Do you remember back in the day when you were a teen and constantly fought with your parents, and in particular your mom? Whether it was because you wanted to stay out past your curfew or chose to parade around in your new miniskirt, many of us have faced constant battles with our mothers. However, for those of us dealing with a narcissistic mom, the problems don’t stop when we finish puberty, no, in fact, they stick with us throughout our lives and make it impossible for us to establish a healthy relationship with the person who brought us into the world. Now, if the scenarios below seem all too familiar, then you might just have been raised by a narcissist.
Have you ever wondered if your mom’s behavior might be more than just overbearing? Growing up with a narcissistic mother can be emotionally draining and deeply impactful on your self-esteem. Recognizing the signs is the first step to understanding your relationship and protecting your mental health. Here are 10 telltale signs that your mom might be a narcissist.
If your mom insists on being involved in every aspect of your life—whether it’s your choice of college, career, or even where you live—it could be a sign of a toxic relationship. While having a hands-on mom can be helpful, it doesn’t give her the right to overstep boundaries or dictate your life. Narcissistic moms often feel entitled to control their children’s decisions, leaving little room for independence.
No matter who you bring into your life, she’s never satisfied. Narcissistic moms criticize your choices to undermine your independence and keep you reliant on their approval. In her eyes, no one is ever good enough for her child—unless, of course, she decides so.
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If you struggle to recall moments of affection from your mom, it could be a sign of narcissism. Narcissistic mothers often fail to express love or provide emotional support, leaving their children feeling neglected. Hugs, kind words, and encouragement may have been rare in your childhood because she was too focused on herself.
From criticizing your appearance to making hurtful comments about your achievements, narcissistic moms use negativity to chip away at your self-esteem. These remarks aren’t just slips of the tongue—they’re calculated attempts to maintain control and keep you feeling inadequate.
Narcissistic mothers are masters of manipulation. They’ll spread rumors, invent stories, or twist the truth to keep you under their influence. Their need for control drives them to use any means necessary to maintain power over their children.
Whether it’s a new job or a promotion, a narcissistic mom will find ways to downplay your achievements. Her lack of support often stems from jealousy—she doesn’t want others to see you as more successful than her. Instead of encouragement, you’ll likely face criticism or doubt.
When confronted about her actions, a narcissistic mom will turn the tables and make you feel like the problem. She’ll claim her criticism is "tough love," refusing to take responsibility for her hurtful behavior. This gaslighting tactic leaves you questioning your own feelings and reality.
Narcissistic moms are habitual liars. They distort the truth to serve their narrative, making it difficult to trust anything they say. Over time, you may find yourself doubting whether she’s ever been honest with you.
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Making you feel guilty is one of her favorite tactics. By painting herself as a victim, she shifts the focus away from her toxic behavior and makes you question your own actions. This manipulation keeps you trapped in a cycle of guilt and obligation.
A narcissistic mom will never admit fault or say, "I’m sorry." Her inability to take responsibility for her actions is a hallmark of her personality, leaving you to shoulder the emotional burden of the relationship.
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Dealing with a narcissistic mother can feel overwhelming, but there are steps you can take to protect yourself and improve your relationship. Here are five proven techniques:
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While controlling and narcissistic moms may share some similarities, their motivations and behaviors differ. Narcissistic moms prioritize their own needs and self-image, often using their children to boost their self-esteem. They lack empathy and expect constant admiration, making their relationships emotionally exploitative.
In contrast, controlling moms often act out of fear or overprotectiveness. They may impose strict rules or make decisions for their children in an attempt to shield them from failure. While their intentions may be well-meaning, their behavior can still stifle their children’s independence and self-confidence.
Both types of behavior can have lasting effects on a child’s emotional well-being, making it essential to set boundaries and prioritize self-care.
Sometimes, the healthiest choice is to distance yourself from a toxic relationship. Here are steps to help you walk away from a narcissistic mother:
Editor’s opinion: Sometimes walking away is the healthiest choiceMaintaining a relationship with a narcissistic parent can be emotionally exhausting. If your mom’s behavior is damaging your mental health, it’s okay to prioritize your well-being and take the necessary steps to protect yourself. Life is too short to spend it with people who drag you down, even if they’re family. 🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, and be happy... Let’s do it here and now! #BornToBeMe |
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This helps so much. I feel like I can never be right with my mother. I will definitely be paying attention to the signs.
Kaitlyn Forno, 2 years ago