Why Female Covert Narcissists Are More Cunning Than Their Male Counterparts

Last updated by Katie M.

It’s time to set the record straight, although male narcissists typically get a lot of flack, yet, female covert narcissists are just, if not even more dangerous than the guys. These women are the definition of devious and know how to wrap people around their little fingers without anyone ever really catching on to their behavior and conniving ways. 🦹‍♀️ They are a force to be reckoned with and certainly never back down from the challenge of breaking someone’s soul. Here are insights into how to identify a female covert narcissist and how to deal with one.

Why Female Covert Narcissists Are More Cunning Than Their Male Counterparts

First off, what is a woman is a covert narcissist?

In simple terms, a female covert narcissist possesses all the characteristics and traits of a classic narcissist, yet, the nuance is they manage to hide their devious ways effectively 👿. Whilst they are undeniably manipulative, controlling, and non-empathetic, more often than not, they hide behind a victim status. That’s right, they take great pleasure in fooling those around them into believing that they are downtrodden and unconfident, all whilst being discreetly passive-aggressive.

These women are very charismatic and charming, yet when you begin to scratch the surface a little bit, you’ll eventually realize how emotionally manipulative and conniving they really are. Their strong sense of entitlement and neediness means that they are extremely gifted when it comes to inserting themselves into other people’s lives. Now, they only choose to become close to people who they believe they can manipulate in order to fulfill their own twisted desires.

However, spotting a female covert narcissist is definitely not an easy task, and that’s because these women are such good chameleons. The truth is, they find it really easy to draw people in with their fake sob stories, plus they are great at pretending to be something that they are simply not. 

7 covert narcissist traits female to look out for: ⬇️

  • 1) The female covert narcissist needs admiration just as much as the overt narcissist, but she does so by downplaying her own achievements in the hope that others will highlight them. She may also pay someone a compliment only to receive one in return.

  • 2) Covert narcissists, actually seem to be capable of empathy. These women know how to feel and respond to the needs of those around them, but they do so in order to bind people to them.

  • 3) They also effortlessly indulges in a victim role. On the very first meeting, they will evoke sad episodes from her life in order to elicit empathy from the other person.

  • 4) Passive aggression is always present in their characters. Their victims experience feelings of doubt and helplessness in the face of the hidden narcissist's passive-aggressive statements, mocking remarks or silent treatment.

  • 5) They make you feel guilty. If you confront her with his indecent behavior or if a conflict arises, she manipulates the situation so convincingly that you end up feeling guilty.

  • 6) They appear gentle and caring to the outside world. However, they only conform to social norms in the presence of others: it's only when they're face-to-face with their victims that they reveal their true selves.

  • 7) They can't establish and maintain real emotional relationships. There's little room for your needs, because they're always preoccupied with themselves.

>>> Read; Examples of messages a narcissist sends

Here are 5 reasons why female covert narcissists are more dangerous than men 😨

Whilst men are often called out for being master manipulators, women can in fact be even more dangerous and devious than their male counterparts. Women are generally gifted with immense emotional intelligence, which unfortunately, in this case, they use for destruction and pain, rather than good.

  • 1) Female covert narcissists are brilliant actors - These covert manipulators are very talented when it comes to giving Oscar-worthy performances. That’s right, they are so devious that they can turn the waterworks on at a minute's notice. They use narcissistic crying as a tool for manipulation and don’t hesitate to turn to it whenever they are in sticky situations! 
  • 2) They are also emotional manipulators - These women are amazing when it comes to capitalizing on other people’s emotions and weaknesses. Whenever they believe they can get their claws into someone, they certainly will. They will essentially use guilt-tripping to exploit their victims and get them to do what they want.
  • 3) They are damaging to your self-esteem - Unfortunately, covert women narcissists are completely vicious in the sense that they will do anything to tear their victims down. This will often start with backhanded compliments and sly criticism, yet, the intensity will increase over time.
  • 4) They isolate their victims - Covert narcissists are smooth movers, which explains why they are so successful in isolating their victims from their families and friends. Their behavior and lies create an unhealthy dependency and bond between the abuser and the victim, which can be extremely hard to break.
  • 5) They are completely unpredictable - Trying to anticipate their next move can be totally mind-boggling, and that’s simply because they love the idea of keeping everyone on their toes. The fact that they are so sly means that they can plot ultimate destruction without even arising suspicion from anyone.

💡 Practical tip time - 4 Strategies to help you get over a female covert narcissist  💡

1) Don't make any contact with her

This means blocking their number, making sure all e-mails from their address go into your spam folder, and deleting them from social networks. It's hard, but mental health counselor Dr. Stephanie Sarkis explains in an article on Psychology Today that it's the best option, because sooner or later, the narcissist will find a way to get back to you. The narcissist knows exactly what to say to get you back. So you have to be blunt and quick. It may be best to break up by text message, so they can't manipulate you any further.

2) Remove all the people you have in common with her on social networks

Sometimes it's best to start afresh and cut off all contact with people you have in common, psychologists advise. This includes their friends and family, from all social networks: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn... The more people you have in common, the more opportunities the narcissist has to get back into your life in one way or another. He may also use his friends to try to make you jealous.

3) Remember why you walked away from her

You may remember a time when your partner sent you tons of messages every day and constantly complimented you. Compliments are a very good thing when they're sincere. But when a narcissist uses them, it can be part of a technique called "love-bombing" in which the person bombards you with affection but has an ulterior motive. To remember why you broke up, write down the reasons why you left. Did your partner often put you down? Did he usually insult you? Did he often make you feel crazy?

4) Focus on self-care 

Being around such devious personalities is a very draining and damaging experience, and that’s why if you find yourself in this situation, you need to take care of yourself. Whether it be yoga, or even just going for a walk, choosing to put yourself first and prioritize your mental health will help free you.

The million-dollar question - What causes female covert narcissism?

Early life experiences and toxic parental relationships are often the root cause for females developing covert narcissistic traits later on in life. Neglect, abuse, and poor parenting decisions explain this cunning behavior, but that certainly doesn’t justify it! After all, we are certainly a product of our environment, and evidently, when we grow up with mean-spirited parents who constantly put us down and fail to set any boundaries, the outcome is unfortunately obvious.

Failed romantic relationships also go a way to explaining why certain females grow into fire-breathing monsters, hellbent on destroying those around them 💔. Being cheated on, or even disrespected in a relationship, is also another trigger for these women to fly off the rails and seek revenge on whomever they can afterward. Bad and painful personal experiences are definitely responsible for forming our characters and often drive us to make poor decisions.

Likewise, as insecurities grow and egos develop over time, these women become even more dangerous and choose to take out their frustrations on others, instead of addressing them head-on. Unfortunately, these toxic females are far too proud to ever seek help from professionals and put off tackling their issues. In short, whenever life knocks these girls down, they bounce back even more bitter and determined to seek revenge.

>>> Read; How to control jealousy in a relationship

Editor’s opinion - Don’t overlook these bad girls

Female covert narcissists should never be overlooked because their behavior and actions could lead to the ultimate downfall of their victim. Whenever they have the chance to get their teeth into people that they plan on controlling and manipulating, this can be extremely damaging and devastating. They shouldn’t be underestimated because they are very good at plotting destruction, so be sure to take the precautions mentioned above.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, and be happy... Let’s do it here and now

#BornToBeMe

Connect with an advisor

Be sure to check out these articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

Hi Katie, Just been reading your article about covert narcissist female, and i would like to say thanks a lot for the amazing information you have provided on here, i have met a covert narcissist female and she succeeded to make me fall in love with her (well it's not real love lets face it, only an illusion and shared fantasy she dad created and lured me in it) I must admit she got such a high level of sexual seduction that i have never seen in a female on this planet before.... She knows when and where to tap... My question is, is she ever going to leave me alone, as she discarded me and went fir my colleague to hurt me, but after i stonewalled her she still contacting me with fake facebook accounts , pretanding to be someone else...if she hates me that much what does she want from me??? My other question is, (out of curiosity) is she ever going to get married? And if she decides to get married, what kind of person she will fall in to marry? Many thanks once again Zac

Zac 8 months ago

Read our latest articles here:

Is It Possible To Find Your Genius Zone To Be Effective At Work?

Nowadays, we all aspire to have a job that makes sense, where we naturally feel good, and where we work without difficulty. To achieve this, we need to draw on our natural skills to find our “genius zone”. This would enable us to work effortlessly, while being in harmony with ourselves. Sounds like a dream, right? I was curious to find out more about this concept launched by psychologist Gay Hendricks, so I’ll tell you all about it! Let’s see if you really can find your genius zone!

Amorality: True Freedom Or Pure Selfishness?

I often roll my eyes when I see influencers unpacking hundreds of Shein parcels or tourists disrespecting the local traditions of the country they’re visiting. What do both have in common? Their amorality. If you don’t know what that is, I’ll explain what it is and how it can be harmful not to have an ethical compass. Let’s get started!

Is My Mom A Narcissist? 10 Things Narcissistic Mothers Do

Do you remember back in the day when you were a teen and constantly fought with your parents, and in particular your mom? Whether it was because you wanted to stay out past your curfew or chose to parade around in your new miniskirt, many of us have faced constant battles with our mothers. However, for those of us dealing with a narcissistic mom, the problems don’t stop when we finish puberty, no, in fact, they stick with us throughout our lives and make it impossible for us to establish a healthy relationship with the person who brought us into the world. Now, if the scenarios below seem all too familiar, then you might just have been raised by a narcissist.

10 Examples Of Narcissist Text Messages: How They Blow Up Your Phone

Narcissists definitely move with the times, which is why many of them constantly troll dating sites for new victims. Chatting with a manipulator of this magnitude can be a rollercoaster experience, with dizzying heights that might lead you to believe you are in love, to gut-wrenching lows which will make you question your worth. 📱 For any raving narcissist, text message exchanges are a great way to reel in victims and follow through with their master plans for ultimate control over them. Are you texting someone you suspect to be a narcissist? The examples below could confirm your suspicions.

10 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually - Romance Is Dead

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. 🙈 Discover the weird things narcissists do in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

5 Scary Things A Narcissist Smear Campaign Involves

We hear so much about these emotional abusers in every walk of life that we are sometimes so overloaded with information regarding them, meaning we often miss the red flags that, in hindsight, seem blatantly obvious. These vindictive manipulators often use smear campaigns as a way of getting back at their victims and villainizing them publicly. That's right, these evil campaigns are an effective method for them to change the narrative of the abuse, and to present themselves as victims, when in reality they are the perpetrators of the terror.

Do Narcissists Enjoy Kissing?

Kissing is a deeply intimate act, and although in popular culture it is often classed as only being worthy of first base, it does in fact go way beyond that toxic evaluation. We have no doubt all had at least one lingering kiss that we’ll never forget; one which left all of our senses tingling and hungry for more. 💏 Well, that memorable smooch left us reminiscing because it was sincere and meant something. In short, it encapsulated love and romance, which are two things that narcissists are quite simply incapable of feeling.

How Do You Know A Narcissist Is Cheating?

Narcissism is wholly incompatible with healthy relationships, which goes some way in explaining why people with this personality disorder always believe the grass is greener elsewhere. Indeed, fidelity isn’t something they excel in and adds to their exhaustive list of weaknesses alongside their love of manipulation and dishonesty. 💔 However, they are so cunning and crafty that catching them out and confirming your intuitions is no easy feat. To make things easier for you, here are the 10 signs you need to look out for if you believe your narcissistic man is cheating on you.

Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Now, narcissists are known for demonstrating a worrying lack of empathy along with deviously manipulative traits, oh, and before I forget to mention it, HUGE egos too 😈. Yes, that’s right, they love spending hours looking in the mirror and being told how fabulous they are. To put it in other words, people with this personality disorder are firmly in love with themselves, to the point of being totally obsessed with their so-called perfection, but the question is, can they put their self-admiration aside enough to become preoccupied with someone else? If, on the other hand, you're looking to get a narcissist hooked on you, you're in the right place with these tips.

How Narcissists Treat Their Exes

Walking away and definitively closing the door on your relationship with a narcissistic ex-partner is one of the most emotionally draining challenges you can face. After all, these manipulative bullies are never willing to just let bygones be bygones, and always want to have the final word after the break-down of a relationship 😈. Besides, when narcissists get dumped, their inner demon raises its ugly head and becomes determined to (metaphorically) destroy their ex-partner.



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack