Can A Narcissist Love You? No, They Are Incapable Of Love

You probably already flinched when you read the title, but this is a topic that needs to be touched on because we come across narcissists in every walk of life, especially when we date. Evidently, no one ever intentionally falls head over heels for someone who’d classify for this category, but as we all know, we don’t exactly control our feelings when it comes to whom we fall for! Plus, narcissists are extremely talented at luring people in, which makes them irresistible to most of us. The question here is; are these folks capable of putting their natural tendencies to the side and loving wholeheartedly, or are their claims nothing but an act?

Contents:

No, love and narcissism are quite frankly incompatible

One of the consequences of having a narcissistic personality is the incapacity to lead healthy relationships. The inability to love truly goes hand in hand with this disorder. The struggle to build balanced relationships doesn’t just touch on love, and can indeed also spill over into friendships as well as the professional sphere too. This troubling personality syndrome means that people suffering from it are unable to show love because their overinflated egos and sense of importance mean they lack empathy and struggle to express positive feelings. Although their high self-esteem is more often than nothing but a mask, this facade prevents them from experiencing relationships to the fullest and accepting people for who they are.

>>> Learn more about the traits of a narcissist

The truth is a narcissist will never be fulfilled in a relationship

Dissatisfaction is their worst enemy and because it’s at the root of their disorder, they deal with these feelings on a daily basis. So, when taking this into account; why would it be any different for them in a relationship? Relationships are complicated, that’s for sure, and for them to work out in the long run, concessions have to be made. However, in order to make those important concessions, you need to genuinely care about your partner’s feelings and view them as highly as your own. Evidently, this requirement isn’t something that a narcissist is able to do because they view themselves as being way more important than anyone else. That's right, this means that their needs must take priority. For them, they are all that matters, and no matter how hard anyone tries to change that, this will unfortunately always remain a fact.

You’ll unfortunately never be good enough...

People who suffer from this disorder like to feel untouchable and NEED for others to believe they live amazing lives worthy of being on magazine covers. Their superiority complex and need to feel admired mean they will never be satisfied in love and will always want to change their partner; whether that be their appearance or even their beliefs. The sad thing is, no matter how hard their partners try, they’ll always fall short and will never live up to their expectations and demands.

In a nutshell, these are separate individuals who don’t really pay much attention to their partner’s happiness and only ever focus on themselves, suggesting they make horrible partners. In their eyes, their point of view is the only one that counts, meaning they are unwilling to change or make the efforts necessary to preserve anyone’s feelings. If you have ever been involved with a narcissist, you’ll no doubt already know that they are totally incapable of considering anyone else. These folks do in fact lack the capacity to accept other people and not just those who don’t live up to their standards. 

Sad woman

If you’ve ever dated one, you’ll probably also have memories of you feeling abandoned and totally unsupported in times of need, despite having reached out to them for help and guidance.

> Discover exactly what a narcissist hates <

Love is a commodity for them, a simple means to an end

True love doesn’t exist for these folks and if they try to claim any different and profess their feelings for you, take their words with a pinch of salt because narcissists lie to get what they want. Indeed, in order to make themselves look and feel good, they’ll do anything and everything, which means we must remain vigilant around them. These people are scarily self-serving and if they believe that being in a relationship with someone will benefit them in some way, they won’t hold back on pretending to be infatuated. Anything you have to offer them is up for grabs, and that includes money, sex, admiration, or status.Frustrated couple

In the most severe cases, some of them have been known to go as far as getting married to get what they want, albeit for the wrong reasons. Yep, you’ve guessed it, the practical side appeals to them more than real and raw emotions ever will.

What should you do if someone with a narcissistic personality claims to love you?

As brutal as it may sound, you need to keep your wits about you and come to the realization that you are being emotionally abused and taken advantage of. The bottom line is these types of personalities aren’t equipped to lead healthy and fulfilling love stories, so if you are dating a narcissistic person, you're no doubt in a toxic relationship. Although you may not want to hurt your partner’s feelings, you need to put yourself first and decide what’s best for you. If you want to be valued and accepted for who you are, then you’d best walk away and take some time out to rebuild your self-confidence and esteem.

>>> Discover how you can help victims of a narcissistic pervert

Editor’s opinion: Change isn’t an option here

Our personality traits form an essential part of our identities and cannot be changed. No matter how hard we work in particular on our flaws and weaknesses, we’ll never be able to completely change them, because that’s who we are. The only thing we can really do is mask them, but placing a band-aid over a wound isn’t what heals it, and that’s what masking our traits can be likened to. If you believe you are with someone who presents the traits mentioned above, you need to think seriously about your future and what you want for yourself. As for the narcissists out there, you need to stay true to yourself and avoid becoming romantically involved with other people in order to spare them the heartbreak.

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"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


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