I'm Incapable Of Apologizing, But Is That A Crime?

Last updated by Katie M.

It doesn't exactly bother me if my housemate has to take a cold shower because I used all the hot water, or if I accidentally stained a coworker’s white shirt with my morning coffee. I understand their resentment, but I can’t apologize. Is it my ego or the desire to be honest that prevents me from asking for forgiveness?

I'm Incapable Of Apologizing, But Is That A Crime?

“Oh, it seems to me, that sorry seems to be the hardest word… ♫”  Acknowledging your wrongdoings is a sign of greatness and apologizing is proof of humility. People who ask for forgiveness easily are wise and brave, I understand. No matter how serious my mistake, I just can’t apologize… But I have good excuses!

Why I can never admit my wrongdoings

Apologizing is an insult to my pride

No matter how many times I say, “I’m sorry”, “Forgive me”, “Please don’t be mad at me”, it always sounds to me like, “I’m so mean, do you want me to grovel at your feet?” It’s just us, so admit it, not saying sorry gives such a satisfying sense of superiority! Some people look sorry to even exist, but let it be known that I’m not one of them. Whoever can make me feel guilty for existing and for being me hasn’t been born yet. Although there are codes of decorum, from the moment we live in a community, we expose ourselves to the risk that others will hurt us, even unconsciously. I have my pride; a fiery temperament, and I will never renounce my personality.

>>> Find out why I feel empty inside

I’d rather be real than a hypocrite

I remember the last time I said sorry. One of my coworkers had missed the bus because we were talking, and the conversation went on forever. It was more a combination of factors than a malicious, premeditated act, but the end result was the same… So, to maintain the peace, I said those famous words. Forced and coerced. And I regretfully thought that few apologies are truly sincere and spontaneous.

Underneath my proud exterior, I’d much rather be someone who is stubborn but honest, who sticks to their guns and who doesn’t question their behavior, than someone who makes empty apologies. To all those smooth-talking hypocrites who look you straight in the eye and say sorry when they don’t mean a word of it and couldn’t care less about you… An apology is sacred! Either you mean it, or you don’t say it. Put yourself in the shoes of someone you’ve hurt before saying something you don’t mean. There’s nothing worse than hearing an “I’m sorry” that oozes irony.

I don’t comfort others in their misfortune

It’s a sad fact that humans are not known for being kind to their fellow man. So, when someone has been hurt, pushed around or offended, you’d best run for your life! Don’t see this as a sign of cowardice, just a strategy to protect yourself. If I could guarantee that my apologies would be accepted, I would hesitate much less. But it seems you can’t forgive everything, so… I don’t want to put the ball in their court.

By evading the issue so as not to entertain a vicious game of revenge and resentment, I also spare those I’ve wronged. By not saying sorry, I don’t pity them and I don’t comfort them in their misfortune. “Oh, poor thing, I’ve stained your shirt, your life is ruined” … no! I’d rather give them the impression that it’s not a big deal and hope that they will react with dignity.

>>> Discover what hypersensitive people are great at

Editor's opinion: Become aware of it and change this harmful behavior

‘Admitting weakness is impossible, apologizing would be like saying ‘I’m showing you what I’m lacking in’, «explains the psychoanalyst Nicole Fabre*. Some people, more serious cases, are impeded, viscerally incapable of apologizing. According to the doctor in psychology and psychoanalyst Moussa Nabati, this mental block or “inner impediment” is linked to a feeling of badly managed guilt. They prefer to shut themselves off in denial rather than accept their wrongdoing and the harm they may have caused to others.

This behavior can be harmful, as the psychoanalyst Nicole Fabre explains, “We can tell ourselves that we’ve always been like that, but we’re wrong. Those who don’t want to change will end up isolating themselves and being rejected.” If you’ve recognized this behavior in yourself or in one of your loved ones, become aware of it, as change can only come from within. Learn to manage your guilt and love yourself more.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

More great content;

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Why Do We Feel Better In The Evening When We Have Depression?

If there’s one symptom that can be observed in any type of depression, it’s fatigue. Intense fatigue that sticks to the skin and holds us back like a ball and chain. The problem with this fatigue is that it occurs mainly in the morning, which is one of the reasons why, in the case of depression, we feel better in the evening than in the morning.

Pay Transparency: Why Is Talking About Your Salary So Taboo?

If there’s a world where taboos abound, it’s the world of work. Avoiding opening up, avoiding emotions, avoiding closeness, avoiding anything personal, but above all, the opaque mystery of salaries! The ban is there, never stated, never established, but its scent floats around the subject of salaries. But why is talking about your salary so taboo?

What Job Can Reconcile Your Professional And Home Life?

As the saying goes, ‘we can’t have it all’, but is that really true? Establishing balance in your life is never exactly an easy challenge, but it is the secret to creating happiness is finding the sacred line between your job and your family. That’s right, it's essential to ask yourself how you organize your life, so you can make the most of every moment. So, what job will allow you to reconcile both aspects of your life?

10 Signs The Narcissist Discarding Phase Has Been Activated

The most important thing to understand when dealing with a narcissist is that their reign of terror won't last forever. Now, whilst their torment underway, it will no doubt be one of the most harrowing things you can mentally go through. However, when the abuser decides they've had enough of you, they'll halt their horrific abuse in a heartbeat and look for someone else. People with narcissistic personality disorders are constantly on the lookout for new prey and when they find someone who fills their criteria, they'll move into the discarding phase of their plan. After all, they aren't very eco-friendly, their motto is out with the old, in with the new!

What Does A Narcissist Hate?

Narcissists are experts in the field of duping and manipulating their victims, yes, that’s right they are true chameleons, which explains why many of them often go undetected. Their behavior is definitely dangerous and means we definitely need to figure out what makes them tick and, in this particular case, what they hate. Understanding what these entitled personalities dislike is one of the keys to best exposing them and freeing their victims from their grip. Now, we all get angry for one reason or another, but people with this personality disorder have different triggers related to the things they despise.

10 Reasons Why Your Ex Slept With Someone Else After Your Breakup

We are all unique individuals, and we, therefore, go about handling breakups and the other obstacles life throws our way, differently. Now, when it comes to breakups, there are those of us that almost become celibate and decide that they can't stand the idea of getting to know anyone ever again. Then, on the other hand, there are those that fill their phones with dating apps and jump from one one-night stand to the next. This second scenario may seem harmless, but once we dig a little deeper into the repercussions of it, we soon realize that sleeping with other people so freshly out of a relationship masks troubling sentiments of unhappiness and uneasiness.

What Is Gaslighting And Why Is It So Dangerous?

Gaslighting is one of the most destabilizing and covert forms of manipulation out there, and often makes victims feel completely lost and broken. This scary scenario essentially involves brainwashing via deception and is frequently characterized by blatant denial and emotional blackmail. ‘No, darling, I would never lie to you. I love you too much for that. Remember, it was you who stained my collar with lipstick... you forget everything.’ This is a classic example of this type of abuse, and trust me, I should know because I’ve been through it...

Can A Narcissist Be Faithful?

Narcissists often get bad press, and although many of us try to see the best in most people, in their case, it can be extremely difficult to find. The truth is, folks with this personality disorder don’t exactly have many redeeming qualities that could potentially help to excuse and explain their borderline evil behavior. Plus, when it comes to love, their lack of empathy means they have next to no loyalty, which means many of them often end up cheating on their partners. Ladies, if you are in a relationship with a narcissist, the alarm bells ought to be truly deafening.

Help, Why Do I Attract Narcissists?

After a succession of dating disasters, I decided that it was time I took a step back to analyze the root of my consistent heartbreak. Being on the dating scene is tough, and meeting new people just isn’t as easy as they make it out to be. Although, that being said, meeting toxic monsters seems to be a lot less complicated, well at least for me, it seems that way, that’s right, I have a real talent for it. So, after deleting all of my apps and going on a dating hiatus for several months, I finally understand why I attract people with narcissistic personality disorders, who do nothing but break me down and subject me to narcissistic abuse.

Can You Have A Healthy Relationship With A Narcissist?

I’ve always been very open with my dating history, so if you’ve read some of my other articles, you’ll probably already know that, none of my relationships have ever fulfilled me, or even made me feel good about myself. In fact, since dating my most recent partner, who was by the way a raging narcissist, I’ve decided that I need to take a break from love, and instead, spend more time on finding myself. How did I get to this point? Well, when I was with my ex, no matter how hard I tried, our love disintegrated, well at least for me, it did. I can now firmly say that all the tears, arguments, and pain have taught me that loving someone with narcissistic tendencies will only ever end in disaster, and I’m about to share why.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Let It BE - Beatles Awaken2Now (See Thru Oppositional 2’s)
    3:54
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:19
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack