Let’s face it, we all, unfortunately, know a controlling manipulator who makes us feel completely horrible about ourselves. This statement may seem a little odd because according to official statistics, narcissistic perverts make up 3% of the population. The idea of this character profile sends shivers down our spines, but what are these people like? What makes them tick? If you have suspicions about someone in your entourage, discover the common traits of a narcissist here.
How to stop being manipulated by a narcissist
The question is always the same, how do we protect ourselves from these kinds of toxic people? To help you go about it, find out how to protect yourself and keep yourself safe.
1) Learn to identify them and their traits
From the mean boss to the domineering partner, narcissistic perverts come in all shapes and sizes. Although that being said, you should be careful not to fall into the trap of detecting manipulation everywhere you look. This dangerous personality type is guilty of the following types of behavior:
- Mixed messages
- Refuses to accept their wrongdoings
- Poor communication
- Constantly criticizes
2) Stop being so dependent on other people
If you have identified someone completely toxic in your entourage, you need to start believing that you are strong enough to cut ties with them and walk away. You need to realize that you are surrounded by love and people that care about you. Try to figure out where your need for dependence comes from by opening up to a friend or mental health professional.
>>> Discover how to tell if you're in a toxic relationship.
3) Don’t show your emotions
To throw them off, you need to maintain a calm and relaxed attitude when dealing with them. Think calm thoughts and don’t react to the provocative things they say. Being both offensive and defensive is a great tactic.
4) Take notes on their behavior
Offenders prefer verbal communication and never want to leave any written traces of what they say. If you suspect your boss, throw them off by asking ‘to be sure, is that really what you want me to do?’, for example. Keeping a journal is a great way to keep track of what has been said.
>>> Learn which 4 steps to follow to break up with a narcissistic pervert.
5) Start believing in yourself
These folks will always choose to prey on people who lack confidence and self-esteem because it makes manipulation so much easier. Building up your confidence is important when faced with someone so devious and underhand. Focusing on your positive points and qualities will soon show you that you aren’t as worthless as you have been made to believe.
6) Set boundaries and respect them
To get on with other people, you need to set boundaries to feel respected. When you consider that people outwardly disrespect you and your beliefs, don’t hold back on speaking up for yourself. Learning to stand up for yourself and say no will earn you the respect you deserve.
7) Learn to counter manipulate
The ultimate aim is to stop leaving yourself vulnerable to manipulation, which is why you need to act as nothing affects you. Hiding your weaknesses from your opponent will help give you the upper hand in the manipulation battle. Here are some tips to help you counter manipulate:
- Be polite
- Make jokes
- Use proverbs and sayings
- Use ‘we’ rather than ‘I’
- Don’t get into a conversation
8) Avoid all contact with them
Even if you can’t avoid contact with the toxic people in your life, you can however try to limit your meetings. Ignore text messages, emails, and attempt to completely cut them out of your life. Forgetting about them might be tough, but it’s a necessary step to feeling better.
>>> Check out how to overcome your fear of loving
9) Get support from your entourage
Those who fall victim, often feel isolated and unable to talk about what they are going through. Feeling cut off from other people leave victims even more vulnerable and exposed, in short, speaking up is essential. A problem shared is regularly a problem halved, so confide in a friend or confidant.
What phrases disarm a narcissist? - 4 Things to say
Here are 4 sample sentences that can help you set your intentions and limits. They destabilize the narcissist by indicating that you have the concrete means to resist and oppose them.
1) "I said no, it's no."
If you are forced to be around a narcissist, the priority is to set your boundaries and know how to assert them. In order for your boundary to be established and heard, it is necessary that it be expressed clearly and that your interlocutor be immediately reframed in the event that he or she does not respect it. Saying and asserting your opposition with a clear and strong "no" can be very useful.
2) "Can you explain this to me more clearly/precisely?"
Among the characteristics of the narcissistic pervert is the ability to play with ambiguities and create vagueness, to dominate the exchange and get the other person exactly where they want them. Creating confusion in their victim allows them to make them more vulnerable and malleable, and still induce enough elements to get the other person to eventually align with their desires.
3) "That's your opinion."
Another way of not giving in to a narcissistic manipulator is to apply counter-manipulation techniques which, contrary to what one might think, do not consist of exercising one manipulation in response to another but rather of actively protecting oneself against the manipulation and the attempts at psychological control that it may induce.
4) "It looks like you're trying to manipulate me."
Another effective technique for neutralizing a narcissistic pervert is to publicly highlight their malicious approach and manipulative enterprise. The only requirement for this strategy is that you are aware that you may be intimately touching their overinflated ego, and that they may seek to make you pay for it.
What happens when you stand up to a narcissist?
Narcissists are full of pride and ego, as well as, sadness and emptiness, but when their victims take a stand against them, they’ll reveal their ugliest side and will step up the level of manipulation. They will become especially evil and relentless if they believe you are about to leave them and walk away definitively. If you do eventually walk away, they will act proud but deep down they’ll miss you (it's nice to read, but it's only a void they feel, and they'll fill it with someone else) they wait for you to come back. The only problem is that to be in a relationship with this kind of person is to serve this person...
It is difficult to forget them because for most of the chosen people we have a sense of forgiveness. When you stand up for yourself and leave, these manipulators will think about us but not in the right way, they will try to win you back, and pretend that they are the real victims.
How do narcissists react when confronted?
When a narcissist is called out over their bad behavior, you can expect them to react very badly. These folks hate being faced with the facts and consequences of what they’ve done, which is why they’re never prepared to accept their actions. Confronting a narcissist is never an easy feat, but it is a necessary step when it comes to switching the power roles and dynamics. You should however be prepared for the narcissist to overreact and get angry when they are being confronted, however, they are unlikely to back down or apologize. The best thing to do here is to avoid having expectations.
Should you stand your ground with a narcissist?
This predator feeds on the hold they have on other people. At the beginning, they make themselves out to be considerate, attentive, and caring in order to gain trust... To then better harm and destroy the other person through three types of behavior: seduction, control, and manipulation. Once the flaws of his victim are detected, the narcissist will humiliate them.
Now, although this all sounds completely terrifying, it is still worthwhile standing up to them. Putting an end to this unhealthy relationship as quickly as possible is the best way to escape. To do so, limit contacts and do not confide anything personal to these people to protect your privacy and keep in mind that the best defense is an attack: destroying the social reputation of this person and denouncing his behavior, alerting to his perversity is also a way to prevent collateral damage that this person could cause on others.
Our editor's advice: Protect yourself
If you have detected a narcissistic pervert in your surroundings, you must learn to defend yourself. The number one rule is not to doubt yourself. Don't doubt yourself, your skills, who you are, or those around you.
The victim must work to restore their knowledge of their values, skills, and self-esteem. If they were victimized in a relationship, they must understand that their partner did not love them.
The path is not easy, but you can also get help from a psychologist to get back on your feet. Be strong.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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