Should You Really Confess Your Feelings? How Do You Go About It?

Last updated by Lauren Hart

Who hasn’t had a crush in their life? You know, it’s when you fall for someone and have feelings for them even though you don’t really know them. I’m one of those people who have had lots of crushes, and sometimes I’ve even admitted my feelings. In fact, a recent example was just before I started my relationship with my current partner. I offloaded what I was feeling all of a sudden… I’ll tell you why I did it and how to go about it.

Should You Really Confess Your Feelings? How Do You Go About It?

Why should you confess your feelings?

It’s never easy to admit your feelings, but I think you absolutely should do it, it’s not a bad choice 🤗! The first reason is that your crush can’t just guess your feelings! Yes, unless you’re psychic, I don’t think many people notice feelings of love, especially when they’re very internalized. So we understand that it’s necessary to admit our feelings if we want something to happen. And if the other person doesn’t feel ready, at least they know about it 😬!

>>> Read about the fear of loving and how to overcome it

Don’t live with regrets

When I made the decision to confess my attraction to my then crush, I told myself that I had to do it to free myself. I was obsessed with my feelings, and it was all I could think about 😵💫! So obviously I was afraid of getting knocked back, but I figured that no matter how negative the outcome, at least it would be out there. I find that it stops you from living with regrets! I know I wouldn’t have been able to live with that weight and would have always wondered what would have happened if I hadn’t admitted my attraction 🧐.

We have nothing to lose by admitting to someone that we like them, even if we have to work on the wound of rejection. If the other person doesn’t respond to our feelings positively, it doesn’t mean that we’re worthless! Tastes and colors are not debatable, we may or may not please others, but that doesn’t call into question our worth 🙅.

How should you confess your feelings?

Even if you feel love at first sight within seconds of meeting the person, it’s a good idea not to rush into anything 🔥. Yes, you need to admit your feelings, but you should take your time. This allows you to see if the feelings take hold over time, and treating it as if it’s your last relationship doesn’t help 🤯 !

Take the time to get to know the other person

What’s more, a physical crush is nice, but if in the end we realize that there’s a narcissistic pervert hiding behind a handsome appearance, it’s much less appealing… We need to learn to get to know our crush, to know if we really like them and if we have something in common with them. Staying only on the physical level isn’t good, because if there’s a relationship afterwards, it will be based only on appearance 😅...

Then, as time goes by, we can be more sure of how we feel before we admit our feelings. Do we see ourselves with someone else? Do we want to miss out on a good romance? Would we be happy to see our crush with someone else? If the answer to these questions is no, then our feelings are confirmed, so we might as well admit them! But we shouldn’t do it in just any way 😳...

Prepare your declaration

Yes, preparing what you want to say is important. At the time, I decided to practice with a video, so I could see how it looked. Well, I also showed it to my friends to see what they thought 😬! Finding support in their validation did me a lot of good, and it helped me not forget anything I wanted to say.

👉 After all, being spontaneous never hurts! If you feel that there’s something with your crush, and you tell yourself that it’s now or never, you should go for it. You need to make sure you listen to the good vibes.

Put aside your fears and shyness

I think this is the most difficult part of confessing our feelings. Putting aside our fear of rejection and shyness is never easy. What helped me to overcome this was repeating two things to myself:

  • That if the feelings were mutual, I would have a great adventure 🥰,
  • That if it wasn’t reciprocated, I would at least be able to move on 🤗.

Whatever the outcome of a declaration, you shouldn’t question what a great person you are. Convincing yourself of this allows you to put aside the doubts, you want to take action 🏃♀️!

Find the right time

It’s tempting to want to blurt out your declaration as soon as you feel ready, but you have to ask yourself when the person would be mentally available to receive it. I’d have liked to do this face to face, over a drink, but distance didn’t allow me to 🙃. So I had to do it via an online conversation, but taking into account my crush’s schedule.

Knowing that he was available reassured me, having time to talk is better. And I have to admit that not being in front of him was a way to really act on it. Yes, it’s never easy to admit your feelings in front of the other person, so you need to find the most comfortable way for you 😉.

You never lose anything by declaring your love. My outcome wasn’t positive, it was only friendship for him. I was able to understand this and even though it was difficult to hear at the time, I felt a huge relief afterwards. It freed me from feelings that wouldn’t have been reciprocated, and I was able to move on quickly. This wouldn’t have been the case if I hadn’t said what was on my mind. So don’t hesitate to say what you feel 🤗!

Editor’s note: Go for it!

As you’ll have understood, confessing your feelings isn’t easy, it requires a little preparation, but it’s essential. You can’t spend your time waiting, wondering what could have been, etc. Whether your feelings are reciprocated or not, admitting what you feel allows you to unblock the situation and be able to project yourself in the future, with or without the other person. However, it isn’t easy to lay yourself bare and confess your feelings to someone... If this situation is a source of suffering, if you’re stuck, don’t hesitate to contact a psychologist to discuss it together.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!


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Article presented by Lauren Hart

Writing is a beautiful means of expression that I cannot do without. It has allowed me to channel my hypersensitivity, plus I love writing about psychology and personal development. For me, self-understanding is the best way to move forward!

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