A narcissist's inherent traits mean that they will inevitably treat their kids horribly, and no matter how hard they try to change their ways and put their children first, they'll never be able to overcome the darkness lingering in them. They say that narcissism breeds only two things, and they are further narcissism and unhappiness, and for me, this statement seems perfectly accurate.
How does a narcissist act towards their children?
10 Things they are guilty of doing, or not doing...
1) Narcissistic parents will never comfort their kids
There are no two ways about it, narcissists lack empathy for anyone but themselves, and can't even muster any up for their children. Now, most parents automatically feel awash of anxiety and sympathy for their kids whenever they hurt themselves or cry, but not these guys. Instead of comforting them and trying to make them feel better, these toxic parents will simply just ignore them, or in some cases yell at them until they wipe their tears away. Here, tough love definitely prevails.
2) They favor one child
With these people, they'll always treat their children differently and instill a notion of competition between them. Narcissistic mothers and fathers will always have one golden child who they will shower with love, gifts, and affection, whilst the others will be hung out to dry. Hmm, sounds a little bit like love bombing to me! After all, these abusive personalities will always want someone on their side, even if it means buying their affection.
3) They criticize their children
The truth is, these folks have truly wicked tongues, which often damage their children's mental health. In fact, their tendency to emotionally abuse their family members frequently means that they put their kids down about pretty much everything. They'll put them down about their appearance, their weight, their grades, their choice of partner, and even their career path. Basically, they'll find fault in absolutely anything, without especially realizing how much it will impact them in the long term.
4) They won't allow them to sign up for activities
Children of narcissists will never be given the opportunity to sign up for sports or theater classes, for example, and that's because their parents never want to sacrifice their own time for someone else's happiness. These selfish beings never want to commit to doing anything because they'd rather focus on themselves. Now, in the rare cases where they do allow their kids to sign up for activities, they'll become hugely flaky...
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5) They are super strict
Punishments will be taken to the next level with these people and at points, sadly, they will border on child abuse. In reality, the child of a narcissistic parent will be exposed to drastic measures because these devious souls believe that a bit of roughness and tumble will keep them in check and prevent them from rebelling.
6) They lay the affection on thick
As anyone who has been raised by a narcissistic parent can testify, this parent/child relationship is very up and down, which explains why, at times, these emotional and physical abusers become seriously lovey-dovey. At certain points, they'll try to convince themselves that they are in fact good parents and will therefore completely change their behavior.
7) They make every decision for them
Those with narcissistic personality disorders can be huge busybodies, meaning they'll somehow force their way into the center of every milestone decision-making process, even when it doesn't exactly concern them. In reality, these personalities are control freaks and believe that they legitimately have the right to have an input in their children's lives, no matter how old they are, or how poorly they treated them during their childhood.
8) They pretend to feel guilt
Now, whilst we all know that narcissists never actually feel guilty or remorseful for their actions, that doesn't prevent them from acting as if they are torn up by them. In fact, these master manipulators will go to any length possible to get people, and in particular their victims, to feel sorry for them. Lying is second nature to them, which is why they spin tall tales pretty much everywhere they go.
9) They never support them
Narcissists love interfering in other people's business, however, if and when people don't take on board their advice, or essentially, do as they please, then they'll make it known that they no longer support them. Plus, they'll do everything in their power to ensure they fail too, just so that they can say those four magic words; 'I told you so'.
10) They blow hot and cold
This example is particularly true for older kids. Whilst these manipulative demons will at points hassle their kids to spend time with them, at others, they'll brutally cut all means of communication and leave their kids in the dark as to why. In short, they'll never be a stable, constant presence in anyone's life, because they simply don't care enough...
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Does a narcissist love their child?
This is a very complex question and largely depends on the severity of the personality disorder. People with a less severe dose of the condition can eventually learn to love their children and may even project their selfish behavior and overinflated ego onto them, making them believe that they are superior to everyone else. They will evidently need time to adapt to having someone else in their lives, but that's not to say that they are incapable of adjusting, especially when they realize that they can mold their child into their idea of perfection. (Yikes!) As for the raging narcissists out there, who fully embrace their diabolic traits, they'll have a harder time loving their children. In fact, they are completely and utterly void of empathy and simply aren't cut out for loving their offspring. No matter how much time passes, they will never be able to consider their children as being as important as themselves and will consider them as hindrances to their vindictive ways. In short, children of narcissistic parents will never fully receive the love and care that they so deserve.
Editor's opinion - The scars will be brutal...
A parent suffering from such a pathology will negatively impact the psychological foundations of their child. The narcissistic parent does not consider their offspring as such, but instead as objects to be used, especially against the other parent in case of conflict. The child will suffer from this toxicity and will integrate it as being natural. This can affect their self-confidence, making them fragile and unstable. Their ability to judge will be profoundly altered, as will their autonomy and free will.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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