How Do Narcissists Behave Sexually? - What Happens During Sex With A Narcissist?

Sexual narcissism involves ensuring personal pleasure and ignoring a partner’s needs and desires. This selfish behavior is common in those with a narcissistic personality disorder, and also suggests that those suffering from it will have an inflated ego regarding their performances beneath the sheets. Their need for admiration and praise is what drives them in all aspects of life, but will tinge their romantic relationships with toxicity that can be tough to move on from.

How a narcissist behaves in the bedroom: 10 Things they do

The red flags never lie… If you are looking for confirmation that your partner suffers from this disorder, be sure to look out for these signs in the bedroom.

1) They manipulate their partners

Narcissists use sex as a weapon to get what they want, and are prepared to do whatever it takes to realize their desires. If their partners are unwilling to do something in the bedroom, they will become relentless and really crank up the pressure. They’re not averse to guilt-tripping their partners into doing things they’d usually be uncomfortable with. From them, sex is just another element of control that they can use to fulfill their needs.

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2) They leave their partners feeling unfulfilled

We’ve already touched on it, but pleasuring their partner really isn’t a narcissist’s priority, and this explains why sex with one is completely unsatisfying. Spending the night with one will leave you feeling dejected and, in some cases, could even lead you to question your self-worth. In the most serious cases, it could raise the subject of sexual abuse.

3) They gaslight in the bedroom and make people feel bad

In order to blackmail their lovers into doing exactly what they want, they won’t hesitate to accuse you of being needy when you evoke the subject of your own sexual pleasure. These talented liars have what it takes to make people believe that their incompatibility issues are solely their partner’s fault. 

The harsh truth is that in order to save face, they’ll never admit their portion of responsibility.

4) They boast about their sexual conquests

A sexual narcissist always needs to feel good about themselves. This means they won’t be shy when it comes to boasting about their experiences and how many people they’ve slept with, (yes, you’ve guessed it, their number will no doubt be in the hundreds.) Although, because they are well-known fantasists and manipulators, it’s anybody’s guess as to how truthful their claims are.

5) They can become abusive when they don’t get what they want

When you refuse to obey the demands of a stroppy child, they will no doubt show off and make your life difficult for a while, well the same thing happens here too. When people aren’t at their every beck and call in the bedroom, these abusive personalities will become angry, spiteful and even violent. They need to be in constant control and given what they desire whenever they desire it. If you refuse to try out the position they’ve been wanting to do, you can definitely expect to receive a barrage of hate…

>>> Read up on what a narcissist hates more than anything

6) They lack empathy

Don’t expect them to be sympathetic towards you if you didn’t enjoy your latest tryst, or even if you found it painful. The only thing you should be ready to hear is how everything is your fault and that your pleasure is your own responsibility. Plus, if a narcissist sees you getting emotional, they’ll likely become more and more wound up but your supposedly ‘weak’ attitude.

7) They’ll avoid relationship questions

Let’s break all the allusions here and put everything out there. Commitment isn’t something that a narcissist will ever truly want, so if you are expecting any semblance of loyalty or faithfulness from one, you’ll certainly be disappointed. They aren’t equipped to be in healthy relationships and will do everything in their power to avoid getting to this point. 

Their blatant rejection of commitment explains why they prefer one-night stands to long term relationships.

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8) Do narcissists like to cuddle? No, they’ll never show you affection

Let’s face it, they probably don’t even understand the definition of affection. If you are involved with a sexual narcissist, you can forget tender caresses, stimulating foreplay and intimate cuddles after love making because once they’ve climaxed and are satisfied, they’ll be out the door in a flash; how romantic?! Unfortunately, the reality of the situation means that narcissists are incapable of love.

9) They’ll criticize their partners yet in turn expect compliments

Sexual relationships are very much about giving and receiving, yet here we are dealing with a unilateral setup. With these folks being so demanding and needy, they’ll expect positive comments on their performance, but that won’t stop them from giving you pointers on how you could improve yours, because you obviously weren’t up to par.

10) They need to feel like they are the BEST

Researchers, at the University of Toronto, conducted several experiments on a group of 173 volunteers with the aim of understanding how sexual narcissists function. They noticed how important comparison was for these people, especially when it comes to the frequency of intercourse. If other people are more successful sexually, these personalities feel resentful. If, on the other hand, others have less sex than they'll feel accomplished.

What turns on a male narcissist? - 5 Things that drive them crazy in the bedroom

If you were wondering how a narcissist acts in the bedroom, you’ve no doubt just realized how perverted and twisted they can be. Although they don’t have a very healthy rapport with sex, they are certain things and scenarios that really excite them sexually.

• 1) Power - They love being in control between the sheets, and will dominate their partner or partners from start to finish.
• 2) Overstepping boundaries - They’ll completely gloss over complaints about not feeling comfortable and will do whatever it takes to make things enjoyable for themselves.
• 3) Sex toys - They love the idea of having tools that give them even more control.
• 4) Throwing around insults - Dirty talk takes a wild turn with these guys, who really reveal their misogynistic tendencies in the bedrooms.
• 5) Flattery - The more admiration they feel, the more excited they become.

Do narcissists like to cuddle?

For a narcissist, cuddling is a way to get you hooked and keep you under his control. It's not about developing an emotional bond with you, nor is it about meeting your needs or your desire for closeness, it's to keep you under the thumb. Although, if he withdraws or avoids cuddling, it's because at that point he no longer feels in control, and he wants that control more than he wants you.

Narcissist withholding sex - Why he refuses to make love

A narcissist makes love using his secret weapon "manipulation" so that the victim can fulfill all his desires. As you know, he is a very dominant person in the relationship and therefore also in sexual relations, meaning when he decides he no longer wants to have sex, his decision will be final. We must keep in mind that everything a narcissist does is a calculated attempt to make their victim feel terrible about themselves.

When it comes to sex, a narcissist will withhold it in order to make their victim feel unattractive and ugly. These manipulators may even go as far as telling their partners that their performance in the bedroom is way below par and that their exes were much better in bed. In short, they’ll do anything to make their victims lose confidence in themselves, and therefore ensure that they’ll never leave them.

However, it should be noted that if a narcissist refuses to have sex, he is probably getting some action elsewhere… Unfortunately, these folks will never truly sacrifice their own pleasure for the sake of anyone else, no matter how much they claim to love and care for them.

Be sure to check out the following articles too:

• Do narcissists cry?
• How to help the victims of a narcissistic pervert