Are Narcissists Born Or Raised?

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent.

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Narcissists are in fact MADE and not born as such

Although for the most part psychoanalyst experts agree that the narcissistic personality disorder appears in most sufferers at around the age of 18, they do also believe that the groundwork for these traits is laid in early childhood. Early childhood experiences are known to have huge influences on our personalities and the types of people we go on to become in later life.

As toddlers, our developmental stage is crucial and when children grow up with a lack of supervision, rules and guidance, they tend to believe that they are completely alone and in charge. When children between the ages of 2-4 experience this feeling, the brain becomes convinced that they are the center of the world and don’t need to take other people into consideration. Indeed, here their sense of self falls into overdrive, which leads to disastrous consequences afterwards.

>>> Read; Can a narcissist love you?

Parents are responsible for instilling an unjustified winner’s attitude

As parents, we’re probably all guilty of telling our children how smart and amazing they are. After all, we’d probably do anything to see them smile, to the point when they finish last in a race, we constantly rack our brains to come up with reasons as to why in fact they are the true winners. On the surface, trying to build our children’s confidence doesn’t exactly sound problematic, but when it’s taken to the extreme, it can be completely detrimental to their development and can lead to a superiority complex. Instilling in children that they are fabulous doesn’t teach them to recognize their errors and can even give them God-like complexes, turning them into the perfect narcissists.

Narcissism originates from a lack of boundaries

Let’s focus on childhood again because it is one of the most important stages of our lives in terms of character development and formation. When little to no boundaries are imposed upon us, we tend to think we are the boss and can do what we want, without having to face any sort of consequences. Boundaries are essential for learning the respect necessary to build healthy relationships in the future and are much harder to learn as an adult.

Children imitate their parents’ behavior

Studies have shown that narcissistic parents often go on to have narcissistic children too. Indeed, parents with this profile lack the empathy necessary to nourish their children and give them the love and guidance they need to grow into respectable members of society. The sad part is that they often see their kids more as a possession or a convenience than anything else, which creates an environment propitious to toxicity.

Editor’s opinion - No one is born bad

We hear a lot of outlandish theories related to people we regard as evil; be it serial killers or narcissists, however, the conclusion is always the same; these people were forced to become this way. If we look at ‘evil people’s’ pasts, we often notice a common trend of neglect, mistreatment and often bullying, which they go on to replicate as adults, after all, we often repeat what we experience and this makes for a vicious circle in most cases. As babies, we are pure and all have good souls, yet as we mature, the traumas we are subjected to often change us and skew our personalities into becoming dangerous and harmful when it comes to mental health.

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