How Do Narcissistic People Treat Their Children? - Horribly, As You Can Imagine

A narcissist's inherent traits mean that they will inevitably treat their kids horribly, and no matter how hard they try to change their ways and put their children first, they'll never be able to overcome the darkness lingering in them. They say that narcissism breeds only two things, and they are further narcissism and unhappiness, and for me, this statement seems perfectly accurate.

How does a narcissist act towards their children? 👪

Narcissistic parents often exhibit behaviors that are harmful to their children’s emotional and psychological well-being. Here are 10 common things they are guilty of doing, or not doing:

1) Narcissistic parents will never comfort their kids

There are no two ways about it: narcissists lack empathy for anyone but themselves and can't even muster any for their children. Most parents feel anxiety and sympathy for their kids when they hurt themselves or cry, but narcissistic parents simply don't care. Instead of comforting their children, these toxic parents will ignore them or even yell at them until they stop crying. Their version of "tough love" is more about their inability to change than about teaching resilience.

2) They favor one child

Narcissistic parents often create a toxic environment by favoring one child over the others. They’ll shower their "golden child" with love, gifts, and affection, while the others are left feeling neglected. This favoritism fosters unhealthy competition and resentment among siblings. Over time, their favorites may change based on the narcissist’s whims, making the dynamic even more unstable.

3) They criticize their children

These parents are notorious for their harsh criticism. They’ll pick apart their children’s appearance, weight, grades, relationships, and even career choices. This constant negativity can severely impact a child’s self-esteem and mental health. Compliments are rare, if not nonexistent, in these households.

4) They won't allow them to sign up for activities

Children of narcissists are often denied opportunities to explore hobbies or extracurricular activities. Narcissistic parents don’t want to sacrifice their time or energy for their children’s happiness. Even in rare cases where they do allow participation, they often become unreliable and fail to follow through on commitments like carpooling or attending events.

5) They are super strict

Discipline in a narcissistic household often crosses the line into cruelty. Punishments can be extreme and border on emotional or physical abuse. Narcissistic parents believe that harsh measures will keep their children obedient and prevent rebellion, but this approach often leaves lasting scars.

6) They lay the affection on thick

The relationship between a narcissistic parent and their child is a rollercoaster. At times, they’ll become overly affectionate in an attempt to convince themselves and others that they are good parents. However, this behavior is often short-lived and serves their own need for validation rather than their child’s well-being.

7) They make every decision for their kids

Narcissistic parents are notorious control freaks. They insert themselves into every major decision in their children’s lives, regardless of their age. This behavior stems from their need to maintain control and ensure that their children’s choices align with their own desires.

8) They pretend to feel guilt

While narcissists rarely feel genuine guilt, they are masters at pretending to be remorseful. This manipulation tactic is designed to elicit sympathy and shift the blame onto others. Their lies and tall tales are tools to maintain control and keep their victims emotionally dependent.

9) They never support their children’s goals or dreams

Narcissists love to interfere in their children’s lives, but only when it serves their own interests. If their children pursue goals that don’t align with their expectations, they’ll withdraw support and even sabotage their efforts. This behavior is often followed by the dreaded "I told you so."

10) They blow hot and cold

Narcissistic parents are inconsistent in their behavior. One moment, they’ll demand their children’s attention and time; the next, they’ll cut off communication without explanation. This unpredictability creates an unstable and emotionally draining environment for their children.

How do narcissists treat their family?

Narcissists often treat their family members with a mix of favoritism, manipulation, and emotional abuse. They may play favorites, lavishing attention and praise on one child or sibling while scapegoating another, creating a toxic environment of competition and resentment. Emotional manipulation is common, with tactics like guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and emotional blackmail used to control and dominate family members. Narcissists typically lack genuine empathy, making it difficult for them to understand or care about the feelings and needs of their relatives. This behavior can lead to long-lasting emotional scars and a dysfunctional family dynamic where the narcissist's needs and desires always take precedence.

Does a narcissist love their child? 👶

This is a very complex question and largely depends on the severity of the personality disorder. People with a less severe dose of the condition can eventually learn to love their children and may even project their selfish behavior and overinflated ego onto them, making them believe that they are superior to everyone else. They will evidently need time to adapt to having someone else in their lives, but that's not to say that they are incapable of adjusting, especially when they realize that they can mold their child into their idea of perfection. (Yikes!) 

As for the raging narcissists out there, who fully embrace their diabolic traits, they'll have a harder time loving their children. In fact, they are completely and utterly void of empathy and simply aren't cut out for loving their offspring. No matter how much time passes, they will never be able to consider their children as being as important as themselves and will consider them as hindrances to their vindictive ways. In short, children of narcissistic parents will never fully receive the love and care that they so deserve.

How can children of narcissists heal?

Growing up with a narcissistic parent can leave deep emotional scars, but healing is possible. Here are some steps to begin the recovery process:

• Seek therapy: A licensed therapist can help you process your experiences and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
• Set boundaries: Learn to say "no" and establish clear limits with your narcissistic parent to protect your mental health.
• Build a support network: Surround yourself with friends and loved ones who validate your feelings and provide emotional support.
• Focus on self-care: Prioritize activities that bring you joy and help you reconnect with your sense of self-worth.
• Educate yourself: Understanding narcissistic behavior can help you recognize patterns and avoid falling into similar dynamics in the future.

Final thoughts

Dealing with a narcissistic parent is an incredibly challenging experience that can leave lasting effects on a child’s emotional and psychological well-being. However, with the right tools and support, it’s possible to heal and build a healthier, more fulfilling life. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Be sure to check out these articles too;

• Reasons why a narcissist will give you no closure
• How to stop being a narcissist
• How to stop bullying in relationships