My Ex Has Started Calling Me Again! What Should I Do?

Last updated July 26, 2023 by Katie M.

We probably all know this scenario only too well. It starts like this, you’re sitting down quietly minding your own business and then suddenly your phone rings, but you weren’t expecting any calls, and it’s past 11pm. The worst is still yet to come because when you look at the caller ID, you notice that it’s your ex; the one you recently cut all contact with. Why is he trying to contact you again? And moreover, should you answer or block all of his calls?

Contents:

Why does he suddenly want to chat?
Should I answer or bloke his number?
Editor's opinion - Focus on yourself

Why is my ex-partner suddenly reaching out to me?

The first thing to take into account is that if your ex calls you after a long period of silence, it's probably not to wage war. For him, it's probably more of an opportunity to smooth things out or even just to catch up. The problem is, this plunges you into a dilemma and brings up past issues too. Deciding whether to pick up will be based on the terms you left each other. If, for example you have children together, you probably won’t react in the same way as you would if your relationship had ended badly.

> Check out our advice on how to break up with your partner maturely <

How should I react when my ex contacts me?

Whether the feelings are slowly resurfacing, whether they are not quite buried or whether you have moved on, an exchange with your ex can be a way to get to the bottom of a past situation that may still slightly haunt you. At the time of a separation, there are often things left unsaid. Our anger, sadness and even embarrassment often ensure that we become incapable of getting everything off our chests. In this instance, starting a more serene dialogue with a past flame could help clarify certain points that currently prevent you from moving forward and blossoming in a new relationship.

I need to think of myself first

If your ex calls you back after giving you the silent treatment for several weeks or months, your first priority will be to think of yourself. In short, you must protect yourself at all costs. If you feel that talking to your ex will bring back bad memories, and you don’t feel strong enough to plunge yourself back into the brutal memories of the past, then it’s best to act like you’ve changed numbers. If, on the other hand, you want closure, then picking up could be the solution you need to move on and look towards the future.

> Discover the things you SHOULDN'T do after a breakup <

It could be the key to clearing up a painful situation

Finally, when your ex gets back in touch with you, you might want to clear the air as quickly as possible. By doing this, you’ll quickly want to try and determine your ex-partner's intentions. Imagine that this contact brings your old feelings to the surface, while your ex only wants to see how you’re doing. That would be awkward…

One thing to remember then, before jumping in headfirst, is to take a breath and step back. Emotionally speaking, when an ex comes back on the scene, things can be tough and an instant upheaval could be provoked.

The editor’s opinion – Evaluate your own situation and feelings

Beware, because this situation could be the start of a dangerous game! It is very likely that he is trying to get you back and drawn you in again. Although it can feel charming and flattering, things are likely to become toxic soon enough. Remember, if you are no longer together, there’s a good reason for it.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

You might also enjoy the following content:

Read our latest articles here:

Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists? Are They Aware?

When it comes to people with narcissistic personality disorder, it is often difficult to distinguish the truth from the common misconceptions. In this precise case, I thought it was about time we took a closer look at their psyche and inner workings of their consciousness, by addressing whether they are privy to their condition. After all, people with such an intense sense of entitlement and serious lack of empathy must realize that they are narcissistic; right? Well, in fact, the answer to that is not exactly black and white, so let’s take a look at why.

What Phrases Do Narcissists Say? - 20 Crushing Statements

Narcissists are known for having a certain way with words, these folks certainly use this talent to their advantage, that's to say, to sink their teeth into their victims. Now, these calculating crooks don't use their gift of the gab to build people up, no, of course, they don't! Instead, the opposite is true, they use their smoothness to tear down their victims, destroy their confidence, and isolate them from their loved ones, all whilst brainwashing them and pretending to be the real victim. Wow, I don't know about you, but to me, that seems like a lot of work! Now, as skillful narcissists are, they can't completely dissimulate their true intentions and at points, their tongue betrays them, as you'll soon see in the following quotes. Here's what they typically say to bring people down...

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

Do Narcissists Regret Hurting People?

From their lack of empathy to their scarily manipulative and controlling streak, narcissists arguably display despicable behavior that simply can’t be condoned. Once these people get their claws into a victim, they become ruthless and have absolutely no regard for the effects their behavior may have on their mental health. Now, as with many syndromes, nothing is black and white with these types of personality disorders. In fact, there are certainly many inaccurate theories regarding their relationship with remorse regarding their actions, and that’s why I’m here to set the record straight.

8 Reasons Why Ghosters Always Come Back 👻

If you’ve ever given online dating a whirl, the chances are you’ve been ghosted by someone. Now, for those of you who are unaware of this practice, it involves putting a sudden end to a relationship without offering any form of explanation. If I had to estimate how many times this has happened to me, I’d say there are definitely over 10 guys out there who owe me an explanation as to why they suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth… However, all the confusion and short-lived heartbreak has taught me that ghosters always seem to reappear at one time or another.

Should You Really Confess Your Feelings?

Who hasn’t had a crush in their life? You know, it’s when you fall for someone and have feelings for them even though you don’t really know them. I’m one of those people who have had lots of crushes, and sometimes I’ve even admitted my feelings. In fact, a recent example was just before I started my relationship with my current partner. I offloaded what I was feeling all of a sudden… I’ll tell you why I did it and how to go about it.

"Nobody Likes Me"

Never invited to parties, never listened to or solicited... It feels like you're just an ordinary person, who is pushed aside and has no value. If this is the case, we often end up coming to the sad conclusion that "nobody likes us! But, why do we think this? Now, this thought does not reflect reality, it hides deeper issues that need to be worked on to detach ourselves from this heavy feeling. Everyone deserves to be loved, including us!

6 Reasons Why Narcissists Never Apologize - They Hate Saying Sorry

I’ll be the first to admit that my stubbornness means I’m not exactly the most willing person when it comes to uttering the words ‘I’m sorry’, but I always push through my pride; although unfortunately, the same can’t be said for narcissists... Indeed, people who suffer from this personality disorder will simply never hold their hands up and accept responsibility for their actions, despite how deeply they’ve hurt your feelings. 😱 You know the idiom getting blood from a stone, right? Well, when it comes to apologies from these toxic personalities, nothing is more appropriate, and here are 6 reasons why!

Do Narcissists Enjoy Kissing?

Kissing is a deeply intimate act, and although in popular culture it is often classed as only being worthy of first base, it does in fact go way beyond that toxic evaluation. We have no doubt all had at least one lingering kiss that we’ll never forget; one which left all of our senses tingling and hungry for more. 💏 Well, that memorable smooch left us reminiscing because it was sincere and meant something. In short, it encapsulated love and romance, which are two things that narcissists are quite simply incapable of feeling.

How Do You Know A Narcissist Is Cheating?

Narcissism is wholly incompatible with healthy relationships, which goes some way in explaining why people with this personality disorder always believe the grass is greener elsewhere. Indeed, fidelity isn’t something they excel in and adds to their exhaustive list of weaknesses alongside their love of manipulation and dishonesty. 💔 However, they are so cunning and crafty that catching them out and confirming your intuitions is no easy feat. To make things easier for you, here are the 10 signs you need to look out for if you believe your narcissistic man is cheating on you.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

Only LoveBen Howard
4:08
Invalid date
Fix YouColdplay
4:55
Beautiful DayU2
4:08
Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
4:41
White FlagDido
4:00
Lay Me DownSam Smith
4:13
Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
3:17
Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
3:35
Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
4:24
Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
3:07
Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
4:37
Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
3:46
What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
2:17
With Or Without YouU2
4:56
HelloAdele
4:55
Don't Stop Me NowQueen
3:29
Skinny LoveBirdy
3:21
WingsBirdy
4:12
Californian SoilLondon Grammar
3:41