Been there, done that, got the t-shirt...
My dating history is enough to make even the toughest cookies shudder. When I was at the lowest point in my life, I found myself consecutively entering two toxic relationships with fully fledged narcissists, so I definitely know what the feeling of being used is like. At the beginning of my relationships with my exes, I was overjoyed with the attention they gave me and obsessed with how good they made me feel, although I soon came to realize that their so-called attentiveness was simply a form of love bombing.
They never had my best interests at heart and were using me for their benefit. They needed me around to compliment them, cater to their everything need, and to build up their confidence. And, the craziest thing is that despite them constantly making me feel resentful and low, I felt guilty whenever I contemplated the prospect of walking away. The empath in me was convinced that they needed me and that if I tried hard enough, I could finally end up having the balanced relationship I craved. Although, of course, none of my wishes for a healthy relationship ever transpired because a narcissist is totally disingenuous and only ever acts in their interests.
Here are 10 signs your partner is using you
1) Your relationship feels one-sided
A one-sided relationship means you are always the one doing the groundwork and trying to make your partner feel good. You’ll no doubt also be the one who initiates communication with calls and texts too, meaning you’ll always be the partner making all the efforts and accommodating their needs.
2) They ask to borrow money
Like any good user, nothing is out of bounds for them, not even financially. Plus, to get what they want, they’ll guilt-trip you into funding their extravagant lifestyle, without thinking about the consequences for you.
3) They are completely self-centered
They never pay attention to your needs and only ever focus on themselves. After all, there is only enough space for them and no one else is worthy enough to feature on their priority list.
4) They never show gratitude
No matter what you do for your partner, they’ll never utter the word thank you, or even recognize the troubles you go to make them feel good. You could go to the ends of the earth without them even noticing…
5) Your emotional needs are never recognized
In short, your feelings don’t even exist for them, which is why they’ll never be willing to discuss them in an attempt to understand what you need.
>>> Discover the 10 signs a married man is using you.
6) Their attitude changes when they want something
When you are being used by your partner, they’ll make you feel guilty a hell of a lot, but they have a talent for turning on the charm and transforming into the perfect partners when they need/want something from you.
7) They hold grudges
Whenever you decide to do things for yourself which aren’t necessarily in line with what they want, they’ll make their feelings known to you, and won’t hold back on making you feel bad.
8) They claim you are the problem
Nothing is ever their fault and when things go wrong, the blame ultimately sits with you, every single time…
9) Your friends and family are concerned
When your entourage can see that something is off, then they are usually right. After all, your loved ones know you better than anyone else and can often pick up on toxic signs that seem invisible to you.
10) They get angry when you tell them no
When you finally start to stand your ground and dig your heels in against their demands, they fly off the handle because you simply aren’t giving them what they want.
How to know if you’re being used sexually - 5 Signs
Do you feel like your boyfriend is always "busy" until it's time for you to "get busy" with him? If so, it's possible that he is only with you for the one thing you can offer him between the sheets. If you want to know if your boyfriend is only with you for sex, see if he fits the 5 descriptions below. The truth hurts, but you're getting closer to the right one by knowing you're with the wrong one.
- 1) He only calls you late at night
- 2) He never contacts you on a week night when you are busy
- 3) He never asks how you are feeling
- 4) He never wants to kiss you
- 5) He only ever talks about sex with you
How do I stop being taken for granted in a relationship?
Standing up for yourself is never easy, especially when romantic feelings are involved, however, a healthy scenario requires both partners to feel respected. The first step to no longer being taken for granted in love is developing your self-awareness and self-worth. By doing so, it obviously allows us to know ourselves better, to listen to ourselves and to know what needs we have. Today, mindfulness and meditation courses are available, depending on the desires and possibilities of each person. Self-awareness is also learning to know one's capacities and limits, in order to avoid engaging in things that we don't necessarily feel comfortable doing.
Editor’s opinion - If you’re feeling used, walk away
Leaving any relationship is tough, but once it becomes toxic, it’s a necessary step to take to preserve your mental health. You are strong enough to do anything, just remember that!
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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