Why do breakups hurt so much?
Whenever a relationship comes to an end and heartbreak kicks in, the reality of what awaits us often comes to light. Going your own separate ways can be daunting and intimidating, but it’s an important part of the healing process. When going through this, you’ll no doubt have to face some strong emotions during this period, but rest assured, because that it’s all part of the rebuilding process.
Everyone goes through heartbreak differently, yet some will be confronted with particularly strong feelings of anger, depression and even denial.
What differentiates dealing with a separation to the idea of grieving the death of a loved one; is the idea that life goes on. Although the two scenarios seem vastly different, they both implicate pain, sadness, hurt and discomfort. That being said, separations can lead us to losing confidence in ourselves and wondering for example what you could have done differently or why you weren’t good enough.
Following a romantic split, we normally go through a stage of blaming ourselves. We often even wonder if we’ll ever meet anyone again in the future. No matter what has gone on or how hard you tried, know that you cannot prevent the inevitable. If you weren't meant to be, nothing could have changed the outcome. Love is not something we can rationally understand, which is why it can be so tough for us to let go and move on.
What is it that hurts us the most?
In every sincere relationship, we instantly feel comfortable and safe with our partner, yet this is why we sometimes lose our way when things come to an end. Facing the end of a love story can even make you feel as if you’ve lost part of yourself. A rupture will submerge you in memories of your past relationships, and you may even feel like you can’t get through certain moments.
Rebuilding yourself and your confidence will be a trying journey, but will help you find who you are really.
How can we heal after a breakup?
By getting back to the basics and spending time doing what you love, you’ll definitely find yourself on the right track. Life is full of changes, and we all have what it takes to face and overcome them. When we decide to take control and pick ourselves up, we become stronger and learn our true value.
The challenge involves accepting what you have lost and realizing that life goes on. Taking the positive points from your love story; including what you have learned, will also help you take a step in the right direction. Although you’ll go through hard times, tell yourself that tomorrow is a new day and that positive things are coming your way.
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Can we truly ever get over and move on from someone we loved?
If we take a closer look at the definition of forgetting, it involves leaving something somewhere or forgiving. The truth is, we never forget about our past partner. In fact, to fully move forward from them, we need to intensely work on ourselves and accept the reality of the situation.
Splitting up is at times for the best, which is something you’ll eventually learn. Read about what you shouldn't do after a breakup.
Why can’t I get over my ex? - 4 Reasons why
According to a study conducted by Binghamton University, women are more affected by a breakup than men. Yet, after some time and further questioning, they are the first to move on. Men usually just move on, without really thinking about the situation or understanding.
I can't get over my ex, why?
- You have difficulty filling the void
- You are still emotionally dependent
- You hate your ex and you feel frustrated
- You feel too much guilt about your relationship
1) You feel a huge void
During your relationship, you establish habits, routines, and full daily life together. And today, you find yourself alone. In this case, you usually miss his presence more than the person himself. Your Wednesday night movie routine may seem sad without your ex. But it's more a matter of getting used to her presence and having your daily routine turned upside down. However, you must accept the fact that from now on, you will have to carry out these habits alone. It's not easy, but as you go along, you have to get used to being alone and establishing new routines without her.
2) Emotional dependence is still too present
You've tried to rebuild your life by moving on, but unfortunately, nothing works. When you say to yourself I can't get over my ex, it means that you haven't finished your personal reconstruction. There is really no fixed time frame for the process of getting over your ex. It depends on your relationship, the reasons for the breakup, and your sensitivity.
3) You hate your ex
You hate your ex, he hates you, and it's an extremely conflicted relationship you've forged. If he left you or your relationship ended in a hurtful situation, you may be filled with frustration. Your main feelings are anger and a desire for revenge.
4) You feel guilty about your breakup
After a breakup, emotions can take over and force us to act out of proportion. This creates a deep sense of guilt. You made mistakes and acted in the wrong way, and now you regret it. Even if you caused the separation, or it was your fault, you can't get over your ex because he haunts you.
5) Regrets hold us back
Sometimes we can't get over an ex because we have regrets. Indeed, it is possible that, during the relationship or the breakup, you made mistakes or that you have things to say to your ex today. It is therefore quite logical that the memory of your ex has become anchored in your head. You still have some unfinished business with them, and your subconscious is not shy about reminding you of this.
Editor's opinion: Everyone is different
We all experience emotions and tough situations differently, which is why it's important for us to be supported whenever we are feeling down. The key to healing and making ourselves feel better isn't ice cream, it's time! Time helps us put things into perspective and is crucial in urging us to look forward to the future. Don't beat yourself up if you don't feel totally okay after a recent split because you've been through a tough ordeal. You need to be kind to yourself and realize that you are strong enough to get through this challenging period.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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