Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate

Last updated by Katie M.

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate
Contents:

Narcissists are in fact MADE and not born as such

Although for the most part psychoanalyst experts agree that the narcissistic personality disorder appears in most sufferers at around the age of 18, they do also believe that the groundwork for these traits is laid in early childhood. Early childhood experiences are known to have huge influences on our personalities and the types of people we go on to become in later life.

As toddlers, our developmental stage is crucial and when children grow up with a lack of supervision, rules and guidance, they tend to believe that they are completely alone and in charge. When children between the ages of 2-4 experience this feeling, the brain becomes convinced that they are the center of the world and don’t need to take other people into consideration. Indeed, here their sense of self falls into overdrive, which leads to disastrous consequences afterwards.

>>> Read; Can a narcissist love you?

Parents are responsible for instilling an unjustified winner’s attitude

As parents, we’re probably all guilty of telling our children how smart and amazing they are. After all, we’d probably do anything to see them smile, to the point when they finish last in a race, we constantly rack our brains to come up with reasons as to why in fact they are the true winners. On the surface, trying to build our children’s confidence doesn’t exactly sound problematic, but when it’s taken to the extreme, it can be completely detrimental to their development and can lead to a superiority complex. Instilling in children that they are fabulous doesn’t teach them to recognize their errors and can even give them God-like complexes, turning them into the perfect narcissists.

Narcissism originates from a lack of boundaries

Let’s focus on childhood again because it is one of the most important stages of our lives in terms of character development and formation. When little to no boundaries are imposed upon us, we tend to think we are the boss and can do what we want, without having to face any sort of consequences. Boundaries are essential for learning the respect necessary to build healthy relationships in the future, and are much harder to learn as an adult.

Children imitate their parents’ behavior

Studies have shown that narcissistic parents often go on to have narcissistic children too. Indeed, parents with this profile lack the empathy necessary to nourish their children and give them the love and guidance they need to grow into respectable members of society. The sad part is that they often see their kids more as a possession or a convenience than anything else, which creates an environment propitious to toxicity.

What kind of upbringing creates a narcissist?

Many people think that you become narcissistic because you suffered as a child. But it is not as simple as that... Far from it! As with all other psychological problems and personality disorders, childhood also plays an important role in narcissism. Although genetic factors can also influence it, a person's family dynamics and upbringing form the basis of narcissism. So, how does the childhood of the narcissistic pervert explain his or her profile as an emotional manipulator? Although family dynamics cannot be the only reason, it is believed that certain parental behaviors make the child more vulnerable to this disorder.

Some researchers on the subject also put forward the thesis that parental neglect leads to narcissistic perversion in adulthood. Others point to toxic parents who also have narcissistic tendencies. The manipulative parent creates an environment that is so distressing for his or her child that the child uses mechanisms to protect him or herself. More often than not, the child reproduces the same behaviors as the parent in adulthood. Even more serious, the birth of the narcissist can also result from abuse by a parent, physical violence, but also psychological. In short, the origins of narcissistic perversion are often to be found in a dysfunctional family.

Editor’s opinion - No one is born bad

We hear a lot of outlandish theories related to people we regard as evil; be it serial killers or narcissists, however, the conclusion is always the same; these people were forced to become this way. If we look at ‘evil people’s’ pasts, we often notice a common trend of neglect, mistreatment and often bullying, which they go on to replicate as adults, after all, we often repeat what we experience and this makes for a vicious circle in most cases. As babies, we are pure and all have good souls, yet as we mature, the traumas we are subjected to often change us and skew our personalities into becoming dangerous and harmful when it comes to mental health.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

More related content:

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Emotional Blocks

I feel like I run into walls a lot in my life and even get them stuck in my head! However, even if I manage to pick myself back up, some of them seem insurmountable. Feeling paralyzed by a situation or an experience is called an emotional block. Many of us encounter them in our lives because of a negative experience. They prevent us from living life to the full, from having balance, and from being truly happy. So how do we get rid of them? The good news is that we can jump over these walls. Here’s how.

I’m Always Angry, Why? What’s Behind It?

The pressure builds up quickly, and then suddenly you’re telling them where to get off. Anger washes over us like a wave, an uncontrollable tidal wave. Even though it sounds impressive, it’s normal to feel angry. Everyone experiences it. But where it becomes problematic is when it’s constant and violent. Why might we feel angry all the time? What’s behind it? When everything’s getting on top of us, we need to go back to the roots of our anger to get rid of it and live more serenely.

Somniloquy: Why Do Some People Talk In Their Sleep?

“You know you told me your life story last night?” Of course, telling your partner what you’ve been up to is pretty cool. Except if you do it in your sleep… Some people can talk in their sleep! So if you live on your own, no problem, but if you sleep with someone, it immediately becomes more annoying. Why do we talk in our sleep? Is it something that can disturb our sleep? What can we do to stop it?

Why Do I Feel Like Stay Home All The Time?

I like being and staying at home. It’s almost unthinkable to say that, having lived through a year of the pandemic and lockdowns, yet I’m one of those who doesn’t get bored at home. And I confess, I’m sometimes reluctant to leave the house. Blasphemy! Being a home bird is often perceived badly, but I’m ok with it, and I’m not as anti-social as it seems…

What's The Point In Getting Married Nowadays?

Now there’s a good question! Personally, I’d never dreamed of getting married, but all of that changed rather recently. The princess dress, the veil, the first dance, all that seemed a bit overwhelming for me. And yet, do you know what? I’ve been married for just over 3 years now. So, why did I make a U-turn on my opinion towards this commitment? The answer is; purely because of love.

Is It Time For You To Change Jobs? Will This Make Your Life Better?

I’m 30 years old and I can’t imagine myself doing the same job my whole life. Sometimes I dream of simple things like working with flowers. I keep this idea in the back of my head; becoming a florist would one day be a great adventure! Because yes, changing jobs isn’t impossible! Sometimes we get bored of our everyday routine, we don’t identify with what we do anymore, we no longer like our job, etc. So many reasons can lead to a career change!

6 Differences Between Being Self-Centered And Being A Narcissist

When it comes to mental health disorders, the parameters of each condition often seem blurry, and this explains why many of us have trouble identifying them. Plus, certain disorders frequently encompass similar symptoms and traits, making recognizing and therefore understanding them even more complicated. Let’s take being selfish and having a narcissistic personality disorder, for example. Because they overlap on such a huge scale, upon first glance, they do in fact seem indistinguishable to many of us. That being said, when you dig a little deeper, the differences do become more and more apparent.

How Do You Know A Narcissist Is Cheating?

Narcissism is wholly incompatible with healthy relationships, which goes some way in explaining why people with this personality disorder always believe the grass is greener elsewhere. Indeed, fidelity isn’t something they excel in and adds to their exhaustive list of weaknesses alongside their love of manipulation and dishonesty. However, they are so cunning and crafty that catching them out and confirming your intuitions is no easy feat. To make things easier for you, here are the 10 signs you need to look out for if you believe your narcissistic man is cheating on you.

10 Signs The Narcissist Discarding Phase Has Been Activated

The most important thing to understand when dealing with a narcissist is that their reign of terror won't last forever. Now, whilst their torment underway, it will no doubt be one of the most harrowing things you can mentally go through. However, when the abuser decides they've had enough of you, they'll halt their horrific abuse in a heartbeat and look for someone else. People with narcissistic personality disorders are constantly on the lookout for new prey and when they find someone who fills their criteria, they'll move into the discarding phase of their plan. After all, they aren't very eco-friendly, their motto is out with the old, in with the new!

8 Dangerous Mind Games That All Narcissists Play

People with narcissistic personality disorders love playing games because it reinforces their sense of control and validates their need to pull the strings. Now, the idea of playing games may seem fairly harmless and innocent, but the truth could be further away from the reality when these manipulative personalities are involved. Indeed, narcissists are always one step ahead of the rest of us, which makes it difficult to recognize when they are toying with people. So, to open your eyes to what they are truly capable of, discover the lengths they’ll go to, to remain on top.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to soothe an anxiety attack