My Ex Has Started Calling Me Again! What Should I Do?

Last updated by Katie M.

We probably all know this scenario only too well. It starts like this, you’re sitting down quietly minding your own business and then suddenly your phone rings, but you weren’t expecting any calls, and it’s past 11pm. The worst is still yet to come because when you look at the caller ID, you notice that it’s your ex; the one you recently cut all contact with. Why is he trying to contact you again? And moreover, should you answer or block all of his calls?

Why is my ex-partner suddenly reaching out to me?

The first thing to take into account is that if your ex calls you after a long period of silence, it's probably not to wage war. For him, it's probably more of an opportunity to smooth things out or even just to catch up. The problem is, this plunges you into a dilemma and brings up past issues too. Deciding whether to pick up will be based on the terms you left each other. If, for example you have children together, you probably won’t react in the same way as you would if your relationship had ended badly.

> Check out our advice on how to break up with your partner maturely <

How should I react when my ex contacts me?

Whether the feelings are slowly resurfacing, whether they are not quite buried or whether you have moved on, an exchange with your ex can be a way to get to the bottom of a past situation that may still slightly haunt you. At the time of a separation, there are often things left unsaid. Our anger, sadness and even embarrassment often ensure that we become incapable of getting everything off our chests. In this instance, starting a more serene dialogue with a past flame could help clarify certain points that currently prevent you from moving forward and blossoming in a new relationship.

I need to think of myself first

If your ex calls you back after giving you the silent treatment for several weeks or months, your first priority will be to think of yourself. In short, you must protect yourself at all costs. If you feel that talking to your ex will bring back bad memories, and you don’t feel strong enough to plunge yourself back into the brutal memories of the past, then it’s best to act like you’ve changed numbers. If, on the other hand, you want closure, then picking up could be the solution you need to move on and look towards the future.

> Discover the things you SHOULDN'T do after a breakup < 

It could be the key to clearing up a painful situation

Finally, when your ex gets back in touch with you, you might want to clear the air as quickly as possible. By doing this, you’ll quickly want to try and determine your ex-partner's intentions. Imagine that this contact brings your old feelings to the surface, while your ex only wants to see how you’re doing. That would be awkward…

One thing to remember then, before jumping in headfirst, is to take a breath and step back. Emotionally speaking, when an ex comes back on the scene, things can be tough and an instant upheaval could be provoked.

 💡 FAQ - Why did my ex call me? ▼

Receiving a call from an ex can be surprising and may leave you wondering about their intentions. There are several reasons why an ex might reach out. They could be feeling nostalgic or reflecting on past memories, which prompted them to reconnect. They might also be seeking closure or wanting to resolve any unresolved issues between you. In some cases, an ex may call because they miss the connection you shared and are considering the possibility of rekindling the relationship. Alternatively, they could be going through a difficult time and are looking for support from someone familiar. It's important to consider the context of your past relationship and your current feelings before deciding how to respond. Reflect on your boundaries and what is best for your emotional well-being when determining whether to engage in further communication.

The editor’s opinion – Evaluate your own situation and feelings

Beware, because this situation could be the start of a dangerous game! It is very likely that he is trying to get you back and drawn you in again. Although it can feel charming and flattering, things are likely to become toxic soon enough. Remember, if you are no longer together, there’s a good reason for it.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Connect with an advisor

You might also enjoy the following content: 

Article presented by
Katie, M.

"🌻 Discover the world through my eyes."

Read our latest articles here:

How To Have An Orgasm? 6 Tips To Let Go And Enjoy!

How many times have I heard my friends say they couldn't reach orgasm during sex? We all deserve to experience pure pleasure when we're intimate. Personally, when I have sex, I know I’m going to orgasm. Why? Because there are a few key secrets to guarantee pleasure every time. Just like I shared them with my friends, I’m sharing them with you now—let’s dive in! [Yes, this article is specially for people with a vulva!]

Ghosting: When Silence Becomes A Brutal Breakup

One message, then two, then three… but still no response. Ghosting is a cruel breakup method that leaves you completely confused. Suddenly, you have no way to reach someone with whom everything seemed fine just moments ago. Being ghosted is incredibly difficult to handle, which is why it's important to talk about it. I’ll explain what’s behind this behavior and how to heal from it—because even though it’s extremely painful in the moment, you can move past it.

Shadow Work: How To Embrace Your Dark Side?

We all have a shadow side within us, myself included. Just like villains in movies, there are darker aspects of our personality that we prefer to hide from others. However, it’s essential to embrace these shadow parts because, as psychiatrist Carl Jung famously said, "There is no light without shadow." Let’s explore how acknowledging our "dark" side can lead to better psychological balance.

I Want My Parents To Be Proud Of Me—Why?

I'm over 30 years old, and I still feel happy when I share a success with my father. I know it brings me joy, especially since my mother is no longer with us. However, I've never really questioned it: why do I need to feel that my father is proud of me? More broadly, why do we seek our parents' approval? Wanting to make our parents happy is one thing, but it's important to reflect on this more deeply—especially if their approval plays a significant role in our lives.

The 10 Weak Points Of A Narcissist Revealed

Each one of us has our own weaknesses that hold us back in life; be it at work or in relationships. However, on a more positive note, most of us have the will to work on them and transform them. That being said, once narcissists are brought into the picture, the idea that they want to work on their weaknesses doesn’t exactly seem feasible. For a deeper understanding of these narcissists and more insights into the workings of their minds, discover their weak spots and which pointers they struggle with on a daily basis, yet aren't willing to admit or work on 👎.

10 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually - Romance Is Dead

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. 🙈 Discover the weird things narcissists do in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

Are Narcissists Lonely?

Loneliness is one of society’s biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population 😔. Now, lots of us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and strong-willed to feel alone, however, the truth is they are often the biggest victims of loneliness, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner malaise.

Who Do Narcissists Target?

If reading up on narcissists terrifies you, you probably already realize how dangerous their toxic personalities can be. Although, that being said, I’m probably going to add to the list of reasons as to why you should be ultra wary of these abusers, by revealing who they prey on. One thing that can be said about narcissists is that they certainly aren’t predictable people! 😱 Plus, spoiler alert, they don’t necessarily always choose to emotionally abuse seemingly weak people, no, in fact, they often choose bigger fish to fry because they love a challenge. Discover the types of personalities they hone in on and why.

Why Do I Get Upset When Someone Doesn't Text Back?

Friday night rolls around and after a hard week you were expecting to have a drink with a girlfriend, but she seems to have left you hanging on read... To make matters worse (and the humiliation?) you even saw the little typing sign appear, yet you never received a reply. Well, if that’s the case, obviously you or your "how about a drink tonight?" didn’t deserve an answer. Let’s take a look at why some people don't reply to messages, and why when someone doesn't reply to your text, this makes us feel so bad.

How To Heal From The Pain Of Being Rejected

Whether it’s the breakdown of a relationship, a family dispute, or even being fired dismissal... We have all experienced the feeling of being rejected, excluded, or left out. Whilst some people manage to bounce back quite quickly, others suffer from it in a persistent way. As for me, I understood how to move on, because I was able to recognize my rejection wound. So, how can we overcome the fear of rejection and move on from it?



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack