A stare may seem pretty insignificant, after all, we've all had an awkward experience taking the subway, for example, and noticing that a stranger's eyes were fixed on us for longer than a few seconds. Well, narcissists take this gaze to a whole different level and use it as a weapon to control their prey. They say that silence speaks a thousand words, but I actually think an insisting gaze does.
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5 Reasons why these abusers use the narcissistic stare 👀
Nothing can tear their eyes away...
1) They use the narcissistic stare because it's a form of love bombing
These expert manipulators will attempt to mask their truly menacing intentions behind doe-eyes and affectionate glances, but the truth is, they aren't fooling anyone. They typically turn to the love-bombing tactic early in a relationship, as a way of convincing their prey that they are the perfect partner. In reality, instead of trying to boost their partner's confidence, they are plotting ways to tear them down. Here, they'll shower their future girlfriend with endless compliments, gifts, and looks of lust on a daily basis. Yep, no form of PDA is over the top for these calculating creeps.
2) They use it to make victims feel threatened
Whilst narcissists like to pretend that they are upstanding citizens and amazing partners, the reality couldn't be any different. In fact, these folks are more like sulky petulant children than anything else, except they have a dangerous edge to their personalities, meaning they will do anything to get what they want. Now, in order to back their victims, who by the way will no doubt lack buckets of self-esteem, into a corner, they'll constantly observe them. No matter what their partners do, these abusers will have tabs on them, to the point where privacy becomes an alien-like concept. Plus, whenever their victim does anything that they consider to be out of line, they'll soon spring into action and put them into place.
3) It's a way for them to analyze your emotional state
Whilst these evil personalities arguably have way more flaws than qualities, we must recognize just how good their observation skills are. Indeed, they have a talent for picking up on things that slide under the radar for most of us, especially where character weaknesses are concerned. Just by observing someone for a matter of minutes, they'll have figured out exactly how to control them and dominate their life! This is terrifying, right?! Plus, they won't waste a second when it comes to plotting evil scenarios that will result in their partner being destroyed.
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4) They want to assert their control
Nothing a narcissist does is spontaneous and if they want to start a staring contest it's not just for fun, instead, it's to establish a sense of control. With their chilling stares and figuratively cutting looks, they'll want to demonstrate how domineering and strong they are. Plus, they'll use this seemingly innocent gesture as a means to suggest that they'll never back down from any challenge, meaning their partner should never rebel against them. After all, looks speak a thousand words.
5) Leering is a form of attention-seeking
Like I said beforehand, these monsters have an immature side to their personalities, meaning when they date someone, they want to monopolize all their attention, pretty much 24/7! Now, by throwing out void stares, they are looking to become the center of their partner's attention and will insist on looking at them until they get it. You've guessed right, they'll never back down or, in this context, look away.
💡 Practical tip time: 💡
Here's what to do when a narcissist stares at you
The best way to react to a narcissist staring at you, is to call them out! By taking them by surprise like this, they will be completely thrown off track and this will completely disturb them and their evil thoughts. However, here, you don’t need to be too confrontational, the key is just letting your potential abuser know that you are on to them and are aware of their behavior and intimidation techniques. The sooner you show the narcissist that you are not afraid, the better, because it will make them back down immediately.
>>> Read; What is the narcissistic relationship pattern?
Should you look a narcissist in the eye? 👁️👁️
Unfortunately, there is no right or wrong answer to this question, deciding whether you should look a narcissist in the eye basically depends on you and how you feel about it. Now, looking one of these manipulators in the eye is no easy feat, and many of these controlling personalities often regard eye contact as a provocation. Yes, that’s right, when you make eye contact with one of them, they take it almost like a threat, which can in certain cases encourage them to become even nastier to their victims. Essentially, they like to feel as if they are above everyone else and believe that they deserve respect, which comes from not being stared at. If you were to look into their eyes, here’s a little warning, don’t expect to feel much emotion, because they are pretty much void of any sort of feelings. If you are looking to escape your abuser, looking into their eyes might be one of the first steps to take.
Editor's opinion - Express your discomfort if you are faced with the narcissistic stare
Narcissist or not, just because someone tries to throw their weight around with you doesn't mean you have to accept everything they attempt to subject you to. Certain gestures make us feel uncomfortable (we don't need to explain why), yet when we feel on edge, we need to muster up the courage to speak out. Whether it be at work, on public transport, or in a bar, if someone is making you feel nervous and out of sorts, don't hesitate to communicate your malaise and thereby take control of the situation.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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