Spending time alone is arguably healthy and beneficial for our mental health, but, regularly feeling lonely, on the other hand, can be very detrimental to our social and communication skills. When it comes to narcissists, they have a reputation for feeling superior, which means that they will do anything they deem necessary in order for people to admire them and never openly talk about their alleged ‘weaknesses’. Plus, they believe that being open about their feelings and admitting to feeling alone and misunderstood, will make them appear weak, which is why they often choose to flee their emotions 🥺. For them, remaining in the dark about what they feel is a way of saving face, although, in reality, they are crying out to be loved and to build connections, yet too proud and afraid to recognize their needs.
>>> Read; Can you have a healthy relationship with a narcissist?
4 Reasons why narcissists feel so lonely and isolated 😥
Harsh but true...
1) Narcissists are lonely because they are unable to connect with people
These folks arguably lack empathy, which means they have no time for heartfelt discussions, and even less time for genuine connections. They fail to see why having friends and being able to confide in people are important. Making friends doesn’t feature in their priority list, which means they never really take the time needed to connect with people. In fact, they prefer surface-level relationships and don’t ever really understand the use of friendships.
2) Their personalities intimidate people
Whilst people with narcissistic personality disorders can be charming at points, their bullish and manipulative behavior always shines through eventually. That’s right, the prospect of becoming friends with someone so devious understandably scares people. These people have no regard for other folks' feelings, which means they often come across as mean and heartless, which, by the way, isn’t too far from the truth.
3) They have their walls up
Letting people in is definitely a narcissist’s worst nightmare! It’s just not in their nature to make themselves appear vulnerable and let people into their lives. For them, opening up to someone is a synonym of them relinquishing their power and losing the upper hand. Breaking down their walls is tough, simply because they are so afraid of being judged and mocked for showing people their real feelings and emotions.
4) They are scared to put themselves out there
Despite the facade they hide behind, narcissists are very insecure people and are constantly scared of judgment. Their fear of being judged prevents them from creating a solid support base around them, and paradoxically encourages them to become more devious. In short, being too scared to open up means they develop horrible habits when it comes to friendships, and inevitably just become hermits.
What happens when a Narcissist is alone for too long?
Narcissists respond to loneliness differently depending on their level of self-awareness and personality traits. Here are two possible outcomes:
- Emotionally Void: Many narcissists struggle with loneliness because they rely on external validation to feel important. Without an audience, they may experience emptiness and anxiety.
- Reinforcement of Narcissistic Behaviors: Conversely, some narcissists retreat into their egos, doubling down on self-centered behaviors. They might isolate themselves intentionally, avoiding relationships while focusing on self-serving activities, such as flaunting achievements or seeking superficial attention online.
Ultimately, how a narcissist copes with loneliness varies, but the underlying theme is a lack of meaningful connection that exacerbates their struggles.
Is being with a narcissist a lonely experience? 💔
In short, yes. Being in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser is one of the loneliest experiences anyone can go through. These manipulators have a real talent when it comes to isolating their victims and cutting them off from their friends and families. Here, they will spread lies about their partners and do anything they can to sever the communication between them. Nothing is out of bounds for a narcissistic abuser, which means they will go to absolutely any lengths to dig their claws in. Victims of these evil people almost always feel cut off from everyone and everything, which explains why they become so dependent on their abusers. Breaking the cycle of abuse is a very difficult thing to overcome, and feeling cut off makes people feel even more vulnerable and lost. The only real way to escape the cycle is by contacting a therapist and following a specialized program.
Breaking the cycle of Narcissistic loneliness
Overcoming loneliness as a narcissist—or while in a relationship with one—requires intentional efforts. Here are a few key strategies:
- Practice Vulnerability: Narcissists must learn to express their emotions without fear of judgment, allowing others to understand their true selves.
- Seek Professional Help: Therapy can help narcissists uncover the roots of their fears and develop healthier social strategies.
- Build Empathy: Focus on understanding others' emotions and perspectives, fostering connections based on mutual respect.
For those dealing with a narcissist: Set clear boundaries and encourage open communication. Empathy toward their struggles can make a significant difference, without compromising your own well-being.
Editor’s opinion - Expressing their feelings is impossible for themWe all have certain struggles when it comes to talking about how we feel, but a narcissist’s inability to express what they are going through is definitely more penalizing for them than for anyone else. These personalities are lonely, yet their innate traits prevent them from breaking the cycle of loneliness, and also dissuades others from attempting to pull them out of their misery.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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Be glad if your narcissist discards you. My sister and equally narcissistic husband spent years manipulating and using me until I finally stood up for myself and of course they immediately raged and discarded me. I had always been expected to provide them free childcare, the constant use of my car with no charge for gas, I was expected to help them clean their apartment when they moved out and prepare their new house, loan them huge quantities of money they never paid back, and do other favors for them. In return, her husband screamed at me that I was "not as mature as other people", "wasn't grateful enough to them", and then demanded to drive my car some more. They are both entitled narcissists who have taken all of my father's retirement assets and spent them on themselves and their grown children's college educations, cars, extracurricular sports, trips around the world, shopping, and parties in Vegas. Their grown children have still never held jobs and now my father is broke and in need of long term health care. These greedy, selfish people disgust me.
Nora, 2 years ago