10 Weird things narcissists do sexually that will shock you
Sexual narcissism involves ensuring personal pleasure while ignoring a partner’s needs and desires. This selfish behavior is common in those with a narcissistic personality disorder, and also suggests that those suffering from it will have an inflated ego regarding their performances beneath the sheets. Their need for admiration and praise drives them in all aspects of life, but it tinges their romantic relationships with toxicity, which can be incredibly difficult to navigate and even harder to recover from.
Understanding the sexual behaviors of narcissists can help you identify red flags in your relationship and protect your emotional and physical well-being. Let’s dive into the 10 strange things narcissists do in the bedroom and what they reveal about their manipulative nature.
What 10 weird things do narcissists do sexually? 😈
The red flags never lie. If you’re looking for confirmation that your partner exhibits narcissistic tendencies, pay attention to these peculiar behaviors in the bedroom. These signs can help you determine whether you’re dealing with a sexual narcissist.
1) They manipulate their partners to get what they want
Narcissists use sex as a weapon to achieve their desires. If their partners are unwilling to do something in the bedroom, they become relentless and crank up the pressure. They’re not above guilt-tripping their partners into participating in acts they’re uncomfortable with. For them, sex is just another tool of control that they use to fulfill their own needs.
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2) They leave their partners feeling unfulfilled
We’ve already touched on it, but pleasuring their partner is not a narcissist’s priority. This explains why sex with one is often completely unsatisfying. Spending the night with a narcissist can leave you feeling dejected and questioning your self-worth. In extreme cases, this could even lead to discussions about sexual abuse.
3) They gaslight in the bedroom
Narcissists are masters of gaslighting, and they bring this manipulative tactic into the bedroom. If you express dissatisfaction or discuss your own sexual needs, they’ll accuse you of being needy or selfish. They’ll twist the narrative to make you believe that any issues are entirely your fault. This emotional manipulation can leave you feeling confused and powerless.
The harsh truth is that narcissists will never admit their share of responsibility.
4) They boast about their sexual conquests
A sexual narcissist thrives on validation, which is why they love boasting about their sexual experiences and the number of people they’ve slept with. While their claims may sound impressive, remember that narcissists are known for exaggerating and fabricating stories to bolster their egos.
5) They become abusive when they don’t get what they want
When you refuse to meet their demands in the bedroom, narcissists can become angry, spiteful, and even violent. They need to be in control at all times and expect their desires to be fulfilled without question. If you don’t comply, you may face verbal abuse or emotional manipulation.
>>> Read up on what a narcissist hates more than anything
6) They lack empathy
Narcissists are incapable of understanding or caring about their partner’s feelings. If you didn’t enjoy your latest encounter or found it painful, they’ll dismiss your concerns and blame you for the experience. They view emotional vulnerability as a weakness and often respond with disdain.
7) They avoid relationship questions
Narcissists are notoriously commitment-phobic. They prefer casual encounters and one-night stands over long-term relationships because they fear losing control or being vulnerable. If you try to discuss the future of your relationship, they’ll likely deflect or shut down the conversation.
Their fear of commitment explains why they prefer fleeting encounters to meaningful connections.
8) They show no affection
If you’re expecting tender moments, think again. Narcissists don’t understand the concept of affection. Once they’ve satisfied their needs, they’ll often leave without so much as a cuddle or a kind word. This lack of intimacy can leave their partners feeling used and unimportant.
9) They criticize their partners but expect compliments
Narcissists thrive on praise and admiration, but they’re quick to criticize their partners. They’ll point out flaws in your performance while demanding endless compliments about their own. This one-sided dynamic can be exhausting and demoralizing.
10) They need to feel superior
For a narcissist, sex is another arena where they need to assert their dominance. Researchers at the University of Toronto found that sexual narcissists are obsessed with comparison. They feel accomplished if they perceive themselves as more sexually successful than others but resentful if they feel outperformed.
Quick facts about sexual narcissism
| Behavior | Example | Why It’s Toxic |
|---|
| Manipulation | Coercing you into acts you’re not comfortable with | It undermines trust, damages consent, and causes emotional vulnerability. |
| Lack of Empathy | Ignoring your pain, discomfort, or emotional reactions | It leaves you feeling unimportant and emotionally neglected, breaking the healthy bond. |
| Gaslighting | Blaming you for dissatisfaction or pretending your concerns don’t exist | It erodes your self-confidence and sense of reality regarding the relationship. |
| Toxic Comparisons | Bragging about previous partners or comparing your performance to others | This creates insecurity, low self-esteem, and feelings of inadequacy. |
| Control | Demanding dominance or dictating the dynamics in the bedroom | Control stifles mutual consent and fosters inequality in the relationship. |
| Criticism | Harshly criticizing your body, technique, or preferences | This damages your confidence, leading to performance anxiety and emotional distress. |
| Preference for Praise | Constantly seeking compliments about their own performance | Their need for validation overrides your pleasure and damages mutual respect. |
Do narcissists like to be dominated in bed? 🔥
While narcissists crave power and control in most areas of life, their preferences in the bedroom can be more complex. Some narcissists enjoy dominating their partners, using sex as a means of exerting control and reinforcing their superiority. However, others may have a hidden desire for submission, as it allows them to escape the pressure of constantly maintaining a dominant facade. Being dominated can provide them with a thrill rooted in power dynamics rather than genuine intimacy. Ultimately, their sexual preferences are driven by their need for ego validation, admiration, and self-gratification, rather than emotional connection. In relationships, this can lead to controlling behaviors where they either seek to dictate every aspect of intimacy or test their limits by surrendering control momentarily—only on their terms.
What do narcissists fantasize about? - 5 Things that turn them on 🍆
Narcissists have specific fantasies that reflect their need for control and validation. Here are five things that excite them:
- 1) Power - They love being in control in the bedroom and dominating their partner.
- 2) Overstepping boundaries - They enjoy pushing their partner’s limits to satisfy their own desires.
- 3) Sex toys - Tools that enhance their control bring them excitement.
- 4) Insults - They often incorporate degrading language into their encounters.
- 5) Flattery - Compliments and admiration fuel their ego and arousal.
>>> Read; Can a narcissist love you?
What turns a narcissist off? - 5 Things they hate in the bedroom 😱
Narcissists also have specific turn-offs that reveal their aversion to intimacy and vulnerability:
- 1) Being kissed -
Narcissists hate kissing because it requires emotional closeness.
- 2) Being hugged - They dislike physical contact unless they initiate it.
- 3) Being asked questions - They prefer to keep sex transactional and avoid emotional discussions.
- 4) Giving oral sex - They see it as a loss of power.
- 5) Losing control - They must always dictate the terms of the encounter.
Editor’s opinion: Your needs matter too!A sexual relationship is supposed to be fulfilling and pleasurable for both partners, yet here it seems inconceivable. Suppressing your own sexual desires for the sake of someone else’s will only lead you further down the path towards a toxic relationship, and this will only make you unhappy in the long run. Having an open and honest discussion about your expectations isn’t an option, and suggests that the only effective decision to take is to walk away and find someone who respects and cares for you.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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Not enough help for victims of narcissists. Can’t escape because of housing market. Coupled with major illness. So completely miserable. Nobody seems to understand. Already been most of my life. Trying to believe that one day soon I’ll be free of this. Constantly looking for safe way out. The stories I could tell, omg. Complete insanity.
Mindful, a year ago