Can A Narcissist Love You? No, They Can't, So Don't Fall For Their Lies

Last updated by Katie M.

You probably already flinched when you read the title, but this is a topic that needs to be touched on because we come across narcissists in every walk of life, especially when we date. Evidently, no one ever intentionally falls head over heels for someone who’d classify for this category, but as we all know, we don’t exactly control our feelings when it comes to whom we fall for! Plus, narcissists are extremely talented at luring people in, which makes them irresistible to most of us. The question here is; are these folks capable of putting their natural tendencies to the side and loving wholeheartedly, or are their claims nothing but an act?

Can A Narcissist Love You? No, They Can't, So Don't Fall For Their Lies
Contents:

Do narcissists love? No, real love and narcissism are quite frankly incompatible

One of the consequences of having a narcissistic personality is the incapacity to lead healthy relationships. The inability to express love truly goes hand in hand with this disorder. The struggle to build balanced relationships doesn’t just touch on love, and can indeed also spill over into friendships as well as the professional sphere too. This troubling personality syndrome means that people suffering from it are unable to show love because their overinflated egos and sense of importance mean they lack empathy and struggle to express positive feelings. Although their high self-esteem is more often nothing but a mask, this facade prevents them from experiencing love relationships to the fullest and accepting people for who they are.

>>> Learn more about the traits of a narcissist

The truth is a narcissist will never be fulfilled in a relationship

Dissatisfaction is their worst enemy and because it’s at the root of their disorder, they deal with these feelings on a daily basis. So, when taking this into account; why would it be any different for them in a relationship? Relationships are complicated, that’s for sure, and for them to work out in the long run, concessions have to be made. However, in order to make those important concessions, you need to genuinely care about your romantic partner’s feelings and view them as highly as your own. Evidently, this requirement isn’t something that a narcissist partner is able to do because they view themselves as being way more important than anyone else. That's right, this means that their needs must take priority. For them, they are all that matters, and no matter how hard anyone tries to change that, this will unfortunately always remain a fact.

You’ll unfortunately never be good enough for a narcissistic abuser...

People who suffer from this mental health disorder like to feel untouchable and NEED for others to believe they live amazing lives worthy of being on magazine covers. Their superiority complex and need to feel admired mean they will never be satisfied in love and will always want to change their partner; whether that be their appearance or even their beliefs. The sad thing is, no matter how hard their partners try, they’ll always fall short and will never live up to their expectations and demands.

In a nutshell, these are separate individuals who don’t really pay much attention to their partner’s happiness and only ever focus on themselves, suggesting they make horrible partners. In their eyes, their point of view is the only one that counts, meaning they are unwilling to change or make the efforts necessary to preserve anyone’s feelings. If you have ever been involved with a narcissist, you’ll no doubt already know that they are totally incapable of considering anyone else. These folks do in fact lack the capacity to accept other people, and not just those who don’t live up to their standards. 

Sad woman

If you’ve ever dated one, you’ll probably also have memories of you feeling abandoned and totally unsupported in times of need, despite having reached out to them for help and guidance.

> Discover exactly what a narcissist hates <

Love is a commodity for them, a simple means to an end

True love doesn’t exist for these folks and if they try to claim any different and profess their feelings for you, take their words with a pinch of salt because narcissists lie to get what they want. Indeed, in order to make themselves look and feel good, they’ll do anything and everything, which means we must remain vigilant around them. These people are scarily self-serving and if they believe that being in a relationship with someone will benefit them in some way, they won’t hold back on pretending to be infatuated. Anything you have to offer them is up for grabs, and that includes money, sex, admiration, or status.Frustrated couple

In the most severe cases, some of them have been known to go as far as getting married to get what they want, albeit for the wrong reasons. Yep, you’ve guessed it, the practical side appeals to them more than real and raw emotions ever will.

What should you do if someone with a narcissistic personality claims to love you?

As brutal as it may sound, you need to keep your wits about you and come to the realization that you are being emotionally abused and taken advantage of. The bottom line is these types of personalities aren’t equipped to lead healthy and fulfilling love stories, so if you are dating a narcissistic person, you're no doubt in a toxic relationship. Although you may not want to hurt your partner’s feelings, you need to put yourself first and decide what’s best for you. If you want to be valued and accepted for who you are, then you’d best walk away and take some time out to rebuild your self-confidence and esteem.

>>> Discover how you can help victims of a narcissistic pervert

Does a narcissist want to be loved?

Above all, a narcissist wants to be admired, which explains why romantic relationships aren’t really high on their agendas. They want to feel special and important without necessarily involving romantic feelings. The truth is, as long as they feel looked up to and held in esteem, they are happy. However, that being said, if ever people with this dangerous personality disorder meet someone they believe could benefit them in their lives, they won’t hesitate to claim that they have fallen in love with them. They are great actors, and certainly never want to miss out on opportunities to progress along their paths, even if it means following their narcissistic relationship pattern step by step.

How does a narcissist show love?

The short answer is, in a totally different way from everyone else! A narcissist’s profile is defined as a chameleon. In other words, these folks will adapt their behavior according to the people around him. Language is their best weapon to establish his hold on you and create a relationship of domination.

From the narcissist’s point of view, they will feel that they are providing you with all the love you need. They will think and say that they are in love with you, even if it means turning certain situations against you. Likewise, they will detect the flaws of his victims and tend to look for a hypersensitive person to get their way, as they see these people as easier to manipulate. Furthermore, once their victims are under their control, they may develop disorders (eating disorder, depression...). Here, their strategy is to adapt to his victim's needs. But, keep in mind that making a narcissist fall in love is not possible.

The narcissistic pervert has their own thoughts, and making them fall in love is totally impossible. They will see the practical side of you rather than the feelings you have for your relationship. In a way, you are their right-hand man for daily tasks such as cleaning, cooking, and laundry. Plus, they may see you as a means to satisfy their sexual needs.

Editor’s opinion: Change isn’t an option here

Our personality traits form an essential part of our identities and cannot be changed. No matter how hard we work in particular on our flaws and weaknesses, we’ll never be able to completely change them, because that’s who we are. The only thing we can really do is mask them, but placing a band-aid over a wound isn’t what heals it, and that’s what masking our traits can be likened to. If you believe you are with someone who presents the traits mentioned above, you need to think seriously about your future and what you want for yourself. As for the narcissists out there, you need to stay true to yourself and avoid becoming romantically involved with other people in order to spare them the heartbreak.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

More interesting content:

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Test Out The 36 Questions That Lead You To Finding Love

Imagine if you could fall in love in just 36 questions? Well, it's possible! An experiment conducted by the American researcher in psychology, Arthur Aron, was set up to study this possibility. Thanks to the questions of the experiment, it is in fact possible to fall in love with a stranger or to rekindle the flame between two exes. Whether you believe the hype or not, it might be interesting to put things to the test and to discover the questions of the experiment! After all, these 36 little interrogations could lead you to finding the love of your life.

Mindfulness Meditation

Ah meditation! Who still hasn’t heard of it? For several years now, this practice has been gaining in popularity. Is it a need to slow down or a desire to find a haven of peace in an ever-changing and stressful world? Maybe. What exactly is mindfulness meditation? What are the benefits? And is it good for everyone? 1, 2, 3, breathe and dive into a more zen world!

What Causes Our Nightmares?

It's still dark when I open my eyes, and my heart is pounding out of my chest. In any case, phew, because I'm still alive and kicking. That man who was chasing me through that abandoned house wasn’t real, and I haven’t been chopped up into hundreds of little pieces. It was all just a bad dream... Like many people, I often have nightmares and have decided that I want to get to the bottom as to why. Let’s take a look together at what causes these disturbing dreams and traumatic events. 😱

Am I In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship?

Love is such an unpredictable journey that it gives the perfect cover for emotionally abusive partners to hide behind masks of perfect Mr. Darcy-like characters. Now, let's face it, no devious manipulator enters a relationship by showing their true colors. In the beginning, they make for caring and supportive partners, that is, until they've got you completely hooked. Once they believe you are sufficiently spellbound by them, they'll put their despicable plan of emotional abuse into play, and their victims won't suspect a thing before it's too late. Signs of emotional mistreatment aren't always easy to pick up on, however, these types of partners do have a common modus operandi.

8 Reasons Why Malignant Narcissists Are So Dangerous

If the title of this article hasn’t totally scared you away, then you are no doubt wondering what this beast of a person is really like. Well, a malignant narcissist is a step up from a typical narcissist and adds an antisocial personality disorder to the already intimidating mixture. Combined, these two personality disorders represent the relentless need for control, admiration, and power for selfish reasons, making folks with this diagnosis that bit scarier than classic manipulators. Here’s why these people are so terrifying, and how you can get your own back on them.

What Are The Weaknesses Of A Narcissist?

Each one of us has our own weaknesses that hold us back in life; be it at work or in relationships. However, on a more positive note, most of us have the will to work on them and transform them. That being said, once narcissists are brought into the picture, the idea that they want to work on their weaknesses doesn’t exactly seem feasible. For a deeper understanding of these narcissists and more insights into the workings of their minds, discover their weak spots and which pointers they struggle with on a daily basis, yet aren't willing to admit or work on.

Why Do Couples No Longer Fight To Save Their Relationships?

Seeing the number of couples who divorce or separate around us, a legitimate question arises and that is; do we fight less than previous generations to save our relationships? At the first sign of trouble, many of us seem willing to give up and move on to fresher pastures in the love department, that's right, we tend to believe that the grass is greener elsewhere. Is it because we were never truly head over heels for our partner? And, is it naïve to think that love can be everlasting?

I’m Nostalgic; But How Can I Stop Looking Back?

Whenever I have trouble sleeping, whenever I’m bored or whenever my thoughts wander, it’s not uncommon for me to find myself reliving my childhood vacations, or a delightful weekend in bed or even my wedding day. Sometimes I even shed a tear thinking about these moments in my past… Yes, I’m nostalgic, and I love revisiting memories, but that has to stop! Discover the steps to put in place if you want to live in the present!

10 Examples Of Text Messages A Narcissist Sends

Narcissists definitely move with the times, which is why many of them constantly troll dating sites for new victims. Chatting with a manipulator of this magnitude can be a rollercoaster experience, with dizzying heights that might lead you to believe you are in love, to gut-wrenching lows which will make you question your worth. For any raving narcissist, text message exchanges are a great way to reel in victims and follow through with their master plans for ultimate control over them. Are you texting someone you suspect to be a narcissist? The examples below could confirm your suspicions.

Are Narcissists Lonely?

Loneliness is one of society’s biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population. Now, lots of us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and strong-willed to feel lonely, however, the truth is they are often the biggest victims of this phenomenon, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner malaise.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:19
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack