How Do You Know A Narcissist Is Cheating? 10 Signs They're Unfaithful

Last updated by Katie M.

Narcissism is wholly incompatible with healthy relationships, which goes some way in explaining why people with this personality disorder always believe the grass is greener elsewhere. Indeed, fidelity isn’t something they excel in and adds to their exhaustive list of weaknesses alongside their love of manipulation and dishonesty. However, they are so cunning and crafty that catching them out and confirming your intuitions is no easy feat. To make things easier for you, here are the 10 signs you need to look out for if you believe your narcissistic man is cheating on you.

How Do You Know A Narcissist Is Cheating? 10 Signs They're Unfaithful

Narcissists are infamous cheaters because unfaithful sex gives them the power trip they are looking for, and convinces them that they can get away with it. That's right, they believe they can do ANYTHING when their victim is hooked on them, and too weak to stand up to them. Their reputations in love certainly aren’t rosy, and that’s because they suffer from what’s known as ‘narcissistic supply’, which means they need attention from everyone, despite their relationship status. In fact, one relationship will never be enough for them because it soon gets old and becomes boring. The truth is, these guys are true hunters, and like any good predator, they are always on the lookout for new lovers, plus they are great at hiding their true intentions. After all, they’d rather crush their partner's mental health than lose everything.

10 Indications your narcissistic partner is cheating on you

1) They love bomb you even more than usual

Love bombing is a narcissist’s go-to tactic for getting their victims to fool for their act, however, these slippery snakes will crank up the attention factor to throw you off the scent. Now, they don’t exactly feel guilty about their actions per se, but they certainly never want to be caught out and exposed for their extramarital affairs and wrongdoings. In order to pull the wool over their partner’s eyes with regard to their cheating, they shower them with ‘guilt gifts’ and compliments. In any case, the shift in the behavior will be evident to see, and they may even overdo it with niceness.

2) They cancel plans at the last minute

This is another red flag that indicates an affair, especially in the case of a naturally controlling and domineering person. Narcissists are well-known for enjoying the upper hand in their relationships, and love ensuring that their victims follow their meticulous plans to the letter. So, when taking their need for control into consideration, doesn’t it seem a little fishy that they’d suddenly change their mind at the eleventh hour? Something certainly seems off there, if that’s the case…

3) They stop talking to you

These grade 'A' manipulators plan everything they do and always stick to their routine when they have nothing to hide. Therefore, if their routine includes regularly chatting with you, and yet they abruptly ghost you, then something is going on. In other words, there is SOMEONE else on the scene, and that someone else is giving them all the attention they crave.

>>> Read; Why do I feel bad when people don't message back?

4) They get angry and gaslight when you confront them

You’re probably already aware by now that these folks have little to no impulse control, so when you confront them with your suspicions, then they are 100% likely to get very, very angry. Their sense of entitlement with regard to living a secret life means that they’ll go as far as gaslighting their partner in order to keep their secret under wraps. In short, they want their cake and to eat it too, in the greatest privacy, that is.

5) They’re on social media a lot

Social media remains one of the most gratifying outlets for people with narcissistic tendencies because it allows them to show off how amazing their life is. Plus, it gives them a platform to lure in potential victims, so it’s normal for them to spend a fair amount of their time online. However, if you notice that their phone is all of a sudden glued to their hands, and they start liking other girls’ photos, then alarm bells should be ringing.

6) The intimacy has dropped

Intimacy goes much deeper than just sex and touches on sweet kisses, hugs, and handholding too. The truth is, whenever men go completely off of these expressions of affection, suspicions should arise, and this is your cue to get to the bottom of it. As humans, and even more so for those in long-term relationships, we need these special instances to keep the flame burning away, so when they disappear, you can be sure your partner is hiding something from you.

7) You catch them lying

Whether it’s about who they were with on Friday night or what time their work shift starts, a narcissistic cheater will lie about anything and everything to avoid arousing suspicions. However, in their quest to cover their tracks they’ll eventually trip themselves up…

>>> Read up on why we lie.

8) They accuse you of cheating

Because nothing is out of bounds for these devious folks, they’ll even go as far as trying to turn the tables on their partner by accusing them of infidelity. It’s almost as if they feel entitled to do whatever they please, including rewriting their own narrative. Oh, wait, that’s right, they do!

9) They don’t want to show you their credit card bills

If your devious partner becomes even more secretive and deceitful with regard to their spending habits, then he is likely trying to hide fancy restaurant outings, plus the references to sexy gifts that you never received. The audacity of it all!

10) Their daily routine changes

If out of the blue, your man starts going to the gym, preening himself, lavishing himself in aftershave, and eating healthily, then these are certainly subtle signs that he is in the early stages of a relationship with another woman…

Why do narcissists cheat? - 5 Reasons why they are unfaithful

Here's why they play away...

1) They get bored

Narcissists are very prone to boredom - their "threshold", like their tolerance, to boredom, is very low. For them, the thrill of seduction chases away boredom and injects a streak of craziness into their lives.

2) They are impulsive

Being impulsive, they act on a whim, driven by emotions, needs, and desires - seen as essential and taking precedence over everything and everyone else. They don't care about morals and conventions... They think that this is for others, for the "low people"; not for them, who are "superior beings"!

3) They feel superior

These folks feel important, superior to others, and therefore, entitled to follow their wishes and whims in everything.  They enjoy transgression and feel as if they are above laws and social conventions. They feel no obligation to follow socially acceptable rules (accepted by others), and angrily reject any limitation of their power that others would try to impose on them.

4) They are control freaks

They always need to keep control over everything and everyone. Yet, a love relationship is based on giving and receiving, as well as on trust, vulnerability, compromise, honest communication, opening up to the other person to reveal who you are deep down... in short, on losing control. Nothing could be more frightening (and horrifying) to them, than meeting the needs of a real relationship.

5) Fear of intimacy

Narcissistic personalities are terrified of intimacy; they often adopt the "rubber band law" of relationships; when it's close, the rubber band is loose, everything is soft, and they get bored. But if the other person moves away (if the rubber band stretches), they feel the tension and desire to get closer again... and the cycle continues! Adultery is then an excellent way to escape intimacy - not to mention that it is also a less threatening mode of relationship.

What to do if you suspect a narcissist is cheating?

Unfaithfulness is one of the main reasons for divorce in so-called healthy relationships, however, if you discover that your manipulative partner has been hooking up with other people, this needs to be the final nail in the coffin. Infidelity mixed with gaslighting, lies, manipulation, and emotional abuse are too much for anyone to handle, which is why cheating needs to be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Although walking away may cause you pain, it will symbolically free you and release you from the grasp of your abuser.

How to get a narcissist to admit they cheated - Confront them

The truth is, these folks are accomplished liars and like to think they can pull the wool over anyone’s eyes. Getting a confession from them is like extracting blood from a stone, which is why you need to go on the offensive and call them out whilst catching them off guard. Accusatory statements like; ‘I know what you’ve been up to’ will do the trick, as well as obtaining proof too. If you are sure that your partner is being unfaithful, why not follow them, or look through their phone for evidence? You may be in for a nasty surprise, however, you’ll feel better for it in the long run.

Editor’s opinion - Cheats rarely change

Cheaters don’t exactly have a reputation for being the most trustworthy people around, but they do have one useful point, and that’s showing us that we are better off without them. Waiting around and believing that one will change is pointless when you could be living your best life alone in a healthy mindset! You have what it takes to walk away, so believe in yourself and seize the opportunity.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy… Let’s do it here and now!


Be sure to check out these articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.


Can you also do a report on the female narcissist please?

Read our latest articles here:

7 Golden Rules To Working Effectively From Home

Working from home probably sounds like a great idea, but with all the distractions, is it really a good recipe for productivity and efficiency? At home, when I'm not tempted to snack or scroll on Instagram, there is always something else that monopolizes my attention. But, like millions of others, I have to adapt to and master this new way of working. Between disturbances and temptations, how can I be well-structured in my home office? Well, I'm about to share all of my success secrets with you!

I'm Too Scared To Fall In Love; How Can I Overcome This Fear?

In love, things are never really certain and just when we think things are going well, they often seem to derail. That being said, when you consider that one in two marriages ends in divorce, it's no wonder that reluctance to fall in love is becoming an increasingly common phobia amongst people. This fear hides deep-seated anxieties and can become very painful and penalizing... To overcome your worries and cast them aside once and for all, you need to understand where they originate from.

Standing Up To A Narcissist Is Possible If You Follow These 9 Steps

If you’re anything like me, you’re no doubt sick of being manipulated and humiliated by the narcissistic vampires that surround you. Enough is enough! The time has come for you to stand up for yourself! No matter who is making you feel bad about yourself; you need to flip the tables and take back the power. Psychological abuse has deep and lasting impacts, but turning the page and moving on is the healthiest thing any victim can do. Here are 9 essential tips on how you can defend yourself against a narcissistic pervert.

10 Signs Of A Bad Friendship - These Should Alarm You!

Our instincts are often renowned for always being right, and we certainly know the signs of a bad relationship when we see them. Although, that being said, we do at times end up ignoring our gut feelings and only realize how toxic they are when it's too late. Just like in relationships, there are red flags we can't ignore in our friendship group if we want our rapport to remain healthy. Read on to discover the 10 signs that you need to update your girl group and ditch certain members of it.

How To Break Up With Someone You Live With - 5 Tips To Go About It

Have you decided to end your relationship, yet you want to do it in the kindest way possible? If you are in this situation, you must go about it in the right way, regardless of what's gone on or who is to blame. Breakups can be brutal, and you don't want to inflict pain and suffering on your partner, right? But you can't exactly let yourself be unhappy for much longer either, and need to move out. Letting someone down gently is a tough balance to enact, and it involves asking yourself the right questions to make the separation as painless as possible. If you want to be able to walk away from your partner in the smoothest possible way, you're in the right place.

Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Now, narcissists are known for demonstrating a worrying lack of empathy along with deviously manipulative traits, oh, and before I forget to mention it, HUGE egos too. Yes, that’s right, they love spending hours looking in the mirror and being told how fabulous they are. To put it in other words, people with this personality disorder are firmly in love with themselves, to the point of being totally obsessed with their so-called perfection, but the question is, can they put their self-admiration aside enough to become preoccupied with someone else?

Do Narcissists Enjoy Kissing?

Kissing is a deeply intimate act, and although in popular culture it is often classed as only being worthy of first base, it does in fact go way beyond that toxic evaluation. We’ve no doubt all had at least one lingering kiss that we’ll never forget; one which left all of our senses tingling and hungry for more. Well, that memorable smooch left us reminiscing because it was sincere and meant something. In short, it encapsulated love and romance, which are two things that narcissists are quite simply incapable of feeling.

8 Dangerous Mind Games That All Narcissists Play

People with narcissistic personality disorders love playing games because it reinforces their sense of control and validates their need to pull the strings. Now, the idea of playing games may seem fairly harmless and innocent, but the truth could be further away from the reality when these manipulative personalities are involved. Indeed, narcissists are always one step ahead of the rest of us, which makes it difficult to recognize when they are toying with people. So, to open your eyes to what they are truly capable of, discover the lengths they’ll go to, to remain on top.

How To Get Revenge On A Narcissist?

Narcissistic abuse is one of the most horrific challenges anyone can ever go through in life, but that’s not to say that their reign of terror will last forever. Evidently, breaking the cycle of abuse isn’t exactly straightforward, however, once the discard phase has been activated and victims realize that they can walk away with their heads held high, the revenge phase can commence. Unsurprisingly, getting even with a raging egocentric narcissist needs to be carefully planned, but ironically, their self-centered personalities expose to many axes of revenge, which will evidently really get to them…

What Does A Narcissist Hate?

Narcissists are experts in the field of duping and manipulating their victims, yes, that’s right they are true chameleons, which explains why many of them often go undetected. Their behavior is definitely dangerous and means we definitely need to figure out what makes them tick and, in this particular case, what they hate. Understanding what these entitled personalities dislike is one of the keys to best exposing them and freeing their victims from their grip. Now, we all get angry for one reason or another, but people with this personality disorder have different triggers related to the things they despise.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde

How to soothe an anxiety attack