10 Signs You Are In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Last updated by Katie M.

Love is such an unpredictable journey that it gives the perfect cover for emotionally abusive partners to hide behind masks of perfect Mr. Darcy-like characters. Now, let's face it, no devious manipulator enters a relationship by showing their true colors. In the beginning, they make for caring and supportive partners, that is, until they've got you completely hooked. Once they believe you are sufficiently spellbound by them, they'll put their despicable plan of emotional abuse into play, and their victims won't suspect a thing before it's too late. Signs of emotional mistreatment aren't always easy to pick up on, however, these types of partners do have a common modus operandi.

10 Signs You Are In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

There are many types of abuse that are common in relationships, and each form is more humiliating and demeaning than the last. Yet, acknowledging and understanding that you are a victim is often easier said than done. Now, no one like to think ill of their husband or partner, but sometimes things are so toxic that it becomes impossible to turn the other cheek and look away. Toxic partners are so good at what they do, that they will have you believe you are the one with the issues in the relationship and will succeed in blame-shifting. The ease with which they manipulate, and spin lies makes the urgency to recognize abusive signs even more intense.

10 Signs of an emotionally abusive partner / husband

1) Insults and name-calling are frequent

Insults and curse words frequently roll off an abuser's tongue. Once they've identified things you are sensitive about, they'll take pleasure in pushing your buttons and making you feel bad about yourself. They'll insult your intelligence, they'll tell you that you are useless and that you'd be nothing without them. In short, these folks have a talent for quickly picking up on their victim's weak spots, plus they know how to exploit them in no time. They choose verbal abuse because it doesn't leave any physical traces, yet it is probably more dangerously impactive for your mental health than anything else.

2) They constantly yell at you

There are many forms of abuse, and yelling is no of the most frequently used. Although screaming may seem pretty innocuous, in reality, it is a very intimidating behavior that scares people and instantly puts them on edge. The truth is, yelling is a form of violence and although it might not cause any physical damage, it's an effective way for emotional abusers to make their victims feel small, childlike, and worthless. Besides, we all know that a one-way screaming match frequently leads to other violent outbursts and uncontrolled reactions.

3) Affection becomes a game

When it comes to romantic relationships, affection is a weapon of mass destruction. Sweet hugs and kisses can be used to express feelings for your partner, but also to punish them. By essentially removing the warmth from a relationship, abusers punish their victims, who often lack confidence in themselves, and therefore, rely on reassuring gestures. Going completely cold turkey on the attentiveness side of things is a way of establishing power and control over someone who has genuine feelings for you.

4) You feel manipulated

If you've ever been in a toxic relationship, you'll no doubt understand the magnitude of manipulation as well as the dangers of it, too. In an emotionally abusive relationship, the perpetrator will do anything they deem necessary to isolate their victim from their friends and family, even to the point of making up lies about them wanting to interfere with their love story. They'll completely distort the truth in an attempt to increase the deathly grip they have on their partner, a.k.a. their victim.

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5) They belittle your feelings

Whatever happens, your feelings never count because they are simply insignificant. Whether you are mourning the loss of a family member or feeling down because of setbacks in your professional life, your partner will no doubt claim that you repeatedly blow your feelings out of proportion. By ridiculizing your emotions and failing to recognize the troubles you face, your partner forces you to question your reactions in a pathetic attempt to shame you. In short, with him, emotional support is totally nonexistent.

6) They publically embarrass you

Real abusive partners won't just stop at being vile towards you behind closed doors, no, they'll take things one step further and crank up the toxicity by putting you down in public. They'll belittle your achievements, make you seem crazy, and pick fights with you in the company of other people too. After all, they are showmen and relish in the idea of attracting unfavorable opinions onto you. The more they believe they can catch you off-guard and provoke a bad reaction from you, the more excited they become.

7) They insult your appearance

They'll throw comments around about you putting on weight, or no longer being attractive on a regular basis. Unfortunately, the more image-conscious they succeed in making you, the more power and control they'll reign over you. The twisted truth is, they get a thrill when they spend time making people they perceive as weaker than themselves, feel even worse.

8) They pretend things are 'jokes'

After all but crushing the little self-confidence you had, by telling you how stupid, fat, and ugly you look, a manipulative partner will extend his abusive behavior by claiming it was all a joke. After all, the world's best comedians only got to where they are today by telling abusive jokes, right? Well, no, the answer is; WRONG!

9) They isolate you

Now, an emotionally abusive partner will have no respect or regard for you, however, just like petulant kids, they will refuse to share you with anyone else, what's theirs is theirs. This explains why they will do their utmost to convince you that your entourage is toxic for you. When your partner repeatedly tells you that your friends and family are jealous of your relationship and that you shouldn't trust them, they are planting seeds of doubt with regard to them in your mind.

10) They make threats

Whenever an abusive partner feels like you are onto them, or that you are becoming too rebellious or independent for their liking, they'll make threats to get you back in line. They'll even go as far as threatening to make you look like the toxic bad guy in the story. Plus, they know exactly how to exploit your fears, meaning they could even insinuate and allude to physical abuse.

💡FAQ💡 How do victims of emotional abuse behave?

Victims of emotional abuse may display a wide range of behaviors in response to their traumatic situation. Here are some examples of behaviors that victims of emotional abuse may display:

  • 1) Social isolation: Victims may withdraw from their usual social circle, feeling isolated or ashamed of their situation.
  • 2) Anxiety and nervousness: They may show signs of chronic anxiety, nervousness or stress due to the constant manipulation and uncertainty in their relationship.
  • 3) Low self-esteem: Victims may develop low self-esteem and a negative self-image due to constant criticism and denigration by their manipulative partner.
  • 4) Denial and minimization: They may minimize or deny the emotional abuse, rationalizing or justifying their partner's behavior to maintain the illusion of a normal relationship.
  • 5) Depression: Victims may feel a deep sense of sadness, hopelessness or depression due to the destructive impact of emotional abuse on their emotional and mental well-being.

Editor's note - You are NOT to blame

The scary reality is that anyone can fall victim to this unacceptable behavior, despite their relationship history, age, or gender, for example. For any self-respecting vindictive partner, anyone is fair game and no personality type intimidates them enough to warn them off. With this in mind, victims should realize that nothing is their fault, despite what they have repeatedly been told.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!


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