My Ex Has Started Calling Me Again! What Should I Do?

We probably all know this scenario only too well. It starts like this, you’re sitting down quietly minding your own business and then suddenly your phone rings, but you weren’t expecting any calls and it’s past 11pm. The worst is still yet to come because when you look at the caller ID, you notice that it’s your ex; the one you recently cut all contact with. Why is he trying to contact you again? And moreover, should you answer or block all of his calls?

Contents: 

Why is my ex-partner suddenly reaching out to me?

The first thing to take into account is that if your ex calls you after a long period of silence it's probably not to wage war. For him, it's probably more of an opportunity to smooth things out or even just to catch up. The problem is, this plunges you into a dilemma and brings up past issues too. Deciding whether or not to pick up will be based on the terms you left each other. If for example you have children together, you probably won’t react in the same way as you would if your relationship had ended badly.

> Check out our advice on how to break up with your partner maturely <

How should I react when my ex contacts me?

Whether the feelings are slowly resurfacing, whether they are not quite buried or whether you have moved on, an exchange with your ex can be a way to get to the bottom of a past situation that may still slightly haunt you. At the time of a separation, there are often things left unsaid. Our anger, sadness and even embarrassment often ensure that we become incapable of getting everything off our chests. In this instance, starting a more serene dialogue with a past flame could help clarify certain points that currently prevent you from moving forward and blossoming in a new relationship.

I need to think of myself first

If your ex calls you back after giving you the silent treatment for several weeks or months, your first priority will be to think of yourself. In short, you must protect yourself at all costs. If you feel that talking to your ex will bring back bad memories and you don’t feel strong enough to plunge yourself back into the brutal memories of the past, then it’s best to act like you’ve changed numbers. If on the other hand you want closure, then picking up could be the solution you need to move on and look towards the future.

> Discover the things you SHOULDN'T do after a breakup < 

It could be the key to clearing up a painful situation

Finally, when your ex gets back in touch with you, you might want to clear the air as quickly as possible. By doing this, you’ll quickly want to try and determine your ex-partner's intentions. Imagine that this contact brings your old feelings to the surface while your ex only wants to see how you’re doing. That would be awkward…

One thing to remember then, before jumping in headfirst, is to take a breath and step back. Emotionally speaking, when an ex comes back on the scene, things can be tough and an instant upheaval could be provoked.

The editor’s opinion – Evaluate your own situation and feelings

Beware, because this situation could be the start of a dangerous game! It is very likely that he is trying to get you back and drawn you in again. Although it can feel charming and flattering, things are likely to become toxic soon enough. Remember, if you are no longer together, there’s a good reason for it.

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