What Are The Traits Of A Narcissist? 10 Alerting Characteristics

Last updated by Katie M.

Whether it’s your boss, your partner, or even a family member; we are all very likely to come into contact with what’s known as a narcissistic at one point or another. Now, we hear so much about them and especially about how dangerous they can be for us, so how can we be prepared to avoid falling into a destructive spiral with one? Well, the best solution to avoid plunging into precarious territory with one, is knowing how to recognize their narcissistic characteristics. Indeed, all types of narcissists exhibit common behavioral traits and attitudes, so without further ado, let’s explore them and learn to spot them.

What Are The Traits Of A Narcissist? 10 Alerting Characteristics
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Being around a narcissistic personality has truly damaging effects on both our self-esteem, and the perception we have of ourselves. Here we are dealing with a personality disorder characterized by a tendency to be self-centered, exaggerate one's talents and lack empathy. These traits can certainly become problematic for sufferers and those around them. In fact, sufferers often turn to bullying and gaslighting to get us to believe their own hype.

As it happens, 1% of the general population are narcissists; meaning being able to recognize them in your vicinity is absolutely crucial.

10 Example of narcissistic characters 

What are the characteristics of narcissistic behavior?

1. The person is hugely self-centered.

This facet of their personality runs deep, and they regularly behave in childish ways with their excessive sense of self-importance. When you discuss something together or tell a story, they will always make it about themselves. They have a strong tendency for megalomania and always feel the need to outdo others, whilst demanding attention and admiration.

2. They are incapable of showing empathy.

Likewise, people with narcissistic tendencies demonstrate terrifying emotional coldness. If their victim expresses discomfort because of something the narcissist has done, they will do everything to prove that their victim is wrong, and that they are indeed loving and caring. A lack of empathy is really one of the typical characteristics, because these folks aren’t affected by sadness and aren't bothered by making other people cry either. In some cases, knowing that they’ve hurt someone can even give them a certain pleasure.

>>> Read up on our tips to recognizing a sociopath

3. They see themselves as being THE most important person in the room.

People with NPD overestimate their accomplishments and expect to be recognized as superior, without having accomplished anything that would warrant such recognition. They also constantly put forward certain successes or strengths without nuance, and aren't shy in amplifying these so-called accomplishments. They are often absorbed by fantasies of unlimited success, power, splendor, beauty or ideal love. However, this in fact translates into them being dissatisfied with their everyday life.

4. They lie and are always vague.

They will never clearly express their opinions, feelings, or needs. Instead, they constantly seek to maintain ambiguity so that their victim continually tries to understand them. Lying is also common amongst them, and they spend their time inventing stories to make themselves look good. Indeed, they have a huge need for recognition and will do anything to flatter their inflated ego.

5. They tend to criticize and devalue.

They belittle their victims in order to better control them and enhance their own self-esteem. Furthermore, they’ll attack people’s appearance by making negative comments about weight and even dress sense, for example. When this is repeated on a daily basis, these phrases undermine the victim's self-confidence and make them doubt themselves. Humiliation, intimidation, verbal and psychological violence are also common tactics they use.

6. They demand perfection from others.

They believe that people must respond immediately to their questions and needs. With a narcissistic pervert, there is absolutely no room for error because they simply don’t forgive. They’ll remember everything and often bring things up from the past that could embarrass you or make you look bad. For one of them, you’ll never be good enough to meet their expectations.

>>> This article might interest you: How to stand up to a narcissistic manipulator

7. They are two-faced.

A narcissistic personality is difficult to identify because they play a double game. On the one hand, they will be incredibly psychologically violent, but on the other, they will come across as charming and polite. From the outside, nothing appears off, which is why so many people’s entourages are shocked when they find out who they are really dealing with.

8. They know how to win people over.

Think you're safe from this kind of person? Beware, because once the manipulator has spotted their prey, they know very well how to lure them in. They come across as very charismatic and endearing, which means that only few people resist them. They will tell you what you want to hear and play the Prince Charming card, yes that’s right, they’ll seem like the dream partner… until they reveal their true intentions.

9. They feel inferior, but will never show it.

Someone suffering from this disorder will display arrogant and haughty attitudes towards people, and won't hesitate to put them down. That's right, they need to discredit other people in order to feel better about themselves and what they have to offer as people. Their behavior is also likely to be tinged with a sense of dominance.

10. They get angry when they aren't in control.

They regularly need to verify that they have complete control over their victim, and that they are completely isolated. To accomplish this, they know how to confuse their victim and make them believe falsehoods. If this happens, it is best to analyze their actions rather than their words, so that you can truly know who you are dealing with.

How can you deal with a narcissistic personality?

When faced with this type of personality, you must not provoke them by letting them know that you are on to them, because it would cause intense panic. With this type of personality, you must be intelligent and cunning. You must put your weaknesses aside, avoid confiding in him and show that you have good self-esteem, because they will treat you the way you treat yourself.

Their manipulative power is formidable. They are so devious that they have what it takes to fool everyone along their path, including even specialists, doctors, and psychologists. Nevertheless, when you are in a toxic relationship with one, time is on their side, since they use it to create a psychological and emotional dependence, which is why you must react quickly.

>>> Find out whether a narcissist can love you

What words do narcissists use? - Recognize them through their communication

Recognizing a narcissistic personality also involves analyzing their language and vocabulary, which are very often punctuated with superlatives and typical phrases, such as the following:

  • "Look at everything I do for you"
  • "I love you like I've never loved anyone before".
  • "I'm unlucky in my relationships"
  • "I never did that, I never said that"
  • "It's your fault you get into these states, not mine"

Likewise, their communication patterns are unclear, therefore they like to keep an element of ambiguity in everything they say to you in order to deliberately confuse you. For example, they will purposely change the conversation and focus on things other than what you are saying to distract you, or he will spontaneously leave the conversation on the pretext of an emergency. Overall, communicating with a narcissist is impossible!

Editor’s opinion: Here every second counts

There are three important steps when it comes to identifying this type of toxic behavior, and they include;

1. Listening carefully to words: If the manipulator abounds with positive superlatives to seduce you and draw you in, you’ll need to have your wits about you.
2. Analyze what you feel in their presence. Doing this will soon reveal what state of mind you are in.
3. Study their behavior; do their supposedly positive actions betray them?

It is critical to react quickly when faced with a narcissistic, the more the days go by, the more their hold over you grows.


🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe


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Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

I really like your posts they were so helpful I was married to someone for 23 years who turned out to be a narcissist or always was what I just didn't know what when was you explained it so vividly I know he used my children to try to hurt me and he didn't even care about them he didn't remember their birthdays he didn't know who their teachers were but as soon as I decided to leave he became so-called great father of the year to come to Disney World that their teachers tried to get them to hit me and say bad words to me and I'm daughter did and I don't think she ever got over it I know she feels terrible but years in years are going by where I've tried to reach out to her tell her that it wasn't her fault she was a little girl it's still heartbreaking from you right before we got divorced she went to psychiatrist he showed me what the psychiatrist wrote! I don't know why he did that but the psychiatrist said he was a severe narcissist no matter what happened it would never be his fault no matter how bad it was I'm so glad I'm not married to him anymore I tried to warn his next wife but she ignored it even while he threw me down the steps that's when I had to go to the women's shelter with my son

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"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


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