If youâre currently reading this article, then you are no doubt dating a married man who has promised you the earth and then some, yet youâre not totally convinced of his sincerity. Having an affair and being âthe other womanâ certainly isnât an easy role, and can become even more confusing when your lover swears to you that he is ready to give up everything because he loves you so much. Lies, false promises, and attempts at manipulation make these shadowy love stories even less transparent, but, to clear things up, here are 10 signs you are unfortunately being used.
If your gut feeling is telling you that the guy you are seeing is using you, then these 10 signs should get you over the line towards certitude. Having an affair is no doubt morally wrong, but the reality is, it happens, and when feelings develop between someone who is taken and a singleton, the truth can be hard to see. Putting the passion to the side may seem difficult, but it will undoubtedly lead you to clarity.
>>> Find out if a narcissist can love you
If your lover only ever wants to see you for one thing, and one thing only, then this is a major red flag. A relationship with a married man is never straightforward, but there does need to be some semblance of care there for things to work. If he only ever wants to see you for sex at your place, then it might be time you decide to move on and kick him to the curb. Sex is of course an important part of any relationship, but it shouldnât be the be-all and end-all either...
If youâve ever dated a married guy, then youâve probably heard this famous one-liner once too many times. Yet, no matter how many times he professes his love for you and claims he no longer has any feelings for his wife, he never ends up leaving her. And, when you think about it, why would he open Pandoraâs box and create a whirlwind of drama, when he has the best of both worlds?
Married men almost always swear their lovers to secrecy and regularly blackmail them into keeping things on the down-low. After all, despite what they say, they donât really want to lose their comfortable lives in the suburbs with the perfect wife and kids, yet they canât resist the thrill of playing with fire.
This point connects with the previous and acts as a major warning sign that you are being used for nothing other than sex. Whenever someone goes out of their way to keep you at more than an armâs length from their personal life, then you know something is off. Just think about it, in a sincere relationship, introducing a partner to family and friends is one of the first things you want to do!
Where you meet, at what time, on which day, etc. are all decided by him! In fact, you never really have a say in the matter and are always the one who has to change your plans in order to accommodate him and his schedule. If a married man is using you, his need for control will be overwhelming, and his plans will always be minute because thereâs no way in hell heâs prepared to get caught out.
If whenever you see your lover, he has a story about how awful his wife is and how hard she makes things for him, then alarm bells should be ringing in your head at a deafening volume. Whenever a marriage hits tough times, things can turn ugly, but to blame all the pain on your wife and to paint her out as a villain seems pretty fishy to me. After all, it takes two to tango.
Although the physical connection and chemistry are there, if these elements were to be stripped away, there would be nothing left. Attraction is great and a fundamental part of any relationship, but conversation runs deeper and proves real compatibility. If you are lost for words with your married man, then this should give you the wake-up call you need.
The bottom line is, heâs there for one thing and thatâs right, youâve guessed it, itâs the thing heâs not getting at home⊠Sex is the only point on his agenda, which leaves little to no time for romance when he is on such a tight schedule. Well, it is tough to balance your home life with your secret life when there are only so many hours in a day.
If youâve seen him attempting to hide his phone because heâs just received a text from Jessica, Georgia, or was it, Lauren? Then this is a call that you deserve so much better than someone who will only ever be happy playing the field.
Sometimes you wonât hear from him for days, and at other times weeks, and then heâll crop right back as if nothing happened. The inconsistency in his intensity is disconcerting, but no matter how many times youâve brought it up, he never improves his communication.
>>> Discover the 8 reasons why ghosters always come back
At first, it may seem fun. What could be more exhilarating than sending a few cheeky text messages to a guy who seems crazy about you? It is when love gets involved that everything becomes complicated, especially when he is married. The more the backstory is dangerous, the more one feels on the side of love. Out of scope, out of the norm, outside the law. The more one vibrates in tune with the other, the more one suffers from their impediments. For some, it is the nightmare of a life condemned to secrecy, to sacrifice.
However, the bottom line is that texting a married man is considered cheating too. Now, although nothing physical may have gone on, by sending messages, you are participating in emotional cheating. Infidelity is a very broad topic and can come in several forms. Yet, the one common denominator to all of these scenarios is that someone is being betrayed. It may seem like innocent fun and games, but, remember that someone is going to get badly hurt in the process.
>>> Read: Signs you are texting a narcissist
The first sign that a married man is in love with you is the accumulation of attention. In short, he is concerned about what we are going through and seeks not only to know as much as possible about our day but also about our childhood, our personality, and our life.
A married man who loves you would leave no opportunity to talk to you. Whether it's about the latest movies, the latest concert on politics, or a serious topic, he would want to discuss everything with you.
One of the most important signs that a married man is in love with you is that he compliments you. Well, not necessarily tons, but if he compliments you on your personality, your haircut, your clothes, or anything else about you, he is probably in love with you.
Even if he has decided to keep his feelings secret, a married man who is in love with you will try to impress you. You will notice that when he talks to you, he will be cheerful and his tone of voice will be lively. He will always try to initiate conversations via text and in person, and will do his best to hold your attention when you are around him.
It's obvious that a married man who is secretly in love with you will always want to spend as much time as possible in your company. Similarly, a married man who has a crush on a woman will find opportunities to be with her as often as possible.
>>> Read; Are narcissists attracted to each other?
It's hard to know for sure what a married man thinks of you, as it depends on his personal situation, his relationship with his wife, and his own morality. However, here are a few signs that might indicate that a married man is thinking about you:
To determine whether a married man is developing an emotional connection towards you, it's essential to pay attention to certain subtle signs. One of the key indicators is a change in his behavior and attitude towards his wife. If you notice that he's becoming more distant, less attentive, or less invested in the relationship with his wife, this may indicate that he's focusing more on you. What's more, if he frequently talks about you, shares personal details with you, or spends a significant amount of time talking, this could also signal a growing emotional connection. Remember that these signs aren't necessarily irrefutable proof of an emotional connection, but they can be grounds for concern that warrant open and honest communication to understand the situation.
Editorâs opinion - You deserve so much more!If any of the points above resonate with you, then you need to move on and start living your life for YOU. You need to turn the page and focus on yourself, instead of trying to please someone who will never be with you properly. In short, you deserve someone who would go to the ends of the earth for you, and shouldnât waste your time creeping about for someone who sees you as an extracurricular activity. đ€ Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Letâs do it here and now! #BornToBeMe |
Be sure to check out these articles too;
Article presented by Katie M.
Discover the world through my eyes.
Ah meditation! Who still hasnât heard of it? For several years now, this practice has been gaining in popularity. Is it a need to slow down or a desire to find a haven of peace in an ever-changing and stressful world? Maybe. What exactly is mindfulness meditation? What are the benefits? And is it good for everyone? 1, 2, 3, breathe and dive into a more zen world!
It's still dark when I open my eyes, and my heart is pounding out of my chest. In any case, phew, because I'm still alive and kicking. That man who was chasing me through that abandoned house wasnât real, and I havenât been chopped up into hundreds of little pieces. It was all just a bad dream... Like many people, I often have nightmares and have decided that I want to get to the bottom as to why. Letâs take a look together at what causes these disturbing dreams and traumatic events. đ±
If the title of this article hasnât totally scared you away, then you are no doubt wondering what this beast of a person is really like. Well, a malignant narcissist is a step up from a typical narcissist and adds an antisocial personality disorder to the already intimidating mixture. Combined, these two personality disorders represent the relentless need for control, admiration, and power for selfish reasons, making folks with this diagnosis that bit scarier than classic manipulators. Hereâs why these people are so terrifying, and how you can get your own back on them.
Each one of us has our own weaknesses that hold us back in life; be it at work or in relationships. However, on a more positive note, most of us have the will to work on them and transform them. That being said, once narcissists are brought into the picture, the idea that they want to work on their weaknesses doesnât exactly seem feasible. For a deeper understanding of these narcissists and more insights into the workings of their minds, discover their weak spots and which pointers they struggle with on a daily basis, yet aren't willing to admit or work on.
Seeing the number of couples who divorce or separate around us, a legitimate question arises and that is; do we fight less than previous generations to save our relationships? At the first sign of trouble, many of us seem willing to give up and move on to fresher pastures in the love department, that's right, we tend to believe that the grass is greener elsewhere. Is it because we were never truly head over heels for our partner? And, is it naĂŻve to think that love can be everlasting?
Whenever I have trouble sleeping, whenever Iâm bored or whenever my thoughts wander, itâs not uncommon for me to find myself reliving my childhood vacations, or a delightful weekend in bed or even my wedding day. Sometimes I even shed a tear thinking about these moments in my past⊠Yes, Iâm nostalgic, and I love revisiting memories, but that has to stop! Discover the steps to put in place if you want to live in the present!
In general, thumb sucking ends around the age of 6. I say âin generalâ and not ânormallyâ, because as an adult I donât feel weird or particularly bothered by it. When I get stressed, I allow myself to let go and return to my childhood self by sucking my thumb. Those who know about it or catch me by surprise make me realize I should be ashamed⊠But is this habit a big deal? What if it makes me feel better? Itâs certainly no worse than lighting up a cigarette or biting your nailsâŠ
There are people who donât like to be touched at all, and who are almost disgusted by physical contact. There are people who like to caress and be caressed for anything and everything, and there are people like me who always recoil when someone tries to touch them. Why do I shy away from physical contact? What if itâs all linked to the past?
Narcissists definitely move with the times, which is why many of them constantly troll dating sites for new victims. Chatting with a manipulator of this magnitude can be a rollercoaster experience, with dizzying heights that might lead you to believe you are in love, to gut-wrenching lows which will make you question your worth. For any raving narcissist, text message exchanges are a great way to reel in victims and follow through with their master plans for ultimate control over them. Are you texting someone you suspect to be a narcissist? The examples below could confirm your suspicions.
Loneliness is one of societyâs biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population. Now, lots of us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and strong-willed to feel lonely, however, the truth is they are often the biggest victims of this phenomenon, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner malaise.
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
- Oscar Wilde
