Can A Narcissist Love You? No, They Can't, So Don't Fall For Their Lies

Last updated by Katie M.

You probably already flinched when you read the title, but this is a topic that needs to be touched on because we come across narcissists in every walk of life, especially when we date. Evidently, no one ever intentionally falls head over heels for someone who’d classify for this category, but as we all know, we don’t exactly control our feelings when it comes to whom we fall for! Plus, narcissists are extremely talented at luring people in, which makes them irresistible to most of us. The question here is; are these folks capable of putting their natural tendencies to the side and loving wholeheartedly, or are their claims nothing but an act?

Can A Narcissist Love You? No, They Can't, So Don't Fall For Their Lies
Contents:

Do narcissists love? No, real love and narcissism are quite frankly incompatible

One of the consequences of having a narcissistic personality is the incapacity to lead healthy relationships. The inability to express love truly goes hand in hand with this disorder. The struggle to build balanced relationships doesn’t just touch on love, and can indeed also spill over into friendships as well as the professional sphere too. This troubling personality syndrome means that people suffering from it are unable to show love because their overinflated egos and sense of importance mean they lack empathy and struggle to express positive feelings. Although their high self-esteem is more often nothing but a mask, this facade prevents them from experiencing love relationships to the fullest and accepting people for who they are.

>>> Learn more about the traits of a narcissist

The truth is a narcissist will never be fulfilled in a relationship

Dissatisfaction is their worst enemy and because it’s at the root of their disorder, they deal with these feelings on a daily basis. So, when taking this into account; why would it be any different for them in a relationship? Relationships are complicated, that’s for sure, and for them to work out in the long run, concessions have to be made. However, in order to make those important concessions, you need to genuinely care about your romantic partner’s feelings and view them as highly as your own. Evidently, this requirement isn’t something that a narcissist partner is able to do because they view themselves as being way more important than anyone else. That's right, this means that their needs must take priority. For them, they are all that matters, and no matter how hard anyone tries to change that, this will unfortunately always remain a fact.

You’ll unfortunately never be good enough for a narcissistic abuser...

People who suffer from this mental health disorder like to feel untouchable and NEED for others to believe they live amazing lives worthy of being on magazine covers. Their superiority complex and need to feel admired mean they will never be satisfied in love and will always want to change their partner; whether that be their appearance or even their beliefs. The sad thing is, no matter how hard their partners try, they’ll always fall short and will never live up to their expectations and demands.

In a nutshell, these are separate individuals who don’t really pay much attention to their partner’s happiness and only ever focus on themselves, suggesting they make horrible partners. In their eyes, their point of view is the only one that counts, meaning they are unwilling to change or make the efforts necessary to preserve anyone’s feelings. If you have ever been involved with a narcissist, you’ll no doubt already know that they are totally incapable of considering anyone else. These folks do in fact lack the capacity to accept other people, and not just those who don’t live up to their standards. 

Sad woman

If you’ve ever dated one, you’ll probably also have memories of you feeling abandoned and totally unsupported in times of need, despite having reached out to them for help and guidance.

> Discover exactly what a narcissist hates <

Love is a commodity for them, a simple means to an end

True love doesn’t exist for these folks and if they try to claim any different and profess their feelings for you, take their words with a pinch of salt because narcissists lie to get what they want. Indeed, in order to make themselves look and feel good, they’ll do anything and everything, which means we must remain vigilant around them. These people are scarily self-serving and if they believe that being in a relationship with someone will benefit them in some way, they won’t hold back on pretending to be infatuated. Anything you have to offer them is up for grabs, and that includes money, sex, admiration, or status.Frustrated couple

In the most severe cases, some of them have been known to go as far as getting married to get what they want, albeit for the wrong reasons. Yep, you’ve guessed it, the practical side appeals to them more than real and raw emotions ever will.

What should you do if someone with a narcissistic personality claims to love you?

As brutal as it may sound, you need to keep your wits about you and come to the realization that you are being emotionally abused and taken advantage of. The bottom line is these types of personalities aren’t equipped to lead healthy and fulfilling love stories, so if you are dating a narcissistic person, you're no doubt in a toxic relationship. Although you may not want to hurt your partner’s feelings, you need to put yourself first and decide what’s best for you. If you want to be valued and accepted for who you are, then you’d best walk away and take some time out to rebuild your self-confidence and esteem.

>>> Discover how you can help victims of a narcissistic pervert

Does a narcissist want to be loved?

Above all, a narcissist wants to be admired, which explains why romantic relationships aren’t really high on their agendas. They want to feel special and important without necessarily involving romantic feelings. The truth is, as long as they feel looked up to and held in esteem, they are happy. However, that being said, if ever people with this dangerous personality disorder meet someone they believe could benefit them in their lives, they won’t hesitate to claim that they have fallen in love with them. They are great actors, and certainly never want to miss out on opportunities to progress along their paths, even if it means following their narcissistic relationship pattern step by step.

How does a narcissist show love?

The short answer is, in a totally different way from everyone else! A narcissist’s profile is defined as a chameleon. In other words, these folks will adapt their behavior according to the people around him. Language is their best weapon to establish his hold on you and create a relationship of domination.

From the narcissist’s point of view, they will feel that they are providing you with all the love you need. They will think and say that they are in love with you, even if it means turning certain situations against you. Likewise, they will detect the flaws of his victims and tend to look for a hypersensitive person to get their way, as they see these people as easier to manipulate. Furthermore, once their victims are under their control, they may develop disorders (eating disorder, depression...). Here, their strategy is to adapt to his victim's needs. But, keep in mind that making a narcissist fall in love is not possible.

The narcissistic pervert has their own thoughts, and making them fall in love is totally impossible. They will see the practical side of you rather than the feelings you have for your relationship. In a way, you are their right-hand man for daily tasks such as cleaning, cooking, and laundry. Plus, they may see you as a means to satisfy their sexual needs.

Editor’s opinion: Change isn’t an option here

Our personality traits form an essential part of our identities and cannot be changed. No matter how hard we work in particular on our flaws and weaknesses, we’ll never be able to completely change them, because that’s who we are. The only thing we can really do is mask them, but placing a band-aid over a wound isn’t what heals it, and that’s what masking our traits can be likened to. If you believe you are with someone who presents the traits mentioned above, you need to think seriously about your future and what you want for yourself. As for the narcissists out there, you need to stay true to yourself and avoid becoming romantically involved with other people in order to spare them the heartbreak.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

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It’s time to set the record straight, although male narcissists typically get a lot of flack, yet, female covert narcissists are just, if not even more dangerous than the guys. These women are the definition of devious and know how to wrap people around their little fingers without anyone ever really catching on to their behavior and conniving ways. 🦹‍♀️ They are a force to be reckoned with and certainly never back down from the challenge of breaking someone’s soul. Here are insights into how to identify a female covert narcissist and how to deal with one.

Do We Always Need To Have The Last Word?

Today, I’m focussing on a habit that drives me crazy: wanting to have the last word. It’s probably because I’m not very good at comebacks or self-confident enough that I’m both fascinated and annoyed by people who always want to be right. But why do they always want to have the last word? What’s behind it?

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Do you remember back in the day when you were a teen and constantly fought with your parents, and in particular your mom? Whether it was because you wanted to stay out past your curfew or chose to parade around in your new miniskirt, many of us have faced constant battles with our mothers. However, for those of us dealing with a narcissistic mom, the problems don’t stop when we finish puberty, no, in fact, they stick with us throughout our lives and make it impossible for us to establish a healthy relationship with the person who brought us into the world. Now, if the scenarios below seem all too familiar, then you might just have been raised by a narcissist.

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Whether it’s your boss, your partner, or even a family member; we are all very likely to come into contact with what’s known as a narcissistic at one point or another. Now, we hear so much about them and especially about how dangerous they can be for us, so how can we be prepared to avoid falling into a destructive spiral with one? Well, the best solution to avoid plunging into precarious territory with one, is knowing how to recognize their narcissistic characteristics. Indeed, all types of narcissists exhibit common behavioral traits and attitudes, so without further ado, let’s explore them and learn to spot them.

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Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

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  1. Only LoveBen Howard
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  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
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  4. Beautiful DayU2
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  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
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  6. White FlagDido
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  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
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  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
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  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
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  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
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  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
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  19. WingsBirdy
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  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
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