Is Flirting Classed As Cheating Or Is It Just Harmless Fun?

The question of faithfulness and the boundaries regarding this notion often crop up in relationships and aren't just exclusively reserved for new couples. We all have different opinions on what constitutes to betraying our partner's trust, but does flirting really make the list? After all, we all like a few spicy thrills in our lives regardless of whether we're taken or not. Making eyes at George, another parent at my kid's school, when I drop them off in the morning is part of my daily routine, so is that really classed as being unfaithful or not? The answer is simple: it depends!

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For starters, what is flirting?

Yes, it’s probably best to start by agreeing on what we understand by flirting. Flirting is nothing more than seduction, it's when you establish a bond. According to Wikipedia, it refers to a romantic relationship characterised by frivolity and one which is free of deep feelings. But, I don’t agree at all. I see it as an opening, and I believe it’s about desire and excitement rather than love.

I like flirting; does that mean I'm unfaithful?

I have been in a relationship long enough for the trust I have in my partner to be quite firm and established. I don’t worry about what he is doing when I’m not there. So when I have fun making eyes at the server in my favorite bar, when I laugh at his jokes, make innuendos or even brush past him, I don’t feel like I’m harming my relationship. For me, it’s a game without consequences and I can't imagine myself getting annoyed with my partner if he enjoyed playing the same game. When it comes to wanting to feel desired, I don't see anything wrong with it when it's done within reason. After all, what's wrong with wanting to please and wanting to feel attractive. 

>>> I'm unhappy in my relationship, what can I do?

Are some people too jealous to be able to enjoy these fun games?

I have a friend and even after several years of marriage, jealousy is an integral part of her relationship. It's not what I'd call an unhealthy jealousy, but it's strong enough for her not to be able to handle seeing her husband talking to another woman. For her it’s obvious, flirting is cheating. She can’t stand the idea that her husband might lust after or want another woman. She, on the other hand, doesn’t flirt at all and if she found out that her husband had spent the evening chatting with another woman, I’m not sure she would forgive him for it.

>>> Discover why we get jealous in relationships and how to manage it

So, is flirting cheating?

It all depends on how far we go, the trust we have in ourselves and in our relationship. Am I capable of teasing without taking it too far? Do I trust my partner enough to know he wouldn’t sleep with another person?

>>> You might find this article interesting: 7 Tips for an amazing sex life

Editor's advice – “I’m just playing…”

It’s all very well being in love, always yearning for our partner, but maybe, during a chance meeting in a lift, the new 6th floor neighbor makes a good impression on us. It’s no use, when he says hello to us or catches our eye, we feel a tingling in our tummy. And this is what we imagine, not to mention the other scenarios we come up with, the minute we are feeling down during the day. Yes, yearning for someone other than your partner is possible, and it doesn’t mean you have to act upon this urge. If flirting is synonymous with playing with fire, then a thought remains just a thought. And if we throw ourselves into the flames, we move on to another game…

So we’ve understood that love isn’t simple, but this doesn’t mean we can’t manage our relationships better on a day-to-day basis. Discover our 10 tips for a successful relationship and whether you should tell a friend she's being cheated on.

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