When does bullying in a relationship start?
Being in a relationship isn’t necessarily a bed of roses. Indeed, due to personality differences or disagreements, you may encounter stormy periods 🌩️. Arguments can then occur, but they can quickly be resolved by taking a step back and adopting non-violent communication.
It’s not bullying in this case, because in reality there needs to be a notion of repetition. When you’re subjected to daily hurtful remarks or mocking by your partner, this is psychological bullying 😥. If the person justifies it by saying that it’s “just for fun” and that it’s “teasing”, there’s surely a narcissistic pervert hiding behind this justification 🤦♀️...
An example of psychological bullying in a relationship
A recent example of psychological bullying in a relationship was highlighted by a Médiapart investigation. They showed the extremely problematic behavior of the video maker Léo Grasset. Several women who were with him for several years testified to psychological violence committed by this man. He hurls insults, and commits ghosting and love bombing, with public and private mocking.
This is indeed bullying in a relationship, as he tries to keep a hold of the victim while humiliating her. This is what you feel when reading “Lisa’s” (not her real name) testimonial in this article. Unfortunately, while this case of psychological bullying has been revealed to the public, there are thousands that are glossed over in silence 😔...
How do you recognize psychological bullying in a relationship?
It’s legitimate to ask how you can identify psychological bullying in a relationship, especially as it can take different forms. For example, in the case of a long-distance relationship, there may be online messages, which are similar to cyberbullying. However, this remains in the couple’s private sphere, where one partner adopts a contemptuous attitude. There are certain behaviors to look out for in order to “tick the boxes” of the psychological bullying in a relationship test 🤕:
- ❌ He mocks our physical appearance or intelligence,
- ❌ He rolls his eyes when we speak,
- ❌ He denies our emotions and how we feel,
- ❌ He calls us crazy (or calls his exes crazy 😫)
- ❌ He regularly insults us,
- ❌ He belittles our opinions or plans,
- ❌ He blackmails us if we refuse to do something,
- ❌ He threatens us,
- ❌ He forces us to dress in a certain way,
- ❌ He forces us to do something against our will,
- ❌ He threatens to commit suicide because of us…
If any item on this test is ticked, it’s evidence of toxic behavior. However, you should keep in mind that this is a non-exhaustive list, as bullying can take an even more discreet and harmful form. In order to gain additional insight, you can also take a look at a tool for recognizing violence against women, the violence meter. Thanks to this, you can take a step back and learn to detect the red flags to know if your relationship is healthy or not 🚩…
What do you do when you’re a victim of bullying in a relationship?
If you’re a victim of psychological bullying in your relationship, you should already be aware of it! This process can be done by yourself or with the help of a psychotherapist. The latter can help us regain our self-confidence and assert ourselves with our partners. You can also suggest couple therapy to him, but very often the other person can’t see the problem and plays the misunderstood victim.
The other, more radical option is to leave the narcissistic pervert in our lives. First and foremost, you need to protect yourselves and make yourself your priority. Especially as someone who is psychologically abusive can very quickly turn to physical violence 😰… It’s good to note that you also have the right to file a complaint, even if there has been no physical attack.
How can you prove psychological bullying in a relationship?
Bullying in a relationship is punishable by law, which shows how serious it is and that it mustn’t be allowed to take root. Indeed, the law punishes psychological violence, particularly within a relationship. ⚠️ The perpetrator who commits this psychological bullying in a relationship is liable to 3 to 5 years imprisonment and a fine that varies according to the gravity of the damage caused to the victim.
But you have to be able to prove that there is psychological bullying within the relationship. The victim is often isolated by the perpetrator, so those around them don’t witness this behavior very much 😔. However, if someone witnesses the bullying take place, they have to be able to testify. It’s also necessary to gather all the evidence to lodge a complaint, such as voice messages, written proof (chat, text, email, etc.), medical certificates attesting to your psychological state, etc.
In any case, you mustn’t suffer psychological bullying in a relationship, you need to get rid of it as quickly as possible, even if it means ending the relationship. The important thing is to protect yourself.
Editor’s note: The urgent need to react…
If you’re a victim of psychological bullying in your relationship, you must react and get help urgently to get out of it. Start by talking about it to close friends, family, and even a psychologist. They will help you analyze the situation, understand how the other person works, and take action to free yourself from it. Repeated bullying over months or years causes serious psychological damage, so you need to react quickly. Don’t hesitate to make an appointment with one of our psychologists.
🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!
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