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A narcissistic pervert always has a very strong hold on whoever they are dating, which makes ending the relationship seem almost impossible in certain extreme cases.
That being said, you mustn’t lose hope because with our advice you’ll know exactly how to go about walking away in the safest possible way.
Are you wondering how to break up with a narcissist? - Do these 4 things to stop the abuse
1. First, free yourself from guilt
After spending such a long time being blamed and criticized, you may feel guilty for simply being you. You’ll no doubt be afraid or stressed to give your partner up, but it’s a necessary move. This doubt leads to a deep despair that can paralyze you from acting. Here, it's essential that you let go of this guilt before you leave him, however, be careful not to place yourself in the role of victim, as the narcissist may see this as an opportunity to dig his claws in deeper.
>>> Discover why we constantly feel guilty
2. Surround yourself with positive influences
Narcissists usually lock their victims up and isolate them. Although you might feel lonely and have perhaps got used to the solitude, it’s important to find support through the separation process and even beyond it. In order to do this, try to reach out to your loved ones, or alternatively, accept help from professionals such as psychologists.
3. Favor non-violent communication
When you have decided to take the plunge and finally free yourself from a narcissistic pervert, it can be easy to unload your pain on them and the tone can quickly rise. Nevertheless, try to base the breakup on a bed of respect for both parties. Here you’ll need to refuse the urge to turn to humiliation and criticism. Indeed, non-violent communication is a real tool for conflict management, which could be very useful in your case.
4. Cut off your partner forever
Explain the reasons for your discomfort without getting too emotional or even hysterical. After all, a narcissistic pervert is only interested in their own feelings, and unfortunately yours will never be important to them. Don't be fooled by any apology your manipulator may offer you and instead, insist on the fact that there will be no turning back for you. Even if it is difficult to get over the relationship, you must never accept a date for "old times' sake", because he will see it as an opportunity to win you back.
How to break up with a narcissist via text? - 3 Golden rules
Now, I’d never usually condone dumping someone via a text, but when it comes to intimidating narcissistic manipulators, this brutal method is totally fine. By not doing things face-to-face, you can really speak your mind and get your point across, as well as making it completely clear to your soon-to-be ex, that things between you are completely over. To get the message across loud and clear by text, follow these guidelines.
- 1) Keep your text short and sweet - No one wants a rambling essay, and with someone so manipulative, it’s important to be concise to close down any potential openings towards getting back together.
- 2) Proofread before sending - Even narcissists deserve a well written goodbye text.
- 3) Avoid clichés - Don’t waste your time saying things like ‘it’s not you, it’s me’, instead get to the point and clarify the situation as clearly as possible.
How does a manipulator react when the victim leaves them?
As you know, a narcissistic personality is always aiming for "I win, you lose", and he hates to lose. Therefore, when you tell him it's all over, he looks at it as if you're challenging him as if you're slapping him - and he can't let that go; he'll pick up the gauntlet and make you regret ever trying to win against him! So, he'll aim for victory; you'd think he's chasing you, but really, he's just chasing victory. His goal is to get things back to "normal"; i.e., him exploiting you, playing with you, and sucking the life out of you.
Of course, if you take him back, not only will it start again with the same degree of selfishness and psychopathy as before, but he will punish you for having "betrayed" him and left. In short, if you give in & take him back, you will bitterly regret it! Furthermore, they find the words to convince us, say what we were desperate to hear during the relationship and promise (but promises only commit those who listen to them!) to change and that if you take them back, everything will be different… If he contacts you after the breakup, it’s not because he cares about you (he is quite unable to care about anybody!), but to mock your suffering.
The editor’s advice: Leave no room for doubtWalking away from a toxic relationship can be daunting, however, you can’t doubt yourself in front of the narcissistic pervert and need to remain firm in your decision. Doubt is in fact a weakness that narcissistic perverts feed on to manipulate and control you. To dump them, you must adopt a confident stance and make them understand that things are over between you, once and for all. If you don’t feel comfortable going it alone at this stage, reach out to a friend or family member and ask them to accompany you. 🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now! #BornToBeMe |
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thank you so much, I know i still have a lot of healing
Shirley Cerda, 3 years ago