Are Narcissists Lonely? — Yes, But They’ll Never Admit It

Last updated by Katie M.

Loneliness is one of society’s biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population. Now, lots of us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and strong-willed to feel lonely, however, the truth is they are often the biggest victims of this phenomenon, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner malaise.

Are Narcissists Lonely? — Yes, But They’ll Never Admit It

Spending time alone is arguably healthy and beneficial for our mental health, but, regularly feeling lonely, on the other hand, can be very detrimental to our social and communication skills. When it comes to narcissists, they have a reputation for feeling superior, which means that they will do anything they deem necessary in order for people to admire them and never openly talk about their alleged ‘weaknesses’. Plus, they believe that being open about their feelings and admitting to feeling alone and misunderstood, will make them appear weak, which is why they often choose to flee their emotions. For them, remaining in the dark about what they feel this a way of saving face, although, in reality, they are crying out to be loved and to build connections, yet too proud and afraid to recognize their needs.

>>> Read; Can you have a healthy relationship with a narcissist?

4 Reasons why narcissists feel so lonely and isolated 😥

Harsh but true...

1) They are unable to connect with people

These folks arguably lack empathy, which means they have no time for heartfelt discussions, and even less time for genuine connections. They fail to see why having friends and being able to confide in people are important. Making friends doesn't feature in their priority list, which means they never really take the time needed to connect with people. In fact, they prefer surface level relationships and don't ever really understand the use of friendships.

2) Their personalities intimidate people

Whilst people with narcissistic personality disorders can be charming at points, their bullish and manipulative behavior always shine through eventually. That’s right, the prospect of becoming friends with someone so devious understandably scares people. These people have no regard for other folks' feelings, which means they often come across as mean and heartless, which, by the way, isn't too far from the truth.

3) They have their walls up

Letting people in is definitely a narcissist’s worst nightmare! It’s just not in their nature to make themselves appear vulnerable and let people into their lives. For them, opening up to someone is a synonym of them relinquishing their power and losing the upper hand. Breaking down their walls is tough, simply because they are so afraid of being judged and mocked for showing people their real feelings and emotions.

4) They are scared to put themselves out there

Despite the facade they hide behind, narcissists are very insecure people and are constantly scared of judgement. Their fear of being judged prevents them from creating a solid support base around them, and paradoxically encourages them to become more devious. In short, being too scared to open up means they develop horrible habits when it comes to friendships, and inevitably just become hermits.

📍 - FAQ time - 📍

Do narcissists end up alone?

Narcissists frequently end up alone due to the simple fact that they are incapable of enjoying healthy relationships. Although the most high-functioning ones may be able to fool someone into sticking around for a set amount of time. However, generally, their devious ways, lack of empathy, and immeasurable egos prevent them from ever finding true love. Plus, they are totally against the idea of changing and working on themselves, which evidently scares potential suitors away. After all, no one wants to be the only partner making concessions and sacrifices in a relationship. Now, although they’ll never admit it, ending up alone does in fact terrify these folks, however, the prospect isn’t intimidating enough for them to want to become better people…

What do narcissists do when they’re alone?

When a narcissist finds themselves alone in their life, they may feel an emotional void or a sense of loneliness, but this depends on the person and their level of self-awareness. Some people with narcissistic personality disorder may have difficulty coping with loneliness, as they need the attention and validation of others to feel important and valued.

However, other people with narcissistic personality disorder may prefer to be alone rather than in the company of people they consider inferior or uninteresting. These people may have interests or passions that keep them busy and give them a sense of satisfaction or achievement. In some cases, loneliness can actually reinforce narcissistic behavior in a person with narcissistic personality disorder. They may be tempted to put themselves forward or boast more to attract the attention of others, even when they're not in their presence. How a person with this personality reacts to loneliness depends on many factors, such as the severity of their disorder, their level of self-awareness, and their other personality traits.

Is being with a narcissist lonely?

In short, yes. Being in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser is one of the loneliest experiences anyone can go through. These manipulators have a real talent when it comes to isolating their victims and cutting them off from their friends and families. Here, they will spread lies about their partners and do anything they can to sever the communication between them. Nothing is out of bounds for a narcissistic abuser, which means they will go to absolutely to dig their claws in. Victims of these evil people almost always feel cut off from everyone and everything, which explains why they become so dependent on their abusers. Breaking the cycle of abuse is a very difficult thing to overcome, and feeling cut off makes people feel even more vulnerable and lost. The only real way to escape the cycle is by contacting a therapist and following a specialized program. 

Editor’s opinion - Expressing their feelings is impossible for them

We all have certain struggles when it comes to talking about how we feel, but a narcissist’s inability to express what they are going through is definitely more penalizing for them than for anyone else. These personalities are lonely, yet their innate traits prevent them for breaking the cycle of loneliness, and also dissuades others from attempting to pull them out of their misery.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check these articles out too:

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Be glad if your narcissist discards you. My sister and equally narcissistic husband spent years manipulating and using me until I finally stood up for myself and of course they immediately raged and discarded me. I had always been expected to provide them free childcare, the constant use of my car with no charge for gas, I was expected to help them clean their apartment when they moved out and prepare their new house, loan them huge quantities of money they never paid back, and do other favors for them. In return, her husband screamed at me that I was "not as mature as other people", "wasn't grateful enough to them", and then demanded to drive my car some more. They are both entitled narcissists who have taken all of my father's retirement assets and spent them on themselves and their grown children's college educations, cars, extracurricular sports, trips around the world, shopping, and parties in Vegas. Their grown children have still never held jobs and now my father is broke and in need of long term health care. These greedy, selfish people disgust me.

Nora 

Read our latest articles here:

Survivorship Bias

“Wow, if he/she was able to succeed, I can too”. That’s how we embark on years and years of trying to do something and failing. It’s called being a victim of survivorship bias, and it happened to me for a long time. But what is it? Why can survivorship bias contribute to a sense of failure about our lives? It’s important to learn to think about those who have failed, so as not to be deluded. Let’s explain.

"My Ex Was Crazy" If A Guy Says This… Run!

I am probably the crazy ex. At least, I'm pretty sure some of my exes present me that way to their new girlfriends. Except that description shouldn’t be overlooked because it reveals a lot about a man’s behavior and could be seen as a red flag. What's behind it when a man talks about his ex, who was an alleged total nut job? Here’s why you ought to run as fast as you can if you’re currently dating a guy who deems his ex as crazy.

Do Narcissists Enjoy Kissing?

Kissing is a deeply intimate act, and although in popular culture it is often classed as only being worthy of first base, it does in fact go way beyond that toxic evaluation. We’ve no doubt all had at least one lingering kiss that we’ll never forget; one which left all of our senses tingling and hungry for more. Well, that memorable smooch left us reminiscing because it was sincere and meant something. In short, it encapsulated love and romance, which are two things that narcissists are quite simply incapable of feeling.

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

8 Dangerous Mind Games That All Narcissists Play

People with narcissistic personality disorders love playing games because it reinforces their sense of control and validates their need to pull the strings. Now, the idea of playing games may seem fairly harmless and innocent, but the truth could be further away from the reality when these manipulative personalities are involved. Indeed, narcissists are always one step ahead of the rest of us, which makes it difficult to recognize when they are toying with people. So, to open your eyes to what they are truly capable of, discover the lengths they’ll go to, to remain on top.

How Do You Know A Narcissist Is Cheating?

Narcissism is wholly incompatible with healthy relationships, which goes some way in explaining why people with this personality disorder always believe the grass is greener elsewhere. Indeed, fidelity isn’t something they excel in and adds to their exhaustive list of weaknesses alongside their love of manipulation and dishonesty. However, they are so cunning and crafty that catching them out and confirming your intuitions is no easy feat. To make things easier for you, here are the 10 signs you need to look out for if you believe your narcissistic man is cheating on you.

What Is The Tinkerbell Syndrome In Psychology?

Brilliant, ambitious, perfectionist... These words correspond to some people, especially women, who suffer from “Tinkerbell” syndrome. But as in all fairy tales, there’s a dark side... Just like Peter Pan’s fairy, they try to impress and are perpetually unfulfilled, compulsively seductive, and even manipulative. Psychotherapist Sylvie Tenenbaum coined this term after noticing that some people were obsessed with appearances and success. Let’s explain.

What Are The 10 Most Unusual Phobias?

From a fear of flying, crowds or enclosed spaces, the list of phobias of all sorts of things is quite long and fairly surprising. If some of them are quite well-known and common likes those aforementioned, others can seem very strange and barely even credible. Are you ready to get your heartbeat racing? Here, we take a look at some of the most unusual things that people are afraid of and trust us; although they may not seem it, they are all completely real!

Female Covert Narcissists

It’s time to set the record straight, although male narcissists typically get a lot of flack, yet, female covert narcissists are just, if not even more dangerous than the guys. These women are the definition of devious and know how to wrap people around their little fingers without anyone ever really catching on to their behavior and conniving ways. They are a force to be reckoned with and certainly never back down from the challenge of breaking someone’s soul.

What Is Candaulism?

Now, many of you are no doubt scratching your head wondering what candaulism means, but some of you must already know by now, and that would explain the recent spike in Google searches for the term. Candaulism is in fact a sexual practice in which a man exposes his female partner or photos of her, to other consenting people. This particular fantasy is therefore associated with exhibitionism. Although that’s not all, the term can also apply to a male partner watching his girlfriend or wife making love to someone else. So, let’s take a peep (get it?) at this practice.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:15
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:19
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack