Female Covert Narcissists - Why They Are More Cunning Than Their Male Counterparts

Last updated by Katie M.

It’s time to set the record straight, although male narcissists typically get a lot of flack, yet, female covert narcissists are just, if not even more dangerous than the guys. These women are the definition of devious and know how to wrap people around their little fingers without anyone ever really catching on to their behavior and conniving ways. They are a force to be reckoned with and certainly never back down from the challenge of breaking someone’s soul.

Female Covert Narcissists - Why They Are More Cunning Than Their Male Counterparts

First off, how can you tell if a woman is a covert narcissist?

In simple terms, a female covert narcissist possesses all the characteristics and traits of a classic narcissist, yet, the nuance is they manage to hide their devious ways effectively. Whilst they are undeniably manipulative, controlling, and non-empathetic, more often than not, they hide behind a victim status. That’s right, they take great pleasure in fooling those around them into believing that they are downtrodden and unconfident, all whilst being discreetly passive-aggressive.

These women are very charismatic and charming, yet when you begin to scratch the surface a little bit, you’ll eventually realize how emotionally manipulative and conniving they really are. Their strong sense of entitlement and neediness means that they are extremely gifted when it comes to inserting themselves into other people’s lives. Now, they only choose to become close to people who they believe they can manipulate in order to fulfill their own twisted desires.

However, spotting a female covert narcissist is definitely not an easy task, and that’s because these women are such good chameleons. The truth is, they find it really easy to draw people in with their fake sob stories, plus they are great at pretending to be something that they are simply not.

>>> Read; Examples of messages a narcissist sends

Here are 5 reasons why female covert narcissists are more dangerous than men

Whilst men are often called out for being master manipulators, women can in fact be even more dangerous and devious than their male counterparts. Women are generally gifted with immense emotional intelligence, which unfortunately, in this case, they use for destruction and pain, rather than good.

  • 1) They are brilliant actors - These covert manipulators are very talented when it comes to giving Oscar-worthy performances. That’s right, they are so devious that they can turn the waterworks on at a minute's notice. They use narcissistic crying as a tool for manipulation and don’t hesitate to turn to it whenever they are in sticky situations! 
  • 2) Emotional manipulators - These women are amazing when it comes to capitalizing on other people’s emotions and weaknesses. Whenever they believe they can get their claws into someone, they certainly will. They will essentially use guilt-tripping to exploit their victims and get them to do what they want.
  • 3) They are damaging to your self-esteem - Unfortunately, covert women narcissists are completely vicious in the sense that they will do anything to tear their victims down. This will often start with backhanded compliments and sly criticism, yet, the intensity will increase over time.
  • 4) They isolate their victims - Covert narcissists are smooth movers, which explains why they are so successful in isolating their victims from their families and friends. Their behavior and lies create an unhealthy dependency and bond between the abuser and the victim, which can be extremely hard to break.
  • 5) These women are completely unpredictable - Trying to anticipate their next move can be totally mind-boggling, and that’s simply because they love the idea of keeping everyone on their toes. The fact that they are so sly means that they can plot ultimate destruction without even arising suspicion from anyone.

What causes female covert narcissism?

Early life experiences and toxic parental relationships are often the root cause for females developing covert narcissistic traits later on in life. Neglect, abuse, and poor parenting decisions explain this cunning behavior, but that certainly doesn’t justify it! After all, we are certainly a product of our environment, and evidently, when we grow up with mean-spirited parents who constantly put us down and fail to set any boundaries, the outcome is unfortunately obvious.

Failed romantic relationships also go a way to explaining why certain females grow into fire-breathing monsters, hellbent on destroying those around them. Being cheated on, or even disrespected in a relationship, is also another trigger for these women to fly off the rails and seek revenge on whomever they can afterward. Bad and painful personal experiences are definitely responsible for forming our characters and often drive us to make poor decisions.

Likewise, as insecurities grow and egos develop over time, these women become even more dangerous and choose to take out their frustrations on others, instead of addressing them head-on. Unfortunately, these toxic females are far too proud to ever seek help from professionals and put off tackling their issues. In short, whenever life knocks these girls down, they bounce back even more bitter and determined to seek revenge.

How to deal with a covert narcissist woman? - 5 Practical tips to follow

Knowing how to deal with a covert narcissistic woman can be really confusing due to how calculating they are. However, the situation needs to be addressed, as you mustn’t lose control or the upper hand because these manipulators will seize the opportunity to make you into one of their many victims.

  • 1) Set boundaries - Remember that you are in control, and you, therefore, have all the cards in your hand. Taking control isn’t easy, however, it is certainly a necessary step if you want to preserve your mental health. This explains why it’s so essential to state what you are comfortable with and what you aren’t.
  • 2) Limit contact - Keeping communication and meet-ups to a minimum is a good step when it comes to handling these demons. By choosing to ignore them, you will send them a message that they must keep their claws away from you. It may seem like a pretty trivial step but controlling the communication will help you set an important precedent.
  • 3) Trust your instincts - Your gut feeling is rarely ever wrong, which is why you ought to listen to it, especially when things seem off. You know yourself better than anyone else, which is why you need to be confident enough to trust yourself, especially when you can sense red flags.
  • 4) Learn about their traits - After all, you can’t tackle any problem without having the right tools to do so, which is why learning about these personalities is very important. Knowledge is power and in this case, will give you the clarity to make the best decisions for you.
  • 5) Focus on self-care - Being around such devious personalities is a very draining and damaging experience, and that’s why if you find yourself in this situation, you need to take care of yourself. Whether it be yoga, or even just going for a walk, choosing to put yourself first and prioritize your mental health will help free you.

Do female narcissists get jealous?

The short answer is YES, they do! In fact, female covert narcissists are very jealous people and won’t ever stand for being made to feel bad. Several of life’s scenarios make them green with envy, be it their partner flirting with someone else, seeing their coworker succeed at work, or having a family member make a great accomplishment. Indeed, their jealousy is completely and utterly impulsive and pushes them to make some regrettable decisions, which leads to them revealing their truly dark side. Jealousy isn’t exactly an emotion they deal well with, and often propels them in regard to acting out and living up to their monster-like reputations.

>>> Read; How to control jealousy in a relationship

Editor’s opinion - Don’t overlook these bad girls

Female covert narcissists should never be overlooked because their behavior and actions could lead to the ultimate downfall of their victim. Whenever they have the chance to get their teeth into people that they plan on controlling and manipulating, this can be extremely damaging and devastating. They shouldn’t be underestimated because they are very good at plotting destruction, so be sure to take the precautions mentioned above.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, and be happy... Let’s do it here and now


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  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
  15. With Or Without YouU2
  16. HelloAdele
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
  19. WingsBirdy
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar

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