Why Female Covert Narcissists Are More Cunning Than Their Male Counterparts

Last updated by Katie M.

It’s time to set the record straight, although male narcissists typically get a lot of flack, yet, female covert narcissists are just, if not even more dangerous than the guys. These women are the definition of devious and know how to wrap people around their little fingers without anyone ever really catching on to their behavior and conniving ways. 🦹‍♀️ They are a force to be reckoned with and certainly never back down from the challenge of breaking someone’s soul. Here are insights into how to identify a female covert narcissist and how to deal with one.

Why Female Covert Narcissists Are More Cunning Than Their Male Counterparts

First off, how can you tell if a woman is a covert narcissist?

In simple terms, a female covert narcissist possesses all the characteristics and traits of a classic narcissist, yet, the nuance is they manage to hide their devious ways effectively 👿. Whilst they are undeniably manipulative, controlling, and non-empathetic, more often than not, they hide behind a victim status. That’s right, they take great pleasure in fooling those around them into believing that they are downtrodden and unconfident, all whilst being discreetly passive-aggressive.

These women are very charismatic and charming, yet when you begin to scratch the surface a little bit, you’ll eventually realize how emotionally manipulative and conniving they really are. Their strong sense of entitlement and neediness means that they are extremely gifted when it comes to inserting themselves into other people’s lives. Now, they only choose to become close to people who they believe they can manipulate in order to fulfill their own twisted desires.

However, spotting a female covert narcissist is definitely not an easy task, and that’s because these women are such good chameleons. The truth is, they find it really easy to draw people in with their fake sob stories, plus they are great at pretending to be something that they are simply not. 

Here are 7 clues to spotting a female covert narcissist ⬇️

  • 1) The female covert narcissist needs admiration just as much as the overt narcissist, but she does so by downplaying her own achievements in the hope that others will highlight them. She may also pay someone a compliment only to receive one in return.

  • 2) Covert narcissists, actually seem to be capable of empathy. These women know how to feel and respond to the needs of those around them, but they do so in order to bind people to them.

  • 3) They also effortlessly indulges in a victim role. On the very first meeting, they will evoke sad episodes from her life in order to elicit empathy from the other person.

  • 4) Passive aggression is always present in their characters. Their victims experience feelings of doubt and helplessness in the face of the hidden narcissist's passive-aggressive statements, mocking remarks or silent treatment.

  • 5) They make you feel guilty. If you confront her with his indecent behavior or if a conflict arises, she manipulates the situation so convincingly that you end up feeling guilty.

  • 6) They appear gentle and caring to the outside world. However, they only conform to social norms in the presence of others: it's only when they're face-to-face with their victims that they reveal their true selves.

  • 7) They can't establish and maintain real emotional relationships. There's little room for your needs, because they're always preoccupied with themselves.

>>> Read; Examples of messages a narcissist sends

Here are 5 reasons why female covert narcissists are more dangerous than men 😨

Whilst men are often called out for being master manipulators, women can in fact be even more dangerous and devious than their male counterparts. Women are generally gifted with immense emotional intelligence, which unfortunately, in this case, they use for destruction and pain, rather than good.

  • 1) Female covert narcissists are brilliant actors - These covert manipulators are very talented when it comes to giving Oscar-worthy performances. That’s right, they are so devious that they can turn the waterworks on at a minute's notice. They use narcissistic crying as a tool for manipulation and don’t hesitate to turn to it whenever they are in sticky situations! 
  • 2) They are also emotional manipulators - These women are amazing when it comes to capitalizing on other people’s emotions and weaknesses. Whenever they believe they can get their claws into someone, they certainly will. They will essentially use guilt-tripping to exploit their victims and get them to do what they want.
  • 3) They are damaging to your self-esteem - Unfortunately, covert women narcissists are completely vicious in the sense that they will do anything to tear their victims down. This will often start with backhanded compliments and sly criticism, yet, the intensity will increase over time.
  • 4) They isolate their victims - Covert narcissists are smooth movers, which explains why they are so successful in isolating their victims from their families and friends. Their behavior and lies create an unhealthy dependency and bond between the abuser and the victim, which can be extremely hard to break.
  • 5) They are completely unpredictable - Trying to anticipate their next move can be totally mind-boggling, and that’s simply because they love the idea of keeping everyone on their toes. The fact that they are so sly means that they can plot ultimate destruction without even arising suspicion from anyone.

💡 Practical tip time - 4 Strategies to help you get over a female covert narcissist  💡

1) Don't make any contact with her

This means blocking their number, making sure all e-mails from their address go into your spam folder, and deleting them from social networks. It's hard, but mental health counselor Dr. Stephanie Sarkis explains in an article on Psychology Today that it's the best option, because sooner or later, the narcissist will find a way to get back to you. The narcissist knows exactly what to say to get you back. So you have to be blunt and quick. It may be best to break up by text message, so they can't manipulate you any further.

2) Remove all the people you have in common with her on social networks

Sometimes it's best to start afresh and cut off all contact with people you have in common, psychologists advise. This includes their friends and family, from all social networks: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn... The more people you have in common, the more opportunities the narcissist has to get back into your life in one way or another. He may also use his friends to try to make you jealous.

3) Remember why you walked away from her

You may remember a time when your partner sent you tons of messages every day and constantly complimented you. Compliments are a very good thing when they're sincere. But when a narcissist uses them, it can be part of a technique called "love-bombing" in which the person bombards you with affection but has an ulterior motive. To remember why you broke up, write down the reasons why you left. Did your partner often put you down? Did he usually insult you? Did he often make you feel crazy?

4) Focus on self-care 
Being around such devious personalities is a very draining and damaging experience, and that’s why if you find yourself in this situation, you need to take care of yourself. Whether it be yoga, or even just going for a walk, choosing to put yourself first and prioritize your mental health will help free you.

The million-dollar question - What causes female covert narcissism?

Early life experiences and toxic parental relationships are often the root cause for females developing covert narcissistic traits later on in life. Neglect, abuse, and poor parenting decisions explain this cunning behavior, but that certainly doesn’t justify it! After all, we are certainly a product of our environment, and evidently, when we grow up with mean-spirited parents who constantly put us down and fail to set any boundaries, the outcome is unfortunately obvious.

Failed romantic relationships also go a way to explaining why certain females grow into fire-breathing monsters, hellbent on destroying those around them 💔. Being cheated on, or even disrespected in a relationship, is also another trigger for these women to fly off the rails and seek revenge on whomever they can afterward. Bad and painful personal experiences are definitely responsible for forming our characters and often drive us to make poor decisions.

Likewise, as insecurities grow and egos develop over time, these women become even more dangerous and choose to take out their frustrations on others, instead of addressing them head-on. Unfortunately, these toxic females are far too proud to ever seek help from professionals and put off tackling their issues. In short, whenever life knocks these girls down, they bounce back even more bitter and determined to seek revenge.

>>> Read; How to control jealousy in a relationship

Editor’s opinion - Don’t overlook these bad girls

Female covert narcissists should never be overlooked because their behavior and actions could lead to the ultimate downfall of their victim. Whenever they have the chance to get their teeth into people that they plan on controlling and manipulating, this can be extremely damaging and devastating. They shouldn’t be underestimated because they are very good at plotting destruction, so be sure to take the precautions mentioned above.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, and be happy... Let’s do it here and now


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Article presented by Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

Hi Katie, Just been reading your article about covert narcissist female, and i would like to say thanks a lot for the amazing information you have provided on here, i have met a covert narcissist female and she succeeded to make me fall in love with her (well it's not real love lets face it, only an illusion and shared fantasy she dad created and lured me in it) I must admit she got such a high level of sexual seduction that i have never seen in a female on this planet before.... She knows when and where to tap... My question is, is she ever going to leave me alone, as she discarded me and went fir my colleague to hurt me, but after i stonewalled her she still contacting me with fake facebook accounts , pretanding to be someone else...if she hates me that much what does she want from me??? My other question is, (out of curiosity) is she ever going to get married? And if she decides to get married, what kind of person she will fall in to marry? Many thanks once again Zac

Zac 4 months ago

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