How Do You Know A Narcissist Is Cheating? 10 Signs They're Unfaithful

Last updated by Katie M.

Narcissism is wholly incompatible with healthy relationships, which goes some way in explaining why people with this personality disorder always believe the grass is greener elsewhere. Indeed, fidelity isn’t something they excel in and adds to their exhaustive list of weaknesses alongside their love of manipulation and dishonesty. 💔 However, they are so cunning and crafty that catching them out and confirming your intuitions is no easy feat. To make things easier for you, here are the 10 signs you need to look out for if you believe your narcissistic man is cheating on you.

How Do You Know A Narcissist Is Cheating? 10 Signs They're Unfaithful

Narcissists are infamous cheaters because infidelity gives them the power trip they are looking for, and convinces them that they can get away with it. For narcissists, cheating is not just about physical betrayal—it’s about control, manipulation, and feeding their insatiable ego. They thrive on the excitement of deception and the thrill of getting away with it. Cheating allows them to maintain a sense of superiority over their partner, reinforcing their belief that they are untouchable and above the rules that govern normal relationships. That’s right, they believe they can do ANYTHING, provided their victim is hooked on them. Their reputations in love certainly aren’t rosy, and that’s because they suffer from what’s known as ‘narcissistic supply’, which means they need attention from everyone, despite their relationship status. In fact, one relationship will never be enough for them because it soon gets old and becomes boring. The truth is, these guys are true hunters, and like any good predator, they are always on the lookout for new lovers.

10 Indications your narcissistic partner is cheating on you 💣

1) Your partner love bombs you even more than usual

Love bombing is a narcissist’s go-to tactic for getting their victims to fall for their act, however, these slippery snakes will crank up the attention factor to throw you off the scent. When a narcissist is cheating, they often overcompensate by showering their partner with affection and gifts. This tactic, known as 'guilt love bombing,' is designed to distract their partner from their suspicions and to create a false sense of security. The narcissist knows that by being overly attentive, they can manipulate their partner into believing everything is fine, even when it’s not. Now, they don’t exactly feel guilty about their actions per se, but they certainly never want to be caught out and exposed for their extramarital affairs and wrongdoings. In order to pull the wool over their partner’s eyes with regard to their cheating, they shower them with ‘guilt gifts’ and compliments. In any case, the shift in their behavior will be evident to see, and they may even overdo it with niceness.

2) Your partner cancels plans at the last minute

This is another red flag that indicates an affair, especially in the case of a naturally controlling and domineering person. Narcissists are well-known for enjoying the upper hand in their relationships, and love ensuring that their victims follow their meticulous plans to the letter. Narcissists are creatures of habit, and they thrive on controlling every aspect of their partner’s life. So when they start canceling plans or becoming unreliable, it’s a major red flag. This sudden change in behavior is often because they are juggling multiple relationships and need to prioritize their new source of validation. So, when taking their need for control into consideration, doesn’t it seem a little fishy that they’d suddenly change their mind at the eleventh hour? Something certainly seems off there, if that’s the case…

3) They stop talking to you

These grade 'A' manipulators plan everything they do and always stick to their routine when they have nothing to hide. Therefore, if their routine includes regularly chatting with you, and yet they abruptly ghost you, then something is going on. In other words, there is SOMEONE else on the scene, and that someone else is giving them all the attention they crave.

>>> Read Why do I feel bad when people don’t message back?

4) They get angry and gaslight when you confront them

You’re probably already aware by now that these folks have little to no impulse control, so when you confront them with your suspicions, they are 100% likely to get very, very angry. Narcissists are experts at deflecting blame and turning the tables on their partner. When confronted with accusations of cheating, they will often gaslight their partner, making them question their own reality. They may accuse their partner of being paranoid or overly jealous, all while continuing their affair in secret. This manipulation tactic is designed to keep their partner off balance and prevent them from discovering the truth. Their sense of entitlement with regard to living a secret life means that they’ll go as far as gaslighting their partner in order to keep their secret under wraps. In short, they want their cake and to eat it too, in the greatest privacy, that is.

5) They’re on social media a lot

Social media remains one of the most gratifying outlets for people with narcissistic tendencies because it allows them to show off how amazing their life is. Plus, it gives them a platform to lure in potential victims, so it’s normal for them to spend a fair amount of their time online. Narcissists use social media as a tool to curate their image and attract new sources of admiration. If you notice that your partner is suddenly more active on social media, liking and commenting on other people’s posts, it could be a sign that they are seeking attention from someone else. Social media provides them with an endless supply of potential new partners, and they often use it to flirt and engage in secret conversations. However, if you notice that their phone is all of a sudden glued to their hands, and they start liking other girls’ photos, then alarm bells should be ringing.

6) The intimacy has dropped

Intimacy goes much deeper than just sex and touches on sweet kisses, hugs, and handholding too. The truth is, whenever men go completely off of these expressions of affection, suspicions should arise, and this is your cue to get to the bottom of it. When a narcissist is cheating, their emotional and physical energy is often focused on their new partner, leaving little room for intimacy in their current relationship. This sudden drop in affection can be a clear sign that their attention is elsewhere. Narcissists are known for being emotionally detached, and when they’re involved in an affair, they may become even more distant, both physically and emotionally. As humans, and even more so for those in long-term relationships, we need these special instances to keep the flame burning away, so when they disappear, you can be sure your partner is hiding something from you.

7) You catch them lying

Whether it’s about who they were with on Friday night or what time their work shift starts, a narcissistic cheater will lie about anything and everything to avoid arousing suspicions. However, in their quest to cover their tracks they’ll eventually trip themselves up…

>>> Read up on why we lie.

8) They accuse you of cheating

Because nothing is out of bounds for these devious folks, they’ll even go as far as trying to turn the tables on their partner by accusing them of infidelity. It’s almost as if they feel entitled to do whatever they please, including rewriting their own narrative. Oh, wait, that’s right, they do!

9) They don’t want to show you their credit card bills

If your devious partner becomes even more secretive and deceitful with regard to their spending habits, then he is likely trying to hide fancy restaurant outings, plus the references to sexy gifts that you never received. The audacity of it all!

10) Their daily routine changes

If out of the blue, your man starts going to the gym, preening himself, lavishing himself in aftershave, and eating healthily, then these are certainly subtle signs that he is in the early stages of a relationship with another woman…

💡 Did You Know?

Research shows that narcissists are 50% more likely to cheat in relationships compared to non-narcissistic individuals. Why? Because their overwhelming need for admiration and thrill-seeking behaviors often override emotional commitments.

5 Insights to understanding narcissist cheating patterns

When it comes to relationships, narcissists often exhibit distinct cheating patterns that can be both hurtful and confusing. Understanding these behaviors can help you recognize the signs and protect yourself. Here are some common cheating patterns associated with narcissists:

1. Constant need for validation

Narcissists crave constant admiration and validation, often seeking it from multiple sources. This insatiable need can drive them to cheat, as they look for new partners to boost their ego and provide the attention they feel entitled to.

2. Lack of empathy

A narcissist’s lack of empathy means they rarely consider the emotional impact of their actions on their partner. They might cheat without guilt or remorse, rationalizing their behavior as justified or inconsequential.

3. Thrill-seeking behavior

Narcissists often thrive on excitement and novelty. The thrill of new conquests and the secrecy of an affair can be particularly appealing to them, providing a rush that their stable relationship might not.

4. Gaslighting and manipulation

If confronted about their infidelity, narcissists are likely to employ gaslighting tactics. They might deny, deflect, or even blame you for their actions, making you doubt your own perceptions and feelings.

5. Pattern of serial cheating

Narcissists often have a history of serial cheating. They may move from one affair to the next, always seeking the next source of admiration and excitement. This pattern can be a clear red flag if you notice a history of infidelity in their past relationships.

How to get a narcissist to admit they cheated? 🤐

So, if you want your narcissistic man to admit to cheating on you, what are the most effective methods?

Tactic 1) Provide proof of the affair

The first step in convincing your spouse to admit infidelity is to provide evidence of the affair. Your spouse will have no choice but to accept that you’re cheating if you provide convincing evidence. So how do you get proof of an affair? In general, the following approaches can be considered.

Tactic 2) Use technology to confirm your suspicions

Examine emails, social messaging, and other forms of communication. Many unfaithful men communicate virtually with their lovers. Since there are a variety of chat apps available today, it’s likely that they’re trying to communicate through multiple channels. If you discover that he’s talking to a specific person in a way that signals infidelity, you should take photos of the smartphone or use other means to gather evidence. We also advise you to examine his photos and videos.

Tactic 3) Receipts and account disclosures

If your man is staying in hotels with his cheating partner, you may be able to obtain credit card statements and receipts. Suspicious financial transactions can also be evidence of an affair.

Editor’s opinion - Cheats rarely change

Cheaters don’t exactly have a reputation for being the most trustworthy people around, but they do have one useful point, and that’s showing us that we are better off without them. Waiting around and believing that one will change is pointless when you could be living your best life alone in a healthy mindset! You have what it takes to walk away, so believe in yourself and seize the opportunity.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy… Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

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