Psychological Bullying In A Relationship: Stop Turning A Blind Eye To It

Last updated by Lauren Hart

It’s often said that love makes you blind… It’s a phrase that takes on a heavy meaning in the case of psychological bullying in a relationship. Likewise, it’s often difficult to recognize it, which means that humiliation and intimidation gradually take hold. It’s important to distinguish between simple arguments in a relationship, where both of you are equal, and psychological bullying. One person adopts devious and toxic behavior, while the other becomes a victim. Psychological bullying in a relationship can do a lot of damage, so let’s talk about it.

Psychological Bullying In A Relationship: Stop Turning A Blind Eye To It
Contents: 

When does bullying in a relationship start?

Being in a relationship isn’t necessarily a bed of roses. Indeed, due to personality differences or disagreements, you may encounter stormy periods 🌩️. Arguments can then occur, but they can quickly be resolved by taking a step back and adopting non-violent communication.

It’s not bullying in this case, because in reality there needs to be a notion of repetition. When you’re subjected to daily hurtful remarks or mocking by your partner, this is psychological bullying 😥. If the person justifies it by saying that it’s “just for fun” and that it’s “teasing”, there’s surely a narcissistic pervert hiding behind this justification 🤦♀️...

An example of psychological bullying in a relationship

A recent example of psychological bullying in a relationship was highlighted by a Médiapart investigation. They showed the extremely problematic behavior of the video maker Léo Grasset. Several women who were with him for several years testified to psychological violence committed by this man. He hurls insults, and commits ghosting and love bombing, with public and private mocking.

This is indeed bullying in a relationship, as he tries to keep a hold of the victim while humiliating her. This is what you feel when reading “Lisa’s” (not her real name) testimonial in this article. Unfortunately, while this case of psychological bullying has been revealed to the public, there are thousands that are glossed over in silence 😔...

How do you recognize psychological bullying in a relationship?

It’s legitimate to ask how you can identify psychological bullying in a relationship, especially as it can take different forms. For example, in the case of a long-distance relationship, there may be online messages, which are similar to cyberbullying. However, this remains in the couple’s private sphere, where one partner adopts a contemptuous attitude. There are certain behaviors to look out for in order to “tick the boxes” of the psychological bullying in a relationship test 🤕:

  • ❌ He mocks our physical appearance or intelligence,
  • ❌ He rolls his eyes when we speak,
  • ❌ He denies our emotions and how we feel,
  • ❌ He calls us crazy (or calls his exes crazy 😫)
  • ❌ He regularly insults us,
  • ❌ He belittles our opinions or plans,
  • ❌ He blackmails us if we refuse to do something,
  • ❌ He threatens us,
  • ❌ He forces us to dress in a certain way,
  • ❌ He forces us to do something against our will,
  • ❌ He threatens to commit suicide because of us…

If any item on this test is ticked, it’s evidence of toxic behavior. However, you should keep in mind that this is a non-exhaustive list, as bullying can take an even more discreet and harmful form. In order to gain additional insight, you can also take a look at a tool for recognizing violence against women, the violence meter. Thanks to this, you can take a step back and learn to detect the red flags to know if your relationship is healthy or not 🚩…

What do you do when you’re a victim of bullying in a relationship?

If you’re a victim of psychological bullying in your relationship, you should already be aware of it! This process can be done by yourself or with the help of a psychotherapist. The latter can help us regain our self-confidence and assert ourselves with our partners. You can also suggest couple therapy to him, but very often the other person can’t see the problem and plays the misunderstood victim.

The other, more radical option is to leave the narcissistic pervert in our lives. First and foremost, you need to protect yourselves and make yourself your priority. Especially as someone who is psychologically abusive can very quickly turn to physical violence 😰… It’s good to note that you also have the right to file a complaint, even if there has been no physical attack.

How can you prove psychological bullying in a relationship?

Bullying in a relationship is punishable by law, which shows how serious it is and that it mustn’t be allowed to take root. Indeed, the law punishes psychological violence, particularly within a relationship. ⚠️ The perpetrator who commits this psychological bullying in a relationship is liable to 3 to 5 years imprisonment and a fine that varies according to the gravity of the damage caused to the victim.

But you have to be able to prove that there is psychological bullying within the relationship. The victim is often isolated by the perpetrator, so those around them don’t witness this behavior very much 😔. However, if someone witnesses the bullying take place, they have to be able to testify. It’s also necessary to gather all the evidence to lodge a complaint, such as voice messages, written proof (chat, text, email, etc.), medical certificates attesting to your psychological state, etc.

In any case, you mustn’t suffer psychological bullying in a relationship, you need to get rid of it as quickly as possible, even if it means ending the relationship. The important thing is to protect yourself.

Editor’s note: The urgent need to react…

If you’re a victim of psychological bullying in your relationship, you must react and get help urgently to get out of it. Start by talking about it to close friends, family, and even a psychologist. They will help you analyze the situation, understand how the other person works, and take action to free yourself from it. Repeated bullying over months or years causes serious psychological damage, so you need to react quickly. Don’t hesitate to make an appointment with one of our psychologists.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out these articles too,

Article presented by Lauren Hart

Writing is a beautiful means of expression that I cannot do without. It has allowed me to channel my hypersensitivity, plus I love writing about psychology and personal development. For me, self-understanding is the best way to move forward!

Our most popular 'relationship' articles:

Relationship essentials:

10 Reasons Why Your Ex Slept With Someone Else After Your Breakup

We are all unique individuals, and we, therefore, go about handling breakups and the other obstacles life throws our way, differently. Now, when it comes to breakups, there are those of us that almost become celibate and decide that they can't stand the idea of getting to know anyone ever again. Then, on the other hand, there are those that fill their phones with dating apps and jump from one one-night stand to the next. This second scenario may seem harmless, but once we dig a little deeper into the repercussions of it, we soon realize that sleeping with other people so freshly out of a relationship masks troubling sentiments of unhappiness and uneasiness.

What Is Codependency And What Are The Signs Of It?

Codependency is a relationship disorder characterized by a strong subservience to a partner who experiences frequent difficulties, for example, they could be addicted to alcohol or gambling. Here, the co-dependent person is prepared to help their partner at any cost, even if it means sacrificing their own needs for the benefit of their partner. However, their sacrifices inevitably cause them great frustration, which they never really deal with. In fact, they never really acknowledge the plight of their annoyance and regularly find themselves in a state of denial, surrounded by tons of unspoken and unexpressed points of view. Yet, in spite of the suffering experienced, the co-dependent person is unable to free themselves from this enabling behavior pattern and dysfunctional relationship. Here are signs you are co-dependent and how you can break the cycle.

Bipolar People In Relationships

It's not easy to have a romantic relationship when you have a psychological disorder like bipolar. Love and bipolar disorder may seem incompatible, but they are not. Just because you have bipolar disorder doesn't mean you can't have a healthy relationship. There are just some things to keep in mind, whether it's the person with bipolar or the person living with a bipolar person. What are the elements to know in order for the relationship to go well? Read on for more insights.

The 4 Types Of Romantic Attachment

And yet another guy has escaped me… If you’ve ever said that to yourself, maybe you always go for the same type of person. In any case, I’ve been noticing this for a long time. I’ve also noticed that I was always doubting the relationship, which led to failure... These behaviors reflect a rather opposite type of romantic attachment. But what is a type of attachment? What does it show? Knowing them can help us understand a lot about ourselves and our relationships. Here’s an explanation.

My Boyfriend Is Very Family-Oriented... I’m Not!

And another Sunday at his dear mum’s house! My in-laws are everywhere. During our weekends, on our vacations, at some of our parties, and on our outings, I’m almost surprised we don’t all live together 🤦♀️. Should I suffer, or should I cut the cord for them with my teeth?

Take Our Love Attachment Style Quiz

"I never know where my path goes, but I walk better when my hand clasps yours." I love this Alfred de Musset quote so much because it perfectly illustrates how I feel about my relationship. It's also a great way to understand what my love attachment style is! Knowing how we attach to others, especially in a relationship, can help us understand how we function and how our partner functions. Here’s a full explanation for you.

The Radio Silence Technique

If there’s one thing that really gets under my skin, it’s when I hear advice on how to get your ex back through radio silence. I’m not a good example of this as I’ve tried it, but on the other hand, I’ve also experienced it. In both cases, it was nothing but suffering. It’s ultra-toxic behavior that only creates relational trauma. So it’s high time to forget this (very) bad idea!

How Do You Know If You Love Someone?

I love him, madly, passionately, madly... Or perhaps not at all... I'll admit it, I'm one of those people who know when they are in love, I operate on a crush and strong attraction basis. However, this is not the case for everyone! Sometimes we don't know if it's love, lust, or something else that we feel. How do you know if you are head over heels in love with someone? Love is a pretty mysterious feeling, but there are 10 confirmation signs which prove you've found that someone special.

How Long Will A Narcissist Rebound Relationship Last?

Narcissist rebound relationships generally last anywhere from 6-months to a year. Now, whilst the timeframe depends on each individual, these twisted personalities usually head into these relationships with a plan in mind, meaning they know exactly when and where they'll break things off. Plus, when they are in the final stages of a relationship with you, they are no doubt in the process of grooming their next victim. That's right, the need for a constant narcissistic supply means that they aren't likely to date any one person for an extensive period of time. For them, they require fresh blood every 6-months or so because they simply get bored. Let's take a look at the reasons why they keep their rebounds short, but not so sweet.

What Are The Signs Of True Love?

We all have a certain idea of what true love is, you know, the everlasting one they always show in Disney movies, but the question is, how do we recognize it? Now, no matter how you define it, if you don't find these 10 signs in the person you share your life with, then, unfortunately, your love relationship is not genuine. As with everything when it comes to relationships, sometimes the problem is you, and sometimes it's about the other person. As you go through all these points, think about what you are giving/offering to the other person in return and your points to work on.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde