It annoys us, sticks to us and prevents us from letting go, but does this prejudice still apply? Refusing to sleep with someone on the first night can be justified or not, depending on the desire of each man and each woman. This choice must be made by the person concerned, and since itās sometimes difficult to make, weāll shed some light on the subject.
Deep-rooted differences between men and women
They are very real, and we often pay the price for them! The differences between men and women arenāt just anatomical. If we rely on preconceived ideas, a woman who has sex on the first night will be perceived as easy, whereas a man will be deemed a āchampionā by his peers.
Women are therefore expected to control their desires and their fiery impulses, which throughout history have been taken as voraciousness by men and another thing for women. Moreover, putting off doing the deed puts the feeling of love in the forefront is so a woman would have no reason to experience arousal or have a fulfilled sex life outside a relationship. A man can base his decision on a womanās actions to determine whether she will be the mother of his children or just a one-night stand. On the other hand, if a man chooses to wait before sleeping with someone, he would be perceived by others as weak and unmanly.
In light of these prejudices, which are in no way indicators, we want to say stop! Weāre fed up with being a slave to principles that seem outdated. Weāre fed up with not finding someone intelligent enough to understand that a woman who has sex on the first night is no more guilty than a man who does the same thing ā itās just nature! Whether we wait before doing it, itās a choice thatās ours alone and should be respected.
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What do we gain by waiting?
By refusing to give yourself straight away, you avoid being labelled as an easy girl, promiscuous, even nymphomaniac or any other vulgar term beginning with the letter āSā or āWā. Boys can also be seen as Don Juan, whom we end up distrusting. Itās therefore initially a matter of conscience because in your eyes, sleeping with someone means something, and you donāt do it with just anyone. Your reputation could also suffer because when people like to gossip and when they learn certain things, theyāre unfortunately quick to judge!
Since you were a child, you were taught not to get into a strangerās car or his bedā¦ This isnāt like you because your mistrust prevents you from throwing yourself into the arms of the first person you meet, who could very well be hiding behind his smile some perverse behavior or something worthy of a psychopath. Waiting for a woman also allows you to be sure that youāre not just with a man whoās only looking for sex, if this is not the case for you. By taking your time, you can see that your crush is truly interested in you and not just your beautiful behind like all the other [email protected]#*! That youāve met in the past. In short, you measure his motivation and that reassures you!
Giving in to temptation immediately can also be a barrier to a long-term relationship. Your date may see you as just a one-night stand and nothing more. He may even go so far as to think that you act like this on all your dates, which could put him off if he wanted to plan a long-term relationship with you.
Seduction is above all a game, and nobody will say the opposite: being desired is something flattering. You feel the desire and the temperature rising, but you wait a little longer for it to be better. Your ego and confidence will thank you!
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āNever on the first nightā: isnāt that a scam?
When you think about it, the first, second or third time are all the same. Only 72 hours separate these three dates, so if you were going to split hairs over the perfect moment, be aware that whatever time you choose will be early in the relationship. But never mind! Imagine the following scenario without laughing:
-āWeād known each other for two weeks, so I was entitled toā¦ā
-āNo, normally itās after two weeks and a day!ā
As far as we know, no one has ever determined a minimum amount! Making love is about giving in to your desires, so itās one of the few times you forget the rules. Some will say that you donāt get to know your (potential future) partnerās personality by offering yourself on the first date. But who needs to know his motherās date of birth or his goldfishās name to have fun in bed? Especially since it takes time to get to know someone. It takes months, even years and then some! Your grandparents may not know anything about them yet because you learn something new every day. So little angels, do you still want to wait? Will you have the faith to wait?
In addition to sparing your ability to be patient, sleeping with your date will enable you to release all the tension of the first date. And whether itās sexual because it turns out you both have great feels for each other, or nervous because we all get stressed before meeting someone, itās there and can wear you down! No one can stand the pressure forever, so donāt be afraid to let go. Another reason to justify the fact that giving in to temptation quickly is a long-term investment. Testing whether youāre sexually compatible can save you from any unpleasant surprises if you want to take things further with this person! He/she is very ā extremely even ā beautiful and funny, but a disaster in bedā¦ And itās too late because youāve already got attached to this person you see as the ideal partner. Youāre now in a bind, stuck with a bad shag. It would have been better to made aware of this earlier.
For some, sex is very important and letās face it: strangers are exciting and can be the object of our fantasies! Some would say that you can let yourself go more easily with someone you donāt know from Adam. By being spontaneous, you will be natural and thatās when youāll shine the most. Who knows, this stranger may not stay that way for very long because if you want to get to know him/her as mentioned before, there is a very effective way to do so: āpillow talkā. Yes, thanks to the hormone oxytocin, which gives us a feeling of calm and well-being after sex, weāre more likely to confide in someone than we would over a coffee!
Finally, enough talk, you can have sex on the first night just because you want to. By giving in to your desire will only make the moment better and more intense. Youāre now an adult, responsible (protect yourself), consenting and free to manage your sexuality as you see fit. Itās your body, and you can do what you want with it, as long as there is respect and nobody is forcing you to do something you donāt want to.
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Editorās note: Itās your choice and no one elseās!Whether you have sex on the first night, who cares! Itās your decision, your feelings in the moment, so do what you want in the moment without asking yourself any questions. Sometimes, you just have to let the magic of the moment work and live without thinking about the futureā¦ Youāll see what it holds for you sooner or later anyway! Itās an intimate choice that doesnāt concern anyone else but you. |
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