Excessive expectations, intense routines and warped images of relationships often make our love stories difficult to manage and maintain. A relationship is one of life’s greatest balancing acts and requires compromises to be made regularly. In short, one cannot be too demanding or severe with their partner if they want a smooth sailing union. Being so tough is a way of testing our partner's feelings for us, yet this can lead to extremely toxic behavior. Although, thanks to our tips, you'll know how to turn things around.
We are often very gifted at loving the other person, which has a positive echo in us. However, in a relationship, it can be difficult to observe our partner without being too emotionally involved. We would like our lover to understand our desires, our needs, our doubts, our sadness etc... all without having to say anything beforehand. The problem is, not everyone is a mind reader…
We’re sure you've already said something like: ‘I can’t believe he doesn’t understand me!’ ‘Why doesn’t he realize I’m struggling?’ ‘I feel totally abandoned by him and as if he’s never there for me’.
→ After cooling down and a bit of reflection, you probably realized that your partner isn’t in your head. And for you, it is the same thing, unless you are connected like in the famous Black Mirror series, you don't know what he is thinking about until he tells you. Of course, through communication, complicity, listening and exchange, we learn more and more about understanding the other person and by force of circumstance, we manage to anticipate certain needs. This is normal up until a certain point.
The goal here is to change your prism in order to observe your partner more objectively by looking at him with his own eyes and not with yours! There is something simple to do for this, and it all comes back to having similar expectations.
‘Limit the frustrations you have when you expect something from him that is not usual for him to do’. In short, avoid setting the bar too high.
>>> Read; Should I tell my partner that I've cheated?
Well, without meaning to, we build an image of the couple that can be based on beliefs, on the way it should work → whether it is cultural beliefs or even based on examples of couples we know and use as examples. Except, we have to keep in mind that each relationship is different, simply because each person is different.
There will never be the same way of doing things, coupled with the same communication, complicity, agreement etc... You, you are not like your neighbor and your neighbor for example is not like your life partner. By keeping this in mind, you can move forward by getting rid of the beliefs that weigh on you and your love story. Also, you will limit the frustrations you will have when you expect your partner to do something that is not in his skill set.
It's easy to blame your partner for what he doesn't have, but you do. Remember one thing; you complement each other, so don't expect him to be like you. By being less demanding about flaws and more rewarding about qualities, you will push your partner to develop his qualities more!
For example: If you expect him to be tidier, but you criticize his way of doing things when he tidies up, then you will push him not to tidy up because there is no point in making efforts to please him if it is to attract criticisms...
→ Above all, express yourself with benevolence! Healthy and positive communication, as well as attentive listening to the needs of the other, is a cement of the couple and of any good, fulfilling and lasting relationship! By expressing your feelings, emotions, needs and expectations for your couple, your partner will understand the situation better, and you will be able to discuss the harmony of the couple.
Beware: The goal is not to forget yourself in the relationship. It is important to see the couple as a new dimension of you and the other. You are a whole person, with your own personality and freedom. Your life partner also has his own personality and freedom. And together, next to you, there is the unity of the couple with its personality and freedom.
When your partner is too demanding, it's important to take steps to preserve your well-being and maintain a balanced relationship. Here are a few tips that might help:
To be less demanding in love, it's important to cultivate attitudes and behaviors that promote understanding, acceptance and flexibility. Firstly, try to focus on your partner's positive qualities rather than their faults. Learn to appreciate the little things and express gratitude for gestures of love and support. Practice empathy by putting yourself in your partner's shoes and trying to understand his or her perspectives and needs. Communicate your expectations and desires openly and honestly, but also be prepared to listen and consider your partner's needs. Finally, work on your own self-esteem and self-confidence so as not to seek excessive external validation. Remember that love is a journey of compromise, mutual respect and acceptance, and that being less demanding can open the door to more fulfilling and lasting relationships.
All relationships have their fair share of ups and downs, and the tough times can only be overcome by both partners working together, towards the same goal. Relationships constantly need your commitment to improve your chances at being happy together. Although, at times, differences in communication styles and personalities, make it difficult for both partners to be comfortable. If you feel like your partner is too demanding of you, here are 5 things to do;
In love, it's important to have realistic expectations to build healthy, fulfilling relationships. Here are five requirements that might be considered unrealistic:
Editor's insights - Relax and enjoy the loving vibesToo many demands complicate the possibility of building a healthy relationship. In a love relationship, it is important to be able to meet the other person and accept him or her as he or she is. You must be flexible and prove it to the other person. It is important not to try to transform the other person into our perception of the ideal person, even if it is normal to know what we want and what we do not accept. 🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now! #BornToBeMe |
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"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
- Oscar Wilde
