If your gut feeling is telling you that the guy you are seeing is using you, then these 10 signs should get you over the line towards certitude. Having an affair is no doubt morally wrong, but the reality is, it happens, and when feelings develop between someone who is taken and a singleton, the truth can be hard to see. Putting the passion to the side may seem difficult, but it will undoubtedly lead you to clarity.
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10 Signs the married man you are dating is using you
1) He uses you as a booty call
If your lover only ever wants to see you for one thing, and one thing only, then this is a major red flag. A relationship with a married man is never straightforward, but there does need to be some semblance of care there for things to work. If he only ever wants to see you for sex at your place, then it might be time you decide to move on and kick him to the curb. Sex is of course an important part of any relationship, but it shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all either...
2) He promises to leave his wife but never does
If you’ve ever dated a married guy, then you’ve probably heard this famous one-liner once too many times. Yet, no matter how many times he professes his love for you and claims he no longer has any feelings for his wife, he never ends up leaving her. And, when you think about it, why would he open Pandora’s box and create a whirlwind of drama, when he has the best of both worlds?
3) He begs you to keep your relationship secret
Married men almost always swear their lovers to secrecy and regularly blackmail them into keeping things on the down-low. After all, despite what they say, they don’t really want to lose their comfortable lives in the suburbs with the perfect wife and kids, yet they can’t resist the thrill of playing with fire.
4) You’ve never met his family and friends
This point connects with the previous and acts as a major warning sign that you are being used for nothing other than sex. Whenever someone goes out of their way to keep you at more than an arm’s length from their personal life, then you know something is off. Just think about it, in a sincere relationship, introducing a partner to family and friends is one of the first things you want to do!
5) Everything is on his terms
Where you meet, at what time, on which day, etc. are all decided by him! In fact, you never really have a say in the matter and are always the one who has to change your plans in order to accommodate him and his schedule. If a married man is using you, his need for control will be overwhelming, and his plans will always be minute because there’s no way in hell he’s prepared to get caught out.
6) He’s manipulative
If whenever you see your lover, he has a story about how awful his wife is and how hard she makes things for him, then alarm bells should be ringing in your head at a deafening volume. Whenever a marriage hits tough times, things can turn ugly, but to blame all the pain on your wife and to paint her out as a villain seems pretty fishy to me. After all, it takes two to tango.
7) The conversation is limited
Although the physical connection and chemistry are there, if these elements were to be stripped away, there would be nothing left. Attraction is great and a fundamental part of any relationship, but conversation runs deeper and proves real compatibility. If you are lost for words with your married man, then this should give you the wake-up call you need.
8) There’s no romance factor
The bottom line is, he’s there for one thing and that’s right, you’ve guessed it, it’s the thing he’s not getting at home… Sex is the only point on his agenda, which leaves little to no time for romance when he is on such a tight schedule. Well, it is tough to balance your home life with your secret life when there are only so many hours in a day.
9) He’s a player
If you’ve seen him attempting to hide his phone because he’s just received a text from Jessica, Georgia, or was it, Lauren? Then this is a call that you deserve so much better than someone who will only ever be happy playing the field.
10) He regularly ghosts you
Sometimes you won’t hear from him for days, and at other times weeks, and then he’ll crop right back as if nothing happened. The inconsistency in his intensity is disconcerting, but no matter how many times you’ve brought it up, he never improves his communication.
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Editor’s opinion - You deserve so much more!
If any of the points above resonate with you, then you need to move on and start living your life for YOU. You need to turn the page and focus on yourself, instead of trying to please someone who will never be with you properly. In short, you deserve someone who would go to the ends of the earth for you, and shouldn’t waste your time creeping about for someone who sees you as an extracurricular activity.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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