Sexual narcissism involves ensuring personal pleasure and ignoring a partner’s needs and desires. This selfish behavior is common in those with a narcissistic personality disorder, and also suggests that those suffering from it will have an inflated ego regarding their performances beneath the sheets. Their need for admiration and praise is what drives them in all aspects of life, but will tinge their romantic relationships with toxicity that can be tough to move on from.
What 10 weird things do narcissists do sexually? 😈
The red flags never lie… If you are looking for confirmation that your partner suffers from this disorder, be sure to look out for these signs in the bedroom.
1) The first weird thing narcissists do sexually is manipulating their partners
Narcissists use sex as a weapon to get what they want, and are prepared to do whatever it takes to realize their desires. If their partners are unwilling to do something in the bedroom, they will become relentless and really crank up the pressure. They’re not averse to guilt-tripping their partners into doing things they’d usually be uncomfortable with. From them, sex is just another element of control that they can use to fulfill their needs.
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2) They leave their partners feeling unfulfilled
We’ve already touched on it, but pleasuring their partner really isn’t a narcissist’s priority, and this explains why sex with one is completely unsatisfying. Spending the night with one will leave you feeling dejected and, in some cases, could even lead you to question your self-worth. In the most serious cases, it could raise the subject of sexual abuse.
3) They gaslight in the bedroom and make people feel bad
In order to blackmail their lovers into doing exactly what they want, they won’t hesitate to accuse you of being needy when you evoke the subject of your own sexual pleasure. These talented liars have what it takes to make people believe that their incompatibility issues are solely their partner’s fault. 
The harsh truth is that in order to save face, they’ll never admit their portion of responsibility.
4) They boast about their sexual conquests
A sexual narcissist always needs to feel good about themselves. This means they won’t be shy when it comes to boasting about their experiences and how many people they’ve slept with, (yes, you’ve guessed it, their number will no doubt be in the hundreds.) Although, because they are well-known fantasists and manipulators, it’s anybody’s guess as to how truthful their claims are.
5) They can become abusive when they don’t get what they want
When you refuse to obey the demands of a stroppy child, they will no doubt show off and make your life difficult for a while, well the same thing happens here too. When people aren’t at their every beck and call in the bedroom, these abusive personalities will become angry, spiteful and even violent. They need to be in constant control and given what they desire whenever they desire it. If you refuse to try out the position they’ve been wanting to do, you can definitely expect to receive a barrage of hate…
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6) They lack empathy
Don’t expect them to be sympathetic towards you if you didn’t enjoy your latest tryst, or even if you found it painful. The only thing you should be ready to hear is how everything is your fault and that your pleasure is your own responsibility. Plus, if a narcissist sees you getting emotional, they’ll likely become more and more wound up but your supposedly ‘weak’ attitude.
7) They’ll avoid relationship questions
Let’s break all the allusions here and put everything out there. Commitment isn’t something that a narcissist will ever truly want, so if you are expecting any semblance of loyalty or faithfulness from one, you’ll certainly be disappointed. They aren’t equipped to be in healthy relationships and will do everything in their power to avoid getting to this point. 
Their blatant rejection of commitment explains why they prefer one-night stands to long term relationships.
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8) They never show any affection
Let’s face it, they probably don’t even understand the definition of affection. If you are involved with a sexual narcissist, you can forget tender caresses, stimulating foreplay and intimate cuddles after love making because once they’ve climaxed and are satisfied, they’ll be out the door in a flash; how romantic?! Unfortunately, the reality of the situation means that narcissists are incapable of love.
9) They’ll criticize their partners, yet in turn they'll expect compliments
Sexual relationships are very much about giving and receiving, yet here we are dealing with a unilateral setup. With these folks being so demanding and needy, they’ll expect positive comments on their performance, but that won’t stop them from giving you pointers on how you could improve yours, because you obviously weren’t up to par.
10) They need to feel like they are the BEST
Researchers, at the University of Toronto, conducted several experiments on a group of 173 volunteers with the aim of understanding how sexual narcissists function. They noticed how important comparison was for these people, especially when it comes to the frequency of intercourse. If other people are more successful sexually, these personalities feel resentful. If, on the other hand, others have less sex than they'll feel accomplished.
💡 Practical tip time - Communication strategies when dealing with a partner exhibiting sexual narcissistic behavior 💡
1. Don't be afraid to say no
By saying no assertively and calmly, the sexual narcissist, who is already used to always hearing your yes, will be surprised. Although at first this person will probably try to manipulate you (shout, threaten, play the victim, etc.), if you say it often, the narcissist will change his image of you - that you're ignorant and manipulable - and look for another victim.
2. Let them know you aren't afraid of them
One of the ways the sexual narcissist finds to dominate and manipulate others is through fear and threats. Initially, they seek to observe the other person's weaknesses to use them to their advantage in the future. If you tell them something intimate, it's highly likely that at some point they'll threaten to share it with others. What's more, they like to talk about other people's weak points to make themselves feel superior.
3. Tell them that the world doesn't revolve around them
Every sexual narcissist believes that they are unique, special and that the other person exists to satisfy his or her needs. The dynamics of a relationship with a narcissist are usually very unequal. One party gives too much without getting anything in return.
What do narcissists fantasize about? - 5 Things that turn them on 🍆
If you were wondering how a narcissist acts in the bedroom, you’ve no doubt just realized how perverted and twisted they can be. Although they don’t have a very healthy rapport with sex, they are certain things and scenarios that really excite them sexually.
- 1) Power - They love being in control between the sheets, and will dominate their partner or partners from start to finish.
- 2) Overstepping boundaries - They’ll completely gloss over complaints about not feeling comfortable and will do whatever it takes to make things enjoyable for themselves.
- 3) Sex toys - They love the idea of having tools that give them even more control.
- 4) Throwing around insults - Dirty talk takes a wild turn with these guys, who really reveal their misogynistic tendencies in the bedrooms.
- 5) Flattery - The more admiration they feel, the more excited they become.
>>> Read; Can a narcissist love you?
What turns a narcissist off? - 5 Things they hate in the bedroom 😱
Let’s face it, we all have things that instantly turn us off and instantly kill the desire factor in the bedroom. Be it, bad breath or loud moaning, certain things really make us cringe. However, as you’ll soon see, narcissists are very different from most people, especially when it comes to what makes them uncomfortable between the sheets.
- 1) Being kissed - Narcissists hate kissing and that’s simply because they despise being intimate. After all, to be intimate, you have to make yourself vulnerable and let your romantic partner into your personal space.
- 2) Being hugged - Following on from the previous point, they also hate being hugged too. For them, physical contact isn’t exactly pleasurable, especially if they aren’t the ones who have initiated it…
- 3) Being asked questions - Sex is purely a physical act for these manipulators, which explains why they like to keep things very distant and formal in the bedroom. In short, sex is purely transactional for them.
- 4) Giving oral sex - As much as these folks like to receive oral sex, they despise giving it! For them, receiving oral sex gives them the sensation of being powerful and in control, which are two things they adore!
- 5) Not being able to take the lead - Their need for control means that they must lead the dance at all times. They have to be the ones calling the shots on the positions, when, and where! They never really take anyone else’s feelings into consideration either…
📍FAQ time📍
Do narcissists like to be dominated in bed?
These abusers are always looking to satisfy their needs and dominate their partners, including in sexual relationships. Indeed, much like in everyday life, they'll never allow themselves to be dominated in the bedroom ❌.
Depending on the phase of the toxic relationship, they will behave differently. In reality, their goal is always the same: to please themselves and strengthen their hold on you. I have observed that with narcissistic men, there is a very strong inclination for sexual deviance essentially of the masochistic or dominant type. These penchants can be revealed progressively during the evolution of the couple's intimacy, and are very often totally ignored by those around them. The sexual imbalance of the perverse manipulator is expressed freely with the active "consent" of his victim.
How does a narcissist make love? 💋
When it comes to sex, narcissists behave in a domineering way, but have the intelligence to make their victims believe that the sexuality they propose is the kind of sexuality they need to blossom and discover a new, richer, denser world. However, behind this sexuality, which may seem generous on the surface, the sexuality of the narcissist always implies the domination of the other, because they can only feel powerful through the submission of the other. There's nothing more pleasurable for the narcissistic manipulator than to see the hold they have over their victims in the bedroom. Of course, you won't see this immediately. Their demands will gradually increase, and they'll first wait until they know you trust them completely before asking you to submit more and more.
These manipulators train their victim to do sexual things they don't want to do, and won't care about their sexual needs. Sometimes it's even possible to feel a kind of disgust or embarrassment at their demands, but out of fear of losing them, the other person may end up agreeing to sexual acts that don't suit them.
>>> Read; Are narcissists aware of what they do?
Are narcissists great in bed?
Narcissistic people can sometimes be very attentive to their own pleasure, which can lead them to focus on their own satisfaction to the detriment of their partner's. However, this doesn't necessarily mean that all narcissists are bad in bed. Some can be highly competent and attentive to their partners. It's essential to note that the quality of the sexual experience also depends on communication, mutual understanding, and compatibility between partners, far beyond the narcissistic personality alone. Ultimately, it's important to remember these kinds of personalities can pose relational challenges, but this doesn't automatically dictate the quality of the sexual experience.
>>> Read; Can we sleep with someone on the first night?
How long can a narcissist go without sex
The length of time a narcissist can go without sex varies widely, as it depends on their individual needs for validation and attention, personal libido, and circumstances. Some narcissists may use sex as a primary means of obtaining narcissistic supply and find it difficult to go without it for long, while others may fulfill their need for admiration through other sources, such as professional success or social media attention, allowing them to abstain for longer periods. Additionally, if withholding sex serves as a manipulative tactic to exert control or achieve a specific goal, they might do so strategically. Ultimately, their ability to go without sex is influenced by a combination of personal desires and external factors.
Editor’s opinion: Your needs matter too!A sexual relationship is supposed to be fulfilling and pleasurable for both partners, yet here it seems inconceivable. Suppressing your own sexual desires for the sake of someone else’s will only lead you further down the path towards a toxic relationship, and this will only make you unhappy in the long run. Having an open and honest discussion about your expectations isn’t an option, and suggests that the only effective decision to take is to walk away and find someone who respects and cares for you.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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Not enough help for victims of narcissists. Can’t escape because of housing market. Coupled with major illness. So completely miserable. Nobody seems to understand. Already been most of my life. Trying to believe that one day soon I’ll be free of this. Constantly looking for safe way out. The stories I could tell, omg. Complete insanity.
Mindful 6 months ago