10 Signs A Married Man Is Using You - Read Them And Run

Last updated by Katie M.

If you’re currently reading this article, then you are no doubt dating a married man who has promised you the earth and then some, yet you’re not totally convinced of his sincerity. Having an affair and being ‘the other woman’ certainly isn’t an easy role, and can become even more confusing when your lover swears to you that he is ready to give up everything because he loves you so much. Lies, false promises, and attempts at manipulation make these shadowy love stories even less transparent, but, to clear things up, here are 10 signs you are unfortunately being used.

Contents: 

If your gut feeling is telling you that the guy you are seeing is using you, then these 10 signs should get you over the line towards certitude. Having an affair is no doubt morally wrong, but the reality is, it happens, and when feelings develop between someone who is taken and a singleton, the truth can be hard to see. Putting the passion to the side may seem difficult, but it will undoubtedly lead you to clarity.

>>> Find out if a narcissist can love you

10 Signs the married man you are dating is using you

1) He uses you as a booty call

If your lover only ever wants to see you for one thing, and one thing only, then this is a major red flag. A relationship with a married man is never straightforward, but there does need to be some semblance of care there for things to work. If he only ever wants to see you for sex at your place, then it might be time you decide to move on and kick him to the curb. Sex is of course an important part of any relationship, but it shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all either...

2) He promises to leave his wife but never does

If you’ve ever dated a married guy, then you’ve probably heard this famous one-liner once too many times. Yet, no matter how many times he professes his love for you and claims he no longer has any feelings for his wife, he never ends up leaving her. And, when you think about it, why would he open Pandora’s box and create a whirlwind of drama, when he has the best of both worlds?

3) He begs you to keep your relationship secret

Married men almost always swear their lovers to secrecy and regularly blackmail them into keeping things on the down-low. After all, despite what they say, they don’t really want to lose their comfortable lives in the suburbs with the perfect wife and kids, yet they can’t resist the thrill of playing with fire.

4) You’ve never met his family and friends

This point connects with the previous and acts as a major warning sign that you are being used for nothing other than sex. Whenever someone goes out of their way to keep you at more than an arm’s length from their personal life, then you know something is off. Just think about it, in a sincere relationship, introducing a partner to family and friends is one of the first things you want to do!

5) Everything is on his terms

Where you meet, at what time, on which day, etc. are all decided by him! In fact, you never really have a say in the matter and are always the one who has to change your plans in order to accommodate him and his schedule. If a married man is using you, his need for control will be overwhelming, and his plans will always be minute because there’s no way in hell he’s prepared to get caught out.

6) He’s manipulative

If whenever you see your lover, he has a story about how awful his wife is and how hard she makes things for him, then alarm bells should be ringing in your head at a deafening volume. Whenever a marriage hits tough times, things can turn ugly, but to blame all the pain on your wife and to paint her out as a villain seems pretty fishy to me. After all, it takes two to tango.

7) The conversation is limited

Although the physical connection and chemistry are there, if these elements were to be stripped away, there would be nothing left. Attraction is great and a fundamental part of any relationship, but conversation runs deeper and proves real compatibility. If you are lost for words with your married man, then this should give you the wake-up call you need.

8) There’s no romance factor

The bottom line is, he’s there for one thing and that’s right, you’ve guessed it, it’s the thing he’s not getting at home
 Sex is the only point on his agenda, which leaves little to no time for romance when he is on such a tight schedule. Well, it is tough to balance your home life with your secret life when there are only so many hours in a day.

9) He’s a player

If you’ve seen him attempting to hide his phone because he’s just received a text from Jessica, Georgia, or was it, Lauren? Then this is a call that you deserve so much better than someone who will only ever be happy playing the field.

10) He regularly ghosts you

Sometimes you won’t hear from him for days, and at other times weeks, and then he’ll crop right back as if nothing happened. The inconsistency in his intensity is disconcerting, but no matter how many times you’ve brought it up, he never improves his communication.

>>> Discover the 8 reasons why ghosters always come back

Editor’s opinion - You deserve so much more!

If any of the points above resonate with you, then you need to move on and start living your life for YOU. You need to turn the page and focus on yourself, instead of trying to please someone who will never be with you properly. In short, you deserve someone who would go to the ends of the earth for you, and shouldn’t waste your time creeping about for someone who sees you as an extracurricular activity.

đŸ€— Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out these articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Leave a comment

Read our latest articles here:

Who Are We?

Want to know who's behind Wengood? A team of passionate people in search of wellness. Here, we share with you our stories, our trials and tribulations and our advice to help you move forward on the path towards serenity.

Lauren Hart - Editor

I have always loved to write, since the dawn of the Internet. For as long as I can remember, I have been blogging about my life, sorrow, and joys.

4 Tips For Learning To Love Yourself: Say Goodbye To Self-Belittlement!

“I’m ugly”, “I’m not good enough”, “I'm not capable of doing anything”, these are thoughts we've all had, it's fair to say at times we can be our own worst critics. That being said, when we don't like ourselves and how we are, it can be difficult to embrace a good sense of self-esteem, which makes the road to appreciating ourselves even rockier. However, this is the key to achieving fulfillment and equilibrium. By learning to love ourselves, we will be able to feel good, both in our bodies and minds.

How To Make New Friends

Remember in middle school when you got close to that girl with pigtails, asked her if she wanted to be your best friend, and the next thing you know, you became BFFs? What a sweet moment that was, but, if only things remained that easy 30 years later. As an adult, it’s so much more difficult to make new friends, and often find it impossible to find the courage needed to approach people. If you want to expand your social circle, we have 6 pieces of advice to help you along the way!

Why Do I Always Feel Guilty?

Are you the type of person who constantly feels the need to apologize without having done anything wrong? Would you for example feel bad about being late to a meeting if your car broke down on the way? Do things that are totally out of your control make you feel terrible about yourself? We all perceive guilt differently, and some of us are far more susceptible to feeling culpable than others. We reveal where this tendency comes from and what you can do to learn to shake it off. It's time you freed yourself from these self-imposed shackles of guilt!

10 Secrets To Successful Relationships

Stories of couples who spend their whole lives together seem like distant fairy tales nowadays. With the rise of dating apps and a shift in the idea of what constitutes a traditional relationship; the word long-term almost sounds foreign to many of us. Being in love isn't always simple, but when it works out, it's worth all the hard work. Being the romantic souls that we are, we wanted to share with you the recipe for a long-lasting and harmonious relationship. After all, who doesn't want to experience what their grandparents did? Discover the best tips for a happy and healthy love story.

Are You Scared Of Success?

Amid the fear of failing hides another fear that is less often spoken about, and that's the fear of succeeding. Doing well isn’t necessarily the key to happiness, that’s why there may be times when we fear it. Although it might seem strange, when we start to achieve our personal goals, we open ourselves up to a wave of new emotions that aren't exactly always easy to deal with. When we are caught off guard by our results, we often go into panic mode and struggle with this concept, however that's not to say we should let this hold us back.

Self-Love Checklist

Life can be a bit of a rollercoaster, and whilst I'm sure we'd all agree that at times we are lucky enough to experience dizzying highs, at other points, we all go through gut-wrenching lows that really do bring us crashing down. Feeling good about ourselves 365 days a year is certainly a big ask, but it's definitely not impossible, and I'm proof of that! Psst, lean in, I want to let you into a secret! Whenever I'm feeling down or when my anxiety spins out of control, I take a look at my self-love checklist for inspiration and decide that it's time to make myself feel better about things.

Teaching Men To Be More Emotionally Honest

As a self-confessed emotional sponge and anxiety sufferer, I've always found men's unwillingness to deal with their emotions surprising. I've always had a turbulent relationship with my emotions, however, over the years, I've learned that introspection and honesty have helped me to deal with them effectively. Men, on the other hand, typically have a tougher time opening up and taking the time to understand what they feel, but although it may seem difficult, acknowledging their fears, anxieties, and dreams will catapult them to the ultimate stage of happiness.

Wengood's favorite tunes đŸŽ”

How to detect a narcissist


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to soothe an anxiety attack