Are Narcissists Lonely? — Yes, But They’ll Never Admit It

Last updated by Katie M.

Loneliness is one of society’s biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population. Now, lots of us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and strong-willed to feel lonely, however, the truth is they are often the biggest victims of this phenomenon, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner malaise.

Are Narcissists Lonely? — Yes, But They’ll Never Admit It

Spending time alone is arguably healthy and beneficial for our mental health, but, regularly feeling lonely, on the other hand, can be very detrimental to our social and communication skills. When it comes to narcissists, they have a reputation for feeling superior, which means that they will do anything they deem necessary in order for people to admire them and never openly talk about their alleged ‘weaknesses’. Plus, they believe that being open about their feelings and admitting to feeling alone and misunderstood, will make them appear weak, which is why they often choose to flee their emotions. For them, remaining in the dark about what they feel this a way of saving face, although, in reality, they are crying out to be loved and to build connections, yet too proud and afraid to recognize their needs.

>>> Read; Can you have a healthy relationship with a narcissist?

4 Reasons why narcissists are lonely

Harsh but true...

1) They are unable to connect with people

These folks arguably lack empathy, which means they have no time for heartfelt discussions, and even less time for genuine connections. They fail to see why having friends and being able to confide in people are important.

2) Their personalities intimidate people

Whilst people with narcissistic personality disorders can be charming at points, their bullish and manipulative behavior always shine through eventually. That’s right, the prospect of becoming friends with someone so devious understandably scares people.

3) They have their walls up

Letting people in is definitely a narcissist’s worst nightmare! It’s just not in their nature to make themselves appear vulnerable and let people into their lives. For them, opening up to someone is a synonym of them relinquishing their power and losing the upper hand.

4) They are scared to put themselves out there

Despite the facade they hide behind, narcissists are very insecure people and are constantly scared of judgement. Their fear of being judged prevents them from creating a solid support base around them, and paradoxically encourages them to become more devious.

Do narcissists end up alone?

Narcissists frequently end up alone due to the simple fact that they are incapable of enjoying healthy relationships. Although the most high-functioning ones may be able to fool someone into sticking around for a set amount of time. However, generally, their devious ways, lack of empathy, and immeasurable egos prevent them from ever finding true love. Plus, they are totally against the idea of changing and working on themselves, which evidently scares potential suitors away. After all, no one wants to be the only partner making concessions and sacrifices in a relationship. Now, although they’ll never admit it, ending up alone does in fact terrify these folks, however, the prospect isn’t intimidating enough for them to want to become better people…

Do narcissists isolate themselves?

A narcissist isolates themselves (at home for example without seeing anyone) WHEN they are too overwhelmed; especially in the instance when he has gone hunting for new prey, and has received many narcissistic sources. When their search for new victims has been successful, they are obliged to withdraw themselves from the situation because otherwise they will implode. Although narcissists do well for a certain amount of time during their isolation, they’ll soon take up their narcissistic ways again. In fact, their isolation will not exceed 1 week max, because they cannot fight off temptation to manipulation any longer.

Does the narcissist ever get sad?

As much as they may like to hide and conceal their emotions, narcissists are just like anyone else when it comes to their feelings, meaning they do get sad at points. However, that being said, they’ll never openly admit to feeling down or upset, because they are simply scared of people judging them and looking upon them as weak. Plus, these personalities never really talk about their feelings either, or share with those close to them when they are feeling down. In fact, their behavior gives away when they are sad, because they instantly become very vindictive and even more relentless in their actions.

Can a narcissist be likeable?

At the beginning, narcissists can come across as very friendly, attractive and fun to be around. However, this is just a technique for them to seduce their prey and destroy them little by little. Most narcissists are unaware of their problem and are convinced that they are acting for the good of others (a minority is sadistic and takes pleasure in making others suffer). The manipulations of these people can be distinguished from emotional blackmail, small lies or guilt-tripping of others, which make everyone more or less manipulative. The signs are similar and usually appear in early adulthood. 

Here are 5 signs of a narcissist and how they behave:

  • an excessive need to be adulated
  • a strong tendency to megalomania
  • egocentricity
  • a low degree of empathy towards others
  • an excessive quest for recognition.

Editor’s opinion - Expressing their feelings is impossible for them

We all have certain struggles when it comes to talking about how we feel, but a narcissist’s inability to express what they are going through is definitely more penalizing for them than for anyone else. These personalities are lonely, yet their innate traits prevent them for breaking the cycle of loneliness, and also dissuades others from attempting to pull them out of their misery.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

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Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Be glad if your narcissist discards you. My sister and equally narcissistic husband spent years manipulating and using me until I finally stood up for myself and of course they immediately raged and discarded me. I had always been expected to provide them free childcare, the constant use of my car with no charge for gas, I was expected to help them clean their apartment when they moved out and prepare their new house, loan them huge quantities of money they never paid back, and do other favors for them. In return, her husband screamed at me that I was "not as mature as other people", "wasn't grateful enough to them", and then demanded to drive my car some more. They are both entitled narcissists who have taken all of my father's retirement assets and spent them on themselves and their grown children's college educations, cars, extracurricular sports, trips around the world, shopping, and parties in Vegas. Their grown children have still never held jobs and now my father is broke and in need of long term health care. These greedy, selfish people disgust me.

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Can A Narcissist Be Faithful?

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Help, Why Do I Attract Narcissists?

After a succession of dating disasters, I decided that it was time I took a step back to analyze the root of my consistent heartbreak. Being on the dating scene is tough, and meeting new people just isn’t as easy as they make it out to be. Although, that being said, meeting toxic monsters seems to be a lot less complicated, well at least for me, it seems that way, that’s right, I have a real talent for it. So, after deleting all of my apps and going on a dating hiatus for several months, I finally understand why I attract people with narcissistic personality disorders, who do nothing but break me down and subject me to narcissistic abuse.

Can You Have A Healthy Relationship With A Narcissist?

I’ve always been very open with my dating history, so if you’ve read some of my other articles, you’ll probably already know that, none of my relationships have ever fulfilled me, or even made me feel good about myself. In fact, since dating my most recent partner, who was by the way a raging narcissist, I’ve decided that I need to take a break from love, and instead, spend more time on finding myself. How did I get to this point? Well, when I was with my ex, no matter how hard I tried, our love disintegrated, well at least for me, it did. I can now firmly say that all the tears, arguments, and pain have taught me that loving someone with narcissistic tendencies will only ever end in disaster, and I’m about to share why.

Is My Coworker A Narcissist?

Now, I don’t want to make you paranoid, but the truth is that narcissists are everywhere, and that’s why it’s so important to be able to spot them and their devious ways. So, with that in mind, why wouldn't there be a narcissist lurking in the office? Has that given you food for thought, and suddenly got your mind racing? Who is your number one suspect? Is it Jon; the guy who constantly hogs the photocopier, or perhaps even Emma; the backstabbing human resources manager? In any case, knowing how to identify these personalities is essential, so discover the 10 deplorable behavioral signs you need to look out for. You’ll never look at your coworkers in the same way again!

What Does Narcissistic Abuse Feel Like?

Narcissistic abuse is truly one of the most crushing and soul-destroying trials anyone can go through. When we are subjected to such intense emotional manipulation at the hands of someone we believe cares for us, our mental health certainly takes a hit, and we can even lose our sense of reality and end up thinking that we are the problem. Abusive relationships come in all forms; whether they are romantic, friendship based or occur in a professional setting, they are all equally damaging and agonizing. As someone who has experienced this type of abuse first-hand with my ex-boyfriend, I want to share with you what it feels like.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
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  2. Let It BE - Beatles Awaken2Now (See Thru Oppositional 2’s)
    3:54
  3. Fix YouColdplay
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  4. Beautiful DayU2
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  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
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  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
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  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
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  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:19
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


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