The 4 attachment styles
Psychoanalyst, John Bowlby, determined 4 attachment styles that allow us to understand how we create a bond with another person. There are two determining parameters, our anxiety, and our avoidance. They are influenced by the creation of the bond with our parents during our childhood. It is therefore important to know and understand how we attach to others, for this, we must test ourselves!
Take our test to discover your love attachment style
Here, we will propose a series of questions. Answer them spontaneously, choosing the answer that most closely resembles you. Note which sign it corresponds to in order to count them at the end of the test: 🌹🔔☂️🌙. Here we go!
|1. Throughout your childhood, your parents were:|
Results of the attachment style test
The test is over, you will be able to see which symbol is the most recurrent. Read what it corresponds to, but don't hesitate to take a look at the other attachment styles to understand all the mechanisms.
Your answers have given you the most 🌹 : your attachment style is "secure"!
You have everything you need to have a calming romantic relationship because you have low levels of anxiety and avoidance. Your relationships are generally long-lasting, healthy, and satisfying. There are occasional bumps in the road, but overall, you manage to overcome them through good communication. In any case, it's not your emotions and fears that disrupt the relationship!
You have a maximum 🌙: your attachment style is "preoccupied"!
This attachment style shows that you have a high level of anxiety about the relationship, which reflects a feeling of abandonment. You feel insecure, especially because you were not reassured enough as a child, which created an emotional dependency in you. You have the feeling of being a weight for the other person and at the same time, you are afraid of being left, which makes you have negative emotions like jealousy 🤕...
You have a maximum of 🔔: your attachment style is "detached"!
You have little attachment, you prefer to be alone, and you have difficulty investing yourself in the couple. This is a behavior that usually reflects a rejection wound because your parents did not show you enough love during your childhood. You are afraid of commitment because you feel that you will suffer. You, therefore, prefer to maintain a distance and not to invest yourself so as not to relive this suffering, but this prevents you from building a lasting relationship.
You have a maximum of ☂️: your attachment style is "avoidant/fearful"!
This love attachment style shows that you have both high anxiety and a high level of avoidance. This is a reflection of a lot of pain and unfortunately, your romantic relationships are often toxic. You find it hard to get emotionally attached, or it's the opposite, it has to be full of passion, but it's fleeting. In short, you have difficulty understanding your relationships in general, and you often encounter difficulties.
And after this test?
It is important to keep in mind that this test is purely for entertainment purposes, it does not replace a discussion with a therapist. However, it can be a way to question ourselves by taking a step back in our love relationships. From there, we can try to go into introspection to detect our behaviors and defense mechanisms. We have them because we have fears that were provoked by our attachment to our parents. This influences our relationships once we are adults, which is important to work on.
👉 If you have emotional wounds that prevent you from fully blossoming, don't hesitate to be accompanied via therapy to truly understand what makes you suffer.
Editor’s opinion: An important step towards awareness
This test can bring to light some of our behaviors in a relationship, it is a first step that can make you aware of your actions. Of course, it is not so simple, and it does not replace a consultation with a psychologist. If the same pattern repeats itself over and over again in your relationships, it is time to question yourself and make an appointment with a psychologist. Over the course of the sessions, you will be able to understand the origin of these behaviors and put in place new habits that will allow you to live happier relationships.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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