Are Narcissists Lonely? — Yes, Here Are 4 Reasons Why They Are Isolated

Last updated by Katie M.

Loneliness is one of society’s biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population 😔. Now, lots of us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and strong-willed to feel alone, however, the truth is they are often the biggest victims of loneliness, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner malaise.

Are Narcissists Lonely? — Yes, Here Are 4 Reasons Why They Are Isolated

Spending time alone is arguably healthy and beneficial for our mental health, but, regularly feeling lonely, on the other hand, can be very detrimental to our social and communication skills. When it comes to narcissists, they have a reputation for feeling superior, which means that they will do anything they deem necessary in order for people to admire them and never openly talk about their alleged ‘weaknesses’. Plus, they believe that being open about their feelings and admitting to feeling alone and misunderstood, will make them appear weak, which is why they often choose to flee their emotions 🥺. For them, remaining in the dark about what they feel this a way of saving face, although, in reality, they are crying out to be loved and to build connections, yet too proud and afraid to recognize their needs.

>>> Read; Can you have a healthy relationship with a narcissist?

4 Reasons why narcissists feel so lonely and isolated 😥

Harsh but true...

1) Narcissists are lonely because they are unable to connect with people

These folks arguably lack empathy, which means they have no time for heartfelt discussions, and even less time for genuine connections. They fail to see why having friends and being able to confide in people are important. Making friends doesn't feature in their priority list, which means they never really take the time needed to connect with people. In fact, they prefer surface level relationships and don't ever really understand the use of friendships.

2) Their personalities intimidate people

Whilst people with narcissistic personality disorders can be charming at points, their bullish and manipulative behavior always shine through eventually. That’s right, the prospect of becoming friends with someone so devious understandably scares people. These people have no regard for other folks' feelings, which means they often come across as mean and heartless, which, by the way, isn't too far from the truth.

3) They have their walls up

Letting people in is definitely a narcissist’s worst nightmare! It’s just not in their nature to make themselves appear vulnerable and let people into their lives. For them, opening up to someone is a synonym of them relinquishing their power and losing the upper hand. Breaking down their walls is tough, simply because they are so afraid of being judged and mocked for showing people their real feelings and emotions.

4) They are scared to put themselves out there

Despite the facade they hide behind, narcissists are very insecure people and are constantly scared of judgement. Their fear of being judged prevents them from creating a solid support base around them, and paradoxically encourages them to become more devious. In short, being too scared to open up means they develop horrible habits when it comes to friendships, and inevitably just become hermits.

💡FAQ 💡 Do narcissists end up alone?

Narcissists frequently end up alone due to the simple fact that they are incapable of enjoying healthy relationships. Although the most high-functioning ones may be able to fool someone into sticking around for a set amount of time. However, generally, their devious ways, lack of empathy, and immeasurable egos prevent them from ever finding true love. Plus, they are totally against the idea of changing and working on themselves, which evidently scares potential suitors away. After all, no one wants to be the only partner making concessions and sacrifices in a relationship. Now, although they’ll never admit it, ending up alone does in fact terrify these folks, however, the prospect isn’t intimidating enough for them to want to become better people

What do narcissists do when they’re alone?

When a narcissist finds themselves alone in their life, they may feel an emotional void or a sense of loneliness, but this depends on the person and their level of self-awareness. Some people with narcissistic personality disorder may have difficulty coping with loneliness, as they need the attention and validation of others to feel important and valued.

However, other people with narcissistic personality disorder may prefer to be alone rather than in the company of people they consider inferior or uninteresting. These people may have interests or passions that keep them busy and give them a sense of satisfaction or achievement. In some cases, loneliness can actually reinforce narcissistic behavior in a person with narcissistic personality disorder. They may be tempted to put themselves forward or boast more to attract the attention of others, even when they're not in their presence. How a person with this personality reacts to loneliness depends on many factors, such as the severity of their disorder, their level of self-awareness, and their other personality traits.

💡Practical tip time💡 How to help people deal with loneliness;

💡 Practical tip time 💡 How to help people deal with loneliness;

While moments of solitude can be beneficial, prolonged isolation can become a real problem and be extremely painful. When someone's loneliness overwhelms them, and they call out to you for help, here are some practical tips you can use to reach out to them. 

  • Identify the source of loneliness -
    For your support to be effective, you first need to understand the reasons for the loneliness. Is it a choice, or the result of circumstances beyond the control of the person experiencing it? Is the person isolated from loved ones? Or is their solitude linked to a separation or bereavement? What are their social networks and the contacts they have established with them? It's important to be able to engage in dialogue with the person concerned. Simply asking someone if they are having suicidal thoughts can save their lives. If you're worried that someone might be in this situation, don't hesitate to ask them openly. Now, it's all about the art and manner of starting the conversation. To do this, it's important to gain the person's trust, and to do so tactfully and privately.

  • Supporting and listening -
    Simply being there for the person who's feeling lonely already brings comfort. It's important to avoid rushing her by imposing your help. On the other hand, you can let them know that you're willing to give them your attention. And don't fail to offer a sympathetic ear to her distress when the opportunity arises. There are also times when a person can be irritable, even when you're reaching out to them. So it's important to be prepared for this, so that you can show patience and understanding, and offer your support in spite of it all.

  • Helping people out of isolation -
    As you can see, when a person is isolated, their physical and mental health can be threatened. So it's important to help them break out of their isolation. Once again, a gentle approach that encourages the person concerned to cooperate is preferable to a harsh remark. Instead of telling her that she needs to see other people, why not organize a group activity around one of her interests? A game of cards, a pajama party or a cooking workshop, for example? The more sporty and nature-loving will appreciate a hike or a camping trip in the forest. You can also keep it simple and organize a lunch or a movie outing. If isolation is the problem, these quality moments with friends will help the sufferer get over it. However, if the problem runs deeper, professional help is needed.

Is being with a narcissist a lonely experience? 💔

In short, yes. Being in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser is one of the loneliest experiences anyone can go through. These manipulators have a real talent when it comes to isolating their victims and cutting them off from their friends and families. Here, they will spread lies about their partners and do anything they can to sever the communication between them. Nothing is out of bounds for a narcissistic abuser, which means they will go to absolutely to dig their claws in. Victims of these evil people almost always feel cut off from everyone and everything, which explains why they become so dependent on their abusers. Breaking the cycle of abuse is a very difficult thing to overcome, and feeling cut off makes people feel even more vulnerable and lost. The only real way to escape the cycle is by contacting a therapist and following a specialized program. 

Editor’s opinion - Expressing their feelings is impossible for them

We all have certain struggles when it comes to talking about how we feel, but a narcissist’s inability to express what they are going through is definitely more penalizing for them than for anyone else. These personalities are lonely, yet their innate traits prevent them for breaking the cycle of loneliness, and also dissuades others from attempting to pull them out of their misery.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

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Article presented by Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

Be glad if your narcissist discards you. My sister and equally narcissistic husband spent years manipulating and using me until I finally stood up for myself and of course they immediately raged and discarded me. I had always been expected to provide them free childcare, the constant use of my car with no charge for gas, I was expected to help them clean their apartment when they moved out and prepare their new house, loan them huge quantities of money they never paid back, and do other favors for them. In return, her husband screamed at me that I was "not as mature as other people", "wasn't grateful enough to them", and then demanded to drive my car some more. They are both entitled narcissists who have taken all of my father's retirement assets and spent them on themselves and their grown children's college educations, cars, extracurricular sports, trips around the world, shopping, and parties in Vegas. Their grown children have still never held jobs and now my father is broke and in need of long term health care. These greedy, selfish people disgust me.

Nora a year ago

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