The loss of control and vulnerability that love brings about often frightens us. We dream of passion and great thrill, but we still need to dare to open our hearts and let our emotions rule us.
Faced with the thought of falling for someone, some of us panic and can therefore sabotage their relationships. But, what are the reasons behind this? What drives people to run away from love?
How can I vanquish my fear of falling in love and experience my fairy tale?
A painful memory can often be the cause of a fear of love. As soon as this feeling begins to dawn, the fear of humiliation, break-ups or infidelity push one to flee from this commitment. To overcome this anxiety, acceptance of the situation, time and open-mindedness are all essential methods of recovery.
1. You need to accept your situation
If you're struggling to rebuild your life after a breakup, then how do you move on? Before you think about developing new feelings for someone, you need to forgive yourself, forgive your ex, and most importantly, accept that your past relationship is over. In short, you must convince yourself that you weren’t meant to be together.
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2. Take your time and open up to others
Once you have accepted your situation, you must take the time to get to know yourself, take stock of your deepest desires, do what you like and above all not throw yourself into the first adventure that comes along. Try to acknowledge your feelings and emotions.
Finally, it is important to understand and accept that a relationship is risky, but worthwhile. Give yourself a chance to experience this amazing emotion!
What are the causes of us being scared to find love?
Fear of abandonment, fear of being disappointed, fear of being deceived, or the feeling that we are not worthy of the love are common explanations. Here are the 3 most common reasons for a disastrous conception of this emotion:
1. A bad image of relationships built up during childhood
The image we have of a relationship is composed during childhood. In this sense, it is a crucial period. We form our first idea of relationships by observing our parents, the way they communicate and function. If this model does not live up to your expectations or is even downright toxic, it may explain your apprehension of loving.
2. You've experienced painful past relationships
To identify the source of your anxieties, ask yourself the right questions; What were your past experiences like? What memories did your ex leave you with? Any new relationship inevitably brings back your past experiences and can at the same time reopen old wounds such as betrayal... It may be time to face your demons, because only you can do it.
>>> Read about how to overcome betrayal here and move on. <<<
3. You lack self-confidence
How can you love or be loved when you don't value yourself? When we lack self-confidence, we can very quickly enter a vicious circle, and this unhappiness causes many breakdowns. Your irrational fear of not being wanted, being replaced or even cheated on can push your partner to run away, because they will not feel worthy of love.
If you suffer from this phobia, take time to reflect on your past, including your childhood and relationships. What conclusions can you draw? Also, think about working on your self-confidence to live fully and serenely. Once you are aware of the reasons for your discomfort, you will be ready to invest yourself emotionally in a new relationship.
- Read up on love and dating during the coronavirus pandemic
The editor's opinion: Fear and love are inseparable
Talk about your difficulties with your loved ones, because they will be able help you in your reflection and advise you. Sometimes it is enough to change the prism to find a solution. And if this is not enough, you can also consider doing this work with a therapist.
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