naturally a fast-paced person and always want to speed through, but, being so fast means that I barely take the time to enjoy things and constantly jump from one thing to another. Once the first few months fly by in a relationship, I start looking for a way out and only manage to focus on the negative points that crop up. That's right, after a certain period of time I no longer feel loved up…
I hate falling into a routine
Either the men I date are completely unimaginative or I just hate routine. Having the same ritual every day and every week is completely mundane and dull for me. I just can't do it, and forcing myself to endure it only makes me unhappy! Instead, I want to be surprised and kept on my toes, and that includes sexually too.
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I romanticize love, just like in the movies
Romcoms never show Julia Roberts or Hugh Grant coming home at night in a bad mood and exhausted after working all day. Love and romance are hard work and need constant efforts to keep the flame alight. Couples evolve and at times, feelings do too. We’re hardly likely to snog each other’s faces off at 60 years old like we did when we were teens. Accepting different stages of relationships is a huge learning curve and teaches us lots about who we are.
I’m a victim of my generation
I always want more and am never really satisfied when I finally get what I want. Look around you, everyone is virtually the same nowadays and obsessed by social media and their online appearance. We are totally spoiled for choice when it comes to dating, and therefore live by the motto of there being many more fish in the sea. The times of marrying someone from the same neighborhood are well and truly over.
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I always manage to put a negative spin on things
Now, I don’t think I’m perfect, but I do want my partner to be! I want to be treated like a princess and wooed like a star. Being eternally unsatisfied means coping with things can be hard, especially when I don’t get my own way. It takes a special kind of person to keep me grounded and entertained, but unfortunately for me, I’m yet to find anyone up for the role.
My anxiety is out of control
If I watch a horror movie, I constantly apprehend something bad happening, even though nothing has happened. In relationship, I’m exactly the same! I find myself in a cycle of not wanting things to fail, but being powerless when faced with change and progression.
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Am I even ready for a relationship?
Am I ignoring the obvious? I seem to want to put the blame on other people, but am I actually the problem in all of this? Perhaps I should in fact take some time out for myself, and decide what I want, rather than jump into rocky relationships.
Can a man fall out of love quickly?
Once we look past the bordering on sexist clichés about men and women being wired differently, we soon realize that guys fall out of love just as easily as we do. Gone are the days when couples stayed together for the sake of it, now as soon as someone decides that their feelings have faded, they leave almost instantly. Men, like women, also get worn down by boring routines, plus in an age of social media, they can develop feelings for other people too and decide that the grass is greener elsewhere. Once the spark has gone and the fights become more frequent, men lose the will to save the connection.
Have I fallen out of love, or am I depressed?
Believe it or not, falling out of love is very strongly linked to depression, meaning it’s sometimes difficult to differentiate the phenomena. Depression in love is a depressive episode that is often, but not always, triggered by a breakup in love. This breakup will constitute an emotional shock whose psychological consequences can be important.
Love depression is reactive, as opposed to so-called endogenous depression, which tends to develop independently of environmental factors. However, the symptoms of romantic depression are the same as those of depression, whether they are associated with a triggering event. Thus, when you are experiencing a love breakdown, you may experience the following symptoms:
- Symptom 1: intense emotional pain
- Symptom 2: loss of interest and pleasure in usual activities
- Symptom 3: a loss of overall energy associated with great fatigue
- Symptom 4: a tendency to self-deprecation
- Symptom 5: a general slowing down of psychomotor functioning
Editor's opinion: Block out external pressure
Maintaining a romantic relationship months or even years down the line can be extremely challenging. Relationship issues will evidently crop up over time, but the trick is to remain open with your partner. Whenever you feel like something is on your mind which could push you apart, you need to address the situation together, as openly and honest as possible. Avoid falling into the trap of comparing your love story will also help you flourish. If we focus on experiences or wonder whether the grass is greener elsewhere, we'll definitely be tempted to walk away. The key to saving romance is to live in the moment!
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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