Am I In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship? - 10 Signs You Are

Last updated by Katie M.

Love is such an unpredictable journey that it gives the perfect cover for emotionally abusive partners to hide behind masks of perfect Mr. Darcy-like characters. Now, let's face it, no devious manipulator enters a relationship by showing their true colors. In the beginning, they make for caring and supportive partners, that is, until they've got you completely hooked. Once they believe you are sufficiently spellbound by them, they'll put their despicable plan of emotional abuse into play, and their victims won't suspect a thing before it's too late. Signs of emotional mistreatment aren't always easy to pick up on, however, these types of partners do have a common modus operandi.

Am I In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship? - 10 Signs You Are
Contents: 

There are many types of abuse that are common in relationships, and each form is more humiliating and demeaning than the last. Yet, acknowledging and understanding that you are a victim is often easier said than done. Now, no one like to think ill of their husband or partner, but sometimes things are so toxic that it becomes impossible to turn the other cheek and look away. Toxic partners are so good at what they do, that they will have you believe you are the one with the issues in the relationship and will succeed in blame-shifting. The ease with which they manipulate, and spin lies makes the urgency to recognize abusive signs even more intense.

10 Signs of an emotionally abusive partner / husband

1) Insults and name-calling are frequent

Insults and curse words frequently roll off an abuser's tongue. Once they've identified things you are sensitive about, they'll take pleasure in pushing your buttons and making you feel bad about yourself. They'll insult your intelligence, they'll tell you that you are useless and that you'd be nothing without them. In short, these folks have a talent for quickly picking up on their victim's weak spots, plus they know how to exploit them in no time. They choose verbal abuse because it doesn't leave any physical traces, yet it is probably more dangerously impactive for your mental health than anything else.

2) They constantly yell at you

There are many forms of abuse, and yelling is no of the most frequently used. Although screaming may seem pretty innocuous, in reality, it is a very intimidating behavior that scares people and instantly puts them on edge. The truth is, yelling is a form of violence and although it might not cause any physical damage, it's an effective way for emotional abusers to make their victims feel small, childlike, and worthless. Besides, we all know that a one-way screaming match frequently leads to other violent outbursts and uncontrolled reactions.

3) Affection becomes a game

When it comes to romantic relationships, affection is a weapon of mass destruction. Sweet hugs and kisses can be used to express feelings for your partner, but also to punish them. By essentially removing the warmth from a relationship, abusers punish their victims, who often lack confidence in themselves, and therefore, rely on reassuring gestures. Going completely cold turkey on the attentiveness side of things is a way of establishing power and control over someone who has genuine feelings for you.

4) You feel manipulated

If you've ever been in a toxic relationship, you'll no doubt understand the magnitude of manipulation as well as the dangers of it, too. In an emotionally abusive relationship, the perpetrator will do anything they deem necessary to isolate their victim from their friends and family, even to the point of making up lies about them wanting to interfere with their love story. They'll completely distort the truth in an attempt to increase the deathly grip they have on their partner, a.k.a. their victim.

>>> Discover what imposer syndrome is.

5) They belittle your feelings

Whatever happens, your feelings never count because they are simply insignificant. Whether you are mourning the loss of a family member or feeling down because of setbacks in your professional life, your partner will no doubt claim that you repeatedly blow your feelings out of proportion. By ridiculizing your emotions and failing to recognize the troubles you face, your partner forces you to question your reactions in a pathetic attempt to shame you. In short, with him, emotional support is totally nonexistent.

6) They publically embarrass you

Real abusive partners won't just stop at being vile towards you behind closed doors, no, they'll take things one step further and crank up the toxicity by putting you down in public. They'll belittle your achievements, make you seem crazy, and pick fights with you in the company of other people too. After all, they are showmen and relish in the idea of attracting unfavorable opinions onto you. The more they believe they can catch you off-guard and provoke a bad reaction from you, the more excited they become.

7) They insult your appearance

They'll throw comments around about you putting on weight, or no longer being attractive on a regular basis. Unfortunately, the more image-conscious they succeed in making you, the more power and control they'll reign over you. The twisted truth is, they get a thrill when they spend time making people they perceive as weaker than themselves, feel even worse.

8) They pretend things are 'jokes'

After all but crushing the little self-confidence you had, by telling you how stupid, fat, and ugly you look, a manipulative partner will extend his abusive behavior by claiming it was all a joke. After all, the world's best comedians only got to where they are today by telling abusive jokes, right? Well, no, the answer is; WRONG!

9) They isolate you

Now, an emotionally abusive partner will have no respect or regard for you, however, just like petulant kids, they will refuse to share you with anyone else, what's theirs is theirs. This explains why they will do their utmost to convince you that your entourage is toxic for you. When your partner repeatedly tells you that your friends and family are jealous of your relationship and that you shouldn't trust them, they are planting seeds of doubt with regard to them in your mind.

10) They make threats

Whenever an abusive partner feels like you are onto them, or that you are becoming too rebellious or independent for their liking, they'll make threats to get you back in line. They'll even go as far as threatening to make you look like the toxic bad guy in the story. Plus, they know exactly how to exploit your fears, meaning they could even insinuate and allude to physical abuse.

Editor's note - You are NOT to blame

The scary reality is that anyone can fall victim to this unacceptable behavior, despite their relationship history, age, or gender, for example. For any self-respecting vindictive partner, anyone is fair game and no personality type intimidates them enough to warn them off. With this in mind, victims should realize that nothing is their fault, despite what they have repeatedly been told.


🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out these articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Our most popular 'relationship' articles:

Why Am I So Used To Falling Out Of Love At Record Speed?

My longest relationship only lasted 2 years, which might not seem like a long time, but it's a big achievement for me because I can never usually get past the 6-month mark without becoming bored stiff. Even though my past relationship have always been healthy, they've never satisfied me, which lead me to wonder am I cursed with eternal dissatisfaction? Relationships never seem to excite me for long enough and always eventually fizzle out, leaving me wanting to head for the hills. Despite my past failures, I still believe in love and want to get to the bottom of why I give up on romance so easily.

Do Narcissists Enjoy Kissing?

Kissing is a deeply intimate act, and although in popular culture it is often classed as only being worthy of first base, it does in fact go way beyond that toxic evaluation. We’ve no doubt all had at least one lingering kiss that we’ll never forget; one which left all of our senses tingling and hungry for more. Well, that memorable smooch left us reminiscing because it was sincere and meant something. In short, it encapsulated love and romance, which are two things that narcissists are quite simply incapable of feeling.

Am I Too Demanding Of My Partner And Too Tough On Him?

Excessive expectations, intense routines and warped images of relationships often make our love stories difficult to manage and maintain. A relationship is one of life’s greatest balancing acts and requires compromises to be made regularly. In short, one cannot be too demanding or severe with their partner if they want a smooth sailing union. Being so tough is a way of testing our partner's feelings for us, yet this can lead to extremely toxic behavior. Although, thanks to our tips, you'll know how to turn things around.

Can A Narcissist Be Faithful?

Narcissists often get bad press, and although many of us try to see the best in most people, in their case, it can be extremely difficult to find. The truth is, folks with this personality disorder don’t exactly have many redeeming qualities that could potentially help to excuse and explain their borderline evil behavior. Plus, when it comes to love, their lack of empathy means they have next to no loyalty, which means many of them often end up cheating on their partners. Ladies, if you are in a relationship with a narcissist, the alarm bells ought to be truly deafening.

What Is Love Bombing?

You may not be familiar with the term love bombing, but this bittersweet composition of words is certainly traumatizing enough to send a few shivers down your spine. This term does indeed refer to a cycle of narcissistic abuse which normally occurs at the beginning of a relationship. This intense period of abuse certainly paves the way for a truly unhealthy relationship, yet, many of us, (myself included) fail to recognize the red flags involved because our partners often seem so caring and implicated. So, without further ado, discover the indications your partner is using this devious manipulation tactic against you.

Open Relationships

Most of the time, when we think of a couple, we think of two people and only two people. This vision can be reassuring, even seductive for some, but for others, it’s far from being fulfilling. What if fidelity was no longer an obligation? What if the exclusive relationship was an outdated model and what if we moved on to an open relationship?

Infidelity

I’m lucky to have never experienced infidelity, but I know that if it happened to me, I’d be devastated. Cheating can destroy a relationship and lead to a break-up, however, you can also choose to save it. But being betrayed like this can affect our mental health and destroy us as well. Should you save your relationship at any cost after infidelity, or is it better to choose yourself?

Relationship essentials:

10 Reasons Why Your Ex Slept With Someone Else After Your Breakup

We are all unique individuals, and we, therefore, go about handling breakups and the other obstacles life throws our way, differently. Now, when it comes to breakups, there are those of us that almost become celibate and decide that they can't stand the idea of getting to know anyone ever again. Then, on the other hand, there are those that fill their phones with dating apps and jump from one one-night stand to the next. This second scenario may seem harmless, but once we dig a little deeper into the repercussions of it, we soon realize that sleeping with other people so freshly out of a relationship masks troubling sentiments of unhappiness and uneasiness.

What Is Codependency And What Are The Signs Of It?

Codependency is a relationship disorder characterized by a strong subservience to a partner who experiences frequent difficulties, for example, they could be addicted to alcohol or gambling. Here, the co-dependent person is prepared to help their partner at any cost, even if it means sacrificing their own needs for the benefit of their partner. However, their sacrifices inevitably cause them great frustration, which they never really deal with. In fact, they never really acknowledge the plight of their annoyance and regularly find themselves in a state of denial, surrounded by tons of unspoken and unexpressed points of view. Yet, in spite of the suffering experienced, the co-dependent person is unable to free themselves from this enabling behavior pattern and dysfunctional relationship. Here are signs you are co-dependent and how you can break the cycle.

Bipolar People In Relationships

It's not easy to have a romantic relationship when you have a psychological disorder like bipolar. Love and bipolar disorder may seem incompatible, but they are not. Just because you have bipolar disorder doesn't mean you can't have a healthy relationship. There are just some things to keep in mind, whether it's the person with bipolar or the person living with a bipolar person. What are the elements to know in order for the relationship to go well? Read on for more insights.

The 4 Types Of Romantic Attachment

And yet another guy has escaped me… If you’ve ever said that to yourself, maybe you always go for the same type of person. In any case, I’ve been noticing this for a long time. I’ve also noticed that I was always doubting the relationship, which led to failure... These behaviors reflect a rather opposite type of romantic attachment. But what is a type of attachment? What does it show? Knowing them can help us understand a lot about ourselves and our relationships. Here’s an explanation.

My Boyfriend Is Very Family-Oriented... I’m Not!

And another Sunday at his dear mum’s house! My in-laws are everywhere. During our weekends, on our vacations, at some of our parties, and on our outings, I’m almost surprised we don’t all live together 🤦♀️. Should I suffer, or should I cut the cord for them with my teeth?

Take Our Love Attachment Style Quiz

"I never know where my path goes, but I walk better when my hand clasps yours." I love this Alfred de Musset quote so much because it perfectly illustrates how I feel about my relationship. It's also a great way to understand what my love attachment style is! Knowing how we attach to others, especially in a relationship, can help us understand how we function and how our partner functions. Here’s a full explanation for you.

The Radio Silence Technique

If there’s one thing that really gets under my skin, it’s when I hear advice on how to get your ex back through radio silence. I’m not a good example of this as I’ve tried it, but on the other hand, I’ve also experienced it. In both cases, it was nothing but suffering. It’s ultra-toxic behavior that only creates relational trauma. So it’s high time to forget this (very) bad idea!

How Do You Know If You Love Someone?

I love him, madly, passionately, madly... Or perhaps not at all... I'll admit it, I'm one of those people who know when they are in love, I operate on a crush and strong attraction basis. However, this is not the case for everyone! Sometimes we don't know if it's love, lust, or something else that we feel. How do you know if you are head over heels in love with someone? Love is a pretty mysterious feeling, but there are 10 confirmation signs which prove you've found that someone special.

How Long Will A Narcissist Rebound Relationship Last?

Narcissist rebound relationships generally last anywhere from 6-months to a year. Now, whilst the timeframe depends on each individual, these twisted personalities usually head into these relationships with a plan in mind, meaning they know exactly when and where they'll break things off. Plus, when they are in the final stages of a relationship with you, they are no doubt in the process of grooming their next victim. That's right, the need for a constant narcissistic supply means that they aren't likely to date any one person for an extensive period of time. For them, they require fresh blood every 6-months or so because they simply get bored. Let's take a look at the reasons why they keep their rebounds short, but not so sweet.

What Are The Signs Of True Love?

We all have a certain idea of what true love is, you know, the everlasting one they always show in Disney movies, but the question is, how do we recognize it? Now, no matter how you define it, if you don't find these 10 signs in the person you share your life with, then, unfortunately, your love relationship is not genuine. As with everything when it comes to relationships, sometimes the problem is you, and sometimes it's about the other person. As you go through all these points, think about what you are giving/offering to the other person in return and your points to work on.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde