Infidelity: Should You Save Your Relationship Or Yourself?

Last updated by Katie M.

I’m lucky to have never experienced infidelity, but I know that if it happened to me, I’d be devastated. Cheating can destroy a relationship and lead to a break-up, however, you can also choose to save it. But being betrayed like this can affect our mental health and destroy us as well. Should you save your relationship at any cost after infidelity, or is it better to choose yourself?

Contents: 

When infidelity destroys trust

I don’t know if humans are made for monogamy or if we should all be polyamorous 🤔. Whatever happens, if you’re in an exclusive relationship, infidelity can hurt a lot because it destroys the trust between two people. You may be attracted to other people, especially after several years with the same person. However, few people cross the line so as not to betray their partner’s trust and not to sow doubt in the relationship 💔.

Setting limits

We’re unfaithful from the moment you wouldn’t dare to tell the other person about something you’ve done. By cheating on the other person, you kick down the contract of mutual respect. Of course, it varies from one couple to another, it’s up to each couple to set their own limits regarding fidelity! Once this line has been crossed, you’ll have to work to understand what happened. This can take time and be mentally draining. So how do you know if it’s worth it 😔?

>>> Find out whether flirting is considered cheating

Seeing how the other person acts

I’d say that the most important element to know if you should save your relationship or yourself is to see how the unfaithful one acts. Indeed, if they don’t make any excuses or question themselves, you have to ask yourself questions. You should be attentive to their behavior as there are things that can alert you:

  • No communication;
  • A lack of expression of their emotions;
  • Being held responsible for the infidelity. For example, if they tell you, “I cheated because of you!”;
  • No justification of the act (to understand where the problem comes from);
  • No action to restore the trust.

At this point, you should consider taking a break or simply ending the relationship to take care of yourself. Saving your relationship after infidelity is possible, but only if both parties try to move forward together. ⚠️ There’s no point burning yourself out if you can see that your partner isn’t ready to save your relationship too.

Deception that eats away at us...

Another difficulty we may encounter is the betrayal that eats away at us from the inside. We can fight together to try and restore the trust, but sometimes the wound remains. It’s hard to overcome betrayal and move on. It can take time to rebuild trust, leading to toxic behavior from the person who has been cheated on, too. It’s difficult to manage your jealousy, for example 🤬! Infidelity in a relationship is poisonous if it’s experienced very badly by the person who has been cheated on.

In this case, it’s better to take a step back from the relationship to take care of yourself 🤕. Not everyone experiences betrayal in the same way, so it’s necessary to protect yourself above all.

The right solution

Experiencing infidelity and getting the relationship back on track is complicated but not impossible. To cope with this kind of ordeal, showing resilience and being very self-confident help greatly. Even if you’ve experienced cheating, your mental structure doesn’t crumble because of the other person’s behavior.

Nevertheless, not everyone has the same strength of mind, and we’re not all equal when it comes to this. Putting your ego aside, learning how to forgive, believing in the other person… It takes up a lot of space mentally 😥. And above all, you shouldn’t make the effort to do this for someone who isn’t worth it. The right solution is actually to listen to yourself, take a step back, and observe your partner’s behavior. Surrounding yourself with people for moral support is also extremely important! The essential thing is to be able to move forward, whether alone or together.

There’s also hope. If you feel that your partner also wants to save the relationship, you can go into couple’s therapy to move forward together with the help of a professional.

Editor’s note: speak about your feelings

Infidelity is a betrayal, it’s a painful ordeal that each person experiences in their own way. What’s certain is that it leaves its mark and bruises our self-esteem. That’s why it’s important to have support during these moments: a friend, family, or any other attentive ear is essential. If this infidelity is a source of great suffering, if you’re losing sleep over it or if the first signs of depression are starting to show… you shouldn’t wait to consult a psychologist.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!
#BornToBeMe

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Article presented by Katie M.

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