Should You Take The Plunge And Confess Your Feelings? Here's How To Do It

Last updated by Lauren Hart

Who hasn’t had a crush in their life? You know, it’s when you fall for someone and have feelings for them even though you don’t really know them. I’m one of those people who have had lots of crushes, and sometimes I’ve even admitted my feelings. In fact, a recent example was just before I started my relationship with my current partner. I offloaded what I was feeling all of a sudden… I’ll tell you why I did it and how to go about it.

Should You Take The Plunge And Confess Your Feelings? Here's How To Do It

Why should you confess your feelings to your crush?

It’s never easy to admit your feelings, but I think you absolutely should do it, it’s not a bad choice 🤗! The first reason is that your crush can’t just guess your feelings! Yes, unless you’re psychic, I don’t think many people notice feelings of love, especially when they’re very internalized. So we understand that it’s necessary to admit our feelings if we want something to happen. And if the other person doesn’t feel ready, at least they know about it 😬!

>>> Read about the fear of loving and how to overcome it

No one wants to live with regrets!

When I made the decision to confess my attraction to my then crush, I told myself that I had to do it to free myself. I was obsessed with my feelings, and it was all I could think about 😵💫! So obviously I was afraid of getting knocked back, but I figured that no matter how negative the outcome, at least it would be out there. I find that it stops you from living with regrets! I know I wouldn’t have been able to live with that weight and would have always wondered what would have happened if I hadn’t admitted my attraction 🧐.

We have nothing to lose by admitting to someone that we like them, even if we have to work on the wound of rejection. If the other person doesn’t respond to our feelings positively, it doesn’t mean that we’re worthless! Tastes and colors are not debatable, we may or may not please others, but that doesn’t call into question our worth 🙅.

How should you confess your feelings? - 4 Tips

Even if you feel love at first sight within seconds of meeting the person, it’s a good idea not to rush into anything 🔥. Yes, you need to admit your feelings, but you should take your time. This allows you to see if the feelings take hold over time, and treating it as if it’s your last relationship doesn’t help 🤯 !

1) Take the time to get to know the other person

What’s more, a physical crush is nice, but if in the end we realize that there’s a narcissistic pervert hiding behind a handsome appearance, it’s much less appealing… We need to learn to get to know our crush, to know if we really like them and if we have something in common with them. Staying only on the physical level isn’t good, because if there’s a relationship afterwards, it will be based only on appearance 😅...

Then, as time goes by, we can be more sure of how we feel before we admit our feelings. Do we see ourselves with someone else? Do we want to miss out on a good romance? Would we be happy to see our crush with someone else? If the answer to these questions is no, then our feelings are confirmed, so we might as well admit them! But we shouldn’t do it in just any way 😳...

2) Prepare your declaration

Yes, preparing what you want to say is important. At the time, I decided to practice with a video, so I could see how it looked. Well, I also showed it to my friends to see what they thought 😬! Finding support in their validation did me a lot of good, and it helped me not forget anything I wanted to say.

👉 After all, being spontaneous never hurts! If you feel that there’s something with your crush, and you tell yourself that it’s now or never, you should go for it. You need to make sure you listen to the good vibes.

3) Put aside your fears and shyness

I think this is the most difficult part of confessing our feelings. Putting aside our fear of rejection and shyness is never easy. What helped me to overcome this was repeating two things to myself:

  • That if the feelings were mutual, I would have a great adventure 🥰,
  • That if it wasn’t reciprocated, I would at least be able to move on 🤗.

Whatever the outcome of a declaration, you shouldn’t question what a great person you are. Convincing yourself of this allows you to put aside the doubts, you want to take action 🏃♀️!

4) Find the right time

It’s tempting to want to blurt out your declaration as soon as you feel ready, but you have to ask yourself when the person would be mentally available to receive it. I’d have liked to do this face to face, over a drink, but distance didn’t allow me to 🙃. So I had to do it via an online conversation, but taking into account my crush’s schedule.

Knowing that he was available reassured me, having time to talk is better. And I have to admit that not being in front of him was a way to really act on it. Yes, it’s never easy to admit your feelings in front of the other person, so you need to find the most comfortable way for you 😉.

You never lose anything by declaring your love. My outcome wasn’t positive, it was only friendship for him. I was able to understand this and even though it was difficult to hear at the time, I felt a huge relief afterwards. It freed me from feelings that wouldn’t have been reciprocated, and I was able to move on quickly. This wouldn’t have been the case if I hadn’t said what was on my mind. So don’t hesitate to say what you feel 🤗!

💡Practical tip time💡 How to get over being rejected

Loving rejection doesn't have to be a big problem if you know how to deal with it philosophically. That's why it's worth training ourselves in the ability to adapt to these situations, which will enable us to stop avoiding them from happening (running away from situations in which we should be expressing our feelings) and at the same time adapting to a series of events beyond our control and linked to another person's interests.


1. Doubting our own intentions
There's a strong social influence that drives us to be constantly on the lookout for a partner, even when we feel like being alone. A good way of dealing with rejection is to ask ourselves to what extent we feel a genuine desire to be with this person. The emotional intelligence that helps us see personal relationships from the right perspective is also linked to the ability to review and challenge assumptions about our own intentions, motivations and true goals.  

2. See the situation as an opportunity
Rejections in love can also be an opportunity to practice emotional management and become emotionally strong. The very fact of having the ability to resist situations where luck is not on your side is already a very valuable asset, and this ability can only be trained by taking advantage of moments of adversity. Dealing with rejection constructively will not only help the negative emotions associated with it to fade as we pay less attention to them, but it will also help us in our personal development plans.  

3. Recognize the power of attention management
We tend to believe that our perception of reality is given by our senses, but there's another factor we almost never take into account: attention. In cases where someone does something that makes us feel bad, we'll tend to focus on the unusual aspect that makes us feel bad (their hurtful phrases, their hostile attitude towards us, etc.) and we won't realize that it would be perfectly possible to perceive the same stimuli away from the unpleasant aspects of the scene. 

Is it embarrassing to confess your feelings?

Talking about feelings can be perceived differently by different people and in different contexts. Some people feel comfortable and even relieved to share their feelings, while others may feel embarrassment, fear of judgment, or vulnerability in expressing their emotions.

It's important to recognize that feelings are a natural part of our human experience and that it's healthy and important to acknowledge, understand and express them appropriately. Talking about feelings can help to strengthen relationships, gain emotional support, resolve conflicts, foster better mutual understanding, and promote mental well-being. However, everyone has their own way of processing and sharing their emotions. If you feel embarrassed to talk about your feelings, it can be helpful to explore the reasons for this. Sometimes this can be linked to experiences, social norms, or cultural pressures that influence our perception of emotional expression.

If you want to talk about your feelings but feel embarrassed, you might consider the following approaches:

  • Start with people you trust: Share your feelings with people you trust and who are receptive to your emotions. This can help you feel more comfortable and safe to open up.
  • Write: If talking about your feelings verbally makes you uncomfortable, try writing down your emotions in a diary or letter that you won't necessarily share with anyone else. This can help you clarify your feelings and understand them better.
  • Seek professional support: If you're finding it difficult to express your feelings, or if this is having a significant impact on your well-being, it may be beneficial to consult a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or therapist, who can help you explore and overcome these obstacles.

Editor’s note: Go for it!

As you’ll have understood, confessing your feelings isn’t easy, it requires a little preparation, but it’s essential. You can’t spend your time waiting, wondering what could have been, etc. Whether your feelings are reciprocated or not, admitting what you feel allows you to unblock the situation and be able to project yourself in the future, with or without the other person. However, it isn’t easy to lay yourself bare and confess your feelings to someone... If this situation is a source of suffering, if you’re stuck, don’t hesitate to contact a psychologist to discuss it together.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!

#BornToBeMe

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Article presented by Lauren Hart

Writing is a beautiful means of expression that I cannot do without. It has allowed me to channel my hypersensitivity, plus I love writing about psychology and personal development. For me, self-understanding is the best way to move forward!

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"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde